I'm feeling down and wanting to Quit

Yesterday I Weighed myself again on 3 Different Scales and i did indeed gain 6 pounds from eating healthy but i have to admit i wasn't weighing my food I am trying so hard and I'm proud of my Husband but he's eating not even 1200 calories on most days and he just lost 10 pounds. I think i need to be more active
I am going to drop my Calories down to 1200 My BMR is around 1700-1800
And i hear i need to stay in that range of eating I just think maybe I'm eating way too much I just want to see Results like he's seeing :( It's hard when he's eating 2 times a day and losing and he tells me I'm eating way too much and to eat 1200 Is he going about this all wrong?
Or am i going about this all wrong should i eat 1200 and see where that gets me any help or suggestions will help thanks
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Replies

  • sheldonklein
    sheldonklein Posts: 854 Member
    Weigh everything. Choose a realistic goal. Eat the number of accurately measured calories MFP gives you for that goal. Don't compare yourself to your husband.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Why not eat at the allowance MFP gives you and start weighing your food? As for your husband, he's not eating enough for a male, so I wouldn't compare yourself to that, as its unhealthy. YOU, however have this and are choosing to do it in a sustainable healthy way, so KUDOS woman!
  • althea5883
    althea5883 Posts: 40 Member
    I agree, he's not eating enough and he's going to burn out. It's a lifestyle change and something you need to realistically be able to do. I would stay within what mfp tells you and make sure to measure your food.
  • 50andfabu
    50andfabu Posts: 112 Member
    I can relate to you, but neither one of us should quit. (I just came off of a bad 24 hours.) If you want to lose weight, you do have to eat at a deficit. 1200 seems to be this magic number everyone uses, but you might lose on 1300 or 1450. It seems that if you are gaining you will have to cut calories.

    Things that I am trying:
    1. log everything every day! This is effective and you learn about calories, sodium, what keeps you satiated, etc.
    2. regular daily activity counts. I helped with a garage sale yesterday and I think I burned more calories walking around and moving things than if I went to the gym. (I am going to the gym today).
    3. Men seem to lose faster than women anyway. Don't compare yourself. Your husband will probably not be able to sustain 1200 calories very long. It seems low for a ma.
    4. Don't give up. If you give up you'll never get where you want to be. IF you say, hey, it's a setback, I'll regroup and get back to counting calories you will eventually reach your goal. Just about everyone who succeeds has had setbacks.

    Good luck to you but don't give up!!!
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited August 2015
    What your husband is doing is ridiculous, unsafe and unhealthy. It's not something you should want to emulate, despite the fact that he's lost 10 lbs.

    You say you're not weighing your food. That's your problem. Weigh everything, log everything. Stop messing with your calories. Put your info into MFP and eat what it tells you to eat.
  • rwhyte12
    rwhyte12 Posts: 204 Member
    Here are some changes I made to my diet. Maybe they will help you.
    I lowered the carbs I eat to 100 grams a day. It's flexible but that's my aim.
    I increased my fat grams up to about 55 to 80 grams a day. In doing this, I changed my primary fat to olive oil as told by a dietician.
    I exercise six days a week swimming. An hour of swimming is a lot of calories burned.
    I axed my sugar right down to the minimum.
    I added Whey Protein and drink that at least one or two times a day. I'm into Strawberry flavour currently.
    For snacks, I have mixed seeds.
    If I look at all of the above, I can't necessarily pinpoint one thing. It all goes together but the change to olive oil has been positive.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    Eating healthy, however you define that, isn't going to make you lose weight. Eating in a calorie deficit will. Weigh your food and be honest about how much you're eating, then go from there.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    50andfabu wrote: »
    I can relate to you, but neither one of us should quit. (I just came off of a bad 24 hours.) If you want to lose weight, you do have to eat at a deficit. 1200 seems to be this magic number everyone uses, but you might lose on 1300 or 1450. It seems that if you are gaining you will have to cut calories.

    Things that I am trying:
    1. log everything every day! This is effective and you learn about calories, sodium, what keeps you satiated, etc.
    2. regular daily activity counts. I helped with a garage sale yesterday and I think I burned more calories walking around and moving things than if I went to the gym. (I am going to the gym today).
    3. Men seem to lose faster than women anyway. Don't compare yourself. Your husband will probably not be able to sustain 1200 calories very long. It seems low for a ma.
    4. Don't give up. If you give up you'll never get where you want to be. IF you say, hey, it's a setback, I'll regroup and get back to counting calories you will eventually reach your goal. Just about everyone who succeeds has had setbacks.

