Tired of people "helping"? I definitely am.

It's that time of year again. The holidays. In many ways for many people, that's a good thing. You reconnect with your family, you have a couple of drinks, you exchange gifts, etc. I do enjoy seeing both my own family and my in-laws during the holidays, and I love the coziness of the fall/winter months in general. There is a bad side to that though too, and I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about: when relatives give you advice you didn't ask for and don't want to hear because you just know it's wrong or it goes against absolutely everything you know and stand for. And with family, even the tiniest, most minuscule piece of unsolicited advice can be enough to send you through the roof. (At least that's how it is with me.) Family just has that knack for being unintentionally annoying.

This year, for me, there is a new variable being thrown in with the normal holiday annoyances: the subject of my weight loss. I will admit that right now I think it's a lot of fun to go to gatherings and see people I haven't seen in awhile. It's not so much that I like being the center of attention, but more that it's nice to see that my hard work (65 lbs. of weight loss) is not only noticeable to people the second they see me, but is downright shocking. My wife and I were at a Halloween party with some people last weekend, and several of the people there literally didn't recognize me. (As we were leaving, the host actually pulled us aside and said that there was a group of people in the kitchen talking about how my wife must have gotten divorced and remarried over the last year or so.) Those are THRILLING moments! It means I have achieved my goal!!!

But then always comes the advice. Here was a conversation with my sister this week:

sister: You're doing really well! Nice job!
me: Thanks! I have about 10 more lbs. to go and it's going pretty slow, but I'll get there.
sister: Oh, really? Have you tried lifting weights?
me: It's not about that--it's just that I'm close to goal and it's just going slower because I've upped my calories.
sister: Have you tried giving up dairy?
me: Oh my god, no. Why would I do that? I love dairy.
sister: Have you tried cross fit?

It just went on and on like that, and that's how almost all conversation of that nature go. If I mention that my weight loss has slowed to a crawl, I get a zillion suggestions, 99% of which are based on junk science and myths. The biggest one is always "Have you tried lifting weights?" Even when I explain to people, "No, based on an MRI that shows I have severe degenerative disc disease in my lower back as well as nerve damage, my physical therapist has advised that I stay far away from weight lifting." And what's the response to that? "How about just light weights?"

The "helping" never ends. In fact, for some reason, as I get smaller and smaller and healthier and healthier, the amount of "help" people want to give me INCREASES!!!! I want to scream at people, "I'm at least 100 lbs. lighter than you if not more! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO HELP ME IN THE FIRST PLACE????"

It's only early November. It's about to get worse. Thanksgiving is coming. So is Christmas. New Year too. I think to cope, I'm going to make a master list of all the "suggestions" I get from family about how to lose this last 10 lbs. and then turn the list into another forum post in January. Another thing I'm going to try doing when getting compliments is just saying "Thanks!" instead of my standard, "Thanks! I still have a little ways to go, but I'm almost there!"

But most importantly, for those of you who are like me and get incredibly easily annoyed by your families and their supposed constructive criticism: I feel your pain, and stand with you. We will get through the holidays together, ok?