WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2105

Ina from Magalia, Calif. - certainly sounds as if you have your plate full. It's great tho that you have a friedt there to help encourage and support you. I have found the ladies here to be a great source of encouragement and support, or to administer a gentle kick in the rear when needed. Glad to have you on board.

Janetr OKC

Sylvia - only just seen your post because of others' comments. So sorry for what you are going through.

Love Heather UK

Ina, welcome. I am another Diet Dr P fan trying to cut back (with varying degrees of success).

Sylvia, I don't know what to say other than to send you a big ole cyber hug. You are one strong woman.

Cheri, way to go with those impressive stats.

Shirley, welcome. Sounds like you have your hands full, too.

My DH on the spinach-feta pie: "That stuff you made last night was really good. You can make that again." He is usually not impressed with my "diet" food. Tonight I'm making the white bean salad from that same site.

Today begins a six-week online Bible Study for me. It is based on the book Taste for Truth that I have talked about before. I am looking forward to it.

Miriam, I will follow the story of your hunt for an apartment for your son with great interest as we do the same.

mollywhippet wrote: »

Good morning. At least I hope it's good where you are. I got up early and started walking only to find that my hip joints are very sore. So, I didn't walk as far as I wanted to. Then showered and got ready to go to the studio. I called my son to see if he needed any help from me this morning and he snapped at me. He's having a really hard time breathing lately, and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I suggested he call the doctor, which was apparently the wrong thing to say. I asked if he needed me to help get his daughter to the clinic this morning to get checked for asthma. Again, the wrong thing to say. I asked if I could go get him some oxygen bottles, because he had run out yesterday, and he said they wouln't give them to me, he has to do it. He told me that he has a lot to do and that HE has to be the one to do it. He was yelling at me, so I hung up. Also, not the right thing to do.

He called back a few minutes later and apologized. I told him that I know he's in a lot of pain, and he's under a lot of stress. I told him that it pales in comparison to what he's going through, but I am under some stress too. He said he was sorry. I told him to call me if he needs anything, and that I'm always willing to help, but until he asks for the help maybe I should just back off.

The trouble is, he is dwelling on dying all the time. That can't be good for him or the kids. He's convinced that he will die very soon. I told him that if that is the case, he needs to start making some kind of arrangements for the kids. I hate the thought of them finding him. Apparently, that was also the wrong thing to say. He says he needs to talk about it but nobody will listen. I can understand that, too, I guess. It's really hard for me to hear that kind of talk.

(For those who don't know, my son has Alpha One Anti-Trypsithin Deficiency which is incurable and there are few options for treatment. It destroys lungs and liver.)

I'm supposed to take the middle child to the oral surgeon in Kansas City on Wednesday, but they say she has to be checked by a doctor for asthma first, so that has got to be today, and he is just blowing it off. If she doesn't get checked, she can't get her teeth fixed Wednesday. Hubby and I postponed our trip to see his sisters just for that reason, and his sisters rearranged their schedules too. So if he blows this off he is screwing up things for a lot of people, but mostly his daughter. For some reason the kids health concerns have taken a back seat. That burns me up, but of course, I can't say anything.

So, I'm sitting here at my desk, crying and feeling helpless and sorry for myself - and him. Thinking about the death of my only child, and the welfare of my grandchildren. It's heartbreaking. I don't know what to do. Standing back and waiting for it to happen is really hard to do.

My walking friend is bringing her granddaughters to the studio tomorrow to play with clay for a while, so today I have to get the work area cleaned up and ready. And I have drafting to do and have to prepare my bill for last month's work. It should be a big one.

I hope you are all having a great day.

Sylvia

Sylvia,
I am so sorry for the pain and stress you are experiencing. My DH is a disabled, brittle diabetic. He has battled problems with his eyes and feet for decades. Currently, one BKA and the right to go in September. Bone infections are so tough, has caused kidney damage so no more PIC lines with meds. I say this because he has been very depressed sometimes and thinks about death and giving up. We have tried different counselors, worked with our church folks, and family.... unfortunately family is too close, and is too hard for them to understand where he is coming from. Some days it has felt like he was giving up, and perhaps he did. But, I am trying to lose 100 lbs, so obviously I have given up some days too. His health and my weight have been a concern for a long time and our youngest DD is 15 and has long been worried her dad wouldn't be around a long time, but when my knee was injured from a fall, she expressed her fear about losing me. It hit me in the face and I knew I had to reassure her and to take steps to improve my health physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I'm plugging away, and as long as I keep moving forward that's a good thing.