    Good luck to you but don't give up!!!

    Thank you so much don't get me wrong he's in the 300's so i am proud of him i just can't believe how fast he lost and he's telling me do it my way I'm obviously losing so it makes me feel defeated and I do want to give up thanks so much for the Advice and I will try to keep going
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    Yesterday I Weighed myself again on 3 Different Scales and i did indeed gain 6 pounds from eating healthy but i have to admit i wasn't weighing my food I am trying so hard and I'm proud of my Husband but he's eating not even 1200 calories on most days and he just lost 10 pounds. I think i need to be more active
    I am going to drop my Calories down to 1200 My BMR is around 1700-1800
    And i hear i need to stay in that range of eating I just think maybe I'm eating way too much I just want to see Results like he's seeing :( It's hard when he's eating 2 times a day and losing and he tells me I'm eating way too much and to eat 1200 Is he going about this all wrong?
    Or am i going about this all wrong should i eat 1200 and see where that gets me any help or suggestions will help thanks

    Eating healthy and weight loss are two different things. Better food choices to get more nutrients is something you should do for your health. Eating less calories is what you do to lose weight.
    You did not gain eating 1700 calories, so there is probably no need to aim for 1200, unless you are extremely short and sedentary. Set a realistic weight loss goal and let MFP figure out how much you need to eat. Start counting calories and you will be surprised. What you think is 1700 calories could easily be 3000.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    How many carbs should i be eating a day? I somehow go over on my carbs and sugar every day and i am eating healthy
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    How many carbs should i be eating a day? I somehow go over on my carbs and sugar every day and i am eating healthy

    Unless your dr has asked you to control carbs for health reasons, it does not matter. You gain/lose weight because you are eating too many/little calories, not carbs.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    50andfabu wrote: »
    I can relate to you, but neither one of us should quit. (I just came off of a bad 24 hours.) If you want to lose weight, you do have to eat at a deficit. 1200 seems to be this magic number everyone uses, but you might lose on 1300 or 1450. It seems that if you are gaining you will have to cut calories.

    Things that I am trying:
    1. log everything every day! This is effective and you learn about calories, sodium, what keeps you satiated, etc.
    2. regular daily activity counts. I helped with a garage sale yesterday and I think I burned more calories walking around and moving things than if I went to the gym. (I am going to the gym today).
    3. Men seem to lose faster than women anyway. Don't compare yourself. Your husband will probably not be able to sustain 1200 calories very long. It seems low for a ma.
    4. Don't give up. If you give up you'll never get where you want to be. IF you say, hey, it's a setback, I'll regroup and get back to counting calories you will eventually reach your goal. Just about everyone who succeeds has had setbacks.

    Good luck to you but don't give up!!!

    Thank you so much don't get me wrong he's in the 300's so i am proud of him i just can't believe how fast he lost and he's telling me do it my way I'm obviously losing so it makes me feel defeated and I do want to give up thanks so much for the Advice and I will try to keep going

    He weighs in the 300s and some days he doesn't even eat 1200 calories? That's crazy. I'm sure there are many reasons why you should be proud of your husband, but this behavior isn't one of them.

  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    aggelikik wrote: »
    Yesterday I Weighed myself again on 3 Different Scales and i did indeed gain 6 pounds from eating healthy but i have to admit i wasn't weighing my food I am trying so hard and I'm proud of my Husband but he's eating not even 1200 calories on most days and he just lost 10 pounds. I think i need to be more active
    I am going to drop my Calories down to 1200 My BMR is around 1700-1800
    And i hear i need to stay in that range of eating I just think maybe I'm eating way too much I just want to see Results like he's seeing :( It's hard when he's eating 2 times a day and losing and he tells me I'm eating way too much and to eat 1200 Is he going about this all wrong?
    Or am i going about this all wrong should i eat 1200 and see where that gets me any help or suggestions will help thanks

    Eating healthy and weight loss are two different things. Better food choices to get more nutrients is something you should do for your health. Eating less calories is what you do to lose weight.
    You did not gain eating 1700 calories, so there is probably no need to aim for 1200, unless you are extremely short and sedentary. Set a realistic weight loss goal and let MFP figure out how much you need to eat. Start counting calories and you will be surprised. What you think is 1700 calories could easily be 3000.

