nothing can motivate me ..
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hiraraeesi wrote: »thanks to all.. i m really feeling better after reading all above posts and a bit motivatedn its just may be that no one motivated and ever understood what i really wanted.. i always wanted support which i never had..
if i 'd asked my family plz not to bring fatty foods they were always like .." its not our fault that u r fat.."
my friends always complimented that" ya u lookin good today if u were skinnnier u wd 've looked more beautiful"
and today i was so motivated to join a local gym.. when i informed my brother he was like.. " ya ya.. i ve been watchin u struggling to weight lose from my childhood u still the same"
Here's the deal - your family have their own insecurities - but they don't have to be yours.
Go to the gym. Say **** You to anybody who doesn't like it.0 -
mnmiranda05 wrote: »It is a struggle to get started, but trust me you don't want your motivation to become mine. I'm not even 25 years old and I weigh over 300 lbs. I was just diagnosed with high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes. That is my motivation. If I don't change my life, I won't have one to live. My advice to you is to not think about how much you weigh or what you want to lose. Instead, think about what you want to gain. You want to gain confidence. You want to gain health. You want to keep your relationship. Don't do it just for your looks. Do it for everything else. And then take it one day at a time. When you find yourself wanting or reaching for something unhealthy, stop yourself and debate what would be a better alternative. Want a glass of soda? Reach for water instead. Want a chocolate chip cookie? Get your sugar fix from a serving of fruit. Moderation and proper serving sizes is keep to keeping a healthy life. Don't plan too far in advance and try not to get down when you have a setback because it will happen. But keep in mind what you want and put the work into and you'll get there.
Really nice post.
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slideaway1 wrote: »You just need to start. Once you start exercising and paying attention to your calories/nutrition you will get into a rhythm. You will slowly see results which will encourage you to continue and form new habits. Hopefully by then it will turn into a lifestyle change. The hardest part is starting though and committing to it with purpose. Good luck.
You do not need to start exercising. This is utter crap. I lost about 40 pounds last year in about six months and i did not do any exercise. I only do veyr moderate exercise now and i do it for my health, not for weight loss.
Thinking you have to do a ton of exercise makes losing weight harder. Especially when you are depressed because the last thing you want to do when you are depressed is exercise. I remember very well how it feels.
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Correct: You have to want to change to change. if you don't, failure is imminent. bottom line
The point about this is, wanting to change is just the start. You have to take a lot of other steps to prepare before you are ready and able to start cutting back calories. You see when you are feeling well and happy, eating a bit less is easy. You do not have to struggle against yoruself all the time. The reason its like this is because your hormones when you are depressed make you hungry. The hormone in question is seratonin but there could be others involved. And on top of that, you are probably eating a lot of carby things which don't really satisfy you. and it becomes a vicious circle.
Incorrect: Motivation only takes you so far. Discipline is what enables you to push on even when you don't feel like it.
The latter one is not even logical. Behind discipline is motivation. That said, i do not believe discipolien is a particularly useful word here. I think restraint is a better one. But when you want something good for yourself more than you want something which is bad for yourself, it is quite easy to restrain yourself so discipline is not an issue.0 -
People don't care about things they hate. The first thing you need to be able to do is really take care of and appreciate yourself. It can be hard to change your habits, especially when you find comfort in food. I still do, from time to time, but I also find comfort in other things. Confiding in friends. Writing. Running, sometimes. Channel that emotional energy into something else. Talk to a professional, if you can, even for a short while, about why you hate your body and eat emotionally.
Ignore the people in your life treating your body like it isn't valuable and amazing, just because it's not a shape they don't like. Your family sounds genuinely mean, and that's not productive. *kitten* those people. If you have the habit of thinking the same sort of things at yourself ("I hate my ____" or "Why should I bother, I've never succeeded?" or "No one will love me if I can't lose the weight," etc), try to unlearn that habit . When I started appreciating and loving my body without adding caveats or addendums, I was able to treat it well and appreciate the work it takes to lose weight.
Loving yourself is an exhausting and emotional choice you have to make every day, but it's vital and it'll do you a world of good.0 -
People don't care about things they hate. The first thing you need to be able to do is really take care of and appreciate yourself. It can be hard to change your habits, especially when you find comfort in food. I still do, from time to time, but I also find comfort in other things. Confiding in friends. Writing. Running, sometimes. Channel that emotional energy into something else. Talk to a professional, if you can, even for a short while, about why you hate your body and eat emotionally.
