What do you do when you've lost all motivation?
Replies
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NiqueKristan wrote: »Hi, all.
Three years ago, I lost 50 pounds. I slowly but surely gained it all back.
Since January of this year, I have lost 35 pounds.... Only to gain 10 back in the past couple of months.
I know the whole "I've come too far to give up" etc but I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
I've had to talk to him and tell him he has to help me make better decisions. He can't say "hey, let's make cookies". He has to say "hey, let's cook some fish and veggies".
The point I'm trying to make is that I've realized my situation, and I am trying to make changes but I feel like it's nearly impossible to resist my cookie/candy/frozen yogurt temptations. Now, I'll eat well in front of people but secretly eat poorly.
When I'm bored, I eat. It feels exciting and irresistible.
Also, It is horribly hard to force myself to work out.
I don't want all this hard work to go to waste, and I'm not where I want to be. But I'm REALLY STRUGGLING. Please, please help.
Food has been your excuse. It has been your distraction. And it is up to you to address why that has been the case. You already know why.
It is time to free yourself from your own chains.
When you come to the realization that your current state of being, as well as the past is not really about food, you will find your inner spark (read: motivation) once again, and you won't feel like you are riding an endless merry-go-round.
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NiqueKristan wrote: »Since January of this year, I have lost 35 pounds.... Only to gain 10 back in the past couple of months.
I know the whole "I've come too far to give up" etc but I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
Having work and school and a new relationship can be exhausting and motivation or not, finding the willpower to create healthier habits is incredibly difficult when you're always tired and stressed out.
It sounds like you may be someone who eats in response to stress (emotional/comfort eating). You may want to look into ways to correct that . . . Counseling, behavioral therapy, meditation, etc. Frequently feeling sad, lethargic, and unmotivated to do things you usually do can also be symptoms of depression -even if good things are happening in your life.
If it is just a case of apathy, try to revisit why you wanted to lose weight. See if you can find new reasons or goals.0 -
vivmom2014 wrote: »eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »"There's nothing wrong with baking sweet treats. It's not comparable to smoking!!"
while smoking is definitely "worse" here, the fact is that unless you can control portions, a tray of brownies will "disappear" - sometimes in one evening.
Yes. So you work on controlling portions. You don't demonize the food.
+1
The science has demonized smoking and is in the process of demonizing simple carbs.
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NiqueKristan wrote: »Hi, all.
Three years ago, I lost 50 pounds. I slowly but surely gained it all back.
Since January of this year, I have lost 35 pounds.... Only to gain 10 back in the past couple of months.
I know the whole "I've come too far to give up" etc but I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
I've had to talk to him and tell him he has to help me make better decisions. He can't say "hey, let's make cookies". He has to say "hey, let's cook some fish and veggies".
The point I'm trying to make is that I've realized my situation, and I am trying to make changes but I feel like it's nearly impossible to resist my cookie/candy/frozen yogurt temptations. Now, I'll eat well in front of people but secretly eat poorly.
When I'm bored, I eat. It feels exciting and irresistible.
Also, It is horribly hard to force myself to work out.
I don't want all this hard work to go to waste, and I'm not where I want to be. But I'm REALLY STRUGGLING. Please, please help.
Where are you going and how fit do you want to be when you get there?
Go to the basics - sleep, hydration, eliminate stress or address it. Break a behavior with a change. Be kind to yourself with your thoughts. Fill up on good foods first.0 -
vivmom2014 wrote: »eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »"There's nothing wrong with baking sweet treats. It's not comparable to smoking!!"
while smoking is definitely "worse" here, the fact is that unless you can control portions, a tray of brownies will "disappear" - sometimes in one evening.
Yes. So you work on controlling portions. You don't demonize the food.
+1
The science has demonized smoking and is in the process of demonizing simple carbs.
OK then. And many of us prefer the common sense advice of incorporating foods into your diet in moderation and not demonizing total food groups. If sugars and carbs are addicted than I am just super human. Immune. No worries, I'll take the Super Friends powers. No probs.
I have a friend whose uses occasionally also, without addiction - thank your stars for that!
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Sounds like you aren't willing to make the commitment, at the moment.
If you don't want to undo your current weight loss, maybe consider eating at maintenance for awhile. At least, you won't gain and hopefully the break will give you time to re-commit to your goals.0 -
I get from your post that you really want to stop derailing. When I derail and gain weight back I first start exercising. I do something easy, just to get my head back in the game. Then I start logging calories again. As one poster wrote, do you really want to exercise 7 hours for s plate of cookies?