    I am 5'3 and I would say i am Sedentary I hardly exercise when i walk my boys to the park i am so tired and all red in the face i feel i will die just from walking I was getting 1420 On MFP I think i will move back up to that I know all of you know what your talking about I am new to all of this and the Advice truly helps me thanks again :)
  • MommyL2015
    MommyL2015 Posts: 1,411 Member
    My advice would be not to worry about the macros right now and simply worry about getting your calories measured accurately. Once you get good numbers and start to see loss, then you can change up your carbs and protein and all that to what you want.

    I've got a good hang of it and I still don't worry about the macros. I try to hit my protein but that's all I really care about. I'm losing weight, I'm healthy, so that's all good for me.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    How many carbs should i be eating a day? I somehow go over on my carbs and sugar every day and i am eating healthy

    Honestly, I don't get too concerned with my macros. I focus more on my caloric intake. Almost 40 lbs gone.

    But what do I know?
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
    First of all, do not compare yourself to your husband. Everyone's journey will be different. My husband lost 10 lbs in just over 3 weeks by cutting out soda. I lost nothing!

    Secondly, your husband is not eating enough for a male. He is going to lose muscle and not just fat, plus he is not going to get the nutrients that his body needs.

    What was the calorie goal that mfp set for you? I would use that and see how you do. Weigh all of your food, you could be eating more calories than you think.

    Log everything that you put into your mouth! Littles bits of food here and there can add up.
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
    In the beginning, it can be overwhelming because there's so many things to learn. Just do baby steps. Start with logging, you did. Don't worrya bout macros yet, just keep working on logging accurately. Get a food scale and start weighing your food, you'll be surprised how much of a difference it makes.

    Also, try to avoid comparing yourself to your husband. There's a lot that can be said about his quick lost that's already been said but also at the end of the day, you're different and will have different things that work for each of you. Support him, but also focus on yourself.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    50andfabu wrote: »
    I can relate to you, but neither one of us should quit. (I just came off of a bad 24 hours.) If you want to lose weight, you do have to eat at a deficit. 1200 seems to be this magic number everyone uses, but you might lose on 1300 or 1450. It seems that if you are gaining you will have to cut calories.

    Things that I am trying:
    1. log everything every day! This is effective and you learn about calories, sodium, what keeps you satiated, etc.
    2. regular daily activity counts. I helped with a garage sale yesterday and I think I burned more calories walking around and moving things than if I went to the gym. (I am going to the gym today).
    3. Men seem to lose faster than women anyway. Don't compare yourself. Your husband will probably not be able to sustain 1200 calories very long. It seems low for a ma.
    4. Don't give up. If you give up you'll never get where you want to be. IF you say, hey, it's a setback, I'll regroup and get back to counting calories you will eventually reach your goal. Just about everyone who succeeds has had setbacks.

    Good luck to you but don't give up!!!

    Thank you so much don't get me wrong he's in the 300's so i am proud of him i just can't believe how fast he lost and he's telling me do it my way I'm obviously losing so it makes me feel defeated and I do want to give up thanks so much for the Advice and I will try to keep going

    He weighs in the 300s and some days he doesn't even eat 1200 calories? That's crazy. I'm sure there are many reasons why you should be proud of your husband, but this behavior isn't one of them.

    I am telling him he needs to eat somewhere near the 1800-2000 mark since he's a male and i tell him i think he's losing muscle and he says he's obviously losing and let him do it his way but i am worried about him but then again he is seeing results so that's why i wanted to ask you guys what ya'll thought before i started a diet like this But i am truly proud of him for losing just not in this way.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    In the beginning, it can be overwhelming because there's so many things to learn. Just do baby steps. Start with logging, you did. Don't worrya bout macros yet, just keep working on logging accurately. Get a food scale and start weighing your food, you'll be surprised how much of a difference it makes.

    Also, try to avoid comparing yourself to your husband. There's a lot that can be said about his quick lost that's already been said but also at the end of the day, you're different and will have different things that work for each of you. Support him, but also focus on yourself.

    I truly am proud of him and support him but i am a little jealous :/ lol But I will do what MFP has set for me I sat my goal at a 2 pound week loss and have lost nothing It makes me upset I started this almost a month ago i am going to get a food scale as soon as i get paid and go from there thanks again for all the help
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    The minimum number of calories that MFP recommends for a man is 1500. You can't force your husband to change his behavior, but that doesn't mean you have to encourage it.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    choppie70 wrote: »
    First of all, do not compare yourself to your husband. Everyone's journey will be different. My husband lost 10 lbs in just over 3 weeks by cutting out soda. I lost nothing!

