i dont want my "real" friends to friend me on MFP!

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Replies

  • SillyBeans
    SillyBeans Posts: 17 Member
    I don't want my 'in real life' friends to know about this either. Not because I'm not being myself or anything, but because I want to keep my neurotic, weight obsessed side to myself!
  • merrycat
    merrycat Posts: 131 Member
    Even if it were a close friend, I might not want to friend them on MFP. I see MFP almost as kind of a support group. Just because someone is your best friend doesn't mean you want them in your support group for whatever issue you're dealing with. There's a certain comfort that you can only have with people that don't already have a history with you that might color their perceptions of your struggle.

    For example, while I'm always encouraging my mother, who is dealing with weight issues herself, to join MFP, I have not and will never give her my username. This goes back to my childhood and her constant need to feed me while criticising my food choices. I love my mother immensely, but I do not want to be her MFP friend. The same goes for certain friends whom I do care about immensely, but whom I strongly disagree with on health and weight issues.
  • Janworkingitout
    Janworkingitout Posts: 434 Member
    Ok, forgive me, I am 38. Long past the caring what other people think, per-say.

    If they are your "real" friend, they would not judge you, help you through this journey and such.

    Also, if they are your "real" friend, why would you not feel comfortable saying :) Pardon my bluntness...

    I just farted, or darn I have been constipated for days..

    Yes I know, brazen but I am who I am and if you don't just LOVE me that way then why do I need you in my life?

    Tread carefully on caring what people think of you and making a divide between this life and real life because ultimately THIS is your life now and if you can't share that with them then why are they in your life?

    I agree with this totally!! Now I LOVE you and don't even know you!
  • tammykoon
    tammykoon Posts: 298 Member
    I understand what you are saying. MFP is the first and only place that I have been honest about my weight. My friends and family knew that I had gained alot of weight these last three years but none of them know how much it really was. When I picked out a "ticker" I thought if I am gonna jump then I might as well go all the way.

    It's not about being different with anyone. I am, who I am. I just want to keep this to myself for a little while. Say and do what I need to during this time. Could some of my "real world" friends support me on here if I told them, yes. But my "real world" friends already are.

    Right now, not forever, but until I am ready I want to be, just be.
  • sushisuzi2
    sushisuzi2 Posts: 111 Member
    I don't want some of my friends to find me on here, either! I am in private groups on Facebook, too, for that very reason.
    We all really DO need a place to whine about our TOM, or feeling bloated, or that we need new makeup, or that our boss was a jerk that day.

    And OMG, before this site, I was on Livestrong and have met some GREAT people and am very close with them. Closer than some relatives even!

    This is for weight loss...my struggle. I have invited my boyfriend...we will see...most people think it's annoying to log in stuff. Um, no.
  • almarsala
    almarsala Posts: 168 Member
    I completely agree. "real life" friends always pretend like I don't have a weight problem. Saying things like "you're not fat!" Is not going to help me lose the 120 pounds I need to lose. I love all the support and understanding on this site.
  • Cordy_in_CT
    Cordy_in_CT Posts: 134 Member
    It totally makes sense. My daughter (15 years old) got me on this sight, but as I go along, I realize I don't even want HER to see everything I've written and shared. Once she threw something in my face that I had written. It was a post about not eating "Peeps" at Easter. When we were in the grocery store together she said "Mom - let's get some Peeps."
    So, do what works for you. But I TOTALLY understand. It's a place to share with people who really understand, and in some ways it helps that it's sort of anonymous. :wink:
  • breakingthecycle
    breakingthecycle Posts: 225 Member
    i think a lot of people are misunderstanding what i really meant by "friends" and that's my fault because i didn't explain well.

    i was really talking more about regular people in my life that i might consider my "friend" but not necessarily a GOOD or CLOSE "friend", like co-workers or friends of friends that i hang out with every so often or the girl who sat next to me last semester, my mom's neighbor, my cousin's girlfriend, my old roommates NEW roommate, and so on....

    sorry i wasn't clear in the first post =(

    I wouldnt keep trying to clarify because some people wont get it one way or the other (or dont want to because they have their own issues) :-)

    Have a wonderful day and I TOTALLY understand what you mean. :flowerforyou:
  • cgcortezrn
    cgcortezrn Posts: 26 Member
    I totally feel the same way. I want this to be my place to go. I don't like telling my family, coworkers and outside MFP friends that I am even dieting. Always feel they tell me "Oh you look like you have lost wwight " out of obligation when I know I haven't really lost that much to notice. Then when I do eat something that may NOT look like diet food, I don' t have to hear them say, " Oh that can't be on your diet" when in fact as LONG as I count my calories it IS on my diet. May not be the best choice at that time but that is my business. I know my MFPs are with me till the end and share some of the same experiences so I feel this is my virtual reality I can escape too. I don't need to have to explain my actions to my skinny friends who never had to diet and don't understand.
    I just feel like being selfish and having my MFP friends all to myself. I so appreciate everyone here. MUAH!!!
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