Life after Death

Condolences to you and your children. What a tough road for each of you. You have my sympathy for feeling like the moral support from friends isn't there. Kids, even really young ones, can offer fantastic support, however! I did not believe it--"support is an appropriate role for parents, not children" was my thinking--until I actually had kids, and wow. They can tell when you're the slightest bit off, and their love is unconditional. I'm wondering, too, how a close friend would respond if you told her how much moral support for making healthy changes would mean to you. Sometimes you have to ask for exactly what you need.

It might seem overwhelming, but you can do it. It's the small changes done consistently that make the biggest difference in the end. Slow and steady wins the race. There is tons of fantastic advice in the threads, and a good place to start are the "most helpful posts" in the "general diet and weight loss" board. Focus on the things that make the biggest difference (eating the appropriate number of calories and accurately counting), and don't worry with minor details (meal timing & big vs. small meals are matters of preference unless your medical condition requires a particular regimen). Best of luck to you!

Very sorry for the loss of your husband. You will find a lot of support here on MFP to assist you in your weight loss journey. Best wishes!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know from experience when you are young and you lose one parent you suddenly realize how vulnerable you are and how easily you could lose the other parent. So I get where your seven year old is coming from. I lost my dad when I was fourteen. It's good that you made this decision to get healthy, for your own sake and for the sake of your children. You've come to the right place. You'll get a lot of support here.

My heart aches for you. I almost lost my husband two years ago, and my depression grew as well. I'd love to be a friend on here. We can push each other and inspire each other to do better

I can relate to you. I lost my three year old daughter in 2012. I use food as an escape for the pain some days. It's hard to see myself at this size. I'm a work in progress and everyday I'm trying to get better at knowing when I'm eating because I'm hungry or if I'm eating because I'm sad. It's a struggle but with some support and accountability I know it can be done.

I expect your son loves you very much and has a grasp of health related issues unlike many adults. Welcome and best wishes as you work to lower the stress your son is carrying about your well being.

sorry for your loss, feel free to add me if you like

My wife died in 2006. I would love to offer you love and support. I certainly believe that when we leave this world we go to our true home. I patiently await my home with hope!

I truly understand were you are coming from. I loss my husband April 2012. He was the love of my life. I also used food as a comfort, went into depression and gained an enormous amount of weight. December of last year I decided it was time to take charge of my life again. I joined MFP and have loss 76 lbs. so far. I still have another 70 lbs. to go. It's still a struggle to keep moving forward, but I am determined to do so. If you need someone to talk to and share recipes with please feel free to add me. The more support you have the easier it is. Stay strong and continue to move forward 1 step at a time.

meblu3u wrote: »

Hello Everyone my name is Rose after being married for 17 years my husband passed away. I started to eat more and some depression. I have always been a bigger woman and my son said to me Mom I don't want you to Die and that's when I asked what do you mean my son is 7 I also have a 8 and 11 year old. Needless to say my 7 year old continues to say mom with you being fat you can die. Is my son trying to tell me something or was he scared after losing his father so I decided to do this Journey on my own my friends tell me your fine. I have a health condition called POTS it's a heart condition that I need to maintain take in 3300 mg of salt to keep everything working properly. I started working hard at making changes to my diet as well as walking exercises and such. Feel like the struggles are so overwhelming the moral support from friends aren't there so I hope that others on a mission to help themselves like I am can understand the struggles we feel and give advice how to deal with them. So that's my life.

I'm so sorry for your loss! Your son is likely just parroting something he's picked up in the news about obesity and his anxiety is causing him to speak up. Seeing you making positive strides should hopefully calm him.

Your friends telling you "you're fine" when you have 120 pounds to lose--I would stop discussing the issue with them, to be honest. They're not going to have anything positive to say. I didn't discuss my weight loss with anyone offline because they kept telling me I should stop losing when I was still overweight. There are some people who are jealous or who view your weight loss as a personal attack, in my experience.

Good luck. You got this.

ps You don't have to respond to every single post if you don't want.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you have experienced.

You have a strong motivation and drive for making changes. You've come to a supportive place. I wish you all the success, health, and healing you're looking for.