Wow Im in shock? Giving it up

FitFrenchGirl
FitFrenchGirl Posts: 177
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/top-5-myths-women-still-believe-about-men-2493582/;_ylt=AlEjlLB2tBYrLmQg4QdmRUxabqU5


Read this article And I want your 2 cents......... I REALLY WANT TO HEAR WHAT GUYS SAY!!!


I still dont think its okay to sleep with someone you dont even know...uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it
«1

Replies

  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    I obviously can't speak for all males but ..

    My friends very good looking popular son never had a lack of female admirers, he is handsome, funny and as quick witted as you can get and people just gravitate towards him. He never had a regular girlfriend tho...I asked why. He said that the girls practically dragged him into bed and while he wasn't going to say no (how many red blooded teenage lads would?) he deemed them not datable for being easy, many a girl has tried to snag him but only one has...she held out for months apparently. (I didn't ask for details!)
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    I think all of what he said makes sense. I work ina very male dominated profession and he is right on from what ive heard all my guy friends say. Who cares what anyone does in their own personal lives. If two people feel comfortable than so be it. You, I and the next person have no right to judge the next person. You dont know whats going on in their heads and what their comfort level is.
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
    I know you want to hear from guys...but I have to agree with the writer of the article in regards to sleeping with a date on the first or hundredth date. That "should" be about what you are comfortable with, not about how others view you. YOU have to be okay with your choice, not anyone else.
    I guess I was "one of those girls" in the past...as I've had a few times in my life that I slept with a guy on the first date. I was okay with it. I didn't then and still don't care about the opnions of others on the subject. I found it to be liberating. And I'm not meaning to be knocking you or questioning your beliefs. Just saying my opinion.

    I also do think men and women can be friends without having bedroom boogy too.

    Cheers!:drinker:
  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
    I'm pretty sure my husband would agree with all of it.
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    I obviously can't speak for all males but ..

    My friends very good looking popular son never had a lack of female admirers, he is handsome, funny and as quick witted as you can get and people just gravitate towards him. He never had a regular girlfriend tho...I asked why. He said that the girls practically dragged him into bed and while he wasn't going to say no (how many red blooded teenage lads would?) he deemed them not datable for being easy, many a girl has tried to snag him but only one has...she held out for months apparently. (I didn't ask for details!)

    Depends on the guy really and his experiences. I have found through friends and myself that there is no magical number for waiting or even if waiting works. I have known several people to sleep on the first date and they are now happy, with children living out their fairytale. It just depends on what you and that guy are looking for... If a guy wants a fling it doesn't matter if you wait of not, he probably won't ever commit completely. If he wants a relationship he will usually go with whatever you feel comfortable with.
  • MattAxtell
    MattAxtell Posts: 73 Member
    My views as a guy..

    1. He wont respect you if you have sex on the first date

    I would rather get to know the person first.. and that takes more than one date, thats for sure.
    Disrespect them? No \\\\ Want to do it on the first date? No

    2. Men love the chase

    Quite the opposite really

    3. A man can't be friends with a women without wanting to have sex with her

    Disagree.

    4. Guys prefer something left to the imagination

    LOL. Yea.. right..

    5. Guys are intimidated by independent women

    Actually I would prefer someone who is independent


    That being said, every guy is different for every one of these questions. Even most of my friends would share opposite views on some of this
  • av8rblond
    av8rblond Posts: 140
    I think that there is a line between having sex for the sake of sex and using someone who you know wants more of a relationship.
    Sex is purely a physical thing, it is when there are feelings that the trouble starts. If you are honest with the other person as to whether you are into the "booty call" or you want a relationship then go for it.

    As two consenting people, you are the ones that have face eachother in the morning..or not...as you creep out in the middle of the night...or so I have heard! :wink:
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/top-5-myths-women-still-believe-about-men-2493582/;_ylt=AlEjlLB2tBYrLmQg4QdmRUxabqU5


    Read this article And I want your 2 cents......... I REALLY WANT TO HEAR WHAT GUYS SAY!!!


    I still dont think its okay to sleep with someone you dont even know...uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it

    So what do you call a guy who has sex on the first date?