Your good eating needs to become a habit. It will get easier once you cut back on the yummy junk food. But, we all know that not much can happen when you eat that stuff. I hope you can choose health over sweets. It seems hard now, but you'll be really glad you made that choice 25# from now, when you have energy and feel like you are back in control of your life.0 -
You have lost a 25 pound bag of cat litter. Way to get it! Nothing wrong with baking or cookies. As you know, all things in moderation.0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »You have lost a 25 pound bag of cat litter. Way to get it! Nothing wrong with baking or cookies. As you know, all things in moderation.
OP, maybe go to the store and pick up one of the 25lb bags as a reminder. I agree, it's quite an accomplishment. Track and log your food accurately, and fit in the treats you make with the SO. Perhaps bake a little less frequently and spread out the treats, but you can definitely make it work.0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »You have lost a 25 pound bag of cat litter. Way to get it! Nothing wrong with baking or cookies. As you know, all things in moderation.
OP, maybe go to the store and pick up one of the 25lb bags as a reminder. I agree, it's quite an accomplishment. Track and log your food accurately, and fit in the treats you make with the SO. Perhaps bake a little less frequently and spread out the treats, but you can definitely make it work.
I've lost nearly thirty pounds and have a little over thirty pounds to go, and when I think about carrying around a sixty-pound lead jacket on me now, I shudder. I still have another thirty to go, so I'm still carrying THAT thirty-pound lead jacket. This morning, without thinking about it, I bent down and tied my shoe. Oh. My. Gosh. I can't remember the last time I could do that. I can cross my legs now, although not very comfortably. I will be very happy happy joy joy when I get to my goal weight and rid myself of the lead jackets.0 -
NiqueKristan wrote: »Hi, all.
Three years ago, I lost 50 pounds. I slowly but surely gained it all back.
Since January of this year, I have lost 35 pounds.... Only to gain 10 back in the past couple of months.
I know the whole "I've come too far to give up" etc but I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
I've had to talk to him and tell him he has to help me make better decisions. He can't say "hey, let's make cookies". He has to say "hey, let's cook some fish and veggies".
The point I'm trying to make is that I've realized my situation, and I am trying to make changes but I feel like it's nearly impossible to resist my cookie/candy/frozen yogurt temptations. Now, I'll eat well in front of people but secretly eat poorly.
When I'm bored, I eat. It feels exciting and irresistible.
Also, It is horribly hard to force myself to work out.
I don't want all this hard work to go to waste, and I'm not where I want to be. But I'm REALLY STRUGGLING. Please, please help.
Ha! Every time I get into a relationship, I gain weight because I cook differently and spend less time at the gym. But when my fiance and I set a date, I thought "Wedding Pictures!" That was a wake up call for me and I committed to logging here on MFP. That changed what I eat, because I hate going over my calorie budget.
We're still eating treats, but in smaller servings and less often. When I make a batch of cookie dough, I bake three - two for him and one for me - and freeze the rest.
I have found the less high-glycemic load foods like cookies and candy I eat, the less I want. When I do have them, I save them for the end of the day, otherwise I would eat eat eat all day because they seem to interfere with my satiety switch and I just never feel full.
Also, I'm often not motivated to exercise, but I am committed to it, and I do it. That seems to help with the food cravings as well. And sleep, and just all-around feeling better.0 -
First of all, thank you all so much for being incredibly helpful and kind.
I like the commitment over motivation suggestion. I have to work and pay bills, I must eat in moderation and workout. I do struggle with anxiety/depression. That doesn't exactly help my emotional eating, but I also do not want it to be my excuse.
I did post because I do want to stay on track and lose weight. I have a lot of amazing feedback to reflect on, thank you again ❤️0 -
NiqueKristan wrote: »I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
The more I work on my own weight loss and maintenance, the more I realize that finding ways to keep ourselves motived is the key. (I also agree with the commitment vs. motivation idea you got. It's one of the many things we do because it's important, whether we feel like it or not. Making habits is what helps.)
Also, for me, something that helps is finding new challenges I am excited about and working toward them. Weight loss was a fun challenge, but once you are in maintenance you don't have the losses to look forward to anymore (and sometimes this happens even when you just start feeling okay about your appearance and fitness, before you get to goal). So find something else that will help you care about fitness. Focus on improving strength or doing a race or some physical challenge that scares you (riding a one week bike ride or going for a hike on the Appalachian trail for the weekend or longer).When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
I've had to talk to him and tell him he has to help me make better decisions. He can't say "hey, let's make cookies". He has to say "hey, let's cook some fish and veggies".
