I am so scared...
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I had a good long think about this topic yesterday. I'm 43, and in my teen-through adult life I've ranged from quite thin to a bit chunky. I've lost over 30 pounds twice in my life through exercise and food control. (Not counting calories, but just "watching it.") And then a LOT of other times I've taken off 5 or 10 pounds and then gained back 10 or 5. And then a little more...
When I look back at the times where I was at a healthy BMI and maintaining, what was the trick?
It was getting regular exercise. I am naturally lazy, so this is big for me to admit! Sure I can lose weight by counting calories alone. And I have done, over and over and over! But it's the exercise habit that kept ME going in those glorious times of thinhood. It gave me energy, confidence and motivation to eat better, drink less alcohol, etc.
I'm crossing my fingers that this time it sticks. It sounds sad that I can't fully commit, but it's the hard truth... It's all up to me! I have to find it within myself to form habits that I keep forever.0 -
Don't worry with something that has not happened yet and that might not happen.vfocus your time energy and thoughts on reaching you goal. While reaching your goal you will acquire the tools or skill set to maintain your goal If you do this properly meaning you found a sustainable lifestyle
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I have been reading up on some articles that say the likelihood of regaining weight is greater than keeping it off long term, especially for those who have always been overweight or obese.
I can't imagine getting down to my goal weight only to regain most of it back. I think that would kill me.
According to some sources, most people who have kept the weight loss off for a significant amount of years was either once small or fit to begin with.
I have never been small, even at 3 I was chubby. So its like will my body just eventually go back to being what it knows best?
I plan to keep weighing myself & logging food for years. I know I'm going to have to work at it for the rest of my life at this point.
I think it will take effort to keep at a certain weight just like it does to lose weight.
One thing that seems to me to be common to people about regaining is that they stop monitoring their weight regularly and go back to eating more than they burn.
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I resent that kind of studies. They are not helpful for people who need to be inspired, not told they are most likely to fail, and they do not take into account what the subjects may have done to maintain or regain weight. I really don't understand what they are good for. They show that we as a population are gaining weight, but we already knew that.
The good thing is that the body doesn't want or remember a particular weight - but habits are hard indeed to break. Once we get down to a comfortable weight, it's easy to forget what brought us there, and that we need to do the same to stay there. And most of us who had to lose weight, like to eat, and it's easy to overeat if we aren't careful.0 -
It's not a point of view. It's a fact._Terrapin_ wrote: »DeguelloTex wrote: »
You'll burn very few extra calories because of additional muscle.angeliebeh wrote: »The key is to do more strength training. The more muscle you have the easier it'll be to maintain. As you will burn a lot of calories passively.
Interesting point-of-view. At 35% BF I have a TDEE of around 300 calories less to consume then at 25% BF and at the same weight. 300 calorie a day difference seems more then 'very few extra calories'.
Muscle burns somewhere around six calories per pound per day. Fat around two. If you put on 20 pounds of muscle, you're burning an 120 extra calories a day. If you put on 20 pounds of muscle and lose 10 pounds of fat, you're burning around 100 extra calories a day.
And adding 20 pounds of muscle is non-trivial for a male and very difficult indeed for a woman.0 -
crazyjerseygirl wrote: »I to have been overweight my whole adult life. I see a social worker. She specializes in weight loss (yes,they exist!) she lost and kept off over 200lbs over the past 20yrs.
One thing she said that changed my outlook on weightloss, and why I think that I will be ultimately successful, is to treat the process the same way an alcoholic treats getting sober.
Basically everyday is work. You HAVE to keep on top of it for the rest of your life. She's logged food for 20years. I'm only at 6mo but I now know that this is something I'll probably need to do forever.
Does it suck? yep. Is it fair? nope. Will I slip up? Absolutely, but long term I think it's what will give me success.
This.
Basically, you have to realize that once you start the weight loss process, it's going to be your life from now on. You'll never be able to eat like you used to again. I've been maintaining for a year and it's still a struggle every day.0 -
I think we need to deal with it as an eating disorder, lets face it we know we over eat. Sometimes for comfort, sometimes because the food just tastes so good, but we know we overeat, therefore we cannot trust ourself once we get to goal to keep on track without supervision. We need some accountability, which an app such as MFP offers. We all know that it is not going to be easy to loose the weight, and even harder to keep it off, as we might relax our habits a bit and there comes the slippery slope and the pounds comes back on again.
