We broke up because...

mhiggi02

salami?

RunTimer

insisted on pet names for genitalia

FabulousFantasticFifty

Didn't like when I called him Spunky

RunTimer

arrobarriba

She liked junk food

mhiggi02

kept referring to dudes as "she"

RunTimer

@FabulousFantasticFifty , despite obviously looking younger, kept up the charade that she was fifty

FabulousFantasticFifty

Kept calling me "Dude"!

RunTimer

Didn't understand that DUDE was an acronym...Decidedly Unique, Definitely Exquisite

slimgirljo15

I ran faster than I ...got away

RunTimer

She out thought and out ran me..I kept stopping to pickup discarded clothing

MissRheingold

tequila makes his clothes fall off

RunTimer

she sprung, eternal

MissRheingold

lol he sprung a leak

RunTimer

she was afraid to leave Pandora's box

slimgirljo15

I can't kiss a man whose face Ive never seen

Dutchy_77

Was so funny that i could never get any

slimgirljo15

Laughed in the middle of doing *it* ..a real mood killer....

Nograce80

Her idea of it was watching tv. I needed more sexy time!

RunTimer

was insatiable..."dammit woman....I'm not a machine"

Nograce80

He used this excuse for everything "honey can you mow the lawn?" "dammit woman, I'm not a machine" Yeah I know but the lawn mower is!!!!

RunTimer

couldn't take a hint...when I asked her to 'mow the lawn' she thought I actually meant mow the lawn

FabulousFantasticFifty

Didn't like me "Natural"!

Nograce80

she looked like a werewolf if she didn't wax!

_fitness4life_

She liked werewolf types and I didn't qualify

FabulousFantasticFifty

She wasn't fond of my Wild Side!

Nograce80

I was tired of getting arrested!

_fitness4life_

I always had to bail her out

RunTimer

She was three-faced

jessie51moore

You called it a purse. IT'S A SATCHEL