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Gonna Be A Bear

kellch
kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for
six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal
with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)
while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could
definately deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat at anyone
who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could
deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS
that you will have hair legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

:drinker: :tongue: Thought it was cute :drinker: :tongue:

*dips out to check email for better joke*:smokin: :devil: :bigsmile:

Replies

  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
    When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for
    six months. I could deal with that.

    Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal
    with that too.

    When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)
    while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could
    definately deal with that.

    If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat at anyone
    who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could
    deal with that.

    If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS
    that you will have hair legs and excess body fat.

    Yup, gonna be a bear!

    :drinker: :tongue: Thought it was cute :drinker: :tongue:

    *dips out to check email for better joke*:smokin: :devil: :bigsmile:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member


    *dips out to check email for better joke*:smokin: :devil: :bigsmile:

    Let me know when you find one. :indifferent:


    :bigsmile: :smooched:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member


    *dips out to check email for better joke*:smokin: :devil: :bigsmile:

    Let me know when you find one. :indifferent:


    :bigsmile: :smooched:

    :angry:
  • tresa1234
    tresa1234 Posts: 796 Member
    It's so funny that you posted that this morning. It took me FOREVER to make myself get out from under the warm covers into my cold-ish room. As I was lying there I kept thinking ... yep ... bears definitely have the right idea! I was just about to change my facebook status to "Tresa thinks hibernation is the right thing to do."

    c_laugh.gifc_laugh.gifc_laugh.gif
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Here's one:

    Two blondes (kellch & Soup Nazi) are waiting at a bus stop.

    When a bus pulls up and opens the door, kellch leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

    The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

    At this Soupy leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''



    :bigsmile:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    Here's one:

    Two blondes (kellch & Soup Nazi) are waiting at a bus stop.

    When a bus pulls up and opens the door, kellch leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

    The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

    At this Soupy leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''



    :bigsmile:

    :angry:

    machinegunsmilie.gif

    CrossedArms.gif
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Here's one:

    Two blondes (kellch & Soup Nazi) are waiting at a bus stop.

    When a bus pulls up and opens the door, kellch leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

    The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

    At this Soupy leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''



    :bigsmile:

    :angry:

    machinegunsmilie.gif

    CrossedArms.gif


    You shoot, but you know you wubbbbbbs me! :bigsmile:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    Here's one:

    Two blondes (kellch & Soup Nazi) are waiting at a bus stop.

    When a bus pulls up and opens the door, kellch leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

    The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

    At this Soupy leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''



    :bigsmile:

    :angry:

    machinegunsmilie.gif

    CrossedArms.gif


    You shoot, but you know you wubbbbbbs me! :bigsmile:

    :angry:

    Ok Ok....I can't stay mad at you....come here you :love: :smooched:
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
    Will the bus take kellch? ...whistles innocently and wanders off... :wink:
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    One of my gay friends always calls me his little bear. I didn't know that it had another meaning.
  • Nograce80
    Nograce80 Posts: 8,443 Member
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk wrote: »
    One of my gay friends always calls me his little bear. I didn't know that it had another meaning.

    Lol isn't that supposed to be a cub? Isn't that like a relationship meaning, bear and his cub? I used to know a group that called themselves the bears! Nice group of men!
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    I want to be a goliath grouper. Because it's the closest nature gets to letting me be a largemouth bass messing with swimmers.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Nograce80 wrote: »
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk wrote: »
    One of my gay friends always calls me his little bear. I didn't know that it had another meaning.

    Lol isn't that supposed to be a cub? Isn't that like a relationship meaning, bear and his cub? I used to know a group that called themselves the bears! Nice group of men!

    super-bowl-shuffle-o.gif
This discussion has been closed.

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