When loved ones don't support you?

My boyfriend is the same, he always wants to eat unhealthy foods and doesn't consider that if I eat it it's going to affect my weight loss for the week.
I think you're right when you ask if your wife's natural slim physique is part of it. If you've never had to diet or watch what you eat it's difficult to know just how careful you have to be and understand why you're being so particular about portions etc.
As for the snacks, she may enjoy buying little treats for you, so why not just suggest some alternatives like fruit or other healty foods you enjoy?

I couldn't imagine not having support at home. My boyfriend is bulking but we eat similar meals and when he cooks he measures everything for me! He does buy treats too but I just leave them in the cupboard and he soon eats them all lol

One of the first things I told my wife when I went on the diet I am on is that it was my diet and that it was my choice, I do not expect her to go on it with me, or support me in it. She is a very sweet woman and does to a point anyway but she doesn't need to lose weight I do. I just have to say thanks for thinking of me, not eat everything she offers me and have a good laugh about it all. Brother at the end of the day its your becoming, as the gentleman said earlier, support is a bonus, but only that. Sides we all support you here, so you got us

Most of us are definitely in this on our own. My husband isn't losing weight with me, although he could stand to, and he isn't always the most supportive, either. He knows I'm going to watch what I'm eating with or without his support or approval, though.

The portion size thing had me chuckling. I can't imagine being upset at my husband for eating less. Do you take leftovers for lunches at work? That could be one way to eat the same amount overall; just split it into two meals.

My husband is trying to gain weight. So, my efforts on this journey are noted, but he still buys the things he needs to (that are often very tempting). We basically do our own thing when it comes to food and as long as we don't expect that the other will support us more than they are, it works. Unmet expectations are a b**ch so we try to avoid them by not expecting too much.

My SO has no interest in losing weight, and thought I was perfect when I was 20 pounds heavier. That is not a bad thing. I do what I need to do.

I wish I knew. My husband comments that he "likes fit women" and clearly wants me to be thinner but won't exercise with me.

Hang in there. I think we have to decide to do it for ourselves

SpleenThief wrote: »

Your drunk friends don't want you to be sober.
Your fat friends don't want you healthy
Your smoking friends don't want you nicotine free

It makes them look at things in their own lives they're not doing well.

That's so true!!!

I feel you OP, my wife tends to want to cook healthy, but it isn't consistent. Not only that, she'll buy cakes, desserts, chips for the house knowing that I won't eat that. I wouldn't mind that but then I go and buy vegetables and I hear the comments to the effect that I'm obsessed or that I'm trying be skinny. I'm not trying to be skinny at all, but fit because I've been overweight all my life.

My husband isn't very supportive either, he loves me the way I am and doesn't want me to change and doesn't think I need to lose weight, which is lovely but I have to keep reminding him that I was slimmer when he met me and he liked me a lot then too lol. I just want to be fit and healthy as I'm overweight, I'm not trying to change drastically. He can't seem to understand this, he thinks I should eat the same things as him and can't seem to understand that he can naturally eat more than me anyway and he is also a lot more active than I am. He brings in sweets or biscuits and puts them next to me or asks if I want something and when I say no gets stroppy and says that means he can't either! It makes it so much harder when someone you live with is not supportive, it's like your battling against that as well.

You are making a change in your life. It can be uncomfortable and unfamiliar for those around you.

Some great guidance on this thread but I'd add to have some patience.

In my situation, for years my wife knew that bringing me home cookies or another treat would make me happy. In fact, I'd be disappointed if she didn't indulge my whims. Even as I started my journey I'll share that my inconsistencies were hard on her. "Support me and my new lifestyle but if I want a pizza it's your responsibility to support that choice and not make me feel bad for falling short."

She's had to make adjustments through the process. Now that she recognizes that I'm serious and I'm more consistent in my behavior, she's bought in full force.

You can either ignore her complaints or take them head on and tell her how many calories of her food you are willing to take in to meet your daily goal. Maybe providing a bit of information back to her will help her understand why a bag of chips worth 600 calories (making this up, don't ruin a story with facts) won't fit into your calorie restricted diet of 1,400 calories.

If she can't understand that she is either a) dense or b) working to sabotage your efforts. Hopefully it's (a) because you can more easily work with that.

Or... suffer in silence for a while and after she sees you are sticking with this for the long haul eventually she'll come on side.

jb32hss wrote: »

I couldn't imagine not having support at home. My boyfriend is bulking but we eat similar meals and when he cooks he measures everything for me! He does buy treats too but I just leave them in the cupboard and he soon eats them all lol

it really is no big deal. My other half is huge and no interests yet of losing weight, he laughs at me for weighing my food, and exercising. But then he isnt complaining about the end results.

Sounds like you have a positive attitude about all of this and honestly she probably just likes giving you treats. She probably isn't being vindictivem. It also sounds like you are pretty fit and so she may not see a need in weight loss.

I don't think 10 pounds for a reasonably fit male with a great metabolism is all that unheard of. Now, I wish I could lose 10 pounds in one month because I would be done. Haha. If she's a small female she sees 10 pounds as a lot of weight. Her perspective is different.

I'm only 5 ft tall so 10 pounds is huge for me!

Anyway, good luck with your fat loss and muscle gains. She will appreciate the end results!

My husband is supportive as in buying me anthing I need to lose weight but won't exercise with me. I wish he would but maybe he will eventually as some of the others stated.


quote="glowcap;34023847"]I'm being patient with my wife and I hope she'll get behind me in time.

As Amy said, 10lbs in a month is quite the difference, but I'm following my macros and doing a mix of cardio and weight training 5 days a week. I've mostly dropped fat, but I'm still tuning everything in. My real target is 15% body fat, but the app only lets me plug in weight.

Thanks again for all the responses. I didn't expect to see so many. This is a great community, and I wish all of you the very best of luck in your body management goals. [/quote]

So my husband just went and bought a Total Gym. Maybe he is going to workout with me. Woohoo!!!!