Social anxiety at gym

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

Replies

No_Finish_Line

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

butterflyangelxo wrote: »

Ask your angels to surround you in their love and healing to keep you calm and to shield you from any harsh energies and just Remember it's not like these people at the gym are living your life and walking around in your body *kitten* em

Is there an angle in the right half of this pic?

Michaelxo444

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

butterflyangelxo wrote: »

Ask your angels to surround you in their love and healing to keep you calm and to shield you from any harsh energies and just Remember it's not like these people at the gym are living your life and walking around in your body *kitten* em

Is th

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

butterflyangelxo wrote: »

Ask your angels to surround you in their love and healing to keep you calm and to shield you from any harsh energies and just Remember it's not like these people at the gym are living your life and walking around in your body *kitten* em

Is there a problem ?

MySizeisMyChoice

I just workout at home or outside, for that very reason.

No_Finish_Line

happen to get much better workouts at home myself

emdeesea

So when you see someone on the street, what are you thinking of them?

Oh, you're NOT thinking of them?

That's what everyone at the gym thinks about you, too.

No_Finish_Line

emdeesea wrote: »

So when you see someone on the street, what are you thinking of them?

Oh, you're NOT thinking of them?

That's what everyone at the gym thinks about you, too.

right, exercising logic should cure the disorder, why don't you have a clinical psychology practice??

MsJulesRenee

I stare back until they look away

Usually the people staring are in between sets and really...you only have your phone, the wall, or other people to look at. Some people are just people watchers and they are not judging you, only looking - still uncomfortable, I know.

I once belonged to a gym where the EMPLOYEES stared and talked about you worse than the customers! It took me so long to get the courage to try another gym but once I did it felt much better. No one says you have to pick one gym and stick with it. If you are going for a couple months and still feel uncomfortable, switch gyms ASAP. Don't sign a contract until you know you will like the gym. Maybe see if they have some guest passes they can give you. Bring a friend the first couple times if that will help.

Find the least busy days (usually Tuesday mornings, Friday/Saturday nights etc.) and try to go then until you're comfortable. If there is a personal trainer available try taking a couple sessions to get use to the equipment, that helped me a lot in the past. Now I go into the gym, do my thing, and get out without feeling like people are staring at me because I don't know what I'm doing.

Also, wear comfortable clothing/undergarments! If you are subconsciously thinking about your body then you feel like everyone is too.

Walk in, head high, headphones on, and do you thang, girl! In no time it will be second nature.

Commander_Keen

helenjan3 wrote: »

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

My recommendation would be to go to the gym when its slow.

mccindy72

helenjan3 wrote: »

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

I used to spend a lot a time at the gym. There are a lot of different types there; the weight lifting group, elderly pool aerobic ladies, treadmill runners, a few ladies working out together (chatting), etc. Everyone is there doing their own thing. Of course everyone sees everyone else and has their own thoughts about each other. Personally I saw some bigger ladies come in, get on the equipment and do their thing. My thoughts? "good for you!" At least they were there, making the effort.

Kimberly_Harper

There are a lot of great suggestions here, and I think you have to figure out if you are just nervous or if you have an anxiety disorder. With the latter, it is a little more complicated than just telling yourself no one is looking.

Working through anxiety is a slow and deliberate process. It takes figuring out what the block is - you think that you are afraid of people staring, but it might actually be something else, like being afraid of drawing attention to yourself, feeling like you aren't as good as the people around you, fear of failure, etc. The person who mentioned the mirror has a really good point - and the martial arts story is great too. Also, the person who suggested that you befriend the staff...sometimes it helps the anxiety to have someone showing you what to do. I currently have a personal trainer who is aware of my anxieties and trains me in a less busy area of the gym, and works with me around things that I just cant do (like boxing - boxing makes me cry so we try other exercises for those muscles) I also recently started being able to take a fitness class without having a panic attack. The classes only have about 5-8 people in them. The more people that are there, the more difficult it is for me to be present in the class. Baby steps.

2snakeswoman

If you haven't already joined a gym, find other ways to get your exercise. I have a variety of workout DVDs I alternate among. If you have joined a gym, please realize that other people are not staring at you and judging. I was always focused on what I was doing and barely saw other people. The only thing that grabbed my attention was somebody being loud by dropping weights or grunting.

