First time I've ever had to justify continued weight loss!!
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Awesome progress, and and ironman? Fantastic!!!
Along with crabs in the bucket mentality, lets not forget how the insecure feel safer when there is someone who 'obviously' has 'bigger' (no, this is not what I feel) issues then them in the room! You loosing weight is removing their safety blanket!
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I had to add on again, because I thought of another super frustrating thing I keep running into: people telling me how weight loss doesn't work for them, and then spend 15 minutes giving me some BS about their metabolism or some ailment they have.
At a different family gathering several weeks ago, one of my cousins said to me, "I've been using a Fitbit, but it's not doing any good. Losing weight just doesn't work for me." I've probably said to people at LEAST a dozen times now, "Well, you can't just USE the Fitbit, you have to DO something with the data it provides."
Whenever I walk into a big crowd of people I know, I somehow become their counselor on why they can't lose weight. They see me, they notice the huge difference in my size and shape, and they feel bad about themselves. Rather than take it as inspiration, they use it as an opportunity to justify their lifestyle to me.
At first I was annoyed by it, but now I just think it's sad. As a society in the US, we have collectively decided that it's totally ok to be fat.0 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!
I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.
Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.
It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!
In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.
First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!
Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.
I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.
Keep being awesome, though
way to rock the ironman
I am 5'11" and 273 lbs. So when I tell people I need to lose 90-100lbs they freak out. "You don't need to lose THAT much," or " You are too hard on yourself." Listen folks, if you knew me when I was 170 you would realize that is at the top of my healthy weight bracket. Lol. I have lost 80lbs before and people just have a very hard time accepting your transformation. As much as we would all like to deny it we all associate who we and people we know are by their looks. So what I'm saying is I totally know what you are saying word for word.0 -
kaitlinclipper7 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!
I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.
Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.
It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!
In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.
First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!
Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.
I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.
Keep being awesome, though way to rock the ironman
I am 5'11" and 273 lbs. So when I tell people I need to lose 90-100lbs they freak out. "You don't need to lose THAT much," or " You are too hard on yourself." Listen folks, if you knew me when I was 170 you would realize that is at the top of my healthy weight bracket. Lol. I have lost 80lbs before and people just have a very hard time accepting your transformation. As much as we would all like to deny it we all associate who we and people we know are by their looks. So what I'm saying is I totally know what you are saying word for word.
Whenever people did this to me, I assumed it's because they think they (or their sister or mother or daughter, etc) looks about my size and they hate to think that they (or their daughter, etc) is 100 lbs overweight. That they're a failure because their loved one is overweight.
OR they know they're 100 lbs overweight, and when you say YOU'RE 100 lbs overweight they think themselves "Is that how fat _I_ look?!?" (please note I'm not saying anyone here looks fat. I'm saying people can sometimes see fat on others but not on themselves or their loved ones)
By you saying you need to lose that much, it's holding up a mirror to them, and they don't like what they see.0 -
kaitlinclipper7 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »For the first time over the weekend I had to justify a continued effort to lose weight!
I started out over 330lb and I'm now around 230lb but all these people have known me at my biggest. I'm very very fit and active and have 3 weeks ago completed an ironman in under 12 hours.
Being tall I carry my weight well but I still have a very pronounced belly and fat on the legs and arms I want rid of.
It was just a very odd experience to have to argue as to why I need to lose weight!!
In a way I'm using it as a breakthrough moment.
First off - congrats on your ironman! That's amazing and I'm pretty jealous and in awe of it . . . I wish I could do one!
Second - I totally get it! I started at 340lbs and I'm just under the 260 lbs mark now. However, some people have asked me what I weigh (which is rude, but I'm pretty proud of my 80lbs so I don't mind all the time lol) and when I say 260 they look at me and they're like you don't weigh 260 . . . there's no way you weigh that much. First off, I'm 5'9 or 5'10 . . . I'm not a petite woman by any means and I carry my weight very well. You should never ever have to justify why you want what you want for yourself. You keep doing you!! Stay healthy and do what's best for you and your body . . . you know what that is, others do not.
