He said iam obsessed??? Just venting. ..

Jboo7825
Jboo7825 Posts: 21 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I say iam not obsessed just motivated, but it seems to be putting a strain on my relationship. Unfortunately my boyfriend got sick with the blood clog in his left leg that requires him to be on bed rest so there's no work for him. He is very lean he can stand a few extra pounds LoL frfr. But when I decide that I was going to use the tool that I was given again he was working so he didn't know how much time I spend in the gym. I have two hrs of down time that I put to good use now & he is very upset bcuz its not spent with him. I know this man loves me & never has anything to say about my weight. In the past he would get mad bcuz I eat junk food before bed and go to sleep. But now I'm focus on me getting healthy to be around for my daughter & him but his attitude this past week has been very nonchalant with me. These past few weeks has been hell sore body, upset stomach, and sleep. It's no bedroom action I'm trying and iam not giving up just motivated why don't he understands. Just venting and as I type this iam ready for my walk but a little upset we normally spend Saturday morning in bed watching tv but he is upset to the sofa he went.. Smdh
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Replies

  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    He may just be frustrated with his situation and expressing it the only way he knows how. I was in a similar situation a few years as ago. Blood clots are excruciatingly painful and being bedridden sucks. I know it's ago drag that he's taking it out on you, but try to let it roll off your back as much as you can. Hang in there, it'll get better!
  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
    I'm sorry to hear you're having these problems. My husband gets upset sometimes too when he sees how much time I spend at the gym. I just try to spend more time doing stuff with him than I normally would. I hope he'll come around for you soon!
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    His reaction may have way more to do with his injury than with how you spend your time. If he can't be as active as he'd like and feels helpless, he may try to latch onto you more. He could be worried you'll find someone active who's not on bed rest and leave him. An injury like this can be really emasculating for him.

    Maybe carve out some real quality time with him. Let him know you still see him as the same man he was before the illness and your feelings haven't changed. If he's asking for attention and company, find a way to give it to him that still allows you time for your healthy priorities.
  • ilovecereal1982
    ilovecereal1982 Posts: 1,194 Member
    What does the frfr after the lol mean????
  • soulofgrace
    soulofgrace Posts: 175 Member
    ilovecereal1982 wrote: »
    What does the frfr after the lol mean????

    Urban dictionary says "for real for real." Gotta love UD.

    OP, I agree with above, BF is going through a tough time.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.
  • Azuriaz
    Azuriaz Posts: 785 Member
    Sounds like he's lonely, bored, and feeling abandoned. Can you haul some dumbbells to his bedside or a mat and do some of your workout while you keep him company?
  • cmtigger
    cmtigger Posts: 1,450 Member
    hi135 wrote: »
    I know a man who had surgery on his shoulder and went to work the next day and never once complained.
    Not every man is the same, but your dude will be ok, as long as your not totally abandoning him, taking care of him, making him food ect don't feel bad for doing what you have to do for yourself.
    Let's not compare. Especially totally different situations. It's not fair. I've been bedridden and compared to stuff that didn't compare and its emotionally abusive.

    He is probably reacting to his situation. It may be time for a talk, and compromise on both sides. Blood clots are no fun, but he shouldn't expect you to give up everything.
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    Yes my h7bby very much is like this. It is always a struggle. I try to include him. I try to workout or do things he likes like hiking but nope. He complains if I am at the gym, on a walk or even at home! But you know what? My weight is not gonna lose itself! I told him it is hard enough to motivate myself let alone fight for my need to be healthy! So you have to re balance. Have his playtime with you, his intimate time with you and then you have you time. As long as I ensure to try to meet his needs as best I can it makes him happy and less struggle. But just finding that balance is hard.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    You can still get your stuff done. Be patient with him. For one, he needs to heal. And he is going through a difficult and maybe scary time.
  • Jboo7825
    Jboo7825 Posts: 21 Member
    elphie754 wrote: »
    My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.

    Sorry but I didnt tell that he has been dealing with this for a year & some now, so yes it is me iam very attentive to his need when its needed, he's fine just needed to cut down on activities for a while.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    Jboo7825 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.

    Sorry but I didnt tell that he has been dealing with this for a year & some now, so yes it is me iam very attentive to his need when its needed, he's fine just needed to cut down on activities for a while.

    I am sorry but the length of time does not change my opinion.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Jboo7825 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.

    Sorry but I didnt tell that he has been dealing with this for a year & some now, so yes it is me iam very attentive to his need when its needed, he's fine just needed to cut down on activities for a while.
    He might be depressed. Tell him to talk to his medical dr or pharmacist about any medications he is on that are effecting his mood.
  • tiny_clanger
    tiny_clanger Posts: 301 Member
    My dh is at home recovering from major surgery. He can't do very much for himself and is in a lot of pain. So my gym time goes on the back burner. I'm still logging, I'm eating less to compensate, but right now, he needs me. The gym and my body will still be there in a pretty similar state next week.
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    If his saying goes you're obsessed triggers a self validating Internet post rather than self reflection and assessment of a scenario that you concede is causing issues, maybe there is some truth in his statement.
  • ogmomma2012
    ogmomma2012 Posts: 1,520 Member
    It's been a year. I don't see why anyone would want to stand in the way of their significant other meeting their health goals. How much do you exercise vs. how much do you spend with him? If he is lonely, does he have friends or family to visit with? Was he this needy before the blood clot?
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Maybe he's feeling a little insecure, because you're getting healthier and it threatens him?
  • Jboo7825
    Jboo7825 Posts: 21 Member
    At the end of the day,I have to do what's best for me, I know he is fine. His health issues is major & me being overweight is major also. He just loves my attention & lately its been about what I need & thats for me to stay focus I failed before bcuz of a similar situation & other issues but not this time. Thank for the positive feed back that was given and the negative I just laugh. Have A blessed nite everyone...
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    My friend had a blood clot in her leg a couple of years ago and she was TERRIFIED. There's a time bomb in your leg. You're taking meds hoping it doesn't explode while they work. Every week, going in for shots. Afraid of every funny feeling. Having to watch your food so that doesn't get you sick too.

    He's not working, and unsure what to do with a kid who needs someone able around too, and probably just as scared ****less as my friend was.

    I mean don't stop working out, but do you need 2 hours every time?
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited September 2015
    Oh it's been a year. Yeah a year of that would mess with anyone's head. He needs some help probably, yeah.

    I can imagine him feeling envious, maybe. Does he have any hobbies he could do from bed? Help him find a hobby maybe

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