No_Finish_Line

think some are confusing body image issues with social anxiety.

I'm not so much sure it really maters to someone with social anxiety what the others in the environment are thinking.

In other words, someone with social anxiety could be perfectly convinced that everyone in the room thought they were hot stuff, and they would still be very uncomfortable simply because of the fact that they were around people in general.

phnxrth

I'm also socially anxious, but as a result of having been harassed and ridiculed for stupid reasons. What works for me is finding ways to think of the problem philosophically and spiritually that keep me on the path of healing, since for me it feels like a psychic wound. Sometimes I avoid situations, sometimes I call people out on their b.s., sometimes I try to be zen about remembering it's their problem that they're trying to suck me into.

I'll digress a bit. I'm an animal lover and there are some partially tame ducks and two of them got caught in fishing line over the weekend. They were tangled together and also tangled to some reeds. I saw them on Saturday, reported it to the responding agency knowing no one would be around till today.

I fretted, stressed, prayed, tried to soothe the birds which were 20 feet beyond where I could help them.

This morning someone came and rescued them. I saw them both swimming around as usual afterward.

It's a message of healing from the universe not just to the ducks, but also to me. The message is lots of people can use help who don't know and/or don't want it. That doesn't necessarily mean it won't happen.

Kimberly_Harper

No_Finish_Line wrote: »

think some are confusing body image issues with social anxiety.

I'm not so much sure it really maters to someone with social anxiety what the others in the environment are thinking.

In other words, someone with social anxiety could be perfectly convinced that everyone in the room thought they were hot stuff, and they would still be very uncomfortable simply because of the fact that they were around people in general.

Yes, this is true. Very very true. And the more people, the worse it gets. Outside of medication there are little ways of taking steps to cope with the anxiety, but it isn't as easy as just telling yourself no one is watching.

MsJulesRenee

No_Finish_Line wrote: »

think some are confusing body image issues with social anxiety.

I'm not so much sure it really maters to someone with social anxiety what the others in the environment are thinking.

In other words, someone with social anxiety could be perfectly convinced that everyone in the room thought they were hot stuff, and they would still be very uncomfortable simply because of the fact that they were around people in general.

"I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol"

How it is worded sounds more like body image/judgement, not true social anxiety. The word "anxiety" is thrown around a lot these days, usually when someone feels uncomfortable. It can go either way, she can take whatever advice works for her. Guess we really won't know until OP comes back, right?

FunSizedKJ

My best piece of advice is get a really slamming playlist together and lose yourself in it! I used to be worried about people watching me, too. It was a body imagine thing for me. I was worried people would think, "omg, look at that girl running! She's so big! blahblahblah" but then I realized, it's ok that I'm big and I'm running and I'm here. Better than being big, sitting at home and not putting in work to better myself.

Depending on the type of gym you go to, there are different ways to deal with situations if people are truly watching you. Larger gyms, like Planet Fitness, just smile and give an acknowledging nod. Many times people are actually just zoning out and don't realize their eyes have fallen on you. If you're in a smaller setting, local gyms or the like, introduce yourself. The fitness community is filled with many, many friendly, helpful individuals. I prefer smaller gyms, especially as a regular because it's the same people every day. We all are used to each other being there. In these gyms, people probably are watching you. But not because there is anything wrong with you, but because you're new to them. Once you establish your presence there, it will be normal. They will start talking to you, encouraging you, inviting you into their world.

One of the best experience I ever had was working out at a smaller gym where it was vastly adult men working out. I was a 17 girl, over 80lbs overweight and could barely do any type of workout without turning beet-red and sweating like a maniac. They noticed me because I was not the typical demographic of that gym. Little by little, they welcomed me in. It started as tiny tips about form or ways to maximize my effort and grew from there. Then it went from tips to words of encouragement and compliments on my form while lifting, progress, and the transformation my body was going through. I had assimilated into their culture and I was one of them, even though I started as vastly out of shape, a different gender, 20 years younger and, seemingly, having nothing in common with these guys. It takes time, but it will happen, and it will be so worth it!