Sometimes our loved ones that are ill rule every moment of our lives. I rarely have time away from my DH if not at work. He calls, hates being alone, and can be gruff and grumpy sometimes. My fuse tends to get short after a while and we have to work it through. We have been married 31 years, so we know each other pretty well. I still constantly ask him what he is thinking. Sometimes I have guessed, other times it gives him an opportunity to share, vent, or muse about random things. I don't know how long I will get to keep him here beside me, and am fighting every day to keep it as long as possible - that takes a toll and now I'm learning to take care of me.

Thinking of losing a child is heart wrenching, and to fear for your grandchildren is very real. Hugs to you. I think the nice thing about this group (from the week I've been here) is everyone is supportive and a venue to bounce ideas, express frustration and find support to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Hugs, Ina from Magalia - Northern California

whippet - I just read your post all the way thru - i'm sorry about your pain, both emotionally and physically. we are here for ya babe, i'm sooo sorry. from the major heartaches I have had thru-out my life I do know this. everything happens for a reason. we may not know what that is at the time it is happening but if you reflect, it will come to you. that felt so true with the death of my husband at a young age (34). he had to die so I could later be with Kirby and be as blessed in life as I am now. same thing with my sister, she had to die to bring the family together... we are hear, take it one day at a time.... hugging you from afar...

p/s:
I don't think I know anyone by their name and it is cuz of two reasons.
1- I suck at remembering names, which is why I will always refer to you as your profile name

2- I still suck at remembering names

Hello ladies - I'm completely behind and need to spend some time catching up on posts, but I did want to check in. I ended July down 4.2 pounds and a total of 14.8 pounds since the beginning of May. I was hoping to hit 5 pounds this month, but I set a goal at the beginning of this journey for 1 pound per week and I was right at that for July so I am happy. I figure that if I lose it slowly, then maybe I'm less likely to gain it back.

Daughter#1 has inspired me to try Pilates. A friend of hers pointed her to a website called blogilates.com that is free and posts monthly calendars of Pilates workouts. She is wrapping up the 30-day beginner workout and she got me inspired to start it. Last night, I felt like a complete noodle after the ab workout and I could only do about half the moves. Good thing I'm doing this in the privacy of my home, because watching this fat old gal trying those Pilates moves is quite a sight I'm sure.

August Goals

[
• 8,000 steps per day
• Continue at least 5 days per week of cardio
• Complete 30-day beginner Pilates workout
• Drink at least 6 glasses of water per day
• Log daily and stay under recommended calories
• Make an appointment with my doctor for a physical/list]
  
  Keeping you all in my thoughts. I could not do this without this amazing support system.
  
  Linda/IA

Hello everyone and thanks to Barbie for getting Aug. started for us! DD and I are still on our "accidentally" extended vacation; expect car to be ready by end of this week. Missing DH and home. We used the extra time and the free rental car to go and do........some places with no cell phone/computer service. Did you know that Pa. Has an elk herd? Or a thriving maple syrup industry? I didn't and I am from Pa. The Wellsboro. Area and Pa. Grand Canyon are fabulous sights, DD and Gemma hiked to the falls. I would have if the return was not all uphill. I did go down the trail partway to meet them on their way back. Most days we have been in "Barbie" territory on steps. Having the dog along does make some things difficult......some of the hotels were anything but "first class"......way below, I was checking for bed bugs! Went to Corning NewYork and toured the glasswear place....it was funny, when we compared notes, DD saw all the historical areas and I did modern. They have a gorgeous Chilluhly (sp?). Not together due to one of us staying with Gemma. Visited cousin in Elmira and a gorgeous restored park also there and Mark Twains grave. Wanted to go up to Watkins Glenn but shortage of rooms in area due to upcoming NASCAR race. On to Eagles Mere and Wyalusing Rocks. Landed back at cousins summer place now. Dinner out tonight with two women I went to nursing school with. Still sharing iPad with DD.

Welcome newbies!

Sylvia....My heart aches for you and all you are facing every day.....major,major hugs

Alison......If I could, I would just pluck you out of there. Please look out for yourself, document and sock away every penny you can......same thing I've written for almost three years, you have been sooooooo sad and hurt and miserable...........I hope the situation is resolved soon.

Janetr......Hugs to you to for all you are experiencing, hope things get better there.

My daughter has been living at home for 14months now after not getting into vet school on her first try and losing the job she had after college grad. I can't say it's been easy but I'll always be grateful for this extra year with her at this stage of her life. Now to get us home and get her off to VaTech!

More hugs to everyone who is facing difficulties or is having a bad day.

Hunger is not an emergency.
Yanniejannie
Pa, for the moment

Magalia - what a lot you are facing! I wish you all the strength you need.