Yeah, I get this, although really he doesn't; you do. Community and your social circle make a huge difference, though. It was easier for me when I was dating a guy into biking and hanging out with my triathlon group friends from the gym than when I was dating a guy who shared my theater and book interests more than the fitness ones and hanging out with my foodie friends. I like both groups, but if you are someone it helps to have a community to encourage exercise and fitness pursuits with, cultivate that. And if you think there are fitness things your boyfriend and you might enjoy doing together, suggest those (as with "let's make a fish and veggies dinner). (And if you do a long bike ride, you can eat without worrying about it, which is nice.)
I get it, though. Sometimes it is just hard. You have to remember why you are doing this; why you care. That's why longterm goals work for me. Or maybe try to figure out over the course of a week when you can fit in the higher calorie stuff and how you make it work (lower calories on other days, more fish and veggies, cooked deliciously, of course). That's the beauty of something like IIFYM, as others have suggested, or just logging.0 -
NiqueKristan wrote: »Hi, all.
Three years ago, I lost 50 pounds. I slowly but surely gained it all back.
Since January of this year, I have lost 35 pounds.... Only to gain 10 back in the past couple of months.
I know the whole "I've come too far to give up" etc but I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
I've had to talk to him and tell him he has to help me make better decisions. He can't say "hey, let's make cookies". He has to say "hey, let's cook some fish and veggies".
The point I'm trying to make is that I've realized my situation, and I am trying to make changes but I feel like it's nearly impossible to resist my cookie/candy/frozen yogurt temptations. Now, I'll eat well in front of people but secretly eat poorly.
When I'm bored, I eat. It feels exciting and irresistible.
Also, It is horribly hard to force myself to work out.
I don't want all this hard work to go to waste, and I'm not where I want to be. But I'm REALLY STRUGGLING. Please, please help.
■■■ It's not likely you at all so give yourself permission to give yourself a break...
Are you overweight in your midsection? Do you own a sugar meter? Have you tested your sugar level 2hr after eating? You can get a sugar meter at Walgreens with 10 free test strips for as little as $10.00. It may tell you what's really going on.
Most people that gain weight in their midsection are insulin sensitive. They secrete to much of this hormone when consuming even small amounts of carbohydrate or sugars. They do this for a long time without knowing it because spot sugar testing shows normal levels...The docs don't check insulin levels and herein lies the problem.
If you check your sugar level 2 hours after eating a normal meal including at least 50 to 100 grams of carbohydrates and if it's over 140 this is a strong indication you are either insulin resistant or diabetic or headed in that general direction. Most type2 diabetics overly secrete insulin perhaps for a decade or more until suddenly their cells start to ignore the insulins command to open up our cells to let sugar in. This leads to high blood sugar and high insulin levels as insulin continues to flood in to try and get the cells to cooperate.
But insulin serves many purposes in our body. Mainly it does:
1. Lowers blood sugar by letting it into the cell
2. Stores body fat
3. Inhibits the I'm full message to the brain by blocking another hormone access to the brain.
So look into the meter, check after esting 2 hours and if you're consistently over 140 something is indeed wrong and it's not your fault.
You can get control of it though through a ketogenic diet. I've eliminated over 400 insulin shots in the last 11 weeks and losing 2 to 3. Lbs a week with ease. It's a miracle for me■■■0 -
I understand the feelings of shame when you get off track. I too have gained and lost weight, and can't understand what happens when I just stop trying. Earlier this year I lost 20 pounds and since have managed to maintain but just can't seem to get myself motivated to do what I know will results in more weight loss. I want to lose 20 more pounds. I guess I should be happy that I seem to know how to maintain and I don't feel deprived. Keep reminding myself on much better I feel and it's going to happen.
I had a good day today with 1200 calorie, so hoping to have a stretch just like today!
Hang in there, you know what you have to do and you can do it!0 -
NiqueKristan wrote: »Hi, all.
Three years ago, I lost 50 pounds. I slowly but surely gained it all back.
Since January of this year, I have lost 35 pounds.... Only to gain 10 back in the past couple of months.
I know the whole "I've come too far to give up" etc but I have NO motivation. I just don't want to work out, I have work and school and I feel tired. I feel sad and I want to eat. I will buy frozen yogurt, candy and cookies for the weekend with Netflix and it'll be a good time.
When I'm even feeling happy, I eat. I recently got into a relationship and we cook and bake together.
I've had to talk to him and tell him he has to help me make better decisions. He can't say "hey, let's make cookies". He has to say "hey, let's cook some fish and veggies".
The point I'm trying to make is that I've realized my situation, and I am trying to make changes but I feel like it's nearly impossible to resist my cookie/candy/frozen yogurt temptations. Now, I'll eat well in front of people but secretly eat poorly.
