Restarting Again and feeling like a failure

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chrissietiny
chrissietiny Posts: 98 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi, my name is Chrissie. I am a work at home mom to seven children. I work as a professional blogger about soaps and reality TV. As you can imagine, my writing keeps me tied to my desk most of the day as it requires about 10-11 hours of work per day six days a week.
I lost 120 pounds a few years ago. I know I can do it, but I have struggled with the motivation. I am struggling with migraines[ doctor is changing my maintenance med]. I had a complete hysterectomy in 2011. I am starting the process of weaning off hormone therapy- a six-month process.
Yesterday, I saw my doctor, and I have gained 60 of the 120 lost. I basically have to start over, and I feel so defeated. I am posting in hopes that the accountability will force me to finally do something about my weight loss and exercise routine.
I am open to making new friends or any suggestions that would help me through my journey :)
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Replies

  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    How can you be a failure if your starting over, failure would be giving up, not attempting to lose it again.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
    edited November 2015
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    chrissietiny wrote: »
    I lost 120 pounds a few years ago. I know I can do it...
    I have gained 60 of the 120 lost. I basically have to start over, and I feel so defeated.

    Bottom line here in my reading:
    • You are still down around 60 pounds even with a lot going on in life.
    • You Need to not look at being busy and such as an excuse, but find ways to make eating and exercise a priority again - one that fits in with your struggles. But it HAS TO happen.
    • You are not defeat, just stepped back. Defeat would be quitting and not trying.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    What worked for you before? Did you also experience stress and difficulties during that period of time when you were losing? What strengths and good decisions helped you to lose weight even with the challenges?
  • kathycan25
    kathycan25 Posts: 4 Member
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    Hi Chrissie! I can't tell you how many times I have started over, but I have vowed that this will be the last time. I know how that it feels like you have failed but you are NOT a failure. Happy to be there for you for additional support. I found that finding a walking buddy has helped me tremendously. Helps keep me accountable. You can do this! Feel free to friend me
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
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    It doesn't matter how many times we try or fail. Remember, you may bump into future failures as well, but you can keep trying!
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

    What matters is that you have not given up. You are not a failure. You are just learning how to be a better version of yourself. You can hardly be expected to be an expert on the first try.
  • chrissietiny
    chrissietiny Posts: 98 Member
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    I have completed p90x twice. I have done Chalean Extreme once, and complete Jillian body rev once. I also was a runner and ran several 3 K races. I was on track until my dream job came along. Not an excuse exactly, I just lack the self-discipline to plan my time.
    The thing is I know what to do. I just feel overwhelmed by it all.

  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    what is one thing you can do today that will help you feel like you've gotten started again?
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,973 Member
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    I work from home. I don't have to take a lunch break at any particular time, or at all, so although I love to exercise sometimes I would blow it off. Logging on MFP helps with that - I don't like to go over my calories, and in order to get enough calories, I need to earn some from exercise. I shoot for taking lunch at noon, and usually make it by 1. That's for cardio, which I do every day that's not pouring down rain.

    For strength training, I joined a gym with a membership that only allows me to go on Tuesdays, Thursday, and the weekend. That forced me into a routine because (except for Saturday) I can't blow off my workout day and say I'll go tomorrow.

    Planning your time just takes some work to get into the habit - you can do it! :)
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    You don't have to do it all. Whatever "it all: is to you. Start with one thing. When you are comfortable with that add another. Also you don't need that big a deficit to lose weight. Maybe you should start with a smaller goal or even just eating at maintenance before you start cutting calories. Get used to using the tools first and then work on eating less. It isn't a race. You don't have to get to a certain goal by a certain time. You just have to be heading in the right general direction.
  • LilynEdensmom
    LilynEdensmom Posts: 612 Member
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    this is my fourth time starting over, last time i left off i was around 170, this time i started at239 ... dont feel bad, like you said you know you can do it
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
    edited November 2015
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    I'd suggest taking a good, hard look at what you did last time, because it didn't work long-term. Whatever had you gaining the weight back needs to be addressed this time around. While you're losing, you want to do whatever you're planning to do when you're done losing so that you don't gain the weight back. That might mean adding (or not doing) exercise or making dietary changes or whatever.

    60 pounds isn't that much to lose. You'll probably be done by this time next year. Keeping it off, though - that's the trick.

