Social anxiety at gym

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helenjan3
helenjan3 Posts: 4 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol
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  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Regardless of what others may think by taking a look, their opinion does not (at least it shouldn't) change the fact that you are wonderfully you.

    Don't focus on what you think others may see or what they may think. Try and focus on being even more awesome today than you were yesterday.

    If you find yourself getting nervous or feel an anxiety attack coming on, picture everyone around you with diapers on and a pacifier in their mouths. ;)
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,395 Member
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    I just ignore everyone else. I have my headphones turned up and just do my thing. Obviously I'm mindful of others when I'm in the weight room so I don't get in anyone's way.
  • phillipdean299
    phillipdean299 Posts: 113 Member
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    Keep in mind you are there for your own health. Spend your time working out and let them waste their time staring.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    I think these fears sometimes come from how looking at ourselves in the mirror is often part of how we motivate ourselves to go to the gym. In doing so, we get a feeling that others are looking at our bodies, too.

    But the overwhelming truth, in my experience, is that if those in the gym are focusing on a body, it's their own. Sure, they'll see the others and maybe make a brief mental note, but most of them are really just focusing on their own appearance.
  • theawill519
    theawill519 Posts: 242 Member
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    I was anxious about going to the gym when I first started, too. Here are a few things that helped me:

    -Wear headphones the entire time.
    -Take a friend with you for support.
    -Go at a less busy time of day, at least for the first few visits. At my gym, there is NO ONE there on Friday night. That's when I started.

    And possibly most importantly, read this article: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    A common issue, especially if you are new.

    NOBODY CARES they are only interested in themselves.
    You are there for good reasons.
    Dont compare yourself to others.
    Go with a plan so you know what to do.
    Music is a good way of staying focused on you.
    Go to a gym you like where you feel comfy.
    Go at times which are quiet.
    Maybe get a PT if you can afford it and need someone to show you and get you started.
    It gets easier.
  • WSOX37
    WSOX37 Posts: 1,611 Member
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    Screw what everyone else thinks you are there for your health and well being go in that gym like you own it
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
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    csuhar wrote: »
    But the overwhelming truth, in my experience, is that if those in the gym are focusing on a body, it's their own. Sure, they'll see the others and maybe make a brief mental note, but most of them are really just focusing on their own appearance.

    This.

    I swim, and there's not a whole lot to hide waddling to the open lane in a public pool at 230+ lbs. So here's the way I look at it: If anyone IS looking, well let 'em. They'll see a fat chick trying to improve herself. And if that gives them pause to laugh or a chuckle or think to themselves "ewwww!!!! glad I don't look THAT way!" That's fine. I'm not there cruising for a date ANYWAY.

  • ExRelaySprinter
    ExRelaySprinter Posts: 874 Member
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    Lots of good advice here.
    Definitely wear Headphones and avoid "busy times".
  • paris458
    paris458 Posts: 229 Member
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    I felt like that too at first. I went later in the evening when there were less people until I got use to it
  • PinkDeerBoy
    PinkDeerBoy Posts: 89 Member
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    I have social anxiety too. I have found going to a smaller gym has really helped me. I know the times when basically nobody is there, so I can do what I need without worrying too much. I've also found that regularly working out has helped me better manage my anxiety over time. When I do go to a bigger gym (my college's) I tell myself that everyone is too focused on their own workouts to care about what one guy is doing, and that there are probably a handful of people there that feel just like me, and that I'm not alone.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
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    I've got it pretty bad myself. even going to my friends house whom I've known for more then 15 yrs causes a lot of anxiety.

    for the most part, the gym doesn't really bother me tho, I guess because crowds don't really bother me, I just hate it when there is an expectation to be social.

    since most people seem to be happy to pretend your not there at the gym, I'm fine.

    so I guess my only advice would be to just go and be uncomfortable, that's basically how I do it with every other aspect of life that it gets in the way of.
  • Jonny15121983
    Jonny15121983 Posts: 573 Member
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    Hey Helen!

    You've just described the exact reason I am very, very nervous about joining a gym. I have severe social anxiety too and understand that it isn't as easy as just ignoring them or pretending they aren't there. It can be tough to do but one trick that has worked for me is forcing myself to make eye-contact. The reason I think it works well is that we are naturally presuming the worst, when you make eye contact you will usually see no signs of what you fear in others faces and I can't tell you how many times when I look, I realize that person isn't even looking at me!

