IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME PART 2- WITH DISCLAIMER

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schaapj2
schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
in Motivation and Support
Before I get started and before YOU post please read the following disclaimer:

Anything you post on THIS or ANY OTHER blog is searchable on the internet and can be found by any person accessing the world wide web.

This thread was deleted last night because some people bravely put themselves out there, but then felt ashamed or unhappy about what they posted so it was deleted.

*****PLEASE BE AWARE THAT IN THIS THREAD WHAT YOU SAY WILL BE PERMANENT AND VISIBLE TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

With that being said, I want to say that I love you all for your support last night, your outpouring of secrets, and your bravery and courage for making some very difficult decisions about sharing your own. Given that I seem to have started the bit of a dark bent in the thread, it seemed only fitting that I begin it anew. Thank you to all the beautiful men and women who have added me as a friend...and to any more who wish to do so, and for any reason at all.

My weight loss and health is a direct result of the choices I've made and events that have shaped what I do and think. I would like this post to offer catharsis for those who need it, an opportunity for anyone from any walk of life to share anything about themselves no matter how deep or dark. I want the pain and struggle in our lives to give us courage instead of making us feel ashamed. I am taking back my life with every step toward being healthy and every pound shed. I am not letting the awfulness of my past dictate my happiness in the future. For those who post, I hope this allows them to feel the same!

After all, this site is about support and finding support on our goal to be healthy.....but truly, how can you support those who you really do not know? So in an effort to really get to know you all and for you to truly know me, I start.....




If you really knew me......you would know that I save animals because I am afraid I cannot save myself.
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Replies

  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
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    If you really knew me, you would know that I have changed my body to what I want, but I hate that I can't change my face.
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
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    I applaude you for putting yourself out there. I sincerely hope that this thread does not get deleted as your previous one did and that people find their voice to express themselves without fear or reservation. I don't have a dark secret or horrible tragic past. I am fat because my mother put me on the diets she was on even though (looking back at the pictures) I was actually thin - so I ate as much as I could when I was away from her - not the best relationship to have with food. It has taken me a long time to deal with the fact that her food issues turned into my food issues.

    If you really knew me - you would know that I put up a brave and boisterous front to hide my shyness and insecurites.
  • Ahzuri
    Ahzuri Posts: 272 Member
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    If you really knew me you would know that I am clinically depressed, have suffered from it since puberty and was really good at hiding it because I felt like I would be a burden on anyone I told. Thankfully I took my fate into my own hands instead of believing this is just how it is and got help about a month ago, pretty sure the depression was one of the contributing factors to my obesity.
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
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    If you really knew me--you'd know that although I'm not super skinny like I used to be, I've had EDNOS behaviors pretty much my entire life. Which is part of why I love this site. It allows me to obsess over controlling what I eat as much as I want.
  • fitmom4ever
    fitmom4ever Posts: 130
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    Thank you for bringing this thread back to life. There were many tears shed and much healing experienced last night, and it would be wonderful for it to continue. I was so saddened earlier to realize that some people are afraid of the judgement that could be passed on them for sharing their stories of abuse. Is it not bad enough that there are people in this world that take pleasure in abusing others, but now victims need to fear being judged for having suffered through something that was no fault of thier own? Please, let us keep this thread about encouragement, empowerment, and healing, and keep the judgements out!

    If you really knew me you would know that my daughter saved my life in countless ways, and I would never be who I am today if it weren't for the strength that she inspired within me, and continues to inspire me daily. Gonna go hug my kids now and thank God that I was blessed with them.
  • AbbyCar
    AbbyCar Posts: 198 Member
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    If you really knew me...you would know that I've thought I was fat since the age of eight because an uncle jokingly nicknamed me Chubs. I held a lot of bitterness towards him, wondering how an adult could do that to a child, when it visibly upset them( I would cry when he called me that). It wasn't until the last year or so that I realized he was only15 or 16 years old at the time and far from being an adult. I then realized that I had let a stupid, punky teenager's comments shape a large part of who I am today and how I perceive myself! So silly!
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    If you really knew me, u would know that i hide my low self esteem behind my sense of humor. but behind the smile, i cry....ALOT!
  • schaapj2
    schaapj2 Posts: 320 Member
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    On a more positive note let me say:

