FINALLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!

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Replies

  • kgb6days
    kgb6days Posts: 880 Member
    seriously - be a man of your word, treat her with respect and don't accept being treated any other way yourself.
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
    kgb6days wrote: »
    seriously - be a man of your word, treat her with respect and don't accept being treated any other way yourself.

    +1
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    I would be honest with both those questions.

    If one feels he or she can't be honest with his or her best friend, confidant, and lover, in any area of life, (no matter how small or big) that doesn't speak very highly of the relationship, in my opinion.

    Ok let me know how that works out for you :bigsmile:
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    For the first question there is a correct answer based on who you are dating.

    True dat

    Do you realize how insulting it is, and shows a total lack of respect for your partner, when he or she is rebuked for speaking the truth in love? Why would you want to reenforce the ideal, that you want your partner to lie to you when it is convenient and to your liking?

    Call me old fashioned but, I don't see advocating lying to someone you claim to care about as something that should be rationalized away much less applauded.

    Speaking the truth in love is not always easy nor is it always easy to hear when it is about you. I have been on both sides of the honest fence many, many times. I would rather my lady feel she can come to me with anything on her heart, than hear "I didn't think you would understand" (translated: I didn't think I could be honest with you, because I thought you were like every other guy).

    I know nothing of your relationship history but your profile states that you're still looking for "the one"

    Theoretically deep and complete honesty looks like the foundation of a solid relationship, and it is. And please appreciate that a lot of my comments are tomfoolery

    however I do believe there's a value in white lies on occasion and in all types of relationship because we are all human and in reality nobody wants that deep honest reaction to every single human interaction particularly when you live with someone for years and years and build a life together

    Examples would be pretending you're interested in something because it gives your partner pleasure, saying or doing stuff because it makes them feel good

    But Yes trust is important in relationships, as is integrity and honourable intentions


    So you are saying not being 100% honest 100% of the time?
    95% honesty for 95% of the time.
    For example, if she loves a movie or a restaurant, you do not have to be honest and say that the restaurant sux.
    It would be o.k. to shade the truth and say you went to the restaurant once and would prefer to go somewhere else with her.
    The point is that you want to trust each other and be kind without being blunt.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.

    Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.
    Most good men are.

  • tomnev1
    tomnev1 Posts: 184 Member
    cristical wrote: »
    tomnev1 wrote: »
    Well done.

    I'm as charming as **** but I got married before I got fat. After I put on weight, I genuinely felt invisible, not that I was looking. However now, I'm definitely getting more attention.


    "Im charming as ****"
    ^ this might have made my day lol!

    Thanks.
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.

    Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.

    I would definitely be asking the first question . . . no double standard here :)
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    kgb6days wrote: »
    seriously - be a man of your word, treat her with respect and don't accept being treated any other way yourself.

    +1

    + 2.

    To be a good partner is simply about being a decent human being...

  • michaelafoor916
    michaelafoor916 Posts: 710 Member
    Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.

    50514_106660512697064_2240691_n.jpg

    I'm sorry but this is funny lol
  • michaelafoor916
    michaelafoor916 Posts: 710 Member
    Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.

    50514_106660512697064_2240691_n.jpg

    Not exactly, looks get a girl, but personality keeps one. That is why I started this thread :)

    I have to disagree. if a woman only gives you the time of day because you look good, she's probably very superficial and isn't going to recognize a good personality. I know we all have our preferences on who we find attractive but looks will change. They will fade, get older, whatever. You shouldn't have to change what the outside looks like to get a girl. the right one will not care what you look like. just saying.
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    acorsaut89 wrote: »
    senecarr wrote: »
    Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.

    Now if she's asking the first question, I'm probably flexible on answers for the second two.