    I totally agree with Thea above too, headphones with music or a good audiobook can really help to pull your mind away. At the same time, try to get a really strong image in your mind of a big goal for you and focus in on that whilst letting the music drive you. That is what I do when I am out rollerblading and it helps me a lot :)
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    edited July 2015
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    I practice a martial art and one of the guys I workout with has severe social anxiety. We have trained together for 6 years now and he still has days when his anxiety really cripples him. Sometimes we have to just ease up and let him have a break. Sometimes he isn't the best partner because his anxiety makes it really hard to work with him without freaking him out. In the 6 years I made it to my black belt and he was right there cheering me on when I tested. In fact he had pre test anxiety for me!

    Showing up for class is sometimes really hard for him. Especially when we are doing sword practice and he has someone as intense as me coming at him with a bokken. But he just keeps showing up in spite of all of this. I can't tell you how much respect that gets him from the rest of us.

    Your anxiety is just a part of who you are. It does not define you and does not have to stop you from having success. But it is totally up to you whether you will let it hold you back.
  • andympanda
    andympanda Posts: 763 Member
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    Make it so you are worth staring at. You will be doing such a kick *kitten* job, you will be setting an example for everyone else. if not screw them all to hell.
  • BasicGreatGuy
    BasicGreatGuy Posts: 857 Member
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    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    I practice a martial art and one of the guys I workout with has severe social anxiety. We have trained together for 6 years now and he still has days when his anxiety really cripples him. Sometimes we have to just ease up and let him have a break. Sometimes he isn't the best partner because his anxiety makes it really hard to work with him without freaking him out. In the 6 years I made it to my black belt and he was right there cheering me on when I tested. In fact he had pre test anxiety for me!

    Showing up for class is sometimes really hard for him. Especially when we are doing sword practice and he has someone as intense as me coming at him with a bokken. But he just keeps showing up in spite of all of this. I can't tell you how much respect that gets him from the rest of us.

    Your anxiety is just a part of who you are. It does not define you and does not have to stop you from having success. But it is totally up to you whether you will let it hold you back.

    Absolutely.
  • accidentalpancake
    accidentalpancake Posts: 484 Member
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    I've talked to a great number of people on this issue, and believe me, the people who are being looked at and judged the whole time are the fittest people in the gym.

    Everyone else is essentially wallpaper. And that's a good thing.
  • Jonny15121983
    Jonny15121983 Posts: 573 Member
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    shadowfax_c11 wrote: »
    I practice a martial art and one of the guys I workout with has severe social anxiety. We have trained together for 6 years now and he still has days when his anxiety really cripples him. Sometimes we have to just ease up and let him have a break. Sometimes he isn't the best partner because his anxiety makes it really hard to work with him without freaking him out. In the 6 years I made it to my black belt and he was right there cheering me on when I tested. In fact he had pre test anxiety for me!

    Showing up for class is sometimes really hard for him. Especially when we are doing sword practice and he has someone as intense as me coming at him with a bokken. But he just keeps showing up in spite of all of this. I can't tell you how much respect that gets him from the rest of us.

    Your anxiety is just a part of who you are. It does not define you and does not have to stop you from having success. But it is totally up to you whether you will let it hold you back.

    Thanks so much for this post and story, both you sharing it with your perspective from the outside and your mates perseverance to fight through, what I can imagine must be torture for him, is really inspirational :)
  • Bacchants
    Bacchants Posts: 92 Member
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    I think the whole 'people are more focused on themselves' is true in a gym where people are serious about being in shape.

    I have the misfortune of going to a small and cheap gym (will be changing when I move yay!) and because it's £5 a month it attracts loads of people who are newbs/not that focused on getting ripped. I find that when I go to the free weight section I get a lot of staring (and I assume judgement) I've also had lewd comments and gestures. However, it's always from the dudes who are at the gym with 3-4 buddies where one is working out and the other 2-3 have nothing to do but look round the weight room. It's never from the serious gym regulars who only care about their workout.

    So tl:dr it's worth paying for a good gym, and make sure you check it out properly before committing to a full membership.

  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    helenjan3 wrote: »
    I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
    The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

    it's not them, it's you. they aren't staring at you, most of them are too engrossed in their own workout to pay attention to someone else.

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