He said iam obsessed??? Just venting. ..
Jboo7825
Posts: 21 Member
I say iam not obsessed just motivated, but it seems to be putting a strain on my relationship. Unfortunately my boyfriend got sick with the blood clog in his left leg that requires him to be on bed rest so there's no work for him. He is very lean he can stand a few extra pounds LoL frfr. But when I decide that I was going to use the tool that I was given again he was working so he didn't know how much time I spend in the gym. I have two hrs of down time that I put to good use now & he is very upset bcuz its not spent with him. I know this man loves me & never has anything to say about my weight. In the past he would get mad bcuz I eat junk food before bed and go to sleep. But now I'm focus on me getting healthy to be around for my daughter & him but his attitude this past week has been very nonchalant with me. These past few weeks has been hell sore body, upset stomach, and sleep. It's no bedroom action I'm trying and iam not giving up just motivated why don't he understands. Just venting and as I type this iam ready for my walk but a little upset we normally spend Saturday morning in bed watching tv but he is upset to the sofa he went.. Smdh
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He may just be frustrated with his situation and expressing it the only way he knows how. I was in a similar situation a few years as ago. Blood clots are excruciatingly painful and being bedridden sucks. I know it's ago drag that he's taking it out on you, but try to let it roll off your back as much as you can. Hang in there, it'll get better!0
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I'm sorry to hear you're having these problems. My husband gets upset sometimes too when he sees how much time I spend at the gym. I just try to spend more time doing stuff with him than I normally would. I hope he'll come around for you soon!0
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His reaction may have way more to do with his injury than with how you spend your time. If he can't be as active as he'd like and feels helpless, he may try to latch onto you more. He could be worried you'll find someone active who's not on bed rest and leave him. An injury like this can be really emasculating for him.
Maybe carve out some real quality time with him. Let him know you still see him as the same man he was before the illness and your feelings haven't changed. If he's asking for attention and company, find a way to give it to him that still allows you time for your healthy priorities.0 -
What does the frfr after the lol mean????0
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ilovecereal1982 wrote: »What does the frfr after the lol mean????
Urban dictionary says "for real for real." Gotta love UD.
OP, I agree with above, BF is going through a tough time.0 -
My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.0
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Sounds like he's lonely, bored, and feeling abandoned. Can you haul some dumbbells to his bedside or a mat and do some of your workout while you keep him company?0
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Let's not compare. Especially totally different situations. It's not fair. I've been bedridden and compared to stuff that didn't compare and its emotionally abusive.I know a man who had surgery on his shoulder and went to work the next day and never once complained.
Not every man is the same, but your dude will be ok, as long as your not totally abandoning him, taking care of him, making him food ect don't feel bad for doing what you have to do for yourself.
He is probably reacting to his situation. It may be time for a talk, and compromise on both sides. Blood clots are no fun, but he shouldn't expect you to give up everything.
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Yes my h7bby very much is like this. It is always a struggle. I try to include him. I try to workout or do things he likes like hiking but nope. He complains if I am at the gym, on a walk or even at home! But you know what? My weight is not gonna lose itself! I told him it is hard enough to motivate myself let alone fight for my need to be healthy! So you have to re balance. Have his playtime with you, his intimate time with you and then you have you time. As long as I ensure to try to meet his needs as best I can it makes him happy and less struggle. But just finding that balance is hard.0
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You can still get your stuff done. Be patient with him. For one, he needs to heal. And he is going through a difficult and maybe scary time.
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My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.
Sorry but I didnt tell that he has been dealing with this for a year & some now, so yes it is me iam very attentive to his need when its needed, he's fine just needed to cut down on activities for a while.0 -
My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.
Sorry but I didnt tell that he has been dealing with this for a year & some now, so yes it is me iam very attentive to his need when its needed, he's fine just needed to cut down on activities for a while.
I am sorry but the length of time does not change my opinion.0 -
He might be depressed. Tell him to talk to his medical dr or pharmacist about any medications he is on that are effecting his mood.My opinion is likely not going to be a popular one, but all I read in the OP is about you, how this is effecting you etc. some compassionate ms understanding about how hard this is for him would be good.
Sorry but I didnt tell that he has been dealing with this for a year & some now, so yes it is me iam very attentive to his need when its needed, he's fine just needed to cut down on activities for a while.
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My dh is at home recovering from major surgery. He can't do very much for himself and is in a lot of pain. So my gym time goes on the back burner. I'm still logging, I'm eating less to compensate, but right now, he needs me. The gym and my body will still be there in a pretty similar state next week.0
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If his saying goes you're obsessed triggers a self validating Internet post rather than self reflection and assessment of a scenario that you concede is causing issues, maybe there is some truth in his statement.0
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It's been a year. I don't see why anyone would want to stand in the way of their significant other meeting their health goals. How much do you exercise vs. how much do you spend with him? If he is lonely, does he have friends or family to visit with? Was he this needy before the blood clot?0
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Maybe he's feeling a little insecure, because you're getting healthier and it threatens him?0
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At the end of the day,I have to do what's best for me, I know he is fine. His health issues is major & me being overweight is major also. He just loves my attention & lately its been about what I need & thats for me to stay focus I failed before bcuz of a similar situation & other issues but not this time. Thank for the positive feed back that was given and the negative I just laugh. Have A blessed nite everyone...0
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My friend had a blood clot in her leg a couple of years ago and she was TERRIFIED. There's a time bomb in your leg. You're taking meds hoping it doesn't explode while they work. Every week, going in for shots. Afraid of every funny feeling. Having to watch your food so that doesn't get you sick too.
He's not working, and unsure what to do with a kid who needs someone able around too, and probably just as scared ****less as my friend was.
I mean don't stop working out, but do you need 2 hours every time?0 -
Oh it's been a year. Yeah a year of that would mess with anyone's head. He needs some help probably, yeah.
I can imagine him feeling envious, maybe. Does he have any hobbies he could do from bed? Help him find a hobby maybe0 -
At the end of the day,I have to do what's best for me, I know he is fine. His health issues is major & me being overweight is major also. He just loves my attention & lately its been about what I need & thats for me to stay focus I failed before bcuz of a similar situation & other issues but not this time. Thank for the positive feed back that was given and the negative I just laugh. Have A blessed nite everyone...
He doesn't seem to be fine from what you've described. He's scared, bedridden, and you say you have to do what's best for you. He has major health issues. So do you. You don't have to exercise to lose weight (although it helps), but maintain a calorie deficit. He could be harboring some jealousy that you can do stuff that he can't, which is completely understandable. Why not try doing three or four 20-minute exercises instead, plus little things like parking the car far away or walking in place and/or dancing in front of the television? You could make him laugh by doing dumb dances! Just a few thoughts . . .0 -
Oh it's been a year. Yeah a year of that would mess with anyone's head. He needs some help probably, yeah.
I can imagine him feeling envious, maybe. Does he have any hobbies he could do from bed? Help him find a hobby maybe
I don't use two hrs in the gym, I have a two hr break so iam home for 45 min then over to the gym that's rite here at home.0 -
Sometimes yall women just have to let us men vent. Don't think to much of it just keep doing you and show yourself what you've accomplished and he will notice. Lol then make him apologize!!0
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2 hours out a 24 hour day isn't very much. Maybe try a day or a chunk of time gym free and if possible make it time for him...I do Sunday because my hubby is off work then
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My friend had a blood clot in her leg a couple of years ago and she was TERRIFIED. There's a time bomb in your leg. You're taking meds hoping it doesn't explode while they work. Every week, going in for shots. Afraid of every funny feeling. Having to watch your food so that doesn't get you sick too.