    "that kind of girl" WOW!

    I was "that kind of girl" back when I was single. Honestly if I wanted a booty call that was my choice - so here's a question for ya! Why is it okay for a guy to " booty call" someone but it when a chick does it she's "one of THOSE girls"???
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/top-5-myths-women-still-believe-about-men-2493582/;_ylt=AlEjlLB2tBYrLmQg4QdmRUxabqU5


    Read this article And I want your 2 cents......... I REALLY WANT TO HEAR WHAT GUYS SAY!!!


    I still dont think its okay to sleep with someone you dont even know...uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it

    So what do you call a guy who has sex on the first date?

    "that kind of girl" WOW!

    I was "that kind of girl" back when I was single. Honestly if I wanted a booty call that was my choice - so here's a question for ya! Why is it okay for a guy to " booty call" someone but it when a chick does it she's "one of THOSE girls"???

    *agreed*
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    No guy should EVER disrespect a woman for having sex on the first date. I mean... he's there, too, isn't he? Why should women be the Keepers of the Chastity? Men should hold women to the exact same standards they hold themselves.

    I'm in full agreement with every word of the article.
  • DeviantDarkwolf2
    DeviantDarkwolf2 Posts: 363 Member
    I think you can't put individuals into a box. It's exactly like us women some of us like certain things others don't. That I guess is the mystery, I think based on these questions you will get many answers depending on opinion and upbringing perhaps. In regards to sex on the first date the only thing that I find wrong are the ones that are not safe and spread disease. Other than that to each their own. :)
  • theMightyAnt
    theMightyAnt Posts: 75
    As a man here's my 5 cents, I agree with Mattaxtell that every guy is different but I'd go further and say that for any one guy the answers could be different for every different relationship

    1. He wont respect you if you have sex on the first date
    FALSE - It doesn't matter but more depends on the chemistry and the situation, sometimes it's right, others not. Though if you are just have that reputation of always being easy then it may be TRUE (I think that applies to both sexes)

    2. Men love the chase
    Men usually hate the chase, including me. BUT that said for me the best relationships I have been in have started with a long old fashioned courtship/chase that ended in something lasting and meaningful. So again it depends.

    3. A man can't be friends with a women without wanting to have sex with her
    Rubbish! Absolute balderdash!

    4. Guys prefer something left to the imagination
    I do actually. But again it depends on the girl and the specific relationship.

    5. Guys are intimidated by independent women
    Not me usually, but some men definitely are. Once again however I would say it depends on the woman and the relationship. I've had it work and not be an issue and be a massive barrier.

    So in summation and rather boringly I suggest that all the answers to all but question #3 are the same. It completely depends on the specific girl and circumstances of the relationship in question. I doubt that helps clarify anything , however I stick by it.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    1.He won’t respect you if you have sex on the first date.

    Complete nonsense...if he is decent and worth being around he will respect your decision not to if that is what a lady wants or will respect that you as a lady need to be satisfied and happy you chose to be with him.

    2. Men love the chase.

    If by this they mean the ability for a person with a single word to render me feeling less then a man then oh yeah..what guy doesn`t dream of that moment. :noway:

    3. A man can’t be friends with a woman without wanting to have sex with her.

    A man can but even if he does see a lady friend as desirable it does not mean he is a half second away from losing control over those feelings.

    4. Guys Prefer Something Left to the imagination.

    Maybe sometimes.

    5. Guys are intimidated by independent women.

    Horse muffins...this guy thinks that there is nothing sexier then a woman who is in control of her life.
    What matters is her personality,her intelligence,her sense of humor etc.

    I suspect that it is the same the other way with ladies and how they see a guy except for that "bad boy" thing woman sometimes do.
    That will forever be a mystery to me but a different subject.
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/top-5-myths-women-still-believe-about-men-2493582/;_ylt=AlEjlLB2tBYrLmQg4QdmRUxabqU5


    Read this article And I want your 2 cents......... I REALLY WANT TO HEAR WHAT GUYS SAY!!!


