1220 calories - Morbidly obese (obese Class 3) Male - Meal Suggestions - Assistance Needed.

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  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    edited November 2015
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    bloody88 wrote: »
    But even if he wouldn't have access to the fridge, he usually doesn't take no for an answer from his wife.

    Proof positive. This guy doesn't want to lose weight. And doesn't like being told "no, you can't have what you want." You are dealing with a toddler, not a grown man interested in his own health and well being.

    This. Weight loss is like a religion. Because it requires you change your entire mode of thinking and lifestyle and habits. You can take your pamphlets and your holy text to his door every day, but until this guy has his come-to-jesus moment, there is nothing you can do but wait in the wings to pick him back up from rock bottom. No one can be MADE to believe, and no one can lose weight until they believe. (in calorie counting, not Jesus, it's my understanding he loves everyone regardless)
  • foreverslim1111
    foreverslim1111 Posts: 2,612 Member
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    I think that the only thing that may save this guys life is bariatric surgery. You might want to suggest that if all else fails.
  • sdraper2014
    sdraper2014 Posts: 81 Member
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    Here is the way I see it, rather than focusing on meal plans he needs something like weight watchers that assigns points to foods or you need to do up a calorie information chart with serving sizes and weights and what the calories are. That way if his wife wants to make a meal for him she can weigh out foods on the chart, or weigh for recipes and follow the calorie information you gave her. You can probably already find that already done online if you look. Most packaged items have that information listed on the package, so she should be able to use food math. MFP does the math for you, but it is simple addition and divison for calories and servings. I think educating her about how to calculate his calories is the only thing you can do if she cooks most of the meals. Keep the calories low at 1200 knowing he will eat more than he should outside of those meals.

    Ultimately he does need to take responsibility for it, so maybe a whiteboard with a tally of calories eaten that he can see from where he spends most of his days might help as a reminder.

    In the end, it is all his choice and he will have to decide what he wants, nothing you can do unless it is a change he wants to be involved in, it is not a spectator activity to passively sit by and wait to happen based on the work of others.

    My father does not like counting calories and weighing food and logging it, my mother did that for him because she cooked all the meals and she was losing weight, but he did learn what the proper portions were for foods and he did learn to eat reasonable amounts, and not to snack in between meals. At the very least he needs to come away with that information to stay on track.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    edited November 2015
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    What are your meal plans? Can you modify then for the wife to prepare?
  • clare2403
    clare2403 Posts: 10 Member
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    There are companies where you can have food delivered to your door all calorie counted (you choose the calorie level) and planned out for the whole week. I don't think they're actually as expensive as you'd think. It means there's no thinking, no planning and it will all be nutritionally balanced. Also there's assured variety! As for the dairy free days... not sure. It's likely in the 21+ meals they deliver for the week there will be a few that can be specially pulled aside for those days. You can always google companies and see the types of meals they offer and see if they might fit in with him. This would take a lot of pressure off you and the wife...

    There's also online programs where they'll give you calorie counted meal plans, suggested exercises (for when he's able-bodied again) and motivational videos. I have heard really good things about 12wbt.com. The idea is you sign up to a cohort with a set starting date and they give you 12 weeks of meal plans, motivational talks and you can access message boards of other people doing the same program (well, you're not all doing exactly the same program, it depends on your goals and you choose the program type at the beginning) so you can chat, post questions, get moral support etc. Oh and it also includes educational videos on nutrition as well (what's a calorie etc etc). Might be good to get him jump-started and it doesn't involve much reading, just videos all planned out in a logical order to explain the process. I swear I don't work for the company, and there may well be others just like it, but it would take a bit of the educational/motivational/organisational pressure off you.
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
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    How about putting everything in containers into the fridge with weekdays marked on them? That way if the guy gets to the fridge by himself (or someone's getting snacks for him) he can only eat out of the day's container. No extra fruit or bread lying around the house, etc...
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    I think that the only thing that may save this guys life is bariatric surgery. You might want to suggest that if all else fails.

    I think his weight translates to about 238 lbs. Not sure if he's at that point yet, I guess.
  • bloody88
    bloody88 Posts: 120 Member
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    RodaRose wrote: »
    What are your meal plans? Can you modify then for the wife to prepare?

    My meal plans are too boring. I go ahead and keep it to basics. Chicken, tomato, yogurt and I can go ahead eating the same thing for days/weeks. I don't mind routine, i actually prefer it. When I want to change something I calculate the calories of the ingredients I want to use and add it.
    He is used to have more calorie rich and completed meals than that. Like beef casserole with spaghetti and cheese, possibly pie as a sidedish and bread.
    He doesn't mind dull dishes, as long as it's different one everyday.
    How about putting everything in containers into the fridge with weekdays marked on them? That way if the guy gets to the fridge by himself (or someone's getting snacks for him) he can only eat out of the day's container. No extra fruit or bread lying around the house, etc...

