Does your weight affect your relationships?

Okay guys, little down today. :frown:

I'm doing great with my weight loss/exercise etc but DH has been complaining the last few months about how I push him away all the time when he wants to be all snugly and romantic. When I met him I was about 175 - 180 and had absolutely no problem with this. Since being with him and having a baby, I'm up to 210 and I realized that its just not comfortable! I don't want to be messed with or touched or anything. I just feel lumpy and gross. I just can't seem to think of anything else when he wants to be intimate! Its to the point where I don't even want him to hug me! :sad:

I've said as much to DH and he just gets angry at me, asking me why I'm punishing HIM because he loves every part of me (Even the DREADED tummy roll). Its making me impatient for those 30lbs to come off, because I want to have a healthy relationship again!

Anyone else have a similar problem? Its amazing to me that 30lbs can make that much of a difference. Any of my lovely MFPers that have overcome (or are tryng to overcome) such a problem?

Thanks ladies. :flowerforyou:

Let me try and give you some perspective on this as a Man and a Husband.
My wife and I started this together and I am very proud of the 13 pounds that she has lost.
When I married my wife I did so because I knew that she was the best friend I will ever have. The kind of love that a man feels for his wife is incredible and regardless of her weight she will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I know that a weight problem hits your self esteem pretty hard. I know because I have been there and it is terrible to feel undesireable. Regardless of how you feel about yourself it is very important to understand that your husband feels very differently. My wife has given me so much, she has given me two beautiful children, a feeling of home and most of my happiest memories. I can't imagine ever being without her and I thank god every day that I can call her my wife. I am excited that she has joined me on this journey in hopes that our healthy lifestyle will give us more years together. But it has nothing to do with whether I find her attractive. How could I not find her attractive. She's the center of my universe. My rock. My heart. When your husband says he loves every part of you...(Dreaded tummy roll included), he means it. It's a tough bump to try and get over but you need to try for his sake...and yours for that matter. If it helps try and think of something wrong with him like a hairy butt or something. You might find it hard to point out the flaws and maybe then you will realize how your husband feels about you.

I think that you are very lucky that you have someone that wants to hug you and touch you, and you should be loving it . Loving someone does not have anything to do with your "fat rolls", it's from the heart. Touch is something very important, when you are hugging someone or touching them, you are sending your energy to each other, this is a primitive form of communication, showing that you care for each other. If you want a healthy relationship with him, hug him and touch him, it's a very important part of relationships...you are very lucky. :flowerforyou:

I certainly keep the lights off!!!
But we're the opposite. I'm always after it and he's not interested. Of course I think it's because of my weight. Who wouldn't? But he swears he just doesn't have much of a drive.
So, we'll see when I'm hot again...if he's all over me then, I'll know the truth.

I certainly keep the lights off!!!
But we're the opposite. I'm always after it and he's not interested. Of course I think it's because of my weight. Who wouldn't? But he swears he just doesn't have much of a drive.
So, we'll see when I'm hot again...if he's all over me then, I'll know the truth.

I'm with you. I always want it and he doesn't. He finally broke down and told me it's because of HIS weight. He feels uncomfortable and feel like he is about to have a heart attack. So we are losing weight together and he has promised me that we will be intimate again!

The thing we need to keep in mind.... we are usually our worst critics.
I think I am fat, ugly, etc a lot of the time.
The thing to remember is not EVERYONE sees us through our eyes.
My fiance thinks I am beautiful... even though I am paranoid about stretch marks, sagging, etc.

I do believe that a big reason why some people want to be "skinny" is due to media, peer pressure, expectations of others. timbish: I can totally believe your fiance when he says that women do it for themselves and other women. WHICH IS TRUE! Most of us are here because WE want to look/feel better/more attractive for ourselves (which isn't bad).

I used to obsess about this issue.... will he like me even though I am fluffy....
What it's boiled down to though is that I have to accept myself in WHATEVER skin I am in.
I have struggled in a skinny body, in a pregnant body, in the one I have now.... it's MY INTERNAL struggle. Sure, I know guys who think Angelina Jolie is hot.... back in reality world.... they know they aren't EVER gonna get her.

Make sense? You gotta love what you got.... or you'll end up hating yourself longer then you ought.