I'm very irritated by you "Friend" collectors

2

Replies

  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I have a 1% send request rate. Everyone else has added me. I figure they can leave at any moment. I treat the social network aspect of it like I would with myspace and fb, except no one is spamming posts with promotions for miscellaneous crap, which is fine by me. I do my own thing and reciprocate when I can to those who do the same. Only seems fair. I never overextend kindness.
  • Runnermadre
    Runnermadre Posts: 267 Member
    I agree completely! I don't know if it is considered rude or not, but I just did some "housekeeping" in the friend department. I noticed that I had people that I not only didn't talk to, but who didn't talk to me either. Some were people I didn't even have anything in common with. I need to start screening my friend requests better. :-/ I'm not against being friends with someone who has different goals, but it's nice to see other 20 or 30 somethings who are married with kids, and trying to balance their health and fitness with the demands of being a wife and mom. It's just nice to know you share common interests with people. I feel like you can support each other better that way. :-)
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    I have a 1% send request rate. Everyone else has added me. I figure they can leave at any moment. I treat the social network aspect of it like I would with myspace and fb, except no one is spamming posts with promotions for miscellaneous crap, which is fine by me. I do my own thing and reciprocate when I can to those who do the same. Only seems fair. I never overextend kindness.

    I don't even remember if I requested you or vice versa, but regardless....I think you are my chattiest friend! LOL
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    I receive WAY more friend requests than I send. Apparently I'm very motivating to people, and they want to follow me. I try to encourage everyone, but sometimes I know I can't keep up. At the same time, I talk more to the people who talk to me regularly. If someone is my friend and sees that I've logged for 290 days, maybe that will be the motivation they need to keep going, even if they don't tell me so.


    I agree, you are very motivating...everyone just wants a piece of it lol
  • Losing2Live69
    Losing2Live69 Posts: 743 Member
    I agree!!! And another thing that is bothering me, and maybe it shouldn't but it is.....I feel like if you are on MFP and looking for encouragement, motivation, and suggestions....but have your food diary set to "private", how can we do all those things. I also have a hard time congratualting someone who states they are "under calorie goal" for the day but you can't see what they have eaten. yes you are under, but is your goal set to 2000 calories and you hit 1999 and no excercise? And then the following week are asking for guidance on why the scale isn't moving? I don't look at all my friends food diaries daily, but I like the option (for ideas). Am I wrong?? I am contemplating dropping those friends, but feel bad.....but I am an open book and as far as I can see, no one is on this site to judge......that is what Facebook and Twitter are for, LOL!

    I totally agree. I think when people make their diaries private it kind of defeats the purpose of this entire community. One of the first steps to a lifestyle change is honesty. If you can't be honest on here with others who are in the same boat as you it makes me wonder what they have to hide.
  • nurse_carolyn
    nurse_carolyn Posts: 348
    Time to clean out your friend box. Just delete the ones that you don't have any contact with.
  • nosey_rosey
    nosey_rosey Posts: 380 Member
    I have a great group of buddies... I feel very motivated by ALL(well almost all) of them =)
  • tropicalicyicy
    tropicalicyicy Posts: 83 Member
    i agree!!!!!!! i try to keep my friends to a minimum- 40 some right now and even that is a little overwhelming at times to try to support/encourage everyone everyday. unless you have a lot of time to come onto MFP to support your friends frequently then i don't see the point in having 150+ friends. what's annoying is that some of them seem to have a lot of time to change their statuses to talk about themselves but yet i never get a word. i plan on going through my friends list and deleting people!!

    p.s. ADD ME IF YOU ACTUALLY TALK!! =)
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    LOL, I just don't accept any friends on here. My goal is to lose weight all by myself and occasionally get a nice feud going on the forums :devil:

    Marry me and we will spend our winters in Aspen, and our summers sipping Manhattans in St Tropez before touring the Amalfi Coast on our scooters. Alternatively be my friend pleeeease.

    Actually, I am pretty much the same way. I don't accept or send friend requests as I want this place to be just for me to concentrate on me.