He's not working, and unsure what to do with a kid who needs someone able around too, and probably just as scared ****less as my friend was.
I mean don't stop working out, but do you need 2 hours every time?
Yes I understand this oh so well because thats what he went through, but all that is over he take xarelto now, so no running bck & forward to the hospital to check inr every week no shots in the stomach the clot has shrunk in size. This is why I know he is fine, its major but under control he just over did it at work causing a lil sat bck.once again he loves the attention from me so I understand he's gonna complain he has all mobility & able to do for him self yes he & I both know its a scary situation but its under control so I will work on me.0 -
Sometimes yall women just have to let us men vent. Don't think to much of it just keep doing you and show yourself what you've accomplished and he will notice. Lol then make him apologize!!
Finally someone understand, I let him vent but wasnt looking for the attuide to sick with it & was woman enough to say yes love I have been spending more time on working out & i will figure this all out soon just please be patient..0 -
My friend had a blood clot in her leg a couple of years ago and she was TERRIFIED. There's a time bomb in your leg. You're taking meds hoping it doesn't explode while they work. Every week, going in for shots. Afraid of every funny feeling. Having to watch your food so that doesn't get you sick too.
He's not working, and unsure what to do with a kid who needs someone able around too, and probably just as scared ****less as my friend was.
I mean don't stop working out, but do you need 2 hours every time?
Yes I understand this oh so well because thats what he went through, but all that is over he take xarelto now, so no running bck & forward to the hospital to check inr every week no shots in the stomach the clot has shrunk in size. This is why I know he is fine, its major but under control he just over did it at work causing a lil sat bck.once again he loves the attention from me so I understand he's gonna complain he has all mobility & able to do for him self yes he & I both know its a scary situation but its under control so I will work on me.
Just because he is on a certain medication does not mean all is fine. He is obviously still very worried. Honestly, it sounds like you are just minimizing how he feels. This really sounds like all about you with a disregard to how he feels. It sounds like you are trying to say he is just complaining for attention.0 -
I don't see how you get all this from the op posts!My friend had a blood clot in her leg a couple of years ago and she was TERRIFIED. There's a time bomb in your leg. You're taking meds hoping it doesn't explode while they work. Every week, going in for shots. Afraid of every funny feeling. Having to watch your food so that doesn't get you sick too.
He's not working, and unsure what to do with a kid who needs someone able around too, and probably just as scared ****less as my friend was.
I mean don't stop working out, but do you need 2 hours every time?
Yes I understand this oh so well because thats what he went through, but all that is over he take xarelto now, so no running bck & forward to the hospital to check inr every week no shots in the stomach the clot has shrunk in size. This is why I know he is fine, its major but under control he just over did it at work causing a lil sat bck.once again he loves the attention from me so I understand he's gonna complain he has all mobility & able to do for him self yes he & I both know its a scary situation but its under control so I will work on me.
Just because he is on a certain medication does not mean all is fine. He is obviously still very worried. Honestly, it sounds like you are just minimizing how he feels. This really sounds like all about you with a disregard to how he feels. It sounds like you are trying to say he is just complaining for attention.
Op, I think you should and must continue on with your program or there will be 2 people sick in bed, lol!
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Yeah sure love, just watch out for when he doesn't "bother" you for attention anymore.
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Healthygreek, me either really I wanted to know has anyone else had to deal with a situation of their spouse or significant other feeling a certain way about the lifestyle change. It turns in to a post about his blood clot & oh how I need to be compassionate about his situation. But any person in their rite mind that loves & care for someone, as I do for this man would be there in the time of need. I've had sleepless nites and long days worried if he would be in better health, and to know those days have passed & he's in much better health than he was is great on me. I know also well the dangers of a blood clot, so when I know he's fine trust and believe me. He has adapt to me being here sitting on the sofa or in bed watching t.v but its been none of that in the past weeks, he dont know & will never know how it feels to be overweight because he is lean very lean.
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