The weight/fat gain with Parenthood dilema
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I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.0
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Lol, before being parents, my DW and I ate out exclusively. Rarely cooked at home till we had my daughter.Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.
Nope, you're not the only oddball! I'm thinner now than before my daughter came along. Having a busy toddler has kept me more active; being a parent has also increased my motivation to exercise for health. However, I do wonder what it will be like when she's older and not looking to me for entertainment. If I will be more sedentary once she's independent.0 -
The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
I have twins as well and it isn't. I carve the little time I have to work out or me time but it is usually at the expense of sleep. They are very active so I feel like I am constantly fighting fatigue.0 -
Bbeliever215 wrote: »The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
I have twins as well and it isn't. I carve the little time I have to work out or me time but it is usually at the expense of sleep. They are very active so I feel like I am constantly fighting fatigue.
I also have twins, and am a single mom. I look back on when I used to be able to come home from work and go for a run whenever, however long I wanted. Now I don't sit down until they go to bed. You'd think all that runnign around for them would help with weightloss, but severe post-partum depression found me. Eating was my only "fun" thing I got to do for myself. Now that they are 5, I am finally turning the corner and finding some time for myself and making taking care of myself more of a priority. It is still a struggle though.0 -
Ha, I can relate to this. I was always obese in adulthood (basically I went from overweight to obese my first year away at university) but I had made lifestyle changes and lost almost 50 lbs prior to getting pregnant with my first. Gained almost 70 lbs, lost just over half and got pregnant again. Gained 30 lbs which put me right at the same final weight.
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.0 -
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.
I remember those days blearily. What I found worked for me was limiting TV time for my older son to only during the baby's nap time. So he would happily sit and watch TV while I put the baby down and then got a short nap myself. Since he knew that was the only TV time he was going to get, he was pretty good at watching quietly and not getting into anything. I was lucky, in this, I know.
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I'm 20 pounds down from my pre pregnancy weight with three kids, 6, 7 and 13. It's easier now for me to be slimmer. I have to take care of myself and provide an example for them. Pre kids I lived on takeout and beer and stayed out until 4 in the morning. Now I solely cook at home and I quit drinking with the first pregnancy and never picked it back up. My choices are better now because I always have three sets of eyes on me.0
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Ha, I can relate to this. I was always obese in adulthood (basically I went from overweight to obese my first year away at university) but I had made lifestyle changes and lost almost 50 lbs prior to getting pregnant with my first. Gained almost 70 lbs, lost just over half and got pregnant again. Gained 30 lbs which put me right at the same final weight.
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.
But none of that is necessary for weight loss or health. You don't have to do any formal "exercise" to get enough exercise for health. And if you eat at a deficit you will lose weight.0 -
I don't think having children has had that much of an impact on my weight. I put on a lot of weight with both pregnancies but I also lost it all quickly afterwards. I am much more active running around after my toddler and taking both boys out for walks/activities each day. I don't eat as much during the day as I don't have the time and I'm also much more content being at home with my family. I also eat the same meals and portion sizes as my eldest (he's a big boy!).
The biggest problem with my weight has been work. Sitting on my backside all day in an office has me snacking all day and then coming home in the evening I just wanted to sit and snack all night to unwind. I'm due to go back working part time evenings just before Christmas so I'm hoping this is a good compromise!0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.
True, it's such a pain to go out to eat with the kids, we don't do it that much. And we've never done take out because it would take longer to go out for take out than to stay home and cook anyway... For activities, well, it depends on your kids I guess. I have one who HATES walking so we quit hiking after a few attempts because it was miserable for all of us, and it makes staying active on vacations a challenge too.
Then I guess there's the fact that most kids are more willing to eat pizza and chicken nuggets than grilled chicken and veggies.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Ha, I can relate to this. I was always obese in adulthood (basically I went from overweight to obese my first year away at university) but I had made lifestyle changes and lost almost 50 lbs prior to getting pregnant with my first. Gained almost 70 lbs, lost just over half and got pregnant again. Gained 30 lbs which put me right at the same final weight.
Now that baby #2 is 7.5 months old I'm finally taking time for me and making health a priority again, but it would be very easy not to. For now exercise is limited to walking but once I get back from a pre-planned vacation (I leave in less than a week) I am going to be adding in some strength training and some more intense cardio. But it's hard to imagine lifting or doing a heavy workout on a day like today when the baby was up every hour last night and up for the day at 5:30 AM and I have a 3 year old so I can't nap! There isn't enough caffeine in the world for days like today :P.
But none of that is necessary for weight loss or health. You don't have to do any formal "exercise" to get enough exercise for health. And if you eat at a deficit you will lose weight.
Oh, I know
. I was pretty successful at weight loss before having babies. But when I'm not active I tend to get into a rut of not leaving the couch... except to eat. 0 -
WJS_jeepster wrote: »Bbeliever215 wrote: »The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
I have twins as well and it isn't. I carve the little time I have to work out or me time but it is usually at the expense of sleep. They are very active so I feel like I am constantly fighting fatigue.
I also have twins, and am a single mom. I look back on when I used to be able to come home from work and go for a run whenever, however long I wanted. Now I don't sit down until they go to bed. You'd think all that runnign around for them would help with weightloss, but severe post-partum depression found me. Eating was my only "fun" thing I got to do for myself. Now that they are 5, I am finally turning the corner and finding some time for myself and making taking care of myself more of a priority. It is still a struggle though.
Hugs! Yes the struggle is real and congrats to a new lifestyle! I thoughts so too especially with the breastfeeding which only makes me hungrier...smdh0 -
shortly after my second son was born, my wife and decided we really needed to change some things...we both had gained weight and sat around 220 at my heaviest...neither one of us did much in the way of exercise and I was also a heavy smoker.
we initially came at this from the POV that as parents go, we waited awhile so we're both older...we kind of looked into the future and thought that if we kept on the way we were that maybe we wouldn't be in the best of health when our kids would merely be of middle school and high school age...a lot of my blood work confirmed that for me. so basically, we initially set out to just be healthier people so that hopefully we could be alive an healthy to watch our boys grow up.
a great bonus has been that kids really do follow the example. both boys love riding their bikes and my oldest loves cycling behind me in his cycle trailer (3 y.o. still gets pulled in a standard trailer) and he's stoked to be doing a half century with me at the end of October. Both of my boys also like doing yoga with me in the living room...and my eldest likes it when I take him to my training sessions; not sure if he just likes to watch the lifts or if he just likes seeing daddy get throttled.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »I must be the oddball. I found it much easier to stay thin when I had children at home. It was only after they grew up that I found weight creeping on. There was always some activity going on when the kids were around, plus it was more expensive to eat in a restaurant when there more of use and we were not so estabilished in our careers so we had less money so we ate at home most of the time.
True, it's such a pain to go out to eat with the kids, we don't do it that much. And we've never done take out because it would take longer to go out for take out than to stay home and cook anyway... For activities, well, it depends on your kids I guess. I have one who HATES walking so we quit hiking after a few attempts because it was miserable for all of us, and it makes staying active on vacations a challenge too.
Then I guess there's the fact that most kids are more willing to eat pizza and chicken nuggets than grilled chicken and veggies.
I'm old, I guess. In our house there was dinner and you either ate it or went hungry. Though I really don't remember my kids ever fighting me much over food. Either they were just little angels or they knew there was no point. I wasn't about to go cook some nuggets just because someone didn't like my roasted chicken. I'd just hand them the ketchup bottle. Ketchup seemed to make everything palatable.0 -
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I'm finding with a lot of my clients whose kids have moved on to college, that their kids after school activities (sports, dance, band,etc.) took up a lot of their time for themselves. My cousin was in band and the weekends were basically spent during his highschool years, attending competitions across the state. The parents footed all the expenses since there was hardly any support money from the schools (lol, yet they claimed the bands excellence in competition placing). My aunt and uncle were spending at least $200 a week. And out on the road on the weekends, lots of the foods were canned, prepped, etc. Stress and food...............great combination for weight gain.The truth is that when the kids are little it can be pretty challenging to find the motivation to cook and exercise. I mean yeah, it's an excuse, but I had twins and it wasn't easy!
Yes, as a mother of almost 3 year old twins, I agree. It's only now that they are getting more independent and I have found a way to prioritize my/our family's health.
About 3 weeks after the girls were born, I was still carrying roughly 10kg above my pre-pregnancy weight. The mind-bending fatigue that comes with small babies made it easier for me to have ice-cream for dinner or lunch depending on whether my husband was away or not. And then I had 25 kg to lose instead of 10.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
My sister's 8 and 12 year olds are on the crazy after school activities schedule. They play at least one sport, and usually another sport or an additional league. They're in plays. Etc. Fortunately, she doesn't work outside the home. She jokes about all her years of college to be a chauffeur.0 -
I think its the utter total exhaustion and frustration (usually with my exhusband, not the kids) that sometimes pushes me to the little kid snacks in the evening after they are in bed. They are things I wouldn't even buy if I didn't have kids.
