How to diet when your SO is not???

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  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    I log, he doesn't. I weigh my food, he doesn't. But when I cook (which is everyday) I weigh and measure and serve him his food and if wants more (if there is any) he can choose to eat a bit more.

    Thank goodness we eat the same things everyday. I cook his breakfast and pack his lunches.. he eats everything I give him. I sort of keep him in check, he is aware that I am cooking "prepped" out meals and he has actually lost 45 pounds in the past 9 months.. No logging of his own..
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    gia07 wrote: »
    I log, he doesn't. I weigh my food, he doesn't. But when I cook (which is everyday) I weigh and measure and serve him his food and if wants more (if there is any) he can choose to eat a bit more.

    Thank goodness we eat the same things everyday. I cook his breakfast and pack his lunches.. he eats everything I give him. I sort of keep him in check, he is aware that I am cooking "prepped" out meals and he has actually lost 45 pounds in the past 9 months.. No logging of his own..
    Yeah I gotta say that sucks. I improve our family dinners and he loses his paunch without even trying it seems.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    ogmilner wrote: »
    I have been living with my partner for a while and have really focused in on losing weight over the last month.

    However, I'm finding it really difficult to diet and stick to low GI and minimal saturated fats during the evening when he comes home from work and at weekends.

    Where I am overweight and uncomfortable in myself, he is considered underweight but struggles to gain anything, leaving him stuck at 8.5-9 stone.

    At weekends I buy myself a bag of fruit juice gummy drops and a small bag of unsalted nuts from a health food shop, whereas he stocks up on sweets and crisps and gorges on them whilst we watch films/programmes together.

    It doesn't bother me that he's eating them, I just find myself overly tempted to join him, and have occasionally broke my meal plan and felt guilty for sharing a pizza when it's too late to cook or having a triple chocolate cookie.

    Our best weekend was when I made a bowl of Graze Pepper Popcorn and a minimal calorie Hot Chocolate for us to share as it was much healthier than me craving crisps and chocolate and we could share this as a treat.

    How does everyone else deal with this?

    Do you have recipes or certain snacks/meals to share with one another? Do you sit in seperate rooms? Do you go exercise whilst they munch ahead?

    I know it's hard, but don't criticise him for "gorging" on food that will improve his BMI. He's underweight, so he needs extra calories.

    Instead, think of both your eating habits as being for health. You both are eating to satisfy the ratio of "calories in" versus "calories out" that is appropriate for your health.

    You never know, he might start using MFP to gain the weight he needs. Good luck to you for losing the weight you want.
  • choppie70
    choppie70 Posts: 544 Member
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    I manage my calories through the day so I can have a "normal" meal with my family. I make sure if we are having pizza that I have the calories to eat it. I have not changed our dinner routine , except for finding some healthier choices: leaner meats, more veggies, less processed foods. I make sure to weigh all my food and I drink my glass of water and eat a salad first.

    My husband has a very active job. His fitbit registers over 30,000 steps for an 8 hour shift. He is also 6ft. compared to my 5ft. 3in! He burns a lot more calories than I and he needs to eat a lot more than I do.
    As far as snacking goes, I love having a dessert each night. We still do that. I have worked hard on measuring my portions and finding lower calorie choices where I can.
  • Krystle1984
    Krystle1984 Posts: 146 Member
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    Me and my boyfriend have very different diets - he is basically a carnivore who shuns vegetables and I'm vegetarian and gluten free.

    When I met him I was a UK size 10, and had maintained that weight for 3 years. 2 years on and I've gained almost 4 stone and am now a size 16! I know it's my own fault, I ate too much
    etc. But he really doesn't help! Lol! He is constantly buying me wine and making me gluten free goodies that I haven’t eaten in years like doughnuts, naan bread and onion bhajis. He goes out of his way to make parts of his dinner gluten free (like dauphinoise potatoes) despite me telling him I don't want any - then gets all pouty and put out if I don't eat it. He also actively discourages me from exercising and genuinely can't see a problem with my current weight.

    It does make my journey back to a healthy weight more challenging, but I'm slowly learning to ignore the temptations and do my own thing - if he doesn't like it then tough! I just make it plain to him before he cooks anything that I won't be eating it and that way I don't need to feel guilty - he chose to make it anyway so that's his problem.

    I do sometimes wish he was more on board though. Would make this whole process easier!
  • elos18
    elos18 Posts: 38 Member
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    My SO is obese (like me) but would prefer to lose weight by going the gym and playing sports whereas I hate most exercise and would rather moderate my calories. Surprise surprise he hasn't lost much weight and I've lost 17lbs in 2 months or so.

    I do all the cooking and it can be very frustrating. He wont eat fish, doesn't like many veg and has very plain tastes (doesn't like any kind of spice). He's SO supportive of me trying to lose weight however and accepts that I'm not going to eat chicken with mash/veg etc every night so when he's home, ill find low calorie versions of his (and our, tbf) favourites like pizza, pie, pasta and we'll have that. If he doesn't like it so much, I might do some tweaking but when it gets to a certain point I just eat foods when he isn't home for dinner. This is usually 1-3 times a week so it means I can get some fish, spice into my diet and we've struck a happy medium doing this.

    However, we have had the conversation of "I'm not your personal slave and if you don't like what I cook then you can make your own meals". Sometimes men need a little reminding ;) I haven't had any moaning since!