    Secondly, your husband is not eating enough for a male. He is going to lose muscle and not just fat, plus he is not going to get the nutrients that his body needs.

    What was the calorie goal that mfp set for you? I would use that and see how you do. Weigh all of your food, you could be eating more calories than you think.

    Log everything that you put into your mouth! Littles bits of food here and there can add up.

    I sat my weight loss goal at 2 pounds a week so It's at 1200 right now but i if i move it down to 1.5 weight loss i will get 1420
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    The minimum number of calories that MFP recommends for a man is 1500. You can't force your husband to change his behavior, but that doesn't mean you have to encourage it.

    I don't Encourage it I will warn him again but he is going to do what he wants in the end I am going to just focus on my self for now I know his weight loss will come to a stall soon enough Men are so stubborn lol
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited August 2015
    You can set your calories for zero or for a million. If you're not weighing your food, it won't matter.

    Again: input your stats into MFP. Go with the numbers they give you. Then: WEIGH ALL YOUR FOOD AND LOG IT HONESTLY.

    That's it.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    You can set your calories for zero or for a million. If you're not weighing your food, it won't matter.

    Again: input your stats into MFP. Go with the numbers they give you. Then: WEIGH ALL YOUR FOOD AND LOG IT HONESTLY.

    That's it.

    I will take your Advice and use it thanks so much for everything you truly have helped me understand I am going to get a food scale as soon as i get paid thanks again :)
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    The minimum number of calories that MFP recommends for a man is 1500. You can't force your husband to change his behavior, but that doesn't mean you have to encourage it.

    I don't Encourage it I will warn him again but he is going to do what he wants in the end I am going to just focus on my self for now I know his weight loss will come to a stall soon enough Men are so stubborn lol
    If he's in the 300s, the only reason his weight loss might stall is if he started eating more. If he's in his 300s, unless he's 8 feet tall, he can get probably get more than 3000 calories a day from stored fat alone. The problem for him at 1200 is getting enough vitamins and minerals, not calories per se.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Don't compare your progress with your husband's, or anyone else's for that matter.

    Don't worry about adjusting calories right now. Your main focus should be on weighing your food and logging accurately.

    You got a lot of good advice on your other thread a few days ago. Follow that and be a little patient. It also might be a good idea to stay off of the scale for a week or two while you work on tightening up your logging.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    In the beginning, it can be overwhelming because there's so many things to learn. Just do baby steps. Start with logging, you did. Don't worrya bout macros yet, just keep working on logging accurately. Get a food scale and start weighing your food, you'll be surprised how much of a difference it makes.

    Also, try to avoid comparing yourself to your husband. There's a lot that can be said about his quick lost that's already been said but also at the end of the day, you're different and will have different things that work for each of you. Support him, but also focus on yourself.

    It's hard not to compare when your both weighing yourselves at the same time lol and he starts bragging It made me feel like crap because we started this almost a month ago. So i was feeling so defeated last night but i feel better today and i'm glad it's a new day and i can try again
  • gaelicstorm26
    gaelicstorm26 Posts: 589 Member
    I'm so glad you're going to start weighing and logging food accurately! That's the key to weight loss. Like others, I'm concerned about how little your husband is eating. It's not enough for a male.

    I don't know how much weight you have to lose so our calorie goals are going to be different, but I'm losing consistently on 1,600 calories daily. The again, I might have much more weight to lose than you do. I just weigh and log everything (except water).
  • SaffronSunrise
    SaffronSunrise Posts: 182 Member
    Weighing your food will change the whole game. Digital food scales aren't expensive and can be found at Walmart, Target, Amazon...so many places. Weighing everything took me a little longer in the beginning, but it's almost second nature to me now. I'm also washing a whole lot fewer dishes because I don't use measuring cups or spoons.

    I just checked your diary and you really do need to start logging everything. MFP is giving you 1450 calories so you stick with that number (provided that everything is entered correctly. If your husband isn't weighing anything, he's probably eating more than 1200 (he should be, anyway) but he can eat more and still stay in a deficit because of his current weight, height, and just because he's a male.
  • michelleselmon
    michelleselmon Posts: 90 Member
    how much working out should i do to lose 2 pounds a week? will jumping roping and walking 2-3 miles 6 days a week be enough to lose 2 pounds a week?