The i am not fat anymore struggle?

Yes. I used to be 190 pounds 12 years ago. I went all the way down to 109 and ever since I've fluctuated between that and 140 when I stop working out/caring what I eat. 140 pounds is my "oh my god you're going to be 190 again if you don't step it up right now" weight. Whenever I see it on the scale, I lose weight again. When I lose weight, my mind still focuses on the negative parts of my body and the parts I want to change. My line of thinking varies between me thinking "Wow, I really did lose weight!" and "Hmm, this still looks the same and you still don't look right here." I think the fact that we used to be obese is going to stick with us for a long time. It's that mentality of "this was me once, so will this be me again if I slip up down the line?" People will tell us we look good, not to worry, etc. but it doesn't matter in the end. It sucks.

Yes, but I'm actaully still pretty fat.

Yup I still fill the same way, even though it's been a year and 20lbs lost. Everyone always tells me "you're not fat, stop!" But to me, I'm still that same almost 200lb girl.

I still have a way to go, so I'm not necessarily thin, but I'm no longer obese.

I've lost 60lbs since my highest weight. About 10 lbs ago, I was over the moon and saw how amazing I look. Suddenly, I feel like I don't look any different. I know that I do, but I don't see it anymore. I don't see it in pictures, I don't see it in the mirror, I just don't see it. I know that the clothes I used to wear are hanging off of me. I know that the pants I'm wearing used to not even pull all the way up. I'm just at a weird place right now.

It ebbs and flows. Eventually your brain will catch up. It helps to have other people around you that you can talk to about this stuff. My husband is great and reminds me that I look amazing. It really does help.

Yes, I go through that. We see ourselves every day, so the changes are hard to notice. These days, I notice my loose skin hanging down more and know I've lost. That is a better gauge for me, lol. That's not something I'm used to seeing, so it screams "You've lost more weight!"

Just the other day, I logged my weight as 175.2. I was like, "Is that wrong? No, that's what the scale said. It was .2." I kept thinking it was off, though, and suddenly realized DUH! I'm 157, not 175! The transposition didn't look wrong. I'm not at these new weights long enough for them to seem correct, ever. 175, 157...it's all the same to me at this point.

My thought about my size have changed, though. It took a long time (certainly longer for me than for others I've seen post about this), but it's starting to happen. Some of the Fat Girl thoughts have left my brain. I think my brain is sometimes still a little behind my body, but I'm catching up.

It just takes time. When everything is constantly changing, it's hard for the brain to keep up.

I may always feel fat.

I really hate my loose skin. X( It makes me look flabby IMHO.

enterdanger wrote: »

I'm the opposite. I don't feel fat or think of myself as fat, but I am most certainly fat. I'm 40lbs overweight. Which actually puts me in the obese bmi range. But I feel good and I still think I'm cute.

Self perception is a funny thing.

Thinking you're cute, you might really be. Plenty of women I know carry way more fat than I ever could while still being cute. Also, yay confidence, which always makes anyone cuter!

yes, though I've been slowly starting to see myself as a thinner than i was.
I wouldn't worry too much. maybe it takes our brain a minute to catch up with our bodies

Kalikel wrote: »

Just the other day, I logged my weight as 175.2. I was like, "Is that wrong? No, that's what the scale said. It was .2." I kept thinking it was off, though, and suddenly realized DUH! I'm 157, not 175! The transposition didn't look wrong. I'm not at these new weights long enough for them to seem correct, ever. 175, 157...it's all the same to me at this point.

This exactly happened to me the other day down to the numbers. I looked at the scale and saw 157 and thought, the scale is broken, you didn't lose 20 pounds in a couple days. 176 was my starting weight, so I have that number stuck in my head and so it is easy for me to believe I'm still there. I'm healthier than I've been in a long time, and that's what matters, even if I still want to lose a bit more.

enterdanger wrote: »

I'm the opposite. I don't feel fat or think of myself as fat, but I am most certainly fat. I'm 40lbs overweight. Which actually puts me in the obese bmi range. But I feel good and I still think I'm cute.

Self perception is a funny thing.

This is so me, except that I am good 100lbs overweight. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW I'm fat, but I don't feel how fat I really am until I see a picture or my refection. That's depressing!!!

besaro wrote: »

@ RolemodelmomT i was exactly the same way. it wasn't till i passed in front of a mirror or had to buy clothes. i never really felt fat. now that I've lost 100, i feel fat. my brain is an *kitten* sometimes.

Trying on clothes. Blech. Sometimes it's rough at any weight, especially for us borderline petites!

dolliesdaughter wrote: »

WBB55 wrote: »

*Grabs XL size from clothing rack.*
Says: "I'm so glad I'm not a size 22/24 anymore. Doo, doo, doo..."
*Tries on XL and looks in mirror*
Says: "How come this XL size is so big?!?"
*Remembers she's now actually a M.*

I have accepted I'm not obese. Seven years later I still don't understand that the size Ms on the rack will fit me now.

This is me to a "T". I was doing some volunteer work and we all had to wear the logo'd tshirt, the director hands me a shirt and said, "Here you go, medium right?" I said, "No, XL a medium is too small." She looked at me like I was crazy and told me to put on the shirt and come back if I still needed the XL. She didn't know me at the heavier weight. Yes, the medium fit just fine.

this happened to me the other day ..

I went kayaking for the first time and the guy who was welcoming me took me over to the life preservers, looked me up and down said 'mm small medium' and picked up a life preserver .. I opened my mouth to say ' WHAT you cant be serious I am NOT a small medium' but was too embarrased so went off to try and wear it .. of course it fitted fine ...?!

Being overweight in my head takes longer to get rid of than the actual fat

besaro wrote: »

@ RolemodelmomT i was exactly the same way. it wasn't till i passed in front of a mirror or had to buy clothes. i never really felt fat. now that I've lost 100, i feel fat. my brain is an *kitten* sometimes.

I can relate to this. I have lost about 25 pounds, and I feel so much better, but now it's starting to dawn on me exactly how fat I was. I think the issue is that there are a lot of plus-size women in my life who have always been much larger than me, and I used to compare myself to them and think "I'm not so bad." Now, I'm starting to compare myself to the "normal" size women around me and realizing I have a long way to go.

I can relate. I've lost 50 pounds and I still don't really see myself as healthy or fit.

I think it takes the brain a while to catch up to the body. That's normal, to an extent. The best cure for that is time and patience. You'll get used to the new you.

(If, on the other hand, you are really struggling with your body image longer term, it could be a sign of body dysmorphia, so keep an eye on it.)

When