Online Dating and Weight Loss

Damn double posts...

i met my boyfriend (hopefully husband) on eharmony. I was 30lbs heavier. I have always been confident until a horrible break up left me hurt and depressed. I started my online dating with match.com... however this site allows you to pick and the guys to pick you... i found this left me with many creepers. eharmony is a much safer site in my opinion. Because it does cost a bit more i was confident that they guys i met would actually be interested in me and in a relationship instead of just a random hook-up.

all the best to you! and remember that the sexiest thing about you is your confidence!!

This topic is about a month old now, but I just found it today so I thought I'd add a few comments. Also, if the OP has an update, I'd love to hear it.

I really think that deciding to do the online dating thing should happen when you are feeling confident - if you can do that at your current weight, that's great, but if you are having any self-esteem issues right now I'd wait.

My reason for saying this is that I set up an OkCupid profile a little over a month ago, and now that I've been talking to a few guys for a while, I find that I am afraid to meet them in person because I'm convinced that when they see me, they will be disappointed. I did put up what I think are accurate pics weight-wise, but they were taken in the winter, and I'm fairly covered up in them, and now it's the summer, and I can't exactly show up in a sweater and coat! : ) I really, really (really!) wish I was one of those people who could just say, "Screw it - if they don't like me because I'm 20lbs overweight then they suck!" but I'm just not there right now. There is one guy in particular who I've really enjoyed talking to, but he is very athletic, and I just can't stand the thought of him being disappointed by my appearance so I keep turning down his requests for dates. At this point, I wish I just would have waited until I was feeling more confident in myself because there's no way in hell I'm going to tell him, "Oh, let's meet in a few months when I'm skinnier," (I like to keep my raging insecurity to myself, thank you! - well, outside of MFP, I guess) so now I'm either going to have to suck it up and meet him when I feel bad about myself or just blow him off, which sucks because he seems like a great person and won't know why I'm doing it. : (

Sigh. So really evaluate your own confidence level. What's funny is that the reason I signed up to begin with was to boost my confidence - which worked at first because women traditionally get a lot of messages, and I was no exception. But now that it's coming to a point where I can't hide behind my witty emails, I'm terrified, and it's hurt both myself and possibly others (though I may be giving myself a little TOO much credit here, ha ha). I hope you have more confidence than me, though, and you're able to enjoy yourself and meeting people at any weight! It's really a much better way to live, and maybe some day I'll get there too.

Given my insecurity-laden post from a few days ago, I thought I'd post an update. I actually went on a date with the guy after all, and it went great. I'm 90% sure we'll see each other again. Who knew? : )