I need some motivation! I have no support from family or friends.
alyssarenea1996
Posts: 90 Member
I'm starting to notice I'm losing some of my motivation. When I show my family my goals they just laugh and say "good luck" sarcastically or "your body just isn't built that way". I just want to see some before and afters or good quotes to keep me going! Thank you
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My favorite quote: I e Cube " You can do it. Put you *kitten* into it!"
That is my motivation.alyssarenea1996 wrote: »I'm starting to notice I'm losing some of my motivation. When I show my family my goals they just laugh and say "good luck" sarcastically or "your body just isn't built that way". I just want to see some before and afters or good quotes to keep me going! Thank you
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Thank you! My favorite so far has been "Do it for the 'holy *kitten* you got hot'"
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Stop showing your family your goals. Seriously. I stopped talking to them about it at all, and it was a huge help. Nothing like trying to motivate yourself while those around you are trying to tear you down.0
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I am alone too. I have no family nor friends. Pretty lonely.0
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Sometimes when you tell people around you that you want to change it makes them uncomfortable because it makes them reflect on themselves. If it's your parents acting this way they may be feeling guilty or blamed for you becoming overweight. Use their negativity as motivation. Prove them wrong. It may help you to set a series of small goals that lead you to your overall goal.
One of my favorite quotes is:
"It always seems impossible until it is done."
-Nelson Mandela0 -
There is a school of thought (backed by some research) that simply sharing your goals with other people actually makes you less likely to achieve them. Doing so can create a premature sense of achievement.
Instead, write down your goals, share them with friends and family, and then update those people with your progress on a semi-regular basis.
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Angelfire365 wrote: »Stop showing your family your goals. Seriously. I stopped talking to them about it at all, and it was a huge help. Nothing like trying to motivate yourself while those around you are trying to tear you down.
They all have struggled with yo-yo dieting, so now that I'm working hard to lose the weight they're not supporting how I want to look. They are being very rude about me wanting to get muscles.0 -
@mommyrunning
@tincanonastring
They're very passive aggressive about my weight loss. I have a goal body in mind - not really a goal weight. Because I am a woman and because I am wanting muscles they're horrible.0 -
alyssarenea1996 wrote: »Angelfire365 wrote: »Stop showing your family your goals. Seriously. I stopped talking to them about it at all, and it was a huge help. Nothing like trying to motivate yourself while those around you are trying to tear you down.
They all have struggled with yo-yo dieting, so now that I'm working hard to lose the weight they're not supporting how I want to look. They are being very rude about me wanting to get muscles.
Sounds like it's their issues and own personal experiences with yo-yoing rather than being based on your actual ability to achieve them. Their poor choices are not yours. Their struggles are not yours. I suggest adding people here and getting support from people who know that it can be done. Family members are great, but they sometimes say things without thinking about how it affects you.0 -
Yep. If they're not going to be supportive, stop seeking support from them. Find someone who won't belittle your goals or achievements.0
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Thank you all!0
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bearondiet wrote: »I am alone too. I have no family nor friends. Pretty lonely.
I'm sorry. However, sometimes family and friends are helpful and supportive and sometimes they are the opposite. Good thing you have this site to use for encouragement and support from others. It can be very helpful.0 -
Stop looking to them for support, it almost sounds like they are jealous. Find a buddy or 2 that you can workout with. I find if I know I have a friend waiting for me at the gym, it makes me go and workout. Muscles on woman are beautiful and achievable. Find a training program that works for you, and remember to keep proper form, and lift heavy! You will see great results with weight training! Good luck on your journey! Feel free to add me
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You are a grown up and your body belongs to you.
Stop seeking approval.0 -
You need to find your own motivation. Support from others is nice, but fleeting. Do you really want to build how you look on what others say?
My advice is to take a good, honest look at why YOU want to lose weight. Not what others have said or what you think the reason should be. And it doesn't have to be 'to get healthy' either. That wasn't mine. I know one girl who's motivation was to have better sex. But whatever the reason, it has to be YOUR own reason, one that makes the most sense to you. Make that your motivation to reach your goal, and then it won't matter if you have unsupportive people around you because you're doing this for yourself, not them.0 -
I am confused, do you need motivation, do you need support or both? Because motivation and support are two different things.
Motivation means a desire and an inner drive to achieve something, it implies determination, commitment and discipline, and nobody can do that for you. It has to be YOUR decision, YOUR job and YOUR doing.
I hope that this link gives you a better idea of what I am talking about. http://www.vicmagary.com/blog/fitness-motivation/
Support is a pat in the back or a "you go girl, "well done," etc. or and approval that what you are doing is good. Well, I have news for you, you are not going to get that all the time and you should not look or expect approval for everything that you do with your life or body. Losing weight is your decision or need. Own it and make it a reality because you can do it!
Good luck!