    I still dont think its okay to sleep with someone you dont even know...uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it

    "That kind of girl" hmm what do you call, while your at what is the name for a person that judges a person with out knowing them, the person they are or why they chose to do what they did it...
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    While I'm one of those people waiting until marriage (actually, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine even if marriage, and consequently sex, never happens in my life), I wouldn't be so quick to judge others. I don't want strangers telling me my values/ choices are wrong, trying to shove THEIR values down my throat... So I don't do it to others. Treat others the way you want to be treated, ya?

    Also, double standards = uncool! I'm not waiting until marriage because I'm female. I'm waiting because that's what my values dictate -- for women AND men.
  • _Aimée_
    _Aimée_ Posts: 190
    I've bumped uglys on a first date, waaay before I settled down and had children. In fact I'm sure all my sexual history would shock here! I found him hot, he found me hot, we had been chatting for hours over drinks. He invited me back, I knew what I was signing up for. He didn't loose respect for me, if anything he gained respect for me as I trusted him enough to come back to his house. I broke things off after a few more dates as the age gap began a show a little. We both wished each other the best and went our separate ways. Awful slutty behavior isn't it? Not in my opinion. I don't put sex on such a high pedastool..its just 2 (or more!!) people havin fun, as long as you're safe its just not that big of a deal to me. Making love however is completely different, something you can only get in a loving relationship, and its great. But I don't regret nor feel ashamed about all the fabulous sex I had before I met my partner!
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    I love what av8blond said. There is a problem where expectations may differ. I remember a friend of mine used to sleep with every guy on the first date, and be disappointed nothing ever came from it. I think it was because she always expected/hoped there was something more, but the guys thought it was just a one night stand.

    Let's face it, some of us girls are pleasers and will give out because we think it will snare us a man. (Not all mind, I'll had flings without expectation). We need to be able to understand ourselves and what our motivations are, and then make decisions that we are comfortable with. Whether a one night stand can blossom into a wonderful thing? Of course, my last marriage is an example.

    Hoping to be there soon ;-)

    GG
  • notoriousgtt
    notoriousgtt Posts: 75 Member
    “The only reason men are just friends with women is because that’s all she’ll allow”

    I think that may have hit the nail on the head.
    At least for most of the guys I know that aren't in relationships anyway.
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    I've bumped uglys on a first date, waaay before I settled down and had children. In fact I'm sure all my sexual history would shock here! I found him hot, he found me hot, we had been chatting for hours over drinks. He invited me back, I knew what I was signing up for. He didn't loose respect for me, if anything he gained respect for me as I trusted him enough to come back to his house. I broke things off after a few more dates as the age gap began a show a little. We both wished each other the best and went our separate ways. Awful slutty behavior isn't it? Not in my opinion. I don't put sex on such a high pedastool..its just 2 (or more!!) people havin fun, as long as you're safe its just not that big of a deal to me. Making love however is completely different, something you can only get in a loving relationship, and its great. But I don't regret nor feel ashamed about all the fabulous sex I had before I met my partner!

    Amen Sister!!!
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    So if a guy sleep with a girl on the first date...do he lose respect?

    Double standards crack me up.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    My thoughts - for whatever they are worth...

    be the girl you want your guy to be attracted to. If you want someone that will respect you enough to hold out, then wait.
    if you want someone who is a little old fashioned and is willing to do "the chase", they exist. they're just few and far between.
    if you want someone who prefers that you dress with a little self respect, then nix the mile of cleavage.
    but if all you're looking for is a one night stand, a "booty call", or someone who will come and go with no real emotional connection... my experience has been that they're a dime a dozen.

    sex is easy. relationships are high maintenance when done well.
  • danacho
    danacho Posts: 115 Member
    In all honesty it depends on 1: how the date went, 2: the flirtation leading upto the date.....(ie the chase)

    We dont lose respect for girls who want to have sex on the first date coz after all thats what the guy is wanting also :) (providing the chemistry is there)

    The time we dont have repect ladies is one night stands, because we just wonder how many others there have been lol thats usually when a guy wont bother to chase...
  • Disinte_GratioN
    Disinte_GratioN Posts: 60
    Good article......I did not find anything i did not agree with. MY 2 CENTS
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Only speaking for ME.