Ignore the people in your life treating your body like it isn't valuable and amazing, just because it's not a shape they don't like. Your family sounds genuinely mean, and that's not productive. *kitten* those people. If you have the habit of thinking the same sort of things at yourself ("I hate my ____" or "Why should I bother, I've never succeeded?" or "No one will love me if I can't lose the weight," etc), try to unlearn that habit . When I started appreciating and loving my body without adding caveats or addendums, I was able to treat it well and appreciate the work it takes to lose weight.
Loving yourself is an exhausting and emotional choice you have to make every day, but it's vital and it'll do you a world of good.
Good point!
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If your family brings over high fat foods why not weigh out 4oz and eat that? Then if there are left overs weight them out too and freeze them. Look up the calories in that food on MFP and record it. Once you start weighing your food and then only eating that portion, you'll start to take back control of not only your eating, but of your life. If your family doesn't like the weighing, tough luck.
They have a chance at life, their own, and you also have your one shot at life. I know they love you and you love them, but it's time to be an adult with them. Once they see you in action, weighing food and losing weight, they will have lots of respect for you, whether they admit it to you or not.
As for exercise, it will make your body and mind feel better and you'll gain confidence in and with your body. Just go slowly at first. We need to learn to crawl before we can walk type of thing.0 -
markburnett70 wrote: »Here's that blog post, you may need to copy and paste the address into your browser:
The Secret Ingredient You Need for Stronger Motivation ‹ Hello Healthy https://blog.myfitnesspal.com/the-secret-ingredient-you-need-for-stronger-motivation/
Thank you so much for posting this! Definitely something I needed to read!0 -
Do you mind if I ask what your stats are and what your goals are?
i.e.:
Height / Weight / Age
total pounds you want to lose
current goal (i.e. lose 2 pounds a week; lose by x date; lose in a year... etc)
Do you log your food?
Do you weigh or measure it (scale and cups)?
What's your lifestyle? (work at a desk job? go to the gym? what kind of exercise)
Part of me wonders if the desire to eat and eat and the feeling of futility is tied to (or partially affected by) how you are going about trying to lose the weight.0 -
Patttience wrote: »slideaway1 wrote: »You just need to start. Once you start exercising and paying attention to your calories/nutrition you will get into a rhythm. You will slowly see results which will encourage you to continue and form new habits. Hopefully by then it will turn into a lifestyle change. The hardest part is starting though and committing to it with purpose. Good luck.
You do not need to start exercising. This is utter crap. I lost about 40 pounds last year in about six months and i did not do any exercise. I only do veyr moderate exercise now and i do it for my health, not for weight loss.
Thinking you have to do a ton of exercise makes losing weight harder. Especially when you are depressed because the last thing you want to do when you are depressed is exercise. I remember very well how it feels.
I could not care less about how you lost weight. I was responding to the OP. I mentioned calories and nutrition too. Exercise was a suggestion to make her feel better about her self and help make creating a deficit easier. I have the opposite experience with how exercise helps tremendously with depression/anxiety/self confidence.0 -
slideaway1 wrote: »
I could not care less about how you lost weight. I was responding to the OP. I mentioned calories and nutrition too. Exercise was a suggestion to make her feel better about her self and help make creating a deficit easier. I have the opposite experience with how exercise helps tremendously with depression/anxiety/self confidence.Patttience wrote: »slideaway1 wrote: »You just need to start. Once you start exercising and paying attention to your calories/nutrition you will get into a rhythm. You will slowly see results which will encourage you to continue and form new habits. Hopefully by then it will turn into a lifestyle change. The hardest part is starting though and committing to it with purpose. Good luck.
You do not need to start exercising. This is utter crap. I lost about 40 pounds last year in about six months and i did not do any exercise. I only do veyr moderate exercise now and i do it for my health, not for weight loss.
Thinking you have to do a ton of exercise makes losing weight harder. Especially when you are depressed because the last thing you want to do when you are depressed is exercise. I remember very well how it feels.
Is exercise required? no
Is exercise beneficial? Hell YES
exercise:
- allows you to eat more, so if you love to eat, exercise gives you more room
- it helps strengthen your body - muscles, bones, organs
- the actual act of exercising releases endorphins - feel good drugs into your system --- It's a natural high
- helps you feel powerful - as you get stronger, as you feel healthier
- sweat is good for your skin
Do you have to do a tonne of it? No! Keeping everything else the same (even eating habits), adding even a little more exercise to your life will help.