    I would definitely be asking the first question . . . no double standard here :)
    No double standard, just the implication is the person asking the question is implying the other person is likely to be the limiting partner.
  • Blubberboss
    Blubberboss Posts: 26 Member
    Become a good person to everyone, NOT just her. (this is aside from the romance) Someday the newness will wear off and you will treat her just like you treat others, and vice versa. You need to BE the person she wants, not just a facade.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    My advice is to find someone who would have liked you regardless of if you were a little scrawny...
  • yarisbeth1
    yarisbeth1 Posts: 7 Member
    Just be considerate of the other person. Ask what she wants out of you and this relationship? And you tell her what you want and need from this relationship. Everyone wants and needs different things out of a person. Working it out together is having a happy relationship.
  • chaniluv
    chaniluv Posts: 61 Member
    The most spouted advice ever, but here it goes anyway: Be yourself. She's going to find out who you are eventually anyway and it's no fun keeping up false appearances. Stay nerdy, friend!

    Also, you might wanna get into the habit of putting the toilet seat down when you're done and putting the cap back on the toothpaste.

    But seriously, congratulations! I love hearing good news like this from MFPers. (:
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  • cristical
    cristical Posts: 126 Member
    chaniluv wrote: »
    The most spouted advice ever, but here it goes anyway: Be yourself. She's going to find out who you are eventually anyway and it's no fun keeping up false appearances. Stay nerdy, friend!

    Also, you might wanna get into the habit of putting the toilet seat down when you're done and putting the cap back on the toothpaste.

    But seriously, congratulations! I love hearing good news like this from MFPers. (:

    For real though. Toilet seat not going up and back down = big problems haha

  • cristical
    cristical Posts: 126 Member
    Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.

    50514_106660512697064_2240691_n.jpg

    Not exactly, looks get a girl, but personality keeps one. That is why I started this thread :)

    I have to disagree. if a woman only gives you the time of day because you look good, she's probably very superficial and isn't going to recognize a good personality. I know we all have our preferences on who we find attractive but looks will change. They will fade, get older, whatever. You shouldn't have to change what the outside looks like to get a girl. the right one will not care what you look like. just saying.


    I belive looks do matter some at first and there has to be that attraction there. I am not saying the person has to be thin, tall ect. I just feel there must be someone visual attraction. Everyone has has preferences. Nothing wrong with that :)
  • cristical
    cristical Posts: 126 Member
    Some*
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited July 2015
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    VeryKatie wrote: »
    Congrats on your new self confidence. It must be showing.

    You could maybe ask her how she is with money, if she wants kids, if she's hoping to be married some day, if religion is important to her, what she wants out of life... you know... get the big stuff out of the way so you know if you're compatible/looking for the same thing right now.

    That sounds like a stage five clinger. Oh never gave time of how how he was dating but I would not want some of those questions coming up too early.

    Nah I just don't like wasting time. I didn't imply what the answer should be. If she says she wants kids but he doesn't, that's typically a deal breaker. If she says she's wanting a fun relationship and so does he then they're on the same page. I always cross those off my list in within the first 3 dates. It only takes a couple minutes. If he is on the route to marriage but she's completely against it.. then again.. typically a deal breaker. I guess I'm old/just generally looking for efficiency hahah. I also tend to just ask those questions fairly matter-of-factly. I'm not good at romance. But my husband didn't mind talking about it on our second date. Then again... I guess I knew I wanted someone who wasn't worried about talking about stuff "too early".

    To each their own though. If it bothers you to talk about it then don't.
  • besee_2000
    besee_2000 Posts: 365 Member
    kgb6days wrote: »
    seriously - be a man of your word, treat her with respect and don't accept being treated any other way yourself.
    Definitely about respect, every thing else will follow. If you cannot respect her neither of you are good for the other.

  • Naja_
    Naja_ Posts: 85 Member
    Yayyyy! I can guide you with tips through a hidden mic on your dates if you get nervous. LMAO jk. Congrats. Be happy :)
  • SunnyPacheco
    SunnyPacheco Posts: 142 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    2. Be honest with yourself and your girlfriend at all times

    There are times when this advice is really, really bad...
    If one can't be honest with him or herself and the relationship, something is not right, in my opinion.

    I don't see speaking the truth in love as a bad thing at times. Granted, the truth may not always be received as we would like but, I think it is important to be honest with ourselves and the person we are dating or married to.

    Does my bum look big in this?
    You don't like my mother do you?

    My SO better say yes to the first question or I'm changing. :#
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