Mischievous_Rascal

MsJulesRenee wrote: »

No_Finish_Line wrote: »

think some are confusing body image issues with social anxiety.

I'm not so much sure it really maters to someone with social anxiety what the others in the environment are thinking.

In other words, someone with social anxiety could be perfectly convinced that everyone in the room thought they were hot stuff, and they would still be very uncomfortable simply because of the fact that they were around people in general.

"I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol"

How it is worded sounds more like body image/judgement, not true social anxiety. The word "anxiety" is thrown around a lot these days, usually when someone feels uncomfortable. It can go either way, she can take whatever advice works for her. Guess we really won't know until OP comes back, right?

Yeah, is the OP just uncomfortable and nervous or is she having trouble breathing and having heart palpitations? Anxiety in any form isn't fun, at all, and getting around it involves a lot more than just saying "screw everyone else".

No_Finish_Line

Mischievous_Rascal wrote: »

MsJulesRenee wrote: »

No_Finish_Line wrote: »

think some are confusing body image issues with social anxiety.

I'm not so much sure it really maters to someone with social anxiety what the others in the environment are thinking.

In other words, someone with social anxiety could be perfectly convinced that everyone in the room thought they were hot stuff, and they would still be very uncomfortable simply because of the fact that they were around people in general.

"I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol"

How it is worded sounds more like body image/judgement, not true social anxiety. The word "anxiety" is thrown around a lot these days, usually when someone feels uncomfortable. It can go either way, she can take whatever advice works for her. Guess we really won't know until OP comes back, right?

Yeah, is the OP just uncomfortable and nervous or is she having trouble breathing and having heart palpitations? Anxiety in any form isn't fun, at all, and getting around it involves a lot more than just saying "screw everyone else".

good point about the OP's post suggesting body issues. maybe she's not really articulating her problem well.

and totally agree that the problem is more complex the saying 'screw everyone'.

but at the end of the day, if she's anything like me (and I am not to the extent that I experience shortness of breath) she routinely experiences this in her professional life. And the only option is to basically endure it till you go home.

mbaker566

sometimes me just going someplace ahead of time and checking out the place makes it easier for me

me I don't gym anymore. when I'm running outside, people say hi or ignore me. at the yoga studio, we are very supportive of each other.

making something a habit and making oneself familiar with the area helps tremendously.
as for people staring, they probably won't but if they do just practice your death stare

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dolliesdaughter

No one is paying attention to you.

Libertysfate

It's easy to say ignore them, or it's all in your head, but as someone who has social anxiety and not "just shy," I know the struggle. I can't say I have any advice because I don't go to the gym, I prefer to workout at home or do my running outside when I can. What I find works for me is to just go and get your business done and don't think about anything else (if I can). I find that thinking too much ahead of time is what makes me even more anxious. Also wear a hat to cover your face? I have friends who do that and they say that helps.

pdank311

No_Finish_Line wrote: »

I've got it pretty bad myself. even going to my friends house whom I've known for more then 15 yrs causes a lot of anxiety.

I feel this so much. It sucks pretty hard and doesn't subside, for me, until I actually pull the trigger and tell said person "I'm out". Then it clears and I enjoy my evening doing nothing around the house...

I workout at home.

No_Finish_Line

pdank311 wrote: »

No_Finish_Line wrote: »

I've got it pretty bad myself. even going to my friends house whom I've known for more then 15 yrs causes a lot of anxiety.

I feel this so much. It sucks pretty hard and doesn't subside, for me, until I actually pull the trigger and tell said person "I'm out". Then it clears and I enjoy my evening doing nothing around the house...

I workout at home.

that's pretty much me exactly ...

and the other post about thinking about it too much before hand is also spot on

AnnPT77

Thea519 wrote: »

I was anxious about going to the gym when I first started, too. Here are a few things that helped me:

-Wear headphones the entire time.
-Take a friend with you for support.
-Go at a less busy time of day, at least for the first few visits. At my gym, there is NO ONE there on Friday night. That's when I started.

And possibly most importantly, read this article: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

Yes, read that ^^^ article. Don't let the title worry you.