I think we all need a plan for what to do once we have reached goal (apart from the massive shopping trip) How will we keep it off? Tracking, exercise, a mix? Without a plan and sticking to it, I do think the majority will be putting a considerable amount of weight back on again. A lot of us have been overweight for the majority of our lives, being slim and fit will be a new experience, fun yes, but new to us.
So for me, I am not treating this like a diet, this is a lifestyle, I treat myself, I go out, I do not deprive myself, I work my butt off in the gym, eat healthily most of the time and have made new habits, such as walking a lot and cycling instead of taking the bus/public transport. I think it is all about making long term plans and starting to incorporate them now and making them part of your lifestyle, so when maintenance comes you have your base already in place.
My gym work consists of a lot of weight work and some cardio as I want to build muscles and tone up. If you compare 1 lb of fat to 1 lb of muscle it is like comparing a grape to a raisin size wise.0 -
Depends on you! The reason your wanting the weight loss..temporary for reunion or a fad etc or is it a true life change for you? I have seen people use the "quick" weight loss methods and programs like WW, Jenny Craig and the thousand more out there! They usually gain the weight back because those programs are not setup for long term use. Long term weight loss comes from your choice and lifestyle! Hardwork, dedication, healthy eating choices, willpower, mental motivation....YOU HAVE TO WANT IT FOR YOU! After a while it becomes who u are which makes it your life style change..0
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crazyjerseygirl wrote: »I to have been overweight my whole adult life. I see a social worker. She specializes in weight loss (yes,they exist!) she lost and kept off over 200lbs over the past 20yrs.
One thing she said that changed my outlook on weightloss, and why I think that I will be ultimately successful, is to treat the process the same way an alcoholic treats getting sober.
Basically everyday is work. You HAVE to keep on top of it for the rest of your life. She's logged food for 20years. I'm only at 6mo but I now know that this is something I'll probably need to do forever.
Does it suck? yep. Is it fair? nope. Will I slip up? Absolutely, but long term I think it's what will give me success.
I don't wade into these threads often, but I'm feeling compelled to note that this is exactly the realization I've come to - for myself (important delineation) - and it has actually taken some of the fear of regaining away. Once I realized that I needed to frame it this way, it was like a pressure valve released because I suddenly realized what I needed to do. It helped explain a lot of my past behavior and much of the internal dialogue that I still wrangle with. It's different for everyone of course, but for me this is the mindset that has kind of pulled back the curtain.
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I lost a lot of weight about 7yrs ago (100lbs roughly). I distinctly remember laying in bed one morning and admiring my slim tummy and saying to myself "No way am I ever getting fat again". Well... I got fat again.
In some ways I think that people get complacent and it's not until you have regained weight that you realise that you approached it the wrong way.
The fact you are considering this now is great!
I also think exercise is key. When you lose weight exercise is easier and more enjoyable and unless you want to count calories forever, then it's a good way to control weight.
This time, once I get to goal, I will give myself an upper weight limit or fat % to stick to.. maybe 7lbs, or 1% body fat.. I will weigh myself every day like I already do now and track it.. if it gets to my upper limit then I have to "diet".0 -
What has helped me maintain for years is I said to myself-I will never allow my weight to exceed 129 pounds. I keep a close eye on my weight and I am active.
I lift weights, walk, bike, swim and gym.
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I've been at maintenance for about a year as well. I set myself a 10 pound range. When I get close to the top part of the range, I lower my calorie goal . this summer I realized that I wasn't getting as much exercise for various reasons, and that my daily life is more sedentary in the summer. So I lowered my daily calories. This means I get fewer treats, but I won't have an uncomfortable surprise at the beginning of the school year that I gained weight. I log my food every day. I will probably have to for a long time because the difference between losing and gaining is like half a brownie or one serving of ice cream or whatever. It is what it is. I love this weight and I'm glad I know how to stick to it.0
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don't over think it- just do the things and then keep doing the things.
It's not that hard to get on track once you have the habits firmly established.
I'd also not get to wrapped up in reading fitness articles- they wind up distracting you from the focus. Training/technique articles yes- but fitness/health/wellness- they get you in to a state of what I call "frothing" where you're churning up a lot of thoughts intentions and emotions and drive- but the reality is this is a slow process- so getting yourself all lathered up into any sort of frenzy just makes you feel inadequate and frustrated that you aren't doing enough- when you probably are. "Doing enough" is usually less than you think- and LONGER than you plan. Most people think "doing enough" is DO ALL THIS STUFF- but they only do it for a week or two- and then wonder why they weren't successful.
Slow down- small changes- take your time.0 -
I think you are very brave OP, to be honest about your fears. You are already ahead of the pack because you are thoughtfully considering what will happen down the line. As a result, I think you are more likely to be vigilant. You are going into this with your eyes wide open.
I agree 100% with this. I worry about the same things too. I think that because we are aware of it, we have a better chance of staying on top of things down the road. Plus, we are learning skills right now (weighing food, logging food, exercise, etc) that will only benefit us in the long run.0 -
So I thought I'd share my experience.
Lost 100 lbs 7-9 years ago (down from a size 24 to a women's size 6 bottom, size small top in two years of weight loss). Kept it off +/-10 lbs for 3 years. There was a funeral in there, so there was plenty of stress I managed. Kept it off mainly by eating like I was more-or-less still on the diet during the week, but ate treats on the weekend.
THEN the smoking ban went into effect and I started going out to bars again. Gained a few pounds. No biggie, I'd stopped running, so I joined roller derby to stay active. At first I didn't really gain or lose weight, maybe 5 lbs of muscle and lost 5lbs of fat. But then I wanted to put on some more muscle to increase performance, so I gained 15 lbs (10 of which were muscle -- now a size 8/10 bottom but still - usually - a size small top). So there I was 20 lbs heavier than my lowest weight. But fairly happy since really I didn't much go up in size (except for my glutes, which I needed larger for my sport). Then injuries. Then I quit drinking. Fast forward a little to a year ago. 33 of the 100 lbs re-gained (back to size 10/12). But that's ok, since I already knew how to lose weight and keep it off. So I'm losing again, running, reffing. Lost 12 lbs so far of the total regain and haven't lost any muscle, by my measurements. (Back into the size 8s now.) I'd say it's way easier now to lose weight since I have more muscle than last time. My BMR is way higher than before (but I'd put on those 10-15 lbs of muscle, keep in mind).
But honestly, at my lowest weight my body fat% was still quite high. What I'm working towards this time is that goal weight, but a lower body percent, too. We're NEVER going to be a finished product. It's worth the effort to maintain. It's worth the effort to stay active.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
You'll burn very few extra calories because of additional muscle.angeliebeh wrote: »The key is to do more strength training. The more muscle you have the easier it'll be to maintain. As you will burn a lot of calories passively.
Gotta disagree here. I used to work in a hospital doing metabolic testing (body box, the gold standard). One of the perks is that you can test yourself ad nauseum. After 6 months of a lifting program I added *maybe* 3-4 pounds of muscle. My BMR went up 0.1 cals/min--an extra 140 calories a day if I did nothing. When I was up and using that muscle to move around, I burned a lot of calories. I was an eating machine and maintaining my weight.0 -
crazyjerseygirl wrote: »I to have been overweight my whole adult life. I see a social worker. She specializes in weight loss (yes,they exist!) she lost and kept off over 200lbs over the past 20yrs.
One thing she said that changed my outlook on weightloss, and why I think that I will be ultimately successful, is to treat the process the same way an alcoholic treats getting sober.
Basically everyday is work. You HAVE to keep on top of it for the rest of your life. She's logged food for 20years. I'm only at 6mo but I now know that this is something I'll probably need to do forever.
Does it suck? yep. Is it fair? nope. Will I slip up? Absolutely, but long term I think it's what will give me success.
This.
Basically, you have to realize that once you start the weight loss process, it's going to be your life from now on. You'll never be able to eat like you used to again. I've been maintaining for a year and it's still a struggle every day.
Many people believe in the "magic metabolism" and that once they're thin, they'll be able to eat whatever they want and stay that way--because they think that's what all thin people do. Reality check--thin people are thin because their eating matches their expenditure.0 -
@evileen99DeguelloTex wrote: »
You'll burn very few extra calories because of additional muscle.angeliebeh wrote: »The key is to do more strength training. The more muscle you have the easier it'll be to maintain. As you will burn a lot of calories passively.
Gotta disagree here. I used to work in a hospital doing metabolic testing (body box, the gold standard). One of the perks is that you can test yourself ad nauseum. After 6 months of a lifting program I added *maybe* 3-4 pounds of muscle. My BMR went up 0.1 cals/min--an extra 140 calories a day if I did nothing. When I was up and using that muscle to move around, I burned a lot of calories. I was an eating machine and maintaining my weight.
Then you're about four standard deviations, or more, from the mean as far as how many calories muscle burns.
0.1 calories per minute from, say, 4 pounds, extrapolated to your entire muscle mass would give you a BMR of 2700 with only 75 pounds of muscle. Forgive me if I doubt that number.