    That and I am fed up with answering ridiculous queries on FB...
  • littlecaponey2
    littlecaponey2 Posts: 143 Member
    I have a great group of buddies... I feel very motivated by ALL(well almost all) of them =)

    I LOVE my nosey_rosey!!!!! :)
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
    I just wish people would be more encouraging...it's always the same 3 people that tell me good job...and yes I'm that type of needy person that needs to hear that I did well today from complete strangers...that's what I'm here for. I don't have a lot of friends, but I find myself collecting more, hoping someone will say "wow that's fantastic"...I sure comment on everyone else's posts...because I know that I want to hear it too

    good job my friend :) LOL
  • Lisamarie1226
    Lisamarie1226 Posts: 335 Member
    yup me too. I don't expect a comment from everyone every single day but I am here for the support..I give it so its nice to get it back :)

    I totally agree! I've started cleaning up my friends list based on "one side" friendships. If someone wants encouragement and motivation & accountabilty, then they should reciprocate.
  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
    "bump"
    i agree!!!!!!! i try to keep my friends to a minimum- 40 some right now and even that is a little overwhelming at times to try to support/encourage everyone everyday. unless you have a lot of time to come onto MFP to support your friends frequently then i don't see the point in having 150+ friends. what's annoying is that some of them seem to have a lot of time to change their statuses to talk about themselves but yet i never get a word. i plan on going through my friends list and deleting people!!

    p.s. ADD ME IF YOU ACTUALLY TALK!! =)

    Thanks for all the responses, I can now see that I'm not the only one irritated by the "people collectors".

    It's also annoying that you get to see all the comments made by their numerous friends appearing on my home page too.
    I wonder if they ever get a response either, I doubt it. People collectors are self centred they just want praise lavished on them.

    I have only ever asked to befriend someone once. I work too, I'm busy with my family, I try to make time to banter with the few people I have accepted as MFP friends.

    Take care everyone, enjoy your day or evening depending where you are on Earth.
    :wink:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I haven't friended anyone, though I've received a few requests. I'm just not sure what the "friend" feature on MFP is all about when you can see everyone's posts in the community section. I'm a very private person, even more so online. What is the advantage of MFP friends?
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I have a 1% send request rate. Everyone else has added me. I figure they can leave at any moment. I treat the social network aspect of it like I would with myspace and fb, except no one is spamming posts with promotions for miscellaneous crap, which is fine by me. I do my own thing and reciprocate when I can to those who do the same. Only seems fair. I never overextend kindness.

    I don't even remember if I requested you or vice versa, but regardless....I think you are my chattiest friend! LOL

    You did, I think, but it doesn't matter if I'm cool with you. Haha.
  • gemlynch
    gemlynch Posts: 24 Member
    I don't like to concider myself a friend collector (I don't have many) but I don't comment on much. Some people are shy or self conscious... yes, even on the internet.
  • j_cordes
    j_cordes Posts: 7
    Not sure if this is off topic, but I've been doing MFP for about a month and have 2 friends. I would LOVE some encouragement from people who are not "friend collectors"!
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
    This discussion thread is a prime example of why I don't accept or invite friend invitations. We all have different expectations. After 9 hours a day on a computer and responding to 200 emails, I just don't want to do the same thing on 'my' time. It's not that I don't want to motivate or be motivated. But, I choose to get and give my motivation from the forum and I'm happy with that.

