What would you say to my 18 year old ?

I'd tell her to get weight lifting and change her shape that way. She can't guarantee she'll get curves where she wants them by over-eating. More likely she'll just end up with a fat stomach! Also, she should be doing it for herself, not to find a boyfriend.

I'm glad my daughters are only 4 and 1

You said it yourself, teenagers are stubborn. If you fight her on this and tell her that she will only end up with a big stomach, she'll push back harder. Try to encourage some strength training and look together to find information on how to make this more successful for her.

Weight training is going to be the best option. If she wants curves, she has a great blank canvas for it! As we all know, needing to lose weight sucks. Since she is naturally slim, she has a great base to create curves and sculpt her body into the shape she wants.

While overeating may seem like the solution in her mind, offering her better alternatives (maybe offer to get her a trainer, if you can?) will benefit her in the long run. Even if eating too much doesn't make her become overweight, it can lead to health concerns later on if she continues with bad habits.

Be honest with her. Genetics run in the family. Most females have their mother's shape, so if you ain't got the hips, she may not have them either.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I'm going to second the "strong curves" program suggestion. I've never done it, but have heard good things about it. The main reason I'm suggesting it is because it would be a good way to introduce her to strength training and she might go with it because it has the word "curves" in it.

hupsii wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Be honest with her. Genetics run in the family. Most females have their mother's shape, so if you ain't got the hips, she may not have them either.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

actually she is like her father - naturally slim and personally, I think she has a great body and just don't understand how she can not be happy with it, especially when I think about all the struggles I had with being overweight

Well because she's 18 and more than likely inundated with social media's acceptance of people like Kim K. Regardless of the person, almost everyone has something physically they'd like to change about their appearance. Thing is, she's an adult, and like most she may have do what she wants to do and learn from it. Teens don't want to listen to what may be right. They want to achieve what their idols have done.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

What??? Jesus, teenagers... Massive GRRR at Kim K and other celebrities for lying about plastic surgery And GRRRRRR at the whole industry for doing this to women and putting these expectations into boys' and girls' heads

Maybe try to poke some holes in her logic. Show her stuff about exactly how the celebrities she admires have achieved those bodies ($$$ and surgery and PhotoShop).

Also, if she thinks overeating is going to give her boobs and a bum, and leave her waist and everything else unaffected, she is going to be in for a surprise. Are there woman in your family (e.g. aunt, grandmother) with her body type? What do they look like when they gain? Maybe show her some pics of them at higher BMIs.

Oh right but KK says her waist is slim due to nonsurgical methods like that idiotic waist training. ffs. GRRR, KK, GRRR.

I suggest she go out on some dates with her father. They can dress it up if they like, a fancy dinner, the whole nine yards. I swear teen girls get their sense of worth from their fathers, and unfortunately, mothers get relegated to "rival". Dad can tell her that she's a princess and she doesn't need to change her body shape to be attractive or worthy of boy attention.

My dad went through a beard phase in the seventies, go figure. All the female protests (three women in the household) failed to make him shave it off. Then one day I told him I was coming to like it. The grey streaks made him look "distinguished". The beard was gone the next day.

hupsii wrote: »

actually she is like her father - naturally slim and personally, I think she has a great body and just don't understand how she can not be happy with it, especially when I think about all the struggles I had with being overweight

When I was 18 I weighed 100 lbs (5'4" tall). I had always been thin but did not like my body. I was uncomfortable physically. I was often cold. People made rude and hurtful comments about how thin I was all the time. It was embarrassing. A few years later I was closer to the middle of the healthy weight range and I felt so much better.
It is your dd's body not yours. Just because you think she looks great doesn't mean that is how she feels.
I would listen to your dd. Discuss that there is a healthy weight range for her height. She might feel that she looks better toward the middle or upper end of that range. Help her figure out the appropriate calories for that weight range, her activity level and nutritious foods and exercises to help her get there.

It really should be about the best possible health and well-being of your daughter. I've been told I look good at 200 pounds, but I don't feel good. I feel miserable. I prefer to be thinner than that. If she's not overweight, I don't see the problem, and you should definitely not be projecting your anxiety on to her. Your failure to maintain a healthy weight is your problem and not hers.

HOWEVER...

If a woman wants "curvy," then the best suggestion I can make is "don't forget the squats." One does not eat one's way into curves. Curves are curves, they go in and out.

Are you sure her justification of over-eating in order to be curvy is the real reason and isn't an emotional cover up? (Just a thought)

On to your actual question...

I would suggest you Google images of different women's bodies together. You know, celebrities are a good starting point, then move to women who lift, like Jamie Eason or Jillian Michaels. That way you can both be on the same page when you think "curvy".

Once she has identified the body she aspires to, help her find the training programme that will support that goal.

It was only when I joined mfp and saw women post pics of their body after they started weightlifting that I realised that was what I wanted and that I wouldn't get it just by dieting...I had to do the right exercise too.

She is 18, tell her to join MFP and get acquainted with the gains forum.