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Why don't you try to motivate them? Invite a family member to workout with you. Or choose a breast cancer or MS walk they might get behind and train for the next walk/ run event together. You might be surprised at their response .0
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I need both. They absolutely do not support my decision to get healthy. I was excited because I have lost 5 pounds in two weeks.. told my mom and she sarcastically said 'wow, good job. You're body just isn't built to be skinny'. I don't need anyone's approval, but it would be nice to at least have my achievements acknowledged 0
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If I am reading this correctly... Your family has no problem with concept of weight loss... They are being unkind because you want to lose weight and gain muscle definition? A lot of people have negative thoughts about muscular women... Don't let them get in your way... Put your head up and go for it... It is your body. Do they tell you what to wear or how to cut your hair? Probably not... So go for it!
Please allow me to recommend "the new rules of lifting for women"
And once you have a program... Go out and lift some heavy s**t...
You can so do this!!!0 -
FeenixFlashfire wrote: »If I am reading this correctly... Your family has no problem with concept of weight loss... They are being unkind because you want to lose weight and gain muscle definition? A lot of people have negative thoughts about muscular women... Don't let them get in your way... Put your head up and go for it... It is your body. Do they tell you what to wear or how to cut your hair? Probably not... So go for it!
Please allow me to recommend "the new rules of lifting for women"
And once you have a program... Go out and lift some heavy s**t...
You can so do this!!!
Thank you! I want to be strong and they're all very old-fashioned.0 -
*kitten* em! Ur not getting healthier for anyone but you! It's not their journey to a better lifestyle it's urs not only does one need to dig deep to find it in themselves to workout or be more mindful of eating but u can be your own support n motivation. Look in the mirror n c all ur hard work paying of "*kitten* ya you look good" be or own motivation "goin to kill this workout today, goin to push for that extra 5 mins" when my parents divorced at a young age my mom said something to me that has stuck " no one on this planet has your best interests at heart, you need to take care of you first, because no one else is going to." So ya *kitten* em n do it all for yourself. Be selfish n live healthy!!0
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alyssarenea1996 wrote: »I need both. They absolutely do not support my decision to get healthy. I was excited because I have lost 5 pounds in two weeks.. told my mom and she sarcastically said 'wow, good job. You're body just isn't built to be skinny'. I don't need anyone's approval, but it would be nice to at least have my achievements acknowledged
If they won't be supportive, don't share with them. I don't talk about weight loss with my family for the opposite reason... they try to be "helpful", but all that amounts to is loads of dubious advice or the "oh, you don't need to lose weight" platitudes. Accomplish your goals, and maybe they'll be begging you to share your secrets when they see your success
A good support system is great, but if family won't do that for you, find someone else (like the folks here).
Congrats on the loss, btw!0 -
Thank you! We're all very open so I want to show them what I'm doing and involve them... but I'm too the point where I don't say anything unless they ask.0
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http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10134341/you-arent-always-going-to-get-support/p1
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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You can't change people, but you can change "you"... When we stop wanting other peoples feed back and approval, we actually can see a lot clearer and it makes us better and more capable of caring out our goals...
If you can think it, you can do it.. It takes a strong mind, and once the mind is strong enough, you can carry out what you set out to do.
I think the older I get the less I care what any person on this earth thinks of me or anything about me.0 -
@gia07 I'm actually doing way better than I usually do. I'm sticking to it and working towards my goal BODY rather than a weight. I'm not getting too discouraged, just very frustrated. Especially, when they want to 'treat' me and try to buy me McDonald's or cookies. I'm not interested. I'm actually to the point where I have started to crave healthy food. I was craving chicken breasts and asparagus the other night actually!
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Just a word of caution, they sound like the types who will try to force food on you that you don't want, insist on a second helping or a dessert, etc. Be mindful of this and be prepared to say "no thanks, I'm good" repeatedly!! This, to me, is the hardest part of eating meals with people who don't have the same goals I do. It gets easier every time, though, and eventually they will stop being so insistent.0
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I find it better to keep my goals to myself, as well as most of the journey....why even talk to them about it if they aren't going to support you and help you...in the end, no amount of mantra's or quotes will really do the motivating, it has to come from inside you. Look in the mirror. What do YOU want for YOU? Are you happy with what you see? Wanna make changes? Lets choose a couple of small ones, and start there....if the people around you start noticing and commenting, awesome....you can smile and nod, knowing you always knew YOU had it in you...You ARE built that way, we all are!! Good luck, remember, in the end, YOU have to live in your body, not hubby, not your mom, not the girls at work...just you....so do it only for YOU! Every day, this is YOUR day!! Good luck xo0
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alyssarenea1996 wrote: »@gia07 I'm actually doing way better than I usually do. I'm sticking to it and working towards my goal BODY rather than a weight. I'm not getting too discouraged, just very frustrated. Especially, when they want to 'treat' me and try to buy me McDonald's or cookies. I'm not interested. I'm actually to the point where I have started to crave healthy food. I was craving chicken breasts and asparagus the other night actually!
When they want to "treat" you McD's, sweetly shake your head, and say "it's just not my thing right now"...you don't have to explain yourself to anyone...the fact that you are now craving and enjoying healthier foods means your body is finally hearing you...keep it up!!0
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