The downside of being fit and in shape...

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Replies

  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    From what you say about your neighbours, if this was the Middle Ages they'd burn you at the stake for being a witch (as happened to comely young women). I'd move away [if you can] to a more enlightened area.
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
    You are not being slut shamed, your parents are abusing you. Time for you to move. Must be awful to live in your part of the world.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    PinkPixiexox wrote: »
    I think your mother is a teeeeeeeny bit jealous of you.

    Yep.

    I didn't realize that my mother was jealous of certain things about my body until I was about 35.

    Spend less time around your family.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    PinkPixiexox wrote: »
    I think your mother is a teeeeeeeny bit jealous of you.

    ^..^ this. ^..^ thank you.

  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
    Your parents and people in your social circle are horrible people. Who gives a flying F what any of them think. Are you happy with yourself? If you've answered yes than ignore the haters. People tend to be jealous of what they don't or can't have.... misery loves company as they say. Rise above! Believe me, I've been thin-shamed by many people that I thought were great friends, by family members and I've been blasted even here more times than I can count. But I don't care. You love YOU, you know what works for you, you have to live in your skin. Screw them!
  • SamandaIndia
    SamandaIndia Posts: 1,577 Member
    dedicatedfitness3244 wrote: »
    After a year I have went from 165lbs to 135lbs. I am 24 years old. This is the smallest I've been in my adult life and I feel great. .

    Wow! So sad that your parents are.missing an opportunity to celebrate with you and leave you with the impression that their love is very much conditional. As long as you are chubby then you are less likely to leave them, so saying you are a slut is a very mean way of ensuring your failure to thrive, so they can keep you close and needy. Plenty of books on boundaries, Co dependency and parents as bullies out there. You have proven you are a strong person. Now as this strong person you are going to face choices of letting them belittle you or you can say things like when you call me a slot I feel hurt. Then use every power of enquiry you have to drill down to why they are doing it. Can be transformational. Can also be crash and burn type of conversation if you are more emotionally mature than your parents then likely the latter. Great work achieving what you have. They did the best to they could, now they might not be capable of more. Good luck!!!!

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  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    UltimateRBF wrote: »
    -move away
    -stand up for yourself and tell them to get bent

    Get bent!!! LOL
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  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    cmtigger wrote: »
    That's not normal parent behavior. Your parents have issues. (Mine do too, it's no fun). They should be happy that their child is healthy, not try to stop it.

    +1
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
    Your parents are HORRIBLE people. A good parent would be proud of their child for improving their health. Cut them out. You don't need such horrendous people in your life.
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    +1 to the advice not to tolerate insults or abuse from anyone, including parents.

    In addition: Some people and even cultures feel that sexuality is so shameful, so dangerous, that they see it *everywhere*, even places where it *isn't*. Hiding one's body in mummifying clothes, or fat (but not, apparently, 'lasciviously' jiggly fat!) becomes a way of burying sexuality; any act that makes one potentially more attractive (whether attractiveness was its motive or not) can be perceived as a sort of sexual overture. Often, special onus is put on women to repress any hint of sexuality because (it is alleged) 'men are weak and can't control themselves'.

    This is (IMO) disordered thinking. Since you seemingly grew up in a sea of such values, you're lucky you haven't become infected with them.

    Be who you are, and good luck navigating the difficulties with your family.

    I completely agree with you. Excellent comment!

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    It could be fear instead of spite that is motivating these parents. Frightened parents may unthinkingly project their worst fears on their children. Which doesn't exactly inspire confidence in the child. It's ill-advised and harmful.
  • alyssagb1
    alyssagb1 Posts: 353 Member
    dedicatedfitness3244 wrote: »
    siluridae wrote: »
    Time to stop talking to the parents then.
    True but I also get a bit of disapproval from others in my community. I live in a conservative region where the average woman is overweight after having kids.

    Jealousy. Don't sweat it.
  • alyssagb1
    alyssagb1 Posts: 353 Member
    maidentl wrote: »
    kiittenforever wrote: »
    Your 24 years old. Live your life. Ignore them.. if you have to bring your sexy and slutty outfits in your purse to avoid their criticizing and confrontation do it. Your probably looking really sexy.. flaunt it. See ya.