When I'm bored, I eat. It feels exciting and irresistible.
Also, It is horribly hard to force myself to work out.
I don't want all this hard work to go to waste, and I'm not where I want to be. But I'm REALLY STRUGGLING. Please, please help.
■■■ It's not likely you at all so give yourself permission to give yourself a break...
Are you overweight in your midsection? Do you own a sugar meter? Have you tested your sugar level 2hr after eating? You can get a sugar meter at Walgreens with 10 free test strips for as little as $10.00. It may tell you what's really going on.
Most people that gain weight in their midsection are insulin sensitive. They secrete to much of this hormone when consuming even small amounts of carbohydrate or sugars. They do this for a long time without knowing it because spot sugar testing shows normal levels...The docs don't check insulin levels and herein lies the problem.
If you check your sugar level 2 hours after eating a normal meal including at least 50 to 100 grams of carbohydrates and if it's over 140 this is a strong indication you are either insulin resistant or diabetic or headed in that general direction. Most type2 diabetics overly secrete insulin perhaps for a decade or more until suddenly their cells start to ignore the insulins command to open up our cells to let sugar in. This leads to high blood sugar and high insulin levels as insulin continues to flood in to try and get the cells to cooperate.
But insulin serves many purposes in our body. Mainly it does:
1. Lowers blood sugar by letting it into the cell
2. Stores body fat
3. Inhibits the I'm full message to the brain by blocking another hormone access to the brain.
So look into the meter, check after esting 2 hours and if you're consistently over 140 something is indeed wrong and it's not your fault.
You can get control of it though through a ketogenic diet. I've eliminated over 400 insulin shots in the last 11 weeks and losing 2 to 3. Lbs a week with ease. It's a miracle for me■■■
Insulin sensitivity is excreting too much? What?
Insulin sensitivity is usually a good thing, it means your body reacts quickly to insulin and has no problem with insulin receptors on cells.
Diabetes is is the disease of losing insulin sensitivity.
Insulin decreases appetite, not increases.0 -
I was under the impression that science is largely responsible for getting rid of demons, not creating them.vivmom2014 wrote: »eileensofianmushinfine wrote: »"There's nothing wrong with baking sweet treats. It's not comparable to smoking!!"
while smoking is definitely "worse" here, the fact is that unless you can control portions, a tray of brownies will "disappear" - sometimes in one evening.
Yes. So you work on controlling portions. You don't demonize the food.
+1
The science has demonized smoking and is in the process of demonizing simple carbs.
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You're tired from work and school, and you just started a new relationship. Most people gain a bit when they get hooked up, bc it's often fun to watch movies and eat sweets w your sweet, bc that is cuddle time (which is especially attractive when you're beat. And the sweet stuff is bumping up your happy chemicals).
Get some time back where you can. Find a way to cut your commute if it's stupid. Streamline tasks or cut back on stuff that's not important. Go to a gym on campus or at work, do it RIGHT after your class or shift. For meals, get some kind of system going. Pick 5 lunches and 5 dinners and mostly rotate them so you don't have to think or plan too much. When you're back into the workouts, you'll get your energy back (if you're sleeping enough). Do active stuff with your SO.0 -
Put on my running shoes and go...somewhere, anywhere, short or long. I'm always glad I did.0
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I also tended to both reward myself with food and comfort myself with food. One thing that has helped me is to learn to cook a wider variety of healthy meals. I've tried a lot of new recipes and it's fun and rewarding when they turn out to be delicious and are not over the top with calories. I always manage a few treats as well in my day, usually a piece of dark chocolate of some kind. Depending on how I'm doing with net calories, it will be a bigger or smaller piece but either way I find it satisfying and fills my need for a little reward.
Good luck to you.0 -
I bought a fitbit zip a couple of days ago and only use it for counting steps. Having a pedometer helped motivate me in the past, but they kept breaking, so I quit. Since getting the FZ, my motivation has returned. I'm doing everything I can to get past those 10,000 steps a day!0
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When you lose your motivation, you continue with self-discipline.0
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Seeing my before and after pics really motivates me. I've come this far just to screw it? Hell no0
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Sounds like you are struggling with yourself. You say you don't want to exercise, but you like to eat. You also say that you eat good foods in front of people, but eat junk food when on one is looking. You're only cheating yourself, and you cant have it both ways.
Also, taking exercise totally out of the equation is only decreasing your chances of long term success. It all comes down to calories in calories out, and by discounting the calories out part, you limit yourself to only having the calories in part to work with.
You can do it with just calories in, but just be prepared to always be fighting the same battle that you have now.0
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