Weight loss -awkward subject?
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This is exactly why I don't comment on people's weight. Losing weight isn't always a good thing. Maybe they're not intentionally losing weight and have an illness. Someone I know lost a lot of weight during a period of grief and wasn't looking after herself. People would gush at her all the time about how much weight she'd lost. It was uncomfortable for her because it was associated with such emotional pain. And as previous posters have mentioned, even if the loss is intentional for some people it's emotionally complex, private or embarrassing.
I'll tell people that they're looking well, in the same way that I comment if someone's dress is a gorgeous colour on them. If I know that someone is trying to lose weight, bulk/cut or get fit then I'll comment positively if I notice but that's only if they have initiated the topic.0 -
It depends on the amount of weight lost. To me it's more awkward if people try not to mention it because they give funny looks trying to bite their tongue (or I imagine they do).
I've lost about 96 pounds, it's as noticeable as if I'd died my hair bright pink; if someone hasn't seen me in that time they give a quick comment, I give a vague reply on the methods and we're off discussing something else. Mildly uncomfortable, but less than then trying not to mention it.
If someone asks for more info to improve themselves, I feel honored to try to help then on their journey. And if someone is a true friend, notices me eating better, and asks me how it's going I accept that as their taking interest in my life.
To another's point, I do prefer people not just blurt it out in a large meeting/group setting. Unfortunately, some people don't understand how that could be embarrassing.0 -
People have to notice with me because I quite often walk into the office with 'guess how much weight I've lost this week?' - but that's because I'm proud that my hard work is paying off. If it makes you uncomfortable however, as others have said, I would just casually change the subject.
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »You are being too sensitive.
This is one of those things that you just have to figure out. In the grand scheme of things, it really is not a big challenge.
People notice other people's bodies. It's reality, whether you like it or not.
THIS.
As I've started losing and people started commenting it makes you realise how much people notice things like body weight change so quickly. At first I hated it, but then very quickly got over and it and now couldn't care less.
It's all positive attention anyway. I normally give a witty answer to how I'm achieving it, or bore them with my life for the last 8 weeks.
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I would take people noticing my weight loss as a compliment and can't wait for people to fuss over me. Only lost 4lbs so far but the other day my o/h half said ' hey your tits have overtaken your gut already' lol0
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Yes I feel like this and I hate it
it's something that can't be avoided though I've found, I just laugh it off when people make comments. If they ask questions, I will tell the truth, but if people don't ask I just keep it to myself. Only 2 people have actually asked how much I've lost, and those are the only two that know, apart from MFP friends.
I just have very little confidence, hate people paying attention to me. I'm hoping once I'm closer to my target I'll have more confidence but I'm Half way there nearly and not anymore confident than I was!0 -
Recently I went to a party and ran into another couple I haven't seen in years. The first thing out of the guys mouth was "hey! You've lost a s--- ton of weight!" I don't care that he noticed but I didn't really care for the announcement. Made me feel super awkward.
How is that awkward? I'd be like "Hell yeah I did. It's awesome."0 -
I guess I am the opposite!
I went back to work yesterday after the summer off. I have lost 21 lbs since June 21. I was excited to have someone say something about my weight loss. No one said anything! I got about 8 comments about my new hair cut - it is the exact same cut and color I have had for over 5 years. 0 -
I guess I am the opposite!
I went back to work yesterday after the summer off. I have lost 21 lbs since June 21. I was excited to have someone say something about my weight loss. No one said anything! I got about 8 comments about my new hair cut - it is the exact same cut and color I have had for over 5 years.
They could know some don't like it when you notice, and not wanted to comment.
Or maybe commenting on hair is code for I notice you look good, but don't know how to say it/can't put my finger on it.0 -
I like talking about my weight loss, because I am proud of all the hard work I have been putting in to myself to be a healthier me. I have given many friends on here inspiration to continue on their lifestyle goals as well as family and friends offline. If you don't feel comfortable talking about simply direct the conversation to a different topic.0
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Ready2Rock206 wrote: »When someone comments and says I've lost weight I just smile and say "thanks, just a little" and move the subject on to something else. I think it is a horrible topic and don't understand how people think it is an appropriate thing to bring up but they do. But then I see tons of posts on here where people are mad no one is talking about their weight so they are probably hanging around people like me who would never bring it up and I'm surrounded by people like them who only want to talk about it!
This is exactly how I feel. When people comment on/compliment your weight loss they are almost always intending for it to be positive but I still find it to be an incredibly awkward topic. When I was first losing weight I enjoyed it more, maybe because it was early and I needed the outside validation, but over the years I got to a point where I'd just as well it not be a topic of conversation. I rarely mention someone else's weight or weight loss either for this reason. I think saying something more generic like "you look great!" still makes them feel good without making it about weight.
But, since it will inevitably happen, just thank them and change the topic.0 -
OP: While I love hearing people say, "Have you lost weight? You look great!" a very, very, very small part of me thinks,"So I was fat and looked like crap before?"
However...
Would you rather be fat? Would you rather be unhealthy and physically uncomfortable and unhappy with yourself, just you don't have to listen to people.....pay you a compliment?