    That requires me to have preset meal plans for him.
    Which is what I was trying to achieve with this thread.
    Like
    1st day chicken,
    2nd day tuna,
    3rd day lentils,
    4rth beef,
    5th some vegitable stew,
    6th pork(tenderloin?),
    7th some sort of seafood?
    I lack recipes that will keep his total around 1220 calories while at the same time they are high in volume so he won't feel like he is starving with those meals.
    Calories tend to add up the way the average housewife cooks.
    What is the highest volume/low calorie recipe you guys know with the above list that is an actual dish and not plain protein with some vegetable on the side?
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    bloody88 wrote: »
    RodaRose wrote: »
    What are your meal plans? Can you modify then for the wife to prepare?

    My meal plans are too boring. I go ahead and keep it to basics. Chicken, tomato, yogurt and I can go ahead eating the same thing for days/weeks. I don't mind routine, i actually prefer it. When I want to change something I calculate the calories of the ingredients I want to use and add it.
    He is used to have more calorie rich and completed meals than that. Like beef casserole with spaghetti and cheese, possibly pie as a sidedish and bread.
    He doesn't mind dull dishes, as long as it's different one everyday.
    How about putting everything in containers into the fridge with weekdays marked on them? That way if the guy gets to the fridge by himself (or someone's getting snacks for him) he can only eat out of the day's container. No extra fruit or bread lying around the house, etc...

    That requires me to have preset meal plans for him.
    Which is what I was trying to achieve with this thread.
    Like
    1st day chicken,
    2nd day tuna,
    3rd day lentils,
    4rth beef,
    5th some vegitable stew,
    6th pork(tenderloin?),
    7th some sort of seafood?
    I lack recipes that will keep his total around 1220 calories while at the same time they are high in volume so he won't feel like he is starving with those meals.
    Calories tend to add up the way the average housewife cooks.
    What is the highest volume/low calorie recipe you guys know with the above list that is an actual dish and not plain protein with some vegetable on the side?

    How are you going to ensure he eats nothing else? You can prepare yourself a bowl of lentil soup, add just tiny amount of olive oil and you have a very low calorie meal. Then he is going to call his wife, ask for half a loaf of bread and 20 olives to go with it, because this is not really a meal, and a bit of bread will not really count, everybody eats bread with lentils, and are you trying to starve him by suggesting otherwise...
    No one eating enough to maintain a BMI above 40, will be happy and full on a 1200 calorie meal plan. Unless he accepts this, and is prepared to make changes, it will not work. He can blame having a broken bone, having kidney problems, his wife's cooking being too high calorie, or your meal plan being too boring. He is 40, he is not 3 and he is not 90 and senile.
  • Queenmunchy
    Queenmunchy Posts: 3,380 Member
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    bloody88 wrote: »
    I'm still wondering why you feel obligated to do this? Are you his caregiver? Why isn't his wife participating in overseeing his health and diet?

    It's not an obligation, as much as if I don't help him he will end up having diabetes in a couple of years from now. While having a poor quality of life.
    His wife can do as much as he allows her to. She cannot force him what to eat and what not.
    If I give him a weekly meal plan he will stick to it for the most part. His wife is willing to cook everything and weight stuff as long as she has preset product list and quantities.
    They don't know basic nutrition.
    For example pork side baked would mean as much as chicken breast if in the same quantity for them.

    It has to come from him and his wife (as his caregiver) but...
    When my grandmother - who can't understand any kind of nutrition information via doctor, nurse, lists, family, etc was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood sugar, I wanted to help because she doesn't cook. I'm a batch cooker so it was easy for me to portion and freeze like I always do and give her individual portions that were ready for her to heat and eat.
    It didn't work. She wasn't willing to change her diet, even though I made it easy. It has to come from within.
  • smotheredincheese
    smotheredincheese Posts: 559 Member
    edited November 2015
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    bloody88 wrote: »
    RodaRose wrote: »
    He is used to have more calorie rich and completed meals than that. Like beef casserole with spaghetti and cheese, possibly pie as a sidedish and bread.
    He doesn't mind dull dishes, as long as it's different one everyday.

    Can't he keep eating the same foods, but just less of them? His wife could serve him a half sized portion and bulk it out with salad.
    I don't understand why he can't exercise - obviously he can't put any weight on his legs at the moment but he could do upper body exercises.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
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    With proper form, those things that look like bicycles for your arms burns nearly as many calories as using a stationary bicycle. He can exercise if he wants to. He can count calories if he wants to.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    Spaghetti squash is great as a filler. It really doesn't taste like a vegetable. I'd mix it with the proper portion of pasta for someone like him, perhaps. So casseroles, etc, can be bulked out with it, I mean.

    Maybe popcorn as a snack?

    I can't think of any other good ones. If you aren't big on eating bowls of vegetables that taste like vegetables, bulk is hard to get, I think! Beans are awesome for health and blood sugar and to replace meat, but the calories can add up a bit if you replace pasta or rice with them (which I do for glucose problems).
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    edited November 2015
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    I think that the only thing that may save this guys life is bariatric surgery. You might want to suggest that if all else fails.

    Even bariatric surgery will not work if he is uninterested in taking control of his life and his weight. WLS is a tool and must be used with diet and exercise or it will not work either in the long run.
  • mysteps2beauty
    mysteps2beauty Posts: 494 Member
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    I'm sorry you are going through this. It seems as if you care for this person a great deal in order to put up with his resistance, complaining and demands. He does not seem to be motivated and no matter how many meals you design for him. Even if it's your father, you need to seek alternatives that do not involve you at your current level. If he is able to get up while in pain to get some food not on his diet plan, then he has the necessary willpower. He simply refuses to apply it to his food choices. You are enabling him and his wife.

    The first 2 weeks of any diet are challenging. That and being bed-ridden for the most part, makes it even more challenging. While you make plans to remove yourself from this current role, just suggest that he eat at maintenance for the first 2 weeks, then each week thereafter reduce the calories by 50/100 a week. At the end of 6 weeks, you will have quiet a diverse set of meals selections, plus time to adjust to the lower calories. Then get on with you life. Both of you need to have a deadline in which to complete this task. Lower weight means you are both succeeding, higher or same weight means you are both failing.
  • holly_roman
    holly_roman Posts: 116 Member
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    there are a bunch of recipes..just look up low calorie recipes for each of those items. He wants spaghetti..ok eggplant spaghetti(meat free day!) or those vegetable noodles(they are pretty good). Pork is easy, it is my main staple, we do pot roasts basically with pork. You can do it with any pork, like country style ribs..put it in an oven pan with high sides, add onions or other veggies(carrots etc), add a can of mushroom soup & water, add potatoes(red or gold are best). Stuffed pork, pulled pork, chicken and rice soup, chicken enchiladas, stuffed chicken, chicken and potatoe casserole. Tuna sandwich, tuna casserole(not a tuna fan). you can do cacciatory with chicken or beef or pork. you can do a stirfry(meat or no meat) with rice and tortillas. Taco night. make your own pizza night(really good thin pizza with olive oil, spinach, tomatoes, and chicken on it). There is what I call the triple boom= chicken, bacon(onion), and mac & cheese. There are seriously a million options. Only thing you and him have to remember is portion control. He can literally have anything he wants just within portion control. he wants coffee, great have coffee and count the cals. he wants a piece of fruit, then eat it but count it. he does not need to stop eating everything he loves or craves, just take it down a couple notches.
    I am going to reiterate what everyone else says though, if he isn't commited he will fail. No matter how hard you push or want him too, HE has to commit himself. and one more thing, his wife needs to tell him to go **** himself when he screams for more or she is enabling him. GL.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,951 Member
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    I've heard one needs extra calories when healing from a broken bone. But don't take my word for it - he really needs professional guidance. His doctor should refer him to a dietitian. You and his wife should go as well. Then you have the Voice of Authority to fall back on.

    However, you can't want this more than he does.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I think this guy is in a bubble of denial if he thinks his eating isn't killing him. But my experience is the most productive change is building towards a positive future instead of avoiding a terrible one.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwmI5XOYfUc

    For meal planning it is a lot easier to start with a "roast" at the beginning of the week and introduce variety by preparing it various ways (my hubby won't eat the same thing two days in a row either). For instance, a roast beef on Sunday becomes a stew on Monday, steak on salad on Tuesday, and a stir fry on Wednesday.

    Preparation methods include roasting, stews, pastas, salads, sandwiches and stir fries.

    For meal ideas, try
    https://www.eatthismuch.com/
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
    edited November 2015
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    I'm a psychologist, and it is a big warning sign if I find myself working harder than my patients. He needs to be working harder than you at this. You can be one of his guides, but he needs to be the primary person making this happen. What are his reasons for losing weight? What is he willing to change? What would be the pay-off for him? Where are things headed if he doesn't start to take ownership of his health? The best thing you can to is be a source of encouragement and help him problem-solve, but if you continue to work harder than him it won't go anywhere. Most fairly motivated and flexible people don't succeed at weight loss, let alone someone who already has a bunch of stipulations and "yeah, buts..."

    He might benefit from working with a psychologist or dietitian with training in motivational interviewing, which can help people get unstuck and figure out THEIR reasons for change. I also agree that given his medical history and prediabetes, a diet plan should come from a dietitian. You may be inadvertently doing more harm than good. Also, 1200 is very low, 1500 would be more appropriate.