How do you deal with unsolicited workout advice?
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As others have said, I'd just say (nicely) what you did here.
Personally, I'd say that you appreciate the advice/offer, but that for you part of the fun/motivation of working out is having private, low-stress, just for you time, and you prefer kind of muddling through and doing your own thing or figuring stuff out on your own currently and are really enjoying your own approach right now.0 -
Just to reiterate, having a structured strength training routine gets you real results, especially as a strength training beginner. In your position, isolating machines are wasting your time. Check out Stronglifts 5x5, you can do it solo and it will give you incredible strength and a better body composition than cardio and a random weight machine. Good luck!0
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If you don't want people to bother you at the gym, wear headphones. You don't even have to listen to music. For some reason, people are a lot less likely to interrupt you if you are wearing them.0
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Be objective and not subjective. While you may not want to work out with them, she actually gave you correct information.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
About the hip-adduction/abduction just working a small muscle group? Are you saying there are better machines to use for this or that you just don't get a good bang for your time buck?
A lot of what I do in the gym is to compliment my yoga practice (and swimming) so I do use these machines and am interested in hearing more.0 -
@whee1234 - I'm with you on not wanting to work out with other people. But I am always interested in learning new things. Then I decided whether I want to use this information or not.
Over the years, I've taken classes from hundreds of different yoga teachers. I've incorporated elements from about a dozen of them into my own yoga flow. You never know when you are going to pick up something useful.0 -
I would look at any advice they offer ( provided it's constructive) as a way to further my progress - use it to your advantage!0
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Honestly, you sound really whiny. Those girls neither sound rude, pushy, or out of line. And they are not some random bro at the gym giving you bad info. I had an experience like that once with a guy who would not leave a friend and me alone. After 45 minutes, he even pulled his shirt up to show me his abs. Finally I said dude, we're good here. He got really mad and decided to make a scene afterward and talk really loudly on his cell phone and keep giving me dirty looks.
Take good advice when you can from people you know and have the attitude you do when a bro bothers you.0 -
ValerieMartini2Olives wrote: »Honestly, you sound really whiny. Those girls neither sound rude, pushy, or out of line. And they are not some random bro at the gym giving you bad info. I had an experience like that once with a guy who would not leave a friend and me alone. After 45 minutes, he even pulled his shirt up to show me his abs. Finally I said dude, we're good here. He got really mad and decided to make a scene afterward and talk really loudly on his cell phone and keep giving me dirty looks.
Take good advice when you can from people you know and have the attitude you do when a bro bothers you.
Agreed. I thought it was going to be a thread about a time similar to when a man I don't know came up to me in the gym, looked me up and down, and said "you want to slim down your legs, right? You should stop lifting and try cycling."0 -
arditarose wrote: »ValerieMartini2Olives wrote: »Honestly, you sound really whiny. Those girls neither sound rude, pushy, or out of line. And they are not some random bro at the gym giving you bad info. I had an experience like that once with a guy who would not leave a friend and me alone. After 45 minutes, he even pulled his shirt up to show me his abs. Finally I said dude, we're good here. He got really mad and decided to make a scene afterward and talk really loudly on his cell phone and keep giving me dirty looks.
Take good advice when you can from people you know and have the attitude you do when a bro bothers you.
Agreed. I thought it was going to be a thread about a time similar to when a man I don't know came up to me in the gym, looked me up and down, and said "you want to slim down your legs, right? You should stop lifting and try cycling."
What a charming specimen.0 -
"No thanks. When I work out it's the only chance I get for me time."
Done.
You probably should have said something like that up front. By saying thanks without the "but I'm not interested" attached, they're probably under the impression you DO want to work out with them at some point. Icy smiles instead of direct communication isn't the best choice and is probably confusing to them since your actions and your words aren't matching up. I've found people respect my space when I make it clear what that space is.0 -
I would love unsolicited advice from someone who can help with my lifting form. Bring it on. I'll buy you coffee, alter your yoga pants, and share my baked chicken!0
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arditarose wrote: »ValerieMartini2Olives wrote: »Honestly, you sound really whiny. Those girls neither sound rude, pushy, or out of line. And they are not some random bro at the gym giving you bad info. I had an experience like that once with a guy who would not leave a friend and me alone. After 45 minutes, he even pulled his shirt up to show me his abs. Finally I said dude, we're good here. He got really mad and decided to make a scene afterward and talk really loudly on his cell phone and keep giving me dirty looks.
Take good advice when you can from people you know and have the attitude you do when a bro bothers you.
