Need some input for fiancé!
shelbik28
Posts: 9 Member
Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?0
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.0 -
get a treadmill In your house and have him power walk 1/2 a day.0
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get his eating under control. He can fine tune with exercise when he sees results.0
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It doesn't take a lot of time to weigh food and log it. He can do that while he's preparing it and eating it. He has to stop working to do that anyway. Time for excuses is over if he wants to lose the weight. Buy a food scale and start weighing and logging. Stick to the calorie deficit and the weight will come off.0
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It doesn't take a lot of time to weigh food and log it. He can do that while he's preparing it and eating it. He has to stop working to do that anyway. Time for excuses is over if he wants to lose the weight. Buy a food scale and start weighing and logging. Stick to the calorie deficit and the weight will come off.
All of that... Plus, I round up calories from processed foods and just put down that number on a dry erase board on my fridge. I figure out the cal for what I eat and log just the number into quick add calories at the end of the day. None of it takes long. Until I need to tighten up my macros and cal. deficit, I'll be doing this. It works for me and I'm pretty lazy but 53 lbs lighter with 44 more to go... Find out what his TDEE is and make him eat at a deficit. The rest will work itself...
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If he's working on a farm all day more exercise isn't the answer. He just needs to moderate his eating. Is that something you can help him with? Plan his meals for him with you doing the logging and counting for him? Basically like Jenny Craig but you're Jenny....0
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Good ideas! I'll have to work on portion sizes with him & help him with healthier food choices. I'm sure if he's eating a cup of pasta vs 2 plates full of pasta it's going to make a huge difference.0
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Good ideas! I'll have to work on portion sizes with him & help him with healthier food choices. I'm sure if he's eating a cup of pasta vs 2 plates full of pasta it's going to make a huge difference.
It definitely will. If he's a volume eater, and still wants a full plate of food in front of him, fill the rest of the plate with low calorie vegetables. Just make sure he's not slathering them with high calorie sauces or butters.0 -
Another suggestion is to help him make small changes one at time, rather than have him try to eat "right" or "perfectly." This helped me enormously. Over time, the little changes lead to big weight loss. Are there some lower calorie foods that he can swap out for a few higher calorie items. Addressing mindless eating if that's a problem for him is helpful too - e.g., no snacking in front of the TV or only eating measured snacks while watching TV. Perhaps he could start tracking or weighing some things, if not everything. I started by tracking my meals and gradually tracked other foods. Although, I might have done better by starting with snacks because that's where I was consuming a large number of less healthy calories :-) Good luck to you both!0
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Another suggestion is to help him make small changes one at time, rather than have him try to eat "right" or "perfectly." This helped me enormously. Over time, the little changes lead to big weight loss. Are there some lower calorie foods that he can swap out for a few higher calorie items. Addressing mindless eating if that's a problem for him is helpful too - e.g., no snacking in front of the TV or only eating measured snacks while watching TV. Perhaps he could start tracking or weighing some things, if not everything. I started by tracking my meals and gradually tracked other foods. Although, I might have done better by starting with snacks because that's where I was consuming a large number of less healthy calories :-) Good luck to you both!
Yeah, he doesn't have to eat right or perfectly, at all. Or swap out foods. All he has to do is eat less of the foods he's eating now. Smaller portions, fewer calories.0 -
Another suggestion is to help him make small changes one at time, rather than have him try to eat "right" or "perfectly." This helped me enormously. Over time, the little changes lead to big weight loss. Are there some lower calorie foods that he can swap out for a few higher calorie items. Addressing mindless eating if that's a problem for him is helpful too - e.g., no snacking in front of the TV or only eating measured snacks while watching TV. Perhaps he could start tracking or weighing some things, if not everything. I started by tracking my meals and gradually tracked other foods. Although, I might have done better by starting with snacks because that's where I was consuming a large number of less healthy calories :-) Good luck to you both!
Love this idea!0 -
Don't worry about tracking - 1/4 plate lean protein, 1/4 plate carbs, 1/2 plate vegetables. Water only (no other drinks) & black coffee only. Stop eating processed food. Focus on 5 serves of veg & 2 serves of fruit a day and while aiming to get that he'll lose weight. If he wants a treat make it SMALL and a snack after he's eaten a real meal so that he's full and isn't likely to continue eating afterwards.0
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Well if I'm going to be blunt......................he really doesn't want to lose. Because if he REALLY did, he would do it. There's desire and then there's commitment. He needs commitment and that's only going to come from him.He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
I think your last sentence captures the essence of the problem.
Logging food takes 5-10 mins per day.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
But he has to find a bit of motivation, or it isn't going to happen.
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
If you are the one making the food, possibly you could assist him in this. I make the food in our house so my wife eats what I eat and that way I can sort of monitorl her food intake when I log my own meals.0 -
Your fiance is lucky to have such a caring partner
First of all, this doesn't have to be complicated. He is already active in his job so I wouldn't worry too much about him introducing new exercises at this point. All he needs to do is eat at a healthy deficit and he'll lose weight - at a HEALTHY rate! Input his details into MFP and it'll work out what he needs to be eating calorie-wise.
