We broke up because...
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She spent all our money bailing out her Ex!
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she kept getting lipstick on all my clothes0
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She dropped my makeup bag in the washer!0
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She loved her lipstick more than me!0
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She was jealous of everything!!! 0
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she was too loud0
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I never could see them.0
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She was trying to see other people! I was Monogamous !0
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Because she wasn't just into group hugs as she claimed!0
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She henpecked me all the time0
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Wouldn't let me raise chickens in the back yard.0
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drank redwine like it was water0
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Took away all my "water"0
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she was too busy with her presidential campaign...had no time for me0
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I had all the time in the world for him...too much0
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frosting issues0
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she loved my hamster more than me0
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It was my hamster0
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He named our hamster Richard Gere0
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I was spending too much on Febreze for our hamster.0
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Converted our apartment into a human scaled hamster habitat0
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He couldn't get off the wheel without help.0
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He rigged my wheels so I would fall off the wagon!0
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all that pesky back scratching and clawing0
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Always wanted a Dutch Rudder, never wanted to Double Dutch Rudder0
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He never spoke English! It was all Dutch to me!0
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ze ook geweldig was0
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Always called me curse words!0
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what we had was a failure to communicate0
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swore like a sailor0
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