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kommodevaran wrote: »I resent that kind of studies. They are not helpful for people who need to be inspired, not told they are most likely to fail, and they do not take into account what the subjects may have done to maintain or regain weight. I really don't understand what they are good for. They show that we as a population are gaining weight, but we already knew that.
The good thing is that the body doesn't want or remember a particular weight - but habits are hard indeed to break. Once we get down to a comfortable weight, it's easy to forget what brought us there, and that we need to do the same to stay there. And most of us who had to lose weight, like to eat, and it's easy to overeat if we aren't careful.
The studies aren't done to inspire people, they are done by doctors and scientists so that they can understand the problems and challenges. That understanding ultimately leads to useful interventions. I suggest the problem isn't the study, but the media's presentation.
Some research suggests that the body does have a set point and that the body does try to regulate weight. Body chemistry does change when in deficit for long periods. This chemistry change drives the body to try to get back to previous fat levels. However, physiology is only part of the equation. There is also psychological/behavioral. It is pretty obvious from the number of success stories that one can overcome this set point via behavior. This is what many people here are saying - you have to continue to be vigilant when you reach your goal weight. Going back to the habits that got you overweight in the first place will give you the same result you had the first time...weight gain.
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I have lost 128 lbs in the past year and a half. I can't see how I can regain the weight as long as I don't go back to my old ways.0
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I'm trying to look at it as a permanent lifestyle change. I plan to keep logging my food after I hit my goal weight to make sure I'm staying at maintenance and slowly getting into the habit of over eating. It sounds awful, but eventually I WILL be able to add more calories to my daily intake and not be afraid of gaining it back, since I will have been going so long at a deficit.
The wonderful side effect of doing MFP is that I have become addicted to riding my bike, walking, and using the elliptical trainer to keep my heart healthy and to burn some extra calories off. I do not plan on stopping these activities at my goal weight either, and I may even add some strength training once I get my back issues all sorted out.
The thought of throwing all this work out the window is horrifying to me as well. The only way to stop that from happening is to keep paying close attention to what you eat and keep moving.0 -
Steve_ApexNC wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »I resent that kind of studies. They are not helpful for people who need to be inspired, not told they are most likely to fail, and they do not take into account what the subjects may have done to maintain or regain weight. I really don't understand what they are good for. They show that we as a population are gaining weight, but we already knew that.
The good thing is that the body doesn't want or remember a particular weight - but habits are hard indeed to break. Once we get down to a comfortable weight, it's easy to forget what brought us there, and that we need to do the same to stay there. And most of us who had to lose weight, like to eat, and it's easy to overeat if we aren't careful.
The studies aren't done to inspire people, they are done by doctors and scientists so that they can understand the problems and challenges. That understanding ultimately leads to useful interventions. I suggest the problem isn't the study, but the media's presentation.
Some research suggests that the body does have a set point and that the body does try to regulate weight. Body chemistry does change when in deficit for long periods. This chemistry change drives the body to try to get back to previous fat levels. However, physiology is only part of the equation. There is also psychological/behavioral. It is pretty obvious from the number of success stories that one can overcome this set point via behavior. This is what many people here are saying - you have to continue to be vigilant when you reach your goal weight. Going back to the habits that got you overweight in the first place will give you the same result you had the first time...weight gain.
I saw a special on HBO once about how when you start getting toward about 20% of weight lost, your brain and your body try tricking you into thinking you're way hungrier than you really are in an effort to get back to your original weight (and then some). It goes into defense mode, so to speak. They also said that once you've programmed your body to be that heavy, it will always want to go back to that weight and there's no way to stop that other than with drugs that aren't approved by the FDA.
This definitely happened with me once I hit roughly the 30 lbs lost mark. My weight loss stalled and I felt like I was starving at all times, even after a decent meal. I powered through it and came out ok on the other side, but I was glad I had seen that special. Maybe it was just a cooincidence, but the science does make sense if it's really true.0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »I truly believe that the majority of people who regain the weight do so because they see weight loss as a temporary thing which they have to do so they can go back to 'normal'. Trouble is, 'normal' is what got us to needing to lose weight in the first place. I think maintenance of a loss is as hard as the loss itself and you have to learn a new 'normal'. That's where success happens.
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EXACTLY0
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Domicinator - that's really interesting and I'm going to bear that in mind when I lose a bit more! I lost 21 lbs a few months ago and all of a sudden stopped the diet and went back to bad eating, maybe that way my body working against me then too.0
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I think too many see it as a short term quick fix.
eat 1200 calories a day for 3 months to lose 24 pounds, then go right back to eating 3500 calories and pile on the weight again.