Yanniejannie - great to hear from you. There is always so much to see in our own country, isn't there. I know I could never go on holiday with my kids, but I know you two are close. :flowerforyou:
We are going to the New Forest next week with my friend. We will have a light lunch at a popular pub and then go for a walk for as long as my friend can manage. The NF never quite feels like part of England - it has a unique ecosystem, mainly heath, but also bog, rivers and forested areas. Wild ponies roam there unfenced. All this half an hour from our house.

DH's cricket friend has just texted to say he is staying over next weekend for the match at the brand new hotel at the cricket ground. He has invited us out to dinner, his treat, our choice. :bigsmile: I have booked for us all my favourite table in the window of our local pub. Nice food, if a bit filling. I usually have two starters instead of a starter and main. They will be driving so we can have a glass of wine. What a nice surprise! Once upon a time I would have invited them to dinner, but now I am writing my books I am saving my energy for that. No more big productions!

Once again, I am thinking of all of you, both the celebrators and the strugglers.

Heather UK

Happy Monday ! ! !

NCCarol – Very insightful of you to be thankful because of the other PT/OT patients. “The grass is always greener . . .” is not always true. Your recovery will happen. I will keep the (((((hugs))))) coming. Hard work and rest has a fine grey line.

Michele – Thanks about my portioning. A few things I have noticed from the “men” in my house. If I don’t portion into baggies, they will eat the entire plate/bowl/gallon Ziploc, etc. This way, I have mine for lunch at work, and DS in his “corner” of the refrigerator. If I don’t put a protein and a fruit and/or vegetable for him, he will eat pbj or raman all day long because it is quick and easy. So I am not only controlling myself, but DS, too. DH is still a lost cause, but I will keep gently trying.

DJ – I have only (((knock on wood))) had 3 cold sores my entire life, but DS gets them a few times every winter, and rarely and randomly in the summer. I swear by yogurt (and/or acidophilus tablets) to get mine back under control, but DS uses Abreva. It is expensive, but a little goes a long way. I think he has been using the same tube for 4 years now. // Happy Anniversary ! ! !

Grits – knocking on wood with and for you.

Becca – (((((hugs )))))

Tracy – You are not alone. I have both RA and OA. I do my best to avoid white carbohydrates, and exercise as much as my joints allow (plus I get bored, too). It is a vicious circle. I gained weight because of the lack of exercise caused by the joint pain, but the less I exercised the worse my joints hurt, which means I desired to eat more and exercise less, so I weighed more and my joints hurt more, and round and round and round. Now, I do my best to avoid having reasons instead of making excuses. Plus, I have a pretty relaxed job, at the front desk, alone, so I am currently dancing in my chair while sending receipts to the printer. I do try to consume plenty of vitamin C-rich foods, and wash my hands a lot, so I am less likely to catch the things people come in with and spread. This is a great place to connect, understand, find advise and support, etc. Keep doing your best.

Janetr – Hugs for your sister and brother-in-law. Please also take care of yourself. Sepsis is a HUGE deal.

Barblg2 – Welcome. I like low carb, but I really only limit my white complex carbs. I bet even on your cruise you will find plenty of low-carb foods to eat. Think quality and flavor. When I was in Chicago a few weeks ago, my DS didn’t finish bowling until well past 11pm, so one of our few supper options was Pizza Hut. I logged a personal pan with pepperoni, then walked circles around the parking lot until I exercised off the calories I was about to consume. This was one of those carry-out only places, so sandwiches and salads were not on the menu. Granted we were only gone 5 days, but I only gained 1 pound that week, and have taken it off since that time. Keep in mind all the exercise you can and will get while on the cruise, and enjoy life now.

Joyce – (((((hugs ))))) I’m all about letting DH (and DS sometimes) do things for me. My condition is only going to get worse, so they may as well get used to opening containers and doors (plus it gets them ready for the next woman in their lives), carrying laundry, etc. I don’t make them do it just so I can be lazy. I am teaching them, and allowing myself to be spoiled. As long as I have been taking care of others, I deserve this. // Hugs also for you and Charlie and his infusion.

Lisa – (((Hugs))) for the custody hearing.

Allison – More (((hugs))) and prayers ! ! ! And (((hugs))) for your dad, too.

Miriam – So glad to hear DS is socializing. Baby steps for him too, I’m sure. Hugs !

Peach – Hope all was well at the Dentist.

Sylvia – Hugs, Hugs, and More Hugs ! ! ! Wait, another (((((hug))))). I typed a huge paragraph here, then deleted it, because I want to make everything better for you, your son, and your grandkids, but everything I type sounds bossy. I just want to hug all of you, and make it all okay. I’m sorry you have to go through all this. You are strong beyond words.

Ina – Hugs for you and DH and DD ! ! ! (((((hugs)))))

Margaret –((( Hugs )))

Jan – (((hugs))) for you, and other loved ones. And Prayers for Nathan ! ! !