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OP you are being rather oversensitive. Crazy thinking from you. If you have lost weight and thats what your aim was its a good thing. You cnat really expect people not to comment, but if you dont wnat to talk about it then find a way of just smiling and talking about something else. You should really understand abd embrace all the positive change. It comes with the territory.0
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I guess I am the opposite!
I went back to work yesterday after the summer off. I have lost 21 lbs since June 21. I was excited to have someone say something about my weight loss. No one said anything! I got about 8 comments about my new hair cut - it is the exact same cut and color I have had for over 5 years.
Herein lies the problem of other people, those would be commenters or non commenters.
Some people are upset that people comment, however positively, on their weight loss; others are upset that nobody seems to notice.
So hard to know which group the would be receiver of comment will be in.
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People have to notice with me because I quite often walk into the office with 'guess how much weight I've lost this week?' - but that's because I'm proud that my hard work is paying off. If it makes you uncomfortable however, as others have said, I would just casually change the subject.
Not quite sure if you are joking
I must admit I would get fed up with someone who wants me to guess how much weight they have lost every week..
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Weight loss isn't something you should be ashamed of. You should be proud you're taking the steps to change your life and you're doing it! I know I feel proud and don't care what other people think. I'm putting in all the hard work to get the results I want and I know it's no laughing matter. People are going to tell you you look great. Smile about it and just keep going.0
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I think people are often kind of in awe about someone who is making positive health changes. Not everyone does that! So they see you taking control and making progress, and they get all excited about it... hence the blurt.
But I kind of love it when it happens! I don't talk about dieting, really, but I do have a lot of friends I talk food and healthy eating with, and everyone knows I've been rocking my Fitbit for a while now. I don't mind a little, "daaaaaaaaaang, you're doing AWESOME" when I just put on a pair of jeans I haven't worn in three years.0 -
I cleaned up this discussion a bit, parts of it were going rather off topic. Carry on - nicely please.0
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Just say you prefer not to talk about it. If they persist, ask them why they are being so rude. That usually shuts them up.0
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I hate getting comments/questions like that too. I know it is meant to be a compliment, but when someone tells me look "so good," in the back of my mind all I can think is "So you thought I looked awful before?" I feel much more positive when I get comments about the strength I've gained. Or, better yet, don't comment on my body at all.0
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I'm down a smidgen under 70 pounds since Valentines Day. This happens to me a LOT. I'm with Boogie... If it's a new person and they ask I'm usually flattered and give them the diet + exercise answer... But some people (co workers, people I see @ the gym) comment *constantly*... I totally get where you're coming from... If you're not comfortable responding just be polite and move on... Don't let anyone tell you how to FEEL! 0
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You can't stop them noticing, and maybe complimenting (in ways you may or may not see as a compliment), unfortunately. My main conversational tactic when I don't want to discuss it is something like "Thanks! I figure eating habits are really kind of a bore to talk about, aren't they?" then change the subject.0
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I'm a little confused- What do you think will happen if they comment that you've lost weight or ask about your dieting? I think it's admirable to try to be healthy. Say "thank you" and then change the subject if you don't want to talk about it.0
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I personally don't mind, though I can see how some people would. I mean, a comment above was something thinking 'you thought i was fat and ugly before?' and I can see that. I know I was fat, though, and when someone notices that I've lost the weight, it basically validates all my hard work getting to that point. However, I don't discuss it unless they ask how I did and go from there. If even talking about it bothers you and someone comments, just say "Yes I have, thanks." and change the subject. They probably don't mean anything beyond paying you a compliment or being nice. Saying Thanks acknowledges that, and changing the subject moves the conversation into a more comfortable place for you. You don't HAVE to discuss it with anyone if you don't want to, and most people take that hint.0
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Sounds a lot like people need to stop turning compliments into back handed insults in their head.
When someone says "you look good" it means you look good, not that you looked like a hideous monster previously.0 -
suziecue20 wrote: »I would take people noticing my weight loss as a compliment and can't wait for people to fuss over me. Only lost 4lbs so far but the other day my o/h half said ' hey your tits have overtaken your gut already' lol
LOL...round here that's a compliment too!0 -
Sounds a lot like people need to stop turning compliments into back handed insults in their head.
When someone says "you look good" it means you look good, not that you looked like a hideous monster previously.
Exactly!!! Feel good about yourself if people are noticing enough to say something!0 -
Domicinator wrote: »I learned to enjoy the positive attention over time. Eventually it will be your new normal and nobody will notice anymore.
What I hate is people telling me to stop and trying to shove food down my throat. I've lost 50 lbs and look drastically different than I used to, but I'm still not in the normal weight range for my height. I have a lot of belly fat that still needs to go...about 25 more lbs worth to be exact. Yet some people are actively encouraging me to stop. That's what I find most frustrating.
This ^
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No. I'm comfortable with my body. Was I fat before? Yes. Did people notice? Yes. Am I less fat now? You bet.0
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One of the reasons people ask is because they see how well you have done and they may need tips. Use your opportunity to help the people that may be struggling to achieve their goals.0
This discussion has been closed.
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