Binge

alittlelife14
alittlelife14 Posts: 339 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Tomorrow at 8am I am going to get help for my disordered eating
For the last 7 months I have been on a roller coaster of issues. Started off overly restricting my calories and weighing and logging everything and still eating about 500 to 700 calories most days. Then I would binge at night. Several thousands of cslories at a time. Thinking about food all the time. All. The. Time. Then I got my hands on Garcinia cambogia and hydroxycut. Hydroxycut made me so sick and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I got back on the horse and upped my calories to like 1000 but still found myself late night binge. Then I stated having these 3am wake ups where I was sweaty and needed to eat.

Now recently I have been binging and throwing away foods and then eating them out of garbage. I have even stooped to taking laxatives a few times to try and compensate. Lastly, over past week I tried keto diet for 8 days and succeeded first couple days until I had a quest bar which spiked my carb cravings and sent me out of ketosis and into bloated hell. Now last night I got my hands on my two boxes of quests which had about 20 total left and opened each and every one and took a bite of every one and threw them away as I went. So probably ate about 10 quest bars collectively last night. Feeling terrible and at the last straw of everything. Tomorrow is my appointment and I don't know what to do until then besides eat and eat some more.

If anyone could provide feedback, input, etc, I would appreciate it more than anything. I need support right now if anyone would reach out :(
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Replies

  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,710 Member
    I'm so sorry you're struggling right now, but good for you for making an appointment! Eating from now until then will NOT help. It will only make you feel worse. I think you should create a diary or a time log (similar to what you posted) about what you've done, what you've tried, how it affected you, etc. and take it with you tomorrow. Take notes during your session and read them afterwards.

    This is a good start. You aren't alone. Many people deal with similar issues. Just know that you CAN overcome it!
  • beemerphile1
    beemerphile1 Posts: 1,710 Member
    Good luck, I wish you success.
  • JuliaJ645
    JuliaJ645 Posts: 3 Member
    I suggest you tell your doctor what you just told us now. That's the best advice I can give you.
  • Bizzarrini
    Bizzarrini Posts: 69 Member
    I have no experience or advice to give but sending you love and hoping you get good help and find a way to manage this. It sounds horrendous for you. xx
  • soapsandropes
    soapsandropes Posts: 269 Member
    Glad that you are getting help with this, wishing you much success in the future. Tell the doctor the truth, do no sugar coat it. Internet hugs if it will help.
  • cwagar123
    cwagar123 Posts: 195 Member
    Good for you for recognizing that you needed some help... that is a hard hard thing to do. You have spoken very honestly here and seem to really want to be healthier. I wish you nothing but the best.
  • jnnyp
    jnnyp Posts: 7 Member
    I guess recognising this and seeking help is the first step. I know it's a real struggle but you will get through this. I have had this issue too for the past few months where I find myself binging in the evening - eating 5 Kit Kats, 5 caramel wafers and 3 pieces of bread with huge spread of peanut butter. What I found really help was sticking to scheduled eating times and not restricting my food for breakfast and lunch. I know evenings are hard so I tend to stay with friends or family to stop myself from binging - as most of the time, I do it secretly/privately so when I'm with people I don't do it.
  • alittlelife14
    alittlelife14 Posts: 339 Member
    Thank you everyone for feedback. Today has been rough since my appointment is tomorrow so I am just wsiting. I am scared of how many total quest bars I ate since I just directed them all piece by piece and had 18 to start with. Likely ate about 13 to be realistic. How much weight will I gain? I had so much fiber and so much crap I just don't know when or how this is ever going to dtop
  • brianpperkins
    brianpperkins Posts: 6,124 Member
    Print out all of your threads over the past few months and bring them to your appointment. Show your doctor what you've been revealing here for a while.
  • Achaila
    Achaila Posts: 264 Member
    I'm in recovery for bulimia. I've been in and out for the past 10 years. Good luck, and it's great that you're getting help.
  • jnnyp
    jnnyp Posts: 7 Member
    Stop worrying and don't over think! Don't think about weight loss/gaining weight... Drink lots of water and make sure you're not by yourself. Ring a friend...
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    sarsather wrote: »
    Tomorrow at 8am I am going to get help for my disordered eating
    For the last 7 months I have been on a roller coaster of issues. Started off overly restricting my calories and weighing and logging everything and still eating about 500 to 700 calories most days. Then I would binge at night. Several thousands of cslories at a time. Thinking about food all the time. All. The. Time. Then I got my hands on Garcinia cambogia and hydroxycut. Hydroxycut made me so sick and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I got back on the horse and upped my calories to like 1000 but still found myself late night binge. Then I stated having these 3am wake ups where I was sweaty and needed to eat.