@Patttience - you have some good points, but I agree with @slideaway1
eta... when depressed the last thing you may WANT to do is exercise... but I am willing to bet that if you can force yourself to get up and do SOMETHING... even a fast paced walk... it WILL help. It's a great cure for depression. Exercise (intense exercise) kept me sane during my divorce.0 -
You can have all of us telling you can do it, but unless you believe it yourself, it won't work. You need to figure out your OWN motivation. Take a good, honest look at why YOU want to lose weight. Not what we tell you, not what your doctor tells you, not what your friends tell you. But YOUR reason. And it doesn't have to be 'to be healthy'. That honestly wasn't mine. My doctor told me I needed to lose weight, I knew I needed to lose weight, I hated that I went up in pant size. But I would try, lose motivation and give up. For me, what got me going and kept me going was the fact that I got my wedding pictures back and I looked fat in them. I didn't look like myself, so that was the motivation I needed to actually keep going when I wanted to give up or when I screwed up. I know one girl that wanted to lose weight to have better sex. Another person I talked to didn't want to end up looking like their boss. So you need to find your own reason for losing weight, not what others tell you. External motivation is nice, but fleeting. If you can't motivate yourself for your own reasons, you'll keep giving up.
You don't have to cut out your favorite foods, just start lowering the AMOUNT you eat. You don't have to switch to 'rabbit food' or follow some diet plan you don't enjoy. If you start lowering the amount you eat, you will start to retrain your brain and body to what a proper food portion is supposed to be, and that will help you keep the weight off for the future. You also don't have to exercise if you don't want to or can't. Exercise is NOT necessicary for weight loss. It's good for other things, but you can lose weight just by controling your calorie intake.
You will have bad days. You will have days you go over by accident, unexpected dinners out or celebrations, and of course, holidays. There will also be days where you just don't give a crap. When you have off days, log it and start fresh the next day. Going over doesn't make you a failure or sabotage your progress. It just makes you human. That can take a while to internalize, but being able to forgive yourself for making mistakes is a tool that will be very valuable for the future.0 -
MireyGal76 wrote: »Do you mind if I ask what your stats are and what your goals are?
i.e.:
Height / Weight / Age
total pounds you want to lose
current goal (i.e. lose 2 pounds a week; lose by x date; lose in a year... etc)
Do you log your food?
Do you weigh or measure it (scale and cups)?
What's your lifestyle? (work at a desk job? go to the gym? what kind of exercise)
Part of me wonders if the desire to eat and eat and the feeling of futility is tied to (or partially affected by) how you are going about trying to lose the weight.
Height / 5.6"
Weight / 207 lbs
Age / 27
total pounds you want to lose 70
current goal losing 1 kg a week
(i.e. lose 2 pounds a week; lose by x date; lose in a year... etc)
Do you log your food?
its been just 5 days that i ve started logging my food
Do you weigh or measure it (scale and cups)?
No. i ve never measured my food ever
What's your lifestyle? (work at a desk job? go to the gym? what kind of exercise)
i dont exercise .. and currently i am not working..
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Commander_Keen wrote: »[get him to go to the gym with you, at least for 10 sessions.
After 10 sessions, I would like to hope you will feel comfortable going to the gym alone, if you needed to
hi commander_Keen .. thanks .. thats a good idea..
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fiddletime wrote: »If your family brings over high fat foods why not weigh out 4oz and eat that? Then if there are left overs weight them out too and freeze them. Look up the calories in that food on MFP and record it. Once you start weighing your food and then only eating that portion, you'll start to take back control of not only your eating, but of your life. If your family doesn't like the weighing, tough luck.
They have a chance at life, their own, and you also have your one shot at life. I know they love you and you love them, but it's time to be an adult with them. Once they see you in action, weighing food and losing weight, they will have lots of respect for you, whether they admit it to you or not.
As for exercise, it will make your body and mind feel better and you'll gain confidence in and with your body. Just go slowly at first. We need to learn to crawl before we can walk type of thing.
thankx i ll definitely do that..0 -
hi to all.. its not that i tried nothing..i tried the dress tactic .. attended various workshops .. tried Slimming clin. yes i am depressed and it was worst when my dad passed away.. i did consult a counsellor even a Reiki healer.. and i never wanted to rely on depression pills..in the end i realized they cant do anything until i Really WANt the change... i0
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hiraraeesi wrote: »MireyGal76 wrote: »Do you mind if I ask what your stats are and what your goals are?
i.e.:
Height / Weight / Age
total pounds you want to lose
current goal (i.e. lose 2 pounds a week; lose by x date; lose in a year... etc)
Do you log your food?
Do you weigh or measure it (scale and cups)?
What's your lifestyle? (work at a desk job? go to the gym? what kind of exercise)
Part of me wonders if the desire to eat and eat and the feeling of futility is tied to (or partially affected by) how you are going about trying to lose the weight.
Height / 5.6"
Weight / 207 lbs
Age / 27
total pounds you want to lose 70
current goal losing 1 kg a week
(i.e. lose 2 pounds a week; lose by x date; lose in a year... etc)
Do you log your food?
its been just 5 days that i ve started logging my food
Do you weigh or measure it (scale and cups)?
No. i ve never measured my food ever
What's your lifestyle? (work at a desk job? go to the gym? what kind of exercise)
i dont exercise .. and currently i am not working..
Ok... so here are some numbers...
According to your stats (pumped into this site http://www.shapesense.com/fitness-exercise/calculators/daily-caloric-expenditure-calculator.aspx) your current daily calorie expenditure is around 2090.
If you have your goal set to lose 1kg (aka 2.2 pounds a week) you're being told to only consume 1200 calories.
This corresponds to eating AT LEAST HALF of what you would normally be eating - and that won't even give you a 2lb a week loss!
My recommendation is this...
1) reset your goal to one that is less aggressive. Allow yourself to eat more food. Allow yourself to lose weight at a slower rate.
Yes I know you hate being overweight. Yes I know you want the weight gone. But I also know that you would have to be incredibly disciplined and motivated to be able to start eating HALF of what you normally eat! It's a lot to handle mentally, and if you turn to food when stressed, it's a solid indicator that your plan will fail.
2) start measuring your food out and LOG EVERYTHING.
Yes I know that this is a huge pain in the assy. Yes I know that it feels obsessive. But I also know (from experience) how easy it is to underestimate because you are hungry. I kill my day with dips and sauces. I used to LOVE ranch dressing... I'd have like 5 tbsp (conservative) at dinner - with my chicken, with my potatoes... at 70 cals a pop... BAM! There goes 350 calories!!!
3) start exercising. even a little.
You mentioned you aren't working. I recommend taking half an hour, put in some music, and go walking. Walk outside, walk inside, just walk. Walk fast. Maybe consider adding in a little jogging time. It's a great time to figure stuff out, and... if you walk for 45 mins at a moderate pace... you can add about 150 cals to your day.
4) take measurements and BEFORE pics (front, side back - relaxed), then put your scale away for a month.
This is hard. We are driven by numbers. But commit to the first three for a month and then when the month is over... Weigh again. Take another set of pics. Measure again. I am pretty sure that if you are honest with yourself for the month, you'll see changes.
and lastly...
Remember this is a lifetime solution. You want to find a lifestyle you can LIVE. One you can enjoy. 1200 cal diets may help you drop weight fast, but they don't teach you how to manage your calories. Often they lead to bingeing because you WANT FOOD... and when you finally cave in, you go batshiz crazy.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1318741/in-5-weeks-youll-lose-10lbs-why-is-it-not-working/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1343719/get-rich-quick/p10 -
First, I'd like to say that I've dealt with body image issues my whole life...at 46, I'm finally comfortable with myself.....Here's the thing I've learned over the years: Our bodies "hear" what we are telling ourselves....if we think "I hate my stomach" or "no one will want me because of my stretchmarks"...then we really start believing it....Think positive, strong thoughts...tell yourself "I CAN" and "I WILL"...if it helps, seek positive affirmations that you can use daily, to remind yourself of where you want to be, and of your true value. You deserve to be happy, fat or thin, with who you are. Good luck xo0
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I completely understand where you are coming from. Instead of fighting your love of food, why not embrace it, but in a healthier way?
-Count your calories (don't set your goal too low) and make the best use of them. If you're not really a big breakfast fan for instance, eat something low cal and save your calories fro the rest of the day. If you eat fairly healthy, you can eat every few hours. I know I do! You can even work in a little treat every day. I'm losing and I do this.
-Identify your eating habits. Can't resist junk food? Don't keep it in the house or in your sight. Eat when you're bored? Go read a book. Sad? Take up a hobby. By occupying yourself you will not only be too distracted to eat, you'll become happier in general and will no longer need to eat your emotions.
-Be proactive. Shop for the groceries and make the food yourself.
When you set yourself up for success and not failure, you will achieve your dreams. Good luck!0
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