Agreed. I thought it was going to be a thread about a time similar to when a man I don't know came up to me in the gym, looked me up and down, and said "you want to slim down your legs, right? You should stop lifting and try cycling."
What a charming specimen.
I'm pretty tough so I was surprised at how horrible he made me feel.0 -
arditarose wrote: »oh_happy_day wrote: »
So really she just said something factual and offered to show you some other stuff if you're interested at some point? The way you're reacting makes it sound like she was rude or mean.
Weight machines don't hit every muscle group, nor are they particularly functional for every day movement. It also sounds like you don't have a program that you follow. Which is fine and gym is your chill time, but don't act like she's a raging b*tch for offering some advice.
This. She doesn't sound pushy. She was right and she offered help, as a friend, ONE TIME. It sounds like you may have given her a stink eye or cut the conversation short so you probably won't have to worry about it again.
Sorry, but I have to agree with ^^^. It sounds like these ladies have good intentions. They aren't mind readers. If you utilize that time as your own time, freakin say THAT. Don't scare anyone off with cold eyes.0 -
You need to speak up nicely and instead of stewing.0
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I have gotten unsolicited advice about my eating as well as about my workout. With my eating I thank them and said that what I was doing was working for me so far. I did appreciate the notes on my form because it really has helped me a lot.0
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So, I've made a couple new friends at work (yay!). When the three of us had coffee the other day, I confided in them about my recent 50 lb weight loss. I still need to lose another 75-100 lbs, as I'm a 5'7" female who weighs 230 lb.
They both immediately offered to work out with me. They're both super fit and one said that she was 'almost' certified as a personal
trainer.
I thanked them and smiled, but never intend to take either of them up on it. I hate the idea of working out with other people. My workout is my personal time. I want to listen to music and run on the treadmill and then use whatever weight machine I feel like using at the time.
The other girl (not almost a personal trainer) works out at my 24-hour gym. She saw me on the hip-addiction/abducction machine and came over to say hello. Then she said that the machine I was on only worked a very small muscle group and that she could show me what to do if I ever wanted her to. I gave her a cold-eyed smile and thanked her. Then I stopped talking in a way that made it obvious I was waiting for her to leave. I don't want to workout with her.
I really don't. How do I say "Back off, *kitten*" without using the words 'back,' 'off,' or '*kitten*?'
I like having coffee with these girls, and talking about work, and one of them hosts really awesome after-work parties on Fridays.
Also, I pick a different weight machine to do every day. And I workout 6 days a week. So not hitting the right muscle groups isn't a huge concern. Just saying.
she has a point there...0 -
While you are certainly under no pressure to work out with your colleagues if you don't want to, you might consider making an appointment with a trainer at your gym just to get a good, solid workout plan. (The abduction/adduction machine is pretty useless.)
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I can see where you're coming from as far as wanting to be left alone at the gym. I wanted my alone-time so much that I spent a fortune to create a complete home gym rather than go to a public one. I get that part.
But these women sound like sincere, nice coworkers that you want to continue to be friends with. If that is the case, you should remind yourself that their intentions are not malicious and stop being so offended. If I find out that a friend/coworker has similar interests, I'll probably jump at the chance to do that activity together. How am I supposed to know that the other person doesn't want company unless they tell me? If you have another encounter, why not say something like, "I really appreciate the offer/advice. I may take you up on that sometime. Right now it's really working for me to use the alone time to decompress. But, hey, why don't we do XXXX together instead?" It sounds like they just want to spend time with you, so make an offer if it's mutual.0 -
Presentation can have a pretty big impact on the meaning that's communicated. I can see a similar conversation sounding fairly pushy even if this one wasn't. On the other hand, sometimes our reception of information is affected by other encounters we've had.
Just as an example, in the parking structure I use, it's usually packed and people will shark for spots. I really, really hate being asked if I'm going to my car or where my spot is by someone else looking for a space. The nicest response I can muster is to wear headphones and ignore the question, regardless of how nice the person is being. I'm just tired of people nagging me for a parking spot.
In this situation, though, while this is your personal time, it's good to recognize that other people may not only be well-intentioned but also genuinely helpful. Strength machines that work isolated muscle groups aren't completely without use--I use them for some accessory work sometimes--but that's within the context of a lifting program that also uses compound lifts. Or in other words, she kind of had a point.
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Also, I pick a different weight machine to do every day. And I workout 6 days a week. So not hitting the right muscle groups isn't a huge concern. Just saying.
You're workout time is your time so do what you want. However, based on the above you might want to get some advice from a professional.0
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