    1. He wont respect you if you have sex on the first date

    "Sex on a first date" and "respect" don't necessarily have to correlate at all. I could love someone, and do, that had sex with me on the first date. Lots of women I respect that I have never had sex with and some women I will never respect even if they wanted to have sex all the time.

    2. Men love the chase

    Not me. I like the whole courtship process, but I don't dig the whole "playing hard to get" game.

    3. A man can't be friends with a women without wanting to have sex with her

    There is always an undercurrent of sexual tension.

    4. Guys prefer something left to the imagination

    I like the whole process of getting to know someone. It's like slowly unwrapping a fabulous gift.


    5. Guys are intimidated by independent women

    Not in a healthy relationship. Both people should be independent. Should be in a relationship because they are both headed in the smae directions and have similar goals. A relationship should NEVER be a Host/Parasite relationship. My wife doesn't need me and I don't need her. We can survive independently. We CHOOSE to be together. We have the same goals, dreams and aspirations. While I can survive without her in my life; I can't picture my life without her in it.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it

    Let me help you out. Grease is the word.

    Nah, the word you are looking for is self confident. I have more respect, by a country mile, for a woman who knows what she wants and can act upon it without any hang ups.

    I think a relationship where one party, be it the man or the woman, uses the giving and with holding of sex as a means to maintain control or power is deeply flawed. I can't abide people who play games and the sex card can be the ace in the hole (pardon the pun) for some people.

    Besides, most guys who have a clue understand that women want sex far, far more than men. We know, you know. You just want us to create an environment or an excuse where you won't be judged before you jump us and get buck wild.

    Women. You only want one thing...*sniff*
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    I still dont think its okay to sleep with someone you dont even know...uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it

    I'm proud to be "that kind of girl" because I am strong and empowered enough to do what I want to do. If I am attracted to someone and want to sleep with them, I'm not going to play some kind of twisted game where I deny us both pleasure so I can manipulate him into thinking I'm a different kind of person.

    I do what I want, and if people judge me for that, then as far as I can tell, they have the problem. I'd rather know they were a judgmental moron right off the bat.
  • exercisesucks
    exercisesucks Posts: 102
    While I dont teach that kind of behavior to my daughters I dont look down on a person that makes their own decisions about how they live their life. Dont worry about what others think. What is most important is how you feel about yourself.

    As for the others, guys hate games and we dont care what you make as long as you bring something to the table. "Because I'm a chick" is no longer an acceptable excuse to expect free dinners and other treats. You are considered equal to men so we expect you to act like it. Real men go dutch!
  • casey12105
    casey12105 Posts: 293
    I still dont think its okay to sleep with someone you dont even know...uummmm there is a word for that kind of girl...cant really think of it

    I'm proud to be "that kind of girl" because I am strong and empowered enough to do what I want to do. If I am attracted to someone and want to sleep with them, I'm not going to play some kind of twisted game where I deny us both pleasure so I can manipulate him into thinking I'm a different kind of person.

    I do what I want, and if people judge me for that, then as far as I can tell, they have the problem. I'd rather know they were a judgmental moron right off the bat.

    Agree, and I agree with the other girls who feel this way as well. For me, sex is just sex; it's 2 (or more, as someone already pointed out lol) consenting adults doing something they enjoy together. Yes, it can be more if you're doing it with someone that you love it's more than just physical but it's great without that too. Hell, my husband started out as my booty call lol.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Wow.... who has sex on the first date.

    I would NEVER.

    1.- You don't know if the guy has some nasty herp or disease.
    2.- No man will respect you.
    3.- I couldn't have any self respect if I did sleep around like that, simply because I have very strong morals/values that don't permit me to be so promiscuous.
    4.- I would feel like a skank.

    This is my personal opinion, I don't expect anyone to agree.

    Also, I just remembered this quote "you're gonna wish you had listened to your mother when she said, "They're not gonna want to buy the whole friggin' ice cream truck when you're handing out the popsicles for free!" "
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    2.- No man will respect you.
    It is funny how males and females see things differently.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories