I suck....

Sounds like most of the plans you've used in the past were meant to be "short term solutions". The great thing about MFP is that logging food teaches you how to fit in things you like while practicing portion control. You'll learn a lot about what your body actually needs as far as calories and this will help you stick to it in the long run. Forget the exercise portion right now and just start logging food. Make sure to weigh your food for accuracy.

If I had a penny for every person in your exact situation I'd be a very rich woman. I think most of us were like this in the short time before we finally had our "light switch" moment and got committed to doing what needs to be done.

I think part of the problem might be that you're looking back at all of the times you've done this before and you think you have to jump in the deep end. Instead, take it slowly. Make one change today, just one. Take some time to make that change a habit and then make another small change. Keep adding things organically as you feel the urge to do them.

So for today, just decide to log what you eat. Not to restrict, just to log. Then a few days from now, look at what you've been eating and decide to make a few changes that will make an impact on your calorie total for the day. Maybe a little while later, you can add a walk or two into your day. Park at the back of the parking lot, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc. Try to make changes that you can see yourself maintaining for the rest of your life. Slow and steady will get you a lot farther than a quick scramble to lose as much weight as possible in the shortest amount of time then to go back to eating like you used to and gain it all back.

You clearly know that you can lose weight, but you don't know how to maintain your loss. It's a separate skill set entirely. I don't blame you for being a little apathetic -- I wouldn't want to do all that work again if history told me it wasn't going to stick!

Extreme diets don't tend to work because they don't teach you how to maintain that loss (unless you want to eat WW food forever, which I wouldn't recommend). Logging on MFP will teach you portion control without asking you to adhere to any crazy rules or making you miserable. Take it slow and don't make any changes that you couldn't live with for the rest of your life. That way, the transition from losing weight to maintaining that weight isn't a huge change -- after you finish losing, you keep doing basically what you've been doing all along, just with a few more calories to play with.

You're just not uncomfortable enough. If you were uncomfortable, you would change what you are doing. When you get that call from the doctor asking you to come back in, suddenly life gets real and you are begging for the chance to undo all the damage you have done to yourself (nobody did it to you, you did it yourself). You keep buying all of this stuff so you can say you tried, but really you haven't at least not lately.

I lost 45 lbs on WW 10 years ago. I started gaining weight one week on maintenance....now I'm 85 lbs over my "normal" weight. What the heck was I waiting on??? I have no money to buy new clothes, so I was wearing the same 3 sets of pants, and before I joined MFP 19 days ago, I was about to outgrow those too. So, yeah life was starting to get uncomfortable.

I have shed 7 lbs to date, and my body doesn't hurt anymore when I get out of bed, get out of the car, walk up the stairs. I actually feel more positive than I have in a long time, cause I get my endorphins notched up because I move! I walk the dogs, I park my car further away.

So stay comfortable and expect to gain more and more weight. You'll come back here kicking yourself for not doing something, however small, when you had the chance.

WE all get the body we want. Which body do YOU WANT? Go get it. If you want it, you gotta work for it.

You don't suck. You're human.
I've been there. I lost 50 lbs by moving more eating less. Had a broken relationship and gained it all back over the span of 3 years.
I would try again when spring came only manage to get 20 lbs off and once fall arrived I would gain another 25 lbs each year adding a surplus of an additional 5 lbs.

I decided nearly 3 years ago, no more and every day is a battle. There is a dove candy bar in my desk that does not meet my cico for the day. Fight the good fight no self pity or bad talk to your self.

You did it before you can do it again! In a healthy way that you can maintain.

you don't suck! You're human.
Sit down with yourself and write out your "why" WHY do you want to lose 50 pounds Not 'because I should" but WHY.... then each answer ask why again... go at Least 3-5 rounds. Keep that written down as your motivation.
We all have the same hours in the day and we're all busy.
When you find a routine and a workout YOU love and a food plan that works with Your life, you'll do it.
Then when the bad days happen. they will they do for all of us. Look at that WHY. do if for THAT, do it for YOU
You Are Worth It.

Find things you love so its a good thing, not a 'diet' - its a new Food Plan. Its not depriving yourself, its finding new, good things that you didn't know you liked.

You don't suck. It just doesn't seem you've hit that turning point where you realize change is all you want and you're really committed 110% to working for it. And that's not a bad thing, nor does it reflect poorly on you. Most people have a lot going on and it takes that one moment when they hit their limit with being unhealthy and overweight. And that limit varies from person to person. The awareness of the problem is the first step to making change happen. You're on your way!

Then it needs to be a priority in spite of whatever else is happening in your life. Personally, eating healthy (not required for weight loss) and exercise help me keep on track with the rest of my life. I sleep better, have more energy, fewer aches and pains and can handle stress better. And, I like how I look. I did not before. Bonus!

vivmom2014 wrote: »

No butt kicking needed. All you need to do is eat in a calorie deficit. Get that underway and worry about adding exercise later if it seems overwhelming to do it all at once. Or, don't add it at all.

A calorie deficit -- eating all the foods you enjoy -- is what it takes to lose weight.

This.

Calorie deficit is for weight loss, exercise is for fitness. It's perfectly fine to use the two in conjunction, but you must burn more calories than you consume. This means you must be accurate in both your intake and output.

Do you use a food scale? Weigh everything you eat?

Do you count exercise calories and eat them back? If so, where do you get those burns from?

If you open your diary you might get some specific help.

Hi! You said that your calorie intake recommendation was 1200. Do you have your account set for a 2lb/week loss? Lots of people have success losing around 1lb/week (or less!). Remember that you are in this for the long haul and want to establish habits that carry into life after weight loss. If a smaller loss each week is more manageable for you (giving you more calories!), then that is where you should set your account. Weight loss shouldn't feel like a punishment!

Don't forget that a food scale can be your best friend. Weigh your foods to the gram and feel confident in your logging. While weight loss may not be linear (you will have weeks where you stay the same or gain--your overall rate of loss is what matters), it doesn't have to be a mystery! My food scale is a completely empowering tool.

ardenspark wrote: »

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond with such thoughtful answers. I really do appreciate it and will look into the books/articles/writing exercises/etc. I also appreciate the kindness.

I do like the idea of just logging. Not restricting or exercising (not yet). However when I log into MFP, it tells me 1200 calories for my weight (which is in the obese category). This seems low to me. Is there a different method of figuring calories? I'm not used to calorie counting (WW does points).

Thank you again. You'll see me around...

You're being too aggressive with your weight loss goal if you're only getting 1200 calories. Set your goal to lose 1 pound per week and you'll get closer to 1500 calories. Lose a little more slowly and sustainably and learn how to eat to maintain your weight once you reach your goal. You really can do this.