I think some people have a hard time dis-associating from a person looking a certain way and they must weigh a certain amount if they look that way. I know my own family looks at me in two ways: one - I'm not tiny so there's no way I'm running a 5K and two - I am way smaller than I used to be so there's no way I'm still over 200 lbs. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween and many people associate looking good with weighing less than a certain amount when that's not always the case.
Keep being awesome, though way to rock the ironman
I am 5'11" and 273 lbs. So when I tell people I need to lose 90-100lbs they freak out. "You don't need to lose THAT much," or " You are too hard on yourself." Listen folks, if you knew me when I was 170 you would realize that is at the top of my healthy weight bracket. Lol. I have lost 80lbs before and people just have a very hard time accepting your transformation. As much as we would all like to deny it we all associate who we and people we know are by their looks. So what I'm saying is I totally know what you are saying word for word.
Whenever people did this to me, I assumed it's because they think they (or their sister or mother or daughter, etc) looks about my size and they hate to think that they (or their daughter, etc) is 100 lbs overweight. That they're a failure because their loved one is overweight.
OR they know they're 100 lbs overweight, and when you say YOU'RE 100 lbs overweight they think themselves "Is that how fat _I_ look?!?" (please note I'm not saying anyone here looks fat. I'm saying people can sometimes see fat on others but not on themselves or their loved ones)
By you saying you need to lose that much, it's holding up a mirror to them, and they don't like what they see.
I definitely think you've uncovered something here . . . but I think also if even people do think this way, they don't associate or take into account that I might be 6 inches taller or have a different body composition.
A lot of people put so much value on weight and that isn't always the best way to look at things. Sure I weigh 260lbs, but I'm also 5'10 and I work out 6 days/week. I am solid and built like a brick *kitten* house . . . so no I'm not super flabby. You might only weigh 225 but you're 5'2 and never work out. There's going to a huge difference in how our bodies look. However most people do not take this into account at all and they just think this is what xxxlbs should look like. Or if you're over 200 then it's like OMG you need to keep losing but maybe you're tall and your BF might be 32% . . . that's pretty close to healthy. It's all relative. Also people do not always want to hear the truth. Like sometimes my work out sucks, and usually it's because my eating isn't super tight. Do I want to hear that? No but it's honest and I have no one to blame but myself.
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Back when I lost 60+ pounds people used to always tell me "You look good but don't get any skinnier". I was 5'4" and 140lbs. Healthy but by no means skinny or anywhere near being 'too skinny'. People are so ignorant and rude. It's pretty disheartening to lose a bunch of weight to feel better about yourself and people will still find a way to make you feel bad.0
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Maybe it is a concern about an eating disorder but I have people caution me about not getting too thin when I am clearly still obese. If they knew how much discipline it took me to eat at a deficit, they wouldn't worry.0
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I haven't lost a lot of weight so far and don't have a lot to lose overall but I work with the public and people can be quite blunt and seem to think that my whole life is their business, I'm constantly being told that I don't have to diet, when i am in the overweight category in my bmi, and then I am being told that I've put on abit of weight or getting some kind of insult hurled my way about it. I constantly have to remind myself that I am doing this for me, not everyone else. I want my confidence back, I want to put on an outfit and not change it a million times to hide my insecurities, but most of all I want to be healthy.. Plus it a nice feeling when you take control of your weight.0
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When I got those types of comments or questions, I usually came back with a sweet smile and an answer along the lines of "no trying to lose anymore weight, but I am trying to lower my body fat a little more" - usually shut 'em right up because they don't know what to do with that.
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AmyRhubarb wrote: »When I got those types of comments or questions, I usually came back with a sweet smile and an answer along the lines of "no trying to lose anymore weight, but I am trying to lower my body fat a little more" - usually shut 'em right up because they don't know what to do with that.
I like your thinking, I can't wait to see their faces when I say this ☺️0 -
i started at 387lb and am currently 219lb. i get the same people asking on the regular how much ive lost now, whats my current weight, when am i going to stop, surely im done losing now, why dont i relax and have a piece of cake etc
i just smile and say im not where i want to be yet and ill decide along with my medical team when im where i need to be and since im only 5ft 1 im not even close
congratulations on the iron man, fabulous accomplishment
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