    Now recently I have been binging and throwing away foods and then eating them out of garbage. I have even stooped to taking laxatives a few times to try and compensate. Lastly, over past week I tried keto diet for 8 days and succeeded first couple days until I had a quest bar which spiked my carb cravings and sent me out of ketosis and into bloated hell. Now last night I got my hands on my two boxes of quests which had about 20 total left and opened each and every one and took a bite of every one and threw them away as I went. So probably ate about 10 quest bars collectively last night. Feeling terrible and at the last straw of everything. Tomorrow is my appointment and I don't know what to do until then besides eat and eat some more.

    If anyone could provide feedback, input, etc, I would appreciate it more than anything. I need support right now if anyone would reach out :(

    That you've shared it here is huge, and even bigger is the fact that you're getting help. I've worn shoes similar to yours and know how difficult that road is, so please know I am rooting for you 100 percent.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
    I'm glad your getting help tomorrow! :)
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,897 Member
    sarsather wrote: »
    Thank you everyone for feedback. Today has been rough since my appointment is tomorrow so I am just wsiting. I am scared of how many total quest bars I ate since I just directed them all piece by piece and had 18 to start with. Likely ate about 13 to be realistic. How much weight will I gain? I had so much fiber and so much crap I just don't know when or how this is ever going to dtop

    The calories in this batch of Quest bars are far less important than healing your relationship with food. Print out your OP and show your therapist.

    {{{{{ hugs }}}}}
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Good job recognizing that something is wrong. And even better job making an appointment to get some help. BED is a recognized eating disorder, and getting treatment is definitely heading in the right direction.
  • kisses71213
    kisses71213 Posts: 97 Member
    I'm a binge eater and have struggled my whole life... over much trial and error, this is the plan that has helped me the most: Eating/saving all my cals. until the end of the day *(usually I'll have 2 decent sized meals -a medium lunch and larger dinner w/ dessert at the end of both meals), I eat more protein, and pre-make/measure/record meals with a small dessert/treat at the end (which is the only thing I look forward to). I still binge occasionally, but nothing as bad as before. I have been losing weight by eating this way.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    I am really glad you are getting help for your eating disorder.

    You know what? It's actually really easy to fall into this type of 'trap' with food, so know that you aren't alone and certainly have nothing to be ashamed of here. The best thing you can do right now is reach out and get to the bottom of these issues - and I promise it can be done.

    In my opinion, I'd suggest taking a step back from MFP. You don't need the constant "LOSE WEIGHT" posts in your face, you really, really don't. This isn't going to heal you.

    Wishing you the very best of luck.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
    brianpperkins wrote: »
    Print out all of your threads over the past few months and bring them to your appointment. Show your doctor what you've been revealing here for a while.

    Great advice!

    Good luck today at your appointment x
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    Good luck today! :)
  • alittlelife14
    alittlelife14 Posts: 339 Member
    Thank you so much everyone. My appointment is over and I a home now. She drew alot of labs and is concerned that my kidneys may be overly stressed from the majorly high protein intake from always going insane on quest bars and such. She said that inpatient therapy isn't the best bet for me and that she may start me on Prozac. I was referred now to a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders and I I see her next Wedndsday. Until then, I have some questions and hope for some sdvice.

    I have a week to wait to see her, so how should I approach my eating? Today so far I am still awaiting my body to clear out my quest bar binge and just feel bloated. I started the day with oatmeal with frozen berries in it.
    My boyfriend wants to take me to noodles and company from dinner tonight. This week should I just eat with much less restrictions, or should I try very hard to eat heslthy and normal without eating out?

    How should I prevent binge episodes for the next 7 days?

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