Well, today was another crazy day at work, and I still am not caught-up on this thread, so I will get this posted, finish work, and try to check in again at home. If I’m unable, I will get back again tomorrow morning. Shopping alone tonight for $4.00/pound Cod and 3/$5 raspberries.

Hugs for Everyone ! ! !

Terri in Milwaukee

Well, sort of caught up.

Alison ... I don't know what to say, but I like what someone asked "what do you want?" What do you really want? I'm keeping you in my prayers ...

Sylvia ... Continued prayers for your son, you and your family. Learning to read what's behind the outbursts is a necessary skill when dealing with ill loved ones. I know. And I also know that a good cry can be very cathartic. Your situation is not fair. It is heartbreaking. And you are entitled to your tears. Hugs.

Lisa ... You are an inspiration! Way to go!

Pip ... Are you comfortable with your doctors' assessments of your shoulder? As active as you are, you really want that to heal without future limitations. Second opinion?

Let's see ... What's new here? Older son has been removed from all psych meds. He's struggling. Underlying physical condition needs addressed before we can try anything new ... And frankly, in one of his rants he's declared he will not take any more meds. Can't really blame him as previous meds have been determined to be inappropriate for his physical condition and practically buried him.

Younger son is not adapting to his cpap very well. We will soon have another appointment to address this. This weekend, however, he competed for college scholarships with his guitar ... Took first place in music composition, second place in vocals and third in instrumentals. Given he had never sung before (not chorus, not church) we were really excited for him. He just thought he'd give it a shot?? You never know! The college hunt continues ...

I learned, however, that you cannot even whisper in an acoustically perfect room ... Nor should you have a growling stomach! my bad!

Visited with my aging parents also (4 hour drive). Hasn't seen them for a while. They wanted both boys to visit. But my dad is very critical of the boys (everyone to be honest bust especially takes it out on my younger) and uses very subtle methods to pull each down ...older son could care less but younger gets very upset. So of course younger developed a migraine. My mother made my day by taking me to the basement and showing me a clothes bag with "the outfit [she] want to be buried in." Sigh. I suppose I should be glad that "burden" has been lifted?

My next visit will be solo.

Hello to all the new ladies! You'll like it here!

Beth in WNY

Sylvia, hugs and prayers for you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain that diagnosis must bring every day.

Katla, thanks for sharing information about Lupus. I am not that familiar with it. Just know it is an auto-immune disorder that can attack multiple organ systems, including the skin, and that people who have it often have a "butterfly" shaped rash across their face.

Mame, I know a lot, but since I haven't had a formal program of med school, I have gaps in my knowledge.

Antidepressants- I currently am on Effe><or (helps the serotonin and norepinephrine systems) and buproprion which affects the dopamine system. I also take a medication that impacts the thyroid system which "augments" (adds to) the benefits of the antidepressants. I have been on Prozac (great but raised my blood pressure) and Pa><il (did nothing but make me gain weight) and imipramine (the old fashioned antidepressant before the SSRIs were developed). And yes, it is very much a trial and error approach to finding the right antidepressant. I also e><ercise, use full spectrum lights, and use cognitive therapy to control the negative thoughts. I use a system called Wellness Recovery Action Plans (WRAP) to plan how I am going to manage my life with my mood disorder. It is also a helpful approach to coping with physical illnesses such as asthma, lupus, arthritis, etc. since you identify triggers for your symptoms, and a plan to deal with them, the early warning signs of trouble and how to deal with them as well as your daily maintenance.

I am changing my goals for this month. I need to up the pounds lost for the month if I am going to reach my ultimate goal by July 11, 2016.

August Resolutions 8/2/15

*I want to see at least a 6.3 lb decrease on my scale on Aug 31st!
*Drink 13 glasses of water / day
*Kitchen closes at 9:00 for me
*Follow Paleo totally everyday
*Plan menu's on Fridays
*Declutter the office - completely
*Upper body strength training every other day

I hope I can "talk" later this evening!!

Dear Miriam,
One of the girls had some experience and she told me that my friend with Lupis would let me know if I could do something. It is hard to sit on my hands when there are dishes to be done and a dog to be walked and vacuuming and shopping, etc. and the woman is lying on the couch, trying to gather strength to get to the bathroom. I want to intrude.
Anyway, you are a sounding board. That's valuable. As a CNA, I am continuously explaining that I don't know anything beyond my instructions. I purposely give the impression that I have matters well in hand, to give confidence to my patient, but often they believe that I am more knowledgable than I truly am. I know what you're saying. You don't know everything. You read, that's all.
Mame

Have a really wonderful day!!!