    What? :huh:

    Lolol :D
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    If your parents can't be happy for you being healthy and presentable, what CAN they be happy with?
  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
    After "surviving" a toxic environment within my family where amongst other things no matter how I conducted myself I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. The best thing I ever did was put a lot of miles between myself and them.....

    I left at 19 as I was so tired from all the abuse I really didn't think I could on for much longer....it really was a case of survive or not and if I had of changed and engaged in their warped view of the World I would have lost myself within the nightmare....I wouldn't be the me that I can look in the mirror....just a carbon copy of their spitefulness and I didn't want to be that kind of person.

    No-one should ever have to endure this kind of treatment, it is mental torture and not easy to brush aside particularly when it comes from individuals who have been entrusted with the honour of Parenthood....however, at the very least these individuals are misguided in the way they are treating you at worst it is a deliberate and evil attempt to undermine you and destroy your self-worth and your new found health.

    Get away, far away and do everything you need to do to restore your self worth and confidence.

    I am so sorry you are enduring this and I wish you all the best for the future.
  • FitMomOK
    FitMomOK Posts: 66 Member
    okay, agree that your parents are totally inappropriate & to stop listening to their abuse.
    however, i found as i lost weight people definitely looked at my body more. maybe just consider if YOU want the miniskirt. Maybe you want to draw attention to your beautiful face instead. you'll attract certain types of people with skimpier clothes. Maybe you don't need those types anymore. You can be beautiful and slim while still being classy.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
    FitMomOK wrote: »
    okay, agree that your parents are totally inappropriate & to stop listening to their abuse.
    however, i found as i lost weight people definitely looked at my body more. maybe just consider if YOU want the miniskirt. Maybe you want to draw attention to your beautiful face instead. you'll attract certain types of people with skimpier clothes. Maybe you don't need those types anymore. You can be beautiful and slim while still being classy.

    But just the disapproval I get from her when I wear a knee or slightly above knee length skirt is hurtful. Even my father has called me a prostitute. The clothes I'm wearing is rather on the conservative side, a denim mini skirt with a blouse.

    I'm sorry, but seriously, "skimpier?"
  • fishshark
    fishshark Posts: 1,886 Member
    just cause they are your parents doesn't mean you have to like them... I have an almost annoyingly supportive mom..she literally supports anything i do positive or negative because its my life and if its negative i gotta learn lessons.. anyway i can tell you that if that was my parents id get outta there FAST. you are old enough.. time to live your life.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    maidentl wrote: »
    FitMomOK wrote: »
    okay, agree that your parents are totally inappropriate & to stop listening to their abuse.
    however, i found as i lost weight people definitely looked at my body more. maybe just consider if YOU want the miniskirt. Maybe you want to draw attention to your beautiful face instead. you'll attract certain types of people with skimpier clothes. Maybe you don't need those types anymore. You can be beautiful and slim while still being classy.

    But just the disapproval I get from her when I wear a knee or slightly above knee length skirt is hurtful. Even my father has called me a prostitute. The clothes I'm wearing is rather on the conservative side, a denim mini skirt with a blouse.

    I'm sorry, but seriously, "skimpier?"

    Heheh. I know, right? If you won't wear the knee skirts, OP, send them to me :)
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    FitMomOK wrote: »
    okay, agree that your parents are totally inappropriate & to stop listening to their abuse.
    however, i found as i lost weight people definitely looked at my body more. maybe just consider if YOU want the miniskirt. Maybe you want to draw attention to your beautiful face instead. you'll attract certain types of people with skimpier clothes. Maybe you don't need those types anymore. You can be beautiful and slim while still being classy.

    You sound like a really polite and modern version of OP's mom.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited October 2015
    jgnatca wrote: »
    Yoga pants and the shaming that I believe comes from a kind of over-fastidiousness, brought to mind this lady:
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/a-christian-blogger-stopped-wearing-yoga-pants-for-her-husba

    I think it's hilarious that the blogger in the article thinks yoga pants are enticing and thus not ok, but that this publicity shot is ok and therefore not enticing:

    enhanced-3208-1422293123-1.png



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