I read it months ago; it was reposted in a triathlon team forum on another site (no, I'm not a triathlete, but friends are, so I'm a fan-member) . How did the triathletes react? "What he said!" "Yeah, respect!" and the like.

I know this doesn't directly address social anxiety, but it *is* important to note that if there are good, serious people there doing serious workouts, and they happen to notice you, they will feel like that guy. Some of them will once have been overweight or out of shape.

Bozos may feel differently. Meh. You rock!

Me, I go to a Y. There are all kinds of people: Fit, overweight, men, women, octogenarian-plus to toddler, folks with disabilities, you name it. This helps me. (P.S. I'm 59, started at 60+ pounds overweight, have had bilateral mastectomies and swim without breast prostheses so practically concave up top. I'm sometimes the fattest person in my spin classes. I was very self-conscious at first. It took time, but now I think it's kinda fun to out-work younger, thinner people who underestimate me, then introduce myself after class in a friendly way.) And you, too, may make friends at the gym over time, which helps. Just gotta start, and stick for a while; it gets easier.

Oldbitcollector

Headphones... A... must...

You have picked the PERFECT time of year to start going to the gym. July is the month of the year where there are less people in the gym! (By the time they start coming back for a couple months in January, you'll be very comfortable with everything.)

I tend to have that "50 yard stare" when I'm between sets and trying to catch my breath.

If I'm looking your direction, I'm probably more focused on the wall behind you than you while I summon the willpower to press forward in the routine.

Don't let anyone keep you out of the gym! I was once the 320+ pound fat guy who looked like he was about to have a heart attack walking on the treadmill. If I can do it! you can do it!!

eryndon

Hi Helen,

All of the comments are really good advice. I also deal with anxiety and know that sometimes all the advice sounds good, but you can still have a hard time overcoming the anxiety. I have used EFT. It sounds kinda strange that something like this works, but after my therapist showed me how to do it, I have moved through many crippling thoughts. My first experience with it was after falling on the treadmill ( couldn't walk for a week and took weeks to heal) and was petrified of getting back on it. After 3 rounds of EFT I was able to jump back on with out my pulse going up and super confident.
Here's a video on the basics. I have some literature I can forward you if you like that goes indepth on it a bit more. email me if you like.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=1wG2FA4vfLQ

helenjan3

MsJulesRenee wrote: »

I stare back until they look away Usually the people staring are in between sets and really...you only have your phone, the wall, or other people to look at. Some people are just people watchers and they are not judging you, only looking - still uncomfortable, I know.

I once belonged to a gym where the EMPLOYEES stared and talked about you worse than the customers! It took me so long to get the courage to try another gym but once I did it felt much better. No one says you have to pick one gym and stick with it. If you are going for a couple months and still feel uncomfortable, switch gyms ASAP. Don't sign a contract until you know you will like the gym. Maybe see if they have some guest passes they can give you. Bring a friend the first couple times if that will help.

Find the least busy days (usually Tuesday mornings, Friday/Saturday nights etc.) and try to go then until you're comfortable. If there is a personal trainer available try taking a couple sessions to get use to the equipment, that helped me a lot in the past. Now I go into the gym, do my thing, and get out without feeling like people are staring at me because I don't know what I'm doing.

Also, wear comfortable clothing/undergarments! If you are subconsciously thinking about your body then you feel like everyone is too.

Walk in, head high, headphones on, and do you thang, girl! In no time it will be second nature.

Thank you so much

MindyBruno

It took me multiple times before I could walk into the gym and sign up. I ended up writing myself a list of the reasons I wanted to go to the gym and that I am worth it. I sat in the parking lot and read them before walking in. I also started going at less crowded times at first. Good luck

tmkikk

helenjan3 wrote: »

I have had social anxiety for the longest time more to
The extent of not wanting to go to the gym because I feel like everyone stares. I need motivation and tips to say screw everyone else lol

I had this problem also! Until someone came up to me and told me that yes they were indeed watching and that my gains and losses were kept them going! You are there for you! No one else. If at that big of a problem switch gyms. I've found that some gyms just weigh on my self confidence and others really get me pumped!
Add me!

970Mikaela1

The only thing people notice is hard work and consistency at my gym.