I think that's one of the advantages of taking it slow, developing habits, breaking old ones.
I think too people don't even realize when its happening. It starts out with, I will just have this one cheeseburger today as a cheat meal. I mean why not, I've been slaving away for months. Then turns into...this double cheeseburger and pizza won't hurt for a cheat day and eventually...this big mac, nuggets, large coke, apple pie and large fries...
It becomes an everyday thing and before they know it they start feeling so guilty that they stop logging and thus begins the regaining mode.
I think the key is logging no matter what because it helps you quickly realize how much you're eating and how you need to get back on track asap.
Most people who regain too are probably not logging anymore. I know that was the case for me first time around.
Yuck.
The thing is, when you are taking good care of yourself and eating well, a day like that would make you feel AWFUL.
Don't be scared, be realistic and prepare yourself to put in the necessary work for the long haul.
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Ignore them. Work on changing the statistics with your own results.0
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Honestly, I think that if you lose weight by making changes that you can sustain, you'll be fine. I've had the same thought as you, but then I remind myself that before I freak out about regaining, I have to lose the weight in the first place! Just keep on track and cross that bridge when you come to it.
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I think you are very brave OP, to be honest about your fears. You are already ahead of the pack because you are thoughtfully considering what will happen down the line. As a result, I think you are more likely to be vigilant. You are going into this with your eyes wide open.
If there was any advice that I would live by, it would be, never stop tracking. Some people hate the idea of monitoring themselves for life, but I don't fight against that. We monitor our health and our teeth with regular check ups, so why not our weight and eating? If we see tracking as a horrible chore that we can't wait to get rid or when we get to our goal I feel it indicates that we have not really addressed the long term implications of staying slim.
We also need to let go of the idea that there are skinny lucky people that eat what they want and that we are deprived and hard done by. There are not people like that and acceptance that we do not "deserve" to eat massive portions is a big part of the struggle. I really worry for the people on this site that have a chip on their shoulder as if they have been given a raw deal in life and others have it easy - there is no accountability in thinking that way.
There is a lot going on in our heads and that is what can sabotage us.
Yes! I found this out the hard way the first time around. I got so complacent and stopped logging and ultimately gained all the weight I lost back. Second time around(this past January) did the same thing but caught myself before it got too bad. Now I may go off a day or two but I catch myself before it goes way too far.
I think the longest I have gone without logging in the past five months is maybe one or two days. I have really been consistent this time around and I'm hoping that it will continue to be that way.
I realize now that consistency is key to success in anything especially with weight loss.
And I have to agree. There really isn't skinny lucky people who can eat whatever and however much they want. It just appears that way because overweight or obese folks like myself are trying to get there while they are already there. But my best friend is very thin and sometimes when she does it poorly, I want to give up but then I think about how she eats throughout the day, and its usually very little in comparison. Some days she can go a whole day without eating much and I have to keep that in mind.
I've learned to accept that only athletes and very active people really can have an excess in calories and not gain weight and that's only because they have built up so much muscle mass over time and ultimately burn more than the average person.
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crazyjerseygirl wrote: »I to have been overweight my whole adult life. I see a social worker. She specializes in weight loss (yes,they exist!) she lost and kept off over 200lbs over the past 20yrs.
One thing she said that changed my outlook on weightloss, and why I think that I will be ultimately successful, is to treat the process the same way an alcoholic treats getting sober.
Basically everyday is work. You HAVE to keep on top of it for the rest of your life. She's logged food for 20years. I'm only at 6mo but I now know that this is something I'll probably need to do forever.
Does it suck? yep. Is it fair? nope. Will I slip up? Absolutely, but long term I think it's what will give me success.
That is a very good way of looking at it and I have begun to look at it like that. I know for me its definitely more than just a physical thing. Its definitely more psychological than anything else and so I have to treat it like an ongoing thing that will probably affect me for the rest of my life.
Its hard to think about doing this for the rest of my life when others don't have to but I know its the only way I will continue to be successful. And even though others might not have a problem with eating normally, there might be other things they have to deal with for the rest of their lives that could easily set them back if they didn't stay on top of it constantly such as alcoholism, smoking, sex addiction, drug addiction, cancer, or some other illness.
I thank God every day that it isn't one of those things and what I have to deal with is something much more reparative but some days I find it still hard to bear.0
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