I DO try to make healthy dinner for all of us and usually cook every night or have the crockpot going. I try to run while they are at sports practices and we all go on a 3 mile hike on Sunday mornings which is part trail-run and part hike. I also get up before they do so I have an hour to work out in the mornings but I think the thing that crushes me is the little bits of "kid food" here and there.0 -
Threads and conversations like this kind of hit a nerve with me. The numbers quoted above are about right on for me- I have two kids (ages 4 and 6) and I weigh about 20lbs more than I did before I had them. I am trying to lose 10 of that, but I am going to maintain at 10 over, which is where I was for a while until I ate badly for a few months and experienced a lot of stress.
I actually did manage to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight for about a year, but then I started to have all kinds of health problems. After a number of medical tests, we basically came to the conclusion that the problem was that all my exercise time has to come out of sleep. I work 8 hours a day, spend about an hour and a half a day ferrying kids and getting back and forth to work, and the rest of the time is child care and the usual drudgery of life. I tried for a while to take exercise time out of work, but I was so behind at work I was stressed and also putting myself in a position to lose my job. After we figured out a "sleep first" plan, I am much healthier- actually perfectly healthy- just 10 lbs. heavier (when I get back to that). And, after spending months on crutches and having MRIs for neurological symptoms, I will definitely take healthy and 10lbs heavier. So, I make sure I get at least 7.5 hours of sleep per night (I really need about 8.5 but that is probably never going to happen- that is how much I slept per night before kids). I get in about 4 hours of exercise per week, and a lot of times I don't have the energy to do anything very high intensity. That is down from the 7 hours I was getting when I got down to pre-pregnancy weight.
I think another part of the problem is that it is perfectly great to "stay active" and "do healthy things" with your kids, but they are just slower. I walk, bike, hike and occasionally run with my kids. But, I have to do these things at such a slow speed, that I never get my heart rate up. So, they are fun and they train the kids to be active, but they aren't really exercise for me.
So, I think a lot of people should probably just focus on health and not on weight. I think there is a lot of pressure to do it all, and sometimes you just can't. I would rather spend time with my family, do my job properly, and be healthy than get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. YMMV.0 -
I don't like it when parents let their kids become their excuse for slacking. Four kids here and doing great. Youngest two are just 1 and 2. My husband and I cook all our meals, we both work, and I'm in school. Weekends are spent doing something active together. And we don't have outside help, it's all us. It doesn't have to happen to you if you don't let it....0
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hello? I can't believe nobody mentioned the obvious reason for weight gain, unless I missed it..
drum roll please: You eat their left overs, the last couple of bites of a grilled cheese, pizza crust...the cupcake after they ate the icing off.. (or is that just me????) now that we are a family of 4 we eat out a lot less, because..well expensive..and my kids are 3 and 6 and not what I consider restaurant appropriate..I did gain 83lbs with my first pregnancy, but that was because I ate A LOT of donuts and bagels and pancakes. And I mean A LOT.0 -
hello? I can't believe nobody mentioned the obvious reason for weight gain, unless I missed it..
drum roll please: You eat their left overs, the last couple of bites of a grilled cheese, pizza crust...the cupcake after they ate the icing off.. (or is that just me????) now that we are a family of 4 we eat out a lot less, because..well expensive..and my kids are 3 and 6 and not what I consider restaurant appropriate..I did gain 83lbs with my first pregnancy, but that was because I ate A LOT of donuts and bagels and pancakes. And I mean A LOT.
Oh I did this for a long time--it takes so much willpower not to clean their plates for them. I really do hate throwing away food.0 -
hello? I can't believe nobody mentioned the obvious reason for weight gain, unless I missed it..
drum roll please: You eat their left overs, the last couple of bites of a grilled cheese, pizza crust...the cupcake after they ate the icing off.. (or is that just me????) now that we are a family of 4 we eat out a lot less, because..well expensive..and my kids are 3 and 6 and not what I consider restaurant appropriate..I did gain 83lbs with my first pregnancy, but that was because I ate A LOT of donuts and bagels and pancakes. And I mean A LOT.
There's no way I'm eating my kids leftovers. Let's say I don't trust their hygiene and hand washing and I don't feel like eating poop.0 -
I went from being childless to having 4 within a couple years. (Yes, twins) During pregnancy, breast feeding and the 10 yrs that followed i managed to gain close to 100lbs more than my pre - pregnancy weight of 200lbs. Delivered pizza for supper anyone?
It wasn't until my boys became pretty self sufficient and I turned 30 that i took a step back and decided i wanted to do somethings for myself. Loosing weight, quitting smoking and going back to school were the big 3 desires of my heart.
I'm now 33yrs old. I've lost 105lbs, I'm more than a year smokefree and planning to go back to school next year. Someone above made mention of a messier house in order to have the time. True that! But really though i can clean up and go to the gym and come home and it looks like i didnt do anything before i left! So, i'd rather spend that time lifting weights.