    Luckily, we both snack on different things so I'm never very envious of what he's eating.

    Basically, he doesn't force me to eat things I don't want to eat for whatever reason, and I don't force him to eat "rabbit food". His diet is his responsibility, not mine, and whilst we encourage each other to make healthy choices (most of the time) we have had to compromise on a few things and that works fine for us :)
  • AliciaToniak
    AliciaToniak Posts: 25 Member
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    My husband has never struggled with weight and has an excellent metabolism...he can eat whatever whenever he wants and not gain a pound...I just watch him eat that stuff snd I gain 5 pounds!! Anyhow doesn't mean he is healthier then me cause you can't tell me a guy eating 2 bags of chips a week and barely touches veggies doesn't have high cholesterol compared to a girl who never eats chips and eats loDs of veggies daily. I eat healthy and he eats carbs, bread and whatever he wants...I load my plate with veggies and he loads with pasta or French fries and we are both content with that. I will cook and eat the same protein whether it be ribs, pork hips or pot roast. I just minus the pasta,rice or potato side dish and replace it with salad or veggies and treat myself with whole grain carb side dish one or twice a week instead of daily like him. I think you just have to get it out of your head that you have to eat the same as your partner cause not everyone has the same metabolism and it's ok. The pay off of not eating the junk is in the you will look and feel fantastic..not a bad trade off!!
  • Four_Leaf_Clover
    Four_Leaf_Clover Posts: 332 Member
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    I have a nearly underweight DH and 4 active kids. I cook all our meals together. I just eat smaller portions (and often no starch, more veggies). If we have pizza, I have one slice and a salad and enjoy it slowly (and I get good pizza to make it worth it).

    Is it hard to sit next to him while he enjoys movie theater butter popcorn or a cupcake? Sometimes yes, but it gets easier. I can have a little if I really want or have my own snack - I just have to plan.

    Things that help - I set aside some calories for my own treat at the end of the day. I buy or make things that I know I can fit in and will enjoy. I also enjoy flavored seltzer water or a single diet root beer at night if I don't have room. My DH keeps his treats in a separate cabinet so I never see them. If you have certain foods you find especially hard to resist - perhaps ask him if he wouldn't mind avoiding those at those times (say if you cannot resist Doritos, maybe he could pick another salty snack on movie night).
  • esaucier17
    esaucier17 Posts: 694 Member
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    Francl27 wrote: »
    You have to make the decision to stick to your guns... but there's no reason why you can't have a piece of pizza or a cookie too.

    My husband is obese and hasn't done much to change his diet at all in the 2.5 years I've been on MFP (ok he tried for a few months, lost 10 pounds, gained it all back). He snacks on ice cream, cheese, crackers, cookies, chocolate, basically anything, at night when he watches TV. But I don't have to eat that stuff, and he doesn't have to eat my snacks. We don't share snacks anyway because I log everything I eat, so I get my own.

    I make the same dinner for everyone (most nights), but that includes anything from meatloaf to burgers to pizza sometimes. I ask him what he wants, and if he actually wants something, I'll make it, I'll just make a lighter version of it, and I'll have a smaller portion. I just weigh my portion and make sure it fits in my calories and try to have something delicious at every meal so I'm less tempted to eat 'junk' after. I very rarely have snacks after dinner and no, we don't sit in different rooms. He eats right next to me while we watch TV.

    I usually don't exercise when he's home, but I'd just hop on the exercise bike while we watch TV and he snacks... not a problem at all.

    Bottom line is that you have to make the choice for yourself to lose weight and be healthier. I've lost 80 pounds, and I have kids too and a lot of snacks and treats and 'junk' food in the house at all times. You just got to want it hard enough.

    This is exactly my fiance and I. And we have 2 young boys so there are treats and snacks in our house too. I just try to have willpower and not eat them. I do wish my fiance would get on board with me but it has to be his choice. I go to the gym with my mom or alone. Or I get on my elliptical at home while watching TV or take the dog for walks. I eat a lighter portion of dinner or if they want something I really shouldn't eat i make myself a salad or something a little healthier. I would be easier if we all ate the same but I am not forcing or asking anyone to do that when I am doing this for myself. I do however limit my son's sugar and some junk food ;-)
  • mrsloganlife
    mrsloganlife Posts: 158 Member
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    Story of my life. My husband can give up soda for a week and lose 10 pounds--where I would gain 2. It's just different bodies!

    I plan our meals every Sunday and just tell him what we are having for his input. I don't use the words 'healthy' 'low carb' or anything. He knows that if he wants to know what I am putting in it he will ask and I will tell. We have really opened up a lot because he knows and supports my desire to lose weight. My husband is the pickiest eater ever so it has been a slow process getting healthy recipes introduced. If I try a new recipe I make a half portion, in case he doesn't like it. If I know it is one he likes, I will make more so we both can take leftovers for lunch.

    With that being said, we are at an impasse with working out. He thinks a fun workout is running. I, from being forced to run for 3 hours as punishment (basketball), just can't do it. So we find other ways. While he is snoozing in the morning, I get up with the dog, walk him, and then do an at home workout. While he is home alone at the end of the day waiting for me to get off work, he goes and runs. We've learned that while we can be healthier together we don't have to do everything healthy together. With that being said we have discovered things we can do together--take the dog to a dog park and walk (or run when our dog starts chasing a squirrel), etc. It's just both of us having enough open communication and security that we know we can make our family healthy.

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