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • mosaix
    mosaix Posts: 87 Member
    I feel very fortunate that I have brilliant friends on MFP, who are extremely encouraging & sweet. I was actually considering if I was ever in a position where a friend didn't sign in for 30 days etc or wasn't helping me I may delete - Luckily never had to make that decision but totally understand your frustration.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    I don't have time to comment on each and every friend I have every day. I try to make sure to keep up with the people that are active but I run a weekly challenge so a lot of people friend me to make sure they keep up with it. For me just seeing other people do things is motivating I don't need someone commenting on post I have.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    I agree. I met someone on here that "collects women". He ONLY befriends women and has over 600 of them. Being a psychology major I can't help but think he has some serious self-esteem/ inferiority complex issues going on. I deleted him when I realized I was just one of his cyber ho's. I found out he texts and calls many of his "friends". He actually said he uses this site as a dating site!! I think that's crazy, not to mention creepy!!:explode:
    Now that's an interesting fellah... He should just go to a real dating site!
  • FryingPanda
    FryingPanda Posts: 99 Member
    I was wondering if I was being a good friend today, and after reading this I wonder more. I have an issue with saying great work to someone everyday, as I feel it invalidates the sentiment. If you have a problem, I'll help. If you need advice, I'll give it. If you wanna look at my dairy, it's open. And every once and awhile I will say good work. Maybe I need to be more supportive..... :huh:
  • MattAxtell
    MattAxtell Posts: 73 Member
    I get what you are saying. I don't collect friends so to speak. But, I like to add friends so that I can have visibility to other food diaries, exercise routines and message board posts. I'm not opposed to relationships. But, my main goal is to learn as much as I can and I do that a lot by seeing what others do. And I think some of my friends have added me for the same reason.
  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
    "bump"
    I don't have time to comment on each and every friend I have every day. I try to make sure to keep up with the people that are active but I run a weekly challenge so a lot of people friend me to make sure they keep up with it. For me just seeing other people do things is motivating I don't need someone commenting on post I have.

    Anyone would be hard pushed to keep up with 250 friends!
    Your circumstances sound different because you run your weekly
    changes. My comments refer to people who add people just for the sake of
    acquiring a huge list of contacts. I don't need them to post on my page, I think it's just
    Common courtesy to make some contact after initiating a
    friend request.
  • watermelonstarfish
    watermelonstarfish Posts: 195 Member
    I agree. I met someone on here that "collects women". He ONLY befriends women and has over 600 of them. Being a psychology major I can't help but think he has some serious self-esteem/ inferiority complex issues going on. I deleted him when I realized I was just one of his cyber ho's. I found out he texts and calls many of his "friends". He actually said he uses this site as a dating site!! I think that's crazy, not to mention creepy!!:explode:

    lulz ewww
  • lalalazzz
    lalalazzz Posts: 131 Member
    I didn't know until today that food journals are automatically set to private. I just changed mine, but many people may not know theirs is set to private by default. You have to manually change the setting.... also my iphone version is so weird and like summarizes so I can't see all updates and statuses. I'm rarely
    home on the computer on MFP, usually on phone. Just sayin!!!
  • DarMC
    DarMC Posts: 78 Member
    I try very hard to reply to everyone. And, I do notice there are a few that don't respond back. Which to me, is fine, I know that many have busy lives. I use my cell phone to get on this site, and it doesn't always show everyone's comments. I have to go all the way back.
    Also, FB is the same way. So I am certain many think that I ignore them.:'(
    I hope that you will find new friends that will cheer you on, on your journey to better health.
    You may add me if you like, and I will do my best to respond!
    Have an amazingly blessed day! :flowerforyou:
  • alimac92
    alimac92 Posts: 705 Member
    "bump"
    I try very hard to reply to everyone. And, I do notice there are a few that don't respond back. Which to me, is fine, I know that many have busy lives. I use my cell phone to get on this site, and it doesn't always show everyone's comments. I have to go all the way back.
    Also, FB is the same way. So I am certain many think that I ignore them.:'(
    I hope that you will find new friends that will cheer you on, on your journey to better health.
    You may add me if you like, and I will do my best to respond!
    Have an amazingly blessed day! :flowerforyou:

    It's true it's hard to reply to every one if you have too many friends.
    So why add so many that you end up ignoring them. My point is I'm irritated
    that a lot of people add friends when they have no intention of contacting them.
    I realise there are genuine kind hearted supportive people out there too.
    I too use my phone and have no problem adding comments.
    I don't use the App I log straight on to the website via Internet.
    You get all the same access as on the home P.C. Though it's a lot slower.

    I've had a lot of friend requests generated from this, that was not my
    intention. I was just letting of steam lol. Thanks everyone.
  • Atleast40
    Atleast40 Posts: 62 Member
    note
  • KarenLouise1981
    KarenLouise1981 Posts: 144
    yup me too. I don't expect a comment from everyone every single day but I am here for the support..I give it so its nice to get it back :)

    Totally agree with you and feeling exactly the same ATM!!
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