Chin up and chest out parents, we're all doing the best we can for ours.0 -
so many parents of twins here. The statistician in me wonders why that is.0
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WJS_jeepster wrote: »so many parents of twins here. The statistician in me wonders why that is.
Probably the extra stress and exhaustion LOL.
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I think there is truth to it but at the same time kinda stupid. I believe age period makes it harder to lose wieght along with jobs ect. You chose to be healthy and active. Go be active with your kids. If they are little put them in a jogging stroller...weather permitting. When you consider how many kids are overweight there is something wrong! I have a 2 year that already does push up, squats, burpes ect because of watching me. Kids should be a reason to be healthy and want to live longer not an excuse to be fat. And as far as eatting, kids can eat healthy if you raise them that way!0
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This is what im talking aboutjhmomofmany wrote: »I held on to significant weight after each of my first few pregnancies. Looking back, I know I was using my kids as an excuse for not "having time" to exercise. And I told myself I had "thyroid issues" while stuffing myself with ice cream and Dr. Pepper on a daily basis.
we decide to be healthy regardless of kids
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I have two teen boys that we adopted as newborns. When my boys were preschool/toddler age, I was in to see my ob/GYN and I complained that I had gained just as much weight as my friends who had birthed their babies. She very passionately said, "this just confirms what I have been saying for years--that it is not pregnancy that makes women fat, it is the mommy lifestyle".
Every stage is difficult in its own way. When my kids were small, I either did not work, or worked about 10 hours a week. Every day we went to a park and I walked with them in the stroller, with a promised visit to the playground if they behaved. Yes, there was mind-numbing fatigue, plus the emotional stress of caring for little people 24/7 and feeling like I was being sucked of life by all their needs. But I could definitely make time for physical activity!
Once both were in school (kindergarten or higher) I went back to work 30+ hours per week. The schedule became crazy! They had after school activities, and I had work, plus trying to do just as many mommy/wife duties as before I went back to work. The home responsibilities didn't let up just because I took on another job! This was probably the most difficult situation. You completely lose control of your schedule because of their lives. Three years later I had gained 35 lbs and was well into the overweight category headed for obese. That is when I found MFP. The schedule was still crazy, but I learned to carry workout clothes with me everywhere and walk, and eventually run, while they were in their activities. The crock pot also became my best friend, as during this time hubby lost his job, so eating out was not an option. I lost 44 lbs.
Now I have one teen driver and one young teen. Things are getting easier, with them being so much more independent. I still am at the mercy of their schedules to some degree, but I have learned to plan ahead to fit in workouts, and to plan meals ( we still mostly eat at home. $$ is not as tight now, but we are trying to save for college now). I have maintained a healthy weight, although I have gained back some of my loss (perimenopause seems to wreak havoc with metabolism, etc. or at least that is how it seems).
You CAN maintain a healthy lifestyle around your kids lives. It is difficult. And I am constantly juggling the balance between what is fair for my work, my family, and me. When my kids leave, I may take it up to the next level, fitness wise. Right now, I feel that giving much more time to my fitness program is not the right thing to do. So that means I may not have the six pack abs I want, etc. but there will be time for that later. It's all about priorities and choices.
Thank you OP for starting this discussion! Very valuable in many ways.
In the same vein as gaining weight after having adopted, I gained weight with the birth of my grandson! Sounds ridiculous except that my daughter and grandson were/are at my house more than half the time. I had been living a fairly active sport-centric lifestyle which I abandoned, and found myself eating a bunch of carbs in search of the energy I needed to keep up. Daughter and grandson moved out of the country for six months and I lost it all. They came back and I found it again. I'm in the process of trying to lose it again even though we now have him five days a week.
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antennachick wrote: »I think there is truth to it but at the same time kinda stupid. I believe age period makes it harder to lose wieght along with jobs ect. You chose to be healthy and active. Go be active with your kids. If they are little put them in a jogging stroller...weather permitting. When you consider how many kids are overweight there is something wrong! I have a 2 year that already does push up, squats, burpes ect because of watching me. Kids should be a reason to be healthy and want to live longer not an excuse to be fat. And as far as eatting, kids can eat healthy if you raise them that way!
LOL. I gave my kids veggies from the start. What was always left on their plate after they were done? Veggies.
I'm curious about what kind of magic trick you found to make your kids love veggies as much as the other stuff. Please share. And make sure to contact write a book too, I'm sure you'll make millions, because obviously you know so much about raising kids.
My guess is you're just one of the lucky ones with a non picky kid. That doesn't mean you're so much better at parenting than everyone else.
My kids eat their veggies, but we had to bribe them with dessert for them to get to eat them. Now they will eat them even if we don't make them, but it's still hit and miss for a lot of them. And they both have a healthy weight, if anything it's on the light side.0
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