Get him into the habit of tracking if possible. Even writing down what he eats during the day and working it all out at home. He can totally do this!0 -
If he is a farm hand he shouldn't need to work out. I helped out on a farm a few years back for 6 weeks it was hard tough work. lifting digging walking carrying. He just need to reduce his input of food.0
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Don't worry about tracking - 1/4 plate lean protein, 1/4 plate carbs, 1/2 plate vegetables. Water only (no other drinks) & black coffee only. Stop eating processed food. Focus on 5 serves of veg & 2 serves of fruit a day and while aiming to get that he'll lose weight. If he wants a treat make it SMALL and a snack after he's eaten a real meal so that he's full and isn't likely to continue eating afterwards.
Completely unnecessary. Just reducing calories and eating smaller portions is all that's needed to lose weight.0 -
The one visit I made to a family farm, and this was very traditional, the big meal was at lunch when everyone came in to chow down. It was a lot of food because those big boys were burning a lot of calories out in the field. The women prepared potatoes, chicken, salads, breads, mostly from products they had right there on the farm. It was quite a production.
Similarly, the industrial workers I got to know working out in the bush would have their big meal at breakfast in the hotel they were staying in, and they would chow down for a big meal and put some spares (like a bun) in their pockets. These meals would be hearty, with large portions, with plenty of cheese on top. But it would be the one big meal they needed to fuel their day.
If you are partnering up to keep him fed, you may have considerable control over how much he eats. You could portion and weigh all his meals for him, and log them. What you would have to come to an agreement on is seconds, evening snacking, and beers.
It might be interesting to log his intake for a couple days just to see how much he's taking in now. Losing weight might be as simple as reducing his intake by 100 calories from what he's eating now.
Maybe come to an agreement when he has eaten his portion, to fill up his corners on greens.0 -
He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
That's what I was thinking, too. At his height, weight, activity level and sex, he's got to have a very high TDEE... so he must be eating a heck of a lot to maintain that weight. I think small changes at first would be best for someone like him who isn't motivated enough to do a big lifestyle change. Things like reducing portion sizes and liquid calories.0 -
Like others said he needs to just eat a diflict, you could calculate his calories a prepare his meals and snacks for him, then he has no excuse0
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Well if I'm going to be blunt......................he really doesn't want to lose. Because if he REALLY did, he would do it. There's desire and then there's commitment. He needs commitment and that's only going to come from him.He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
thank you0 -
Check out the series if books "Eat This Not That" on amazon.com pretty inexpensively. It gives alternatives instead of don't eat x. My hubby liked this approach and it hot him started on a new path.0
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
I think your last sentence captures the essence of the problem.
Logging food takes 5-10 mins per day.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
But he has to find a bit of motivation, or it isn't going to happen.
I completely agree. I just think he's so down in the dumps right now that he thinks that he HAS to stay like this forever and just stopped caring. I think I'm going to make changes to the meals I prepare for him. If he realizes how easy it is to change how he eats & be healthier maybe he will get some motivation. Worth a try, right?0 -
Logging isnt that time consuming once you have your standard ingredients in your database, beyond that id agree with ninerbuff about him not being ready to lose weight or really wanting to. If he did then he would commit, without that then any discussion getting him to change his consumption is a bit pointless because he wont put it into action.
If you make his meals then cnat you prelog them for him and show him in practice the size of portions he needs to be eating against what hes consuming. He will 100% lose weight if hes in deficit, but perhaps this time he needs to do it in a more sustainable manner. It still has to ome from him though.0 -
consult with a nutrition specialist. That's what I have done. A good nutritionist will provide you with hand outs that will assist you with counting carbs. They can help layout a daily meal plan. Learn to read and understand labels. Use this cite to log and track meals, snacks and exercises. Keep this in mind, he didn't get this way over night. Slow and easy wins the race.0
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He works out every day. He just needs to reduce his calories a bit. Is he ready to log all his foods for a while?
I've asked him that same question. He said it'd be a good idea but he gets so busy, especially with harvest coming up, that he makes up excuses saying he will forget. He's just like me before I started losing. He wants to lose but has no motivation.
I think your last sentence captures the essence of the problem.
Logging food takes 5-10 mins per day.
To hold 375 lbs, with a very active day, he's taking in a lot of calories. Even if he doesn't log, if he cuts back on portions, cuts back on snacking, and cuts back on liquid calories (colas, beer, etc), he could see some big changes with little effort.
But he has to find a bit of motivation, or it isn't going to happen.
I completely agree. I just think he's so down in the dumps right now that he thinks that he HAS to stay like this forever and just stopped caring. I think I'm going to make changes to the meals I prepare for him. If he realizes how easy it is to change how he eats & be healthier maybe he will get some motivation. Worth a try, right?
I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.0
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