    If you really knew me....you would know that my experiences with death, men, and and food have only strengthened my resolve to take back my life. I am stronger and more capable than I have ever realized until this very moment.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    If you really knew me..........you would know that my mind stopped growing at the age of 12.......stuck in the past of abuse that held me in chains for years, until I finally broke free to become the being that I am now......
  • Ashleypeterson37
    Ashleypeterson37 Posts: 347 Member
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    If you really knew me, you would know that I struggled with an eating disorder my last two years of high school and that my husband (we married at age 18) is the person who save my life of dying from it! I owe him the world! If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be alive, have my amazing daughter or anything. Ya, I'm way over-weight now but I know this can be done the healthy way! Yay for food! :D
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    If you really knew me, you would know that I tend to take the path of least resistance and rely heavily on my wife to help me do the right thing.
  • TheNewLK
    TheNewLK Posts: 933 Member
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    You would know that Im haunted.....

    I put on a brave face when im really hurting inside.

    Im terribly insecure

    that i feel like a failure cos no matter how hard I try the cycle with my ED wont stop
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,332 Member
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    :flowerforyou:

    If you really knew me, you'd know that every trauma, decision, mistake and experience I've had thus far has shaped me into the person I am now. You'd know that I show strength and humor to everyone and vulnerability to very few. You'd know that I smile with my whole being, I laugh loud and I find as much joy in the simple things as I can. Daily.
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
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    You'd know that I show strength and humor to everyone and vulnerability to very few. You'd know that I smile with my whole being, I laugh loud and I find as much joy in the simple things as I can. Daily.

    Me too girl. We'd be good friends :)
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    If you really knew me, you'd know that I come from a dysfunctional family and it ashames me that I can't have a "normal" family life, I am afraid that anyone I meet will judge me on my family and how poorly we get along and how odd we all are, that I have fought depression that my whole family has had since I can remember and how I used to be a binge eater and am becoming entirely too possessive of what I eat to the point that 95% of people around me think I am over the top with my diet and I too will never be happy with my own face no matter how great my body looks.
  • stephaniezoundi
    stephaniezoundi Posts: 1,148 Member
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    If you really knew me you would know that I am a perfectionist (with everything but my weight) and that I have a deep seeded fear of disappointing everyone and in the same breath I expect that everyone thinks that at some point I will fail in my journey....

    If you really knew me you would know that I am petrified that my husband won't be allowed to join me in this country and that my years of unhealthyness have ruined our chances of having a baby and that I'm afriad to find out the answer to my own fertility questions.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    Ok...one more....

    if you really knew me....you would know that the abuse at 12 was not the first, but the first that I remember, for my mind was wise to block out most of my growing years.....its only lets in the good that was there......and I battle every day to make what I can see disappear....
  • JCubbins
    JCubbins Posts: 92
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    If you really knew me...
    You'd know that I was really close to falling into the world of eating disorders.
    You'd know that I used to cut.
    You'd know that under this strong, ironic and self-confident mask is teenage girl who's constantly worrying about her future and who cries during every single sad scene in every single movie that has ever been made.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
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    If you really knew me, you'd know I'm like a cat with 9 lives somehow cheating death several times.
  • HoLLyZ82
    HoLLyZ82 Posts: 467 Member
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    wow. love you all for your courage.

    if you really knew me then you would know that i have lost many in tragic ways, ive been in abusive relationships and grew up in one (not my real father for he moved to reno nevada when i was 2) ive always just kind of been on my own but it has shaped me and i am proud of who i have become. i try to see the light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dark. i will be the first to lift you up and then go cry in the shower from sadness.

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