    Figure out where you went wrong and fix it.

    But don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself or beating yourself up. It's pointless, unproductive...and kind of mean. If you wouldn't say it to someone else don't say it to yourself. No more "I'm a failure." Now say, "I'm not a failure because..." and fill in the blanks with successes and actions taken toward success. Sounds hokey, but it works and is a much better and more helpful plan than, "I hate myself, I'm such a failure, I'm so fat, I'm so disappointed in me," etc.

    Stay positive. :)

    And God bless you for being a mom to seven children!
  • amyepdx
    amyepdx Posts: 750 Member
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    What I like to think is this - If you were driving from LA to NY and you took a wrong turn & ended up in TX, you wouldn't go back to LA, you would keep going to NY on a different route! You might have to ask for directions, but you'll get there!!
  • amyepdx
    amyepdx Posts: 750 Member
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    PS if you are self employed as a blogger, you must have lots of self-discipline to get your work done and take care of 7 kids!
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
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    You've got a full plate! And I feel you on the migraines, I had to get mine straightened out before I could come out of my depression. I hadn't realized how much the pain of them was holding me back in so many ways.

    I will echo what everyone else has said though, do stop trying to look at the big picture. The idea here is to incorporate things into your life as it is now.

    It sounds like you know what changes you need to make, but the idea of making them all at once is overwhelming. Well, simply don't do that. It also sounds like some of what you did before isn't feasible since your time is being spent differently now.

    Prioritize your goals, and focus on implementing one thing at a time. When each "thing" has become routine, implement the next. Achieving these mini goals will build confidence in you, and you'll feel less overwhelmed and much more positive about things.

    Good luck.
  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 667 Member
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    chrissietiny wrote: »
    I have completed p90x twice. I have done Chalean Extreme once, and complete Jillian body rev once. I also was a runner and ran several 3 K races. I was on track until my dream job came along. Not an excuse exactly, I just lack the self-discipline to plan my time.
    The thing is I know what to do. I just feel overwhelmed by it all.


    Maybe because in your mind you're trying to climb Mount Everest right out of the gate. The fitness accomplishments you listed above are all fantastic, and are reason to be proud,but since youre just starting to get back into fitness with this new dream job, why don't you look into smaller steps until you can make room for larger steps.
    I too work at home from my computer. I have built my business over several years and worked literally around the clock to make it work. Then one day I looked at my *kitten* and said WTF happened here??
    I started with baby steps and went on YouTube looking for 2o minute workouts ( that's all the time I could conceive of giving up from my business). I found a 15 minute workout series that I did every day. From that I joined MFP. From that I figured out that the more exercise I could fit in, the more I could eat and still lose weight. Fast forward 4 months later, and I now exercise approx one hour 6-7 days a week on average. I've never felt better, and at 54 years old am close to being in the best shape of my life,and expect to get in even better shape.
    But I got here doing baby steps.
    And yes, my business is doing as well as ever. The windows of my house may need a good cleaning, and the laundry is never caught up, but my health and happiness is more important.
    So is yours...
  • frankiesgirlie
    frankiesgirlie Posts: 667 Member
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    frankiesgirlie wrote: »
    chrissietiny wrote: »
    I have completed p90x twice. I have done Chalean Extreme once, and complete Jillian body rev once. I also was a runner and ran several 3 K races. I was on track until my dream job came along. Not an excuse exactly, I just lack the self-discipline to plan my time.
    The thing is I know what to do. I just feel overwhelmed by it all.


    Maybe because in your mind you're trying to climb Mount Everest right out of the gate. The fitness accomplishments you listed above are all fantastic, and are reason to be proud,but since youre just starting to get back into fitness with this new dream job, why don't you look into smaller steps until you can make room for larger steps.
    I too work at home from my computer. I have built my business over several years and worked literally around the clock to make it work. Then one day I looked at my *kitten* and said WTF happened here??
    I started with baby steps and went on YouTube looking for 2o minute workouts ( that's all the time I could conceive of giving up from my business). I found a 15 minute workout series that I did every day. From that I joined MFP. From that I figured out that the more exercise I could fit in, the more I could eat and still lose weight. Fast forward 4 months later, and I now exercise approx one hour 6-7 days a week on average. I've never felt better, and at 54 years old am close to being in the best shape of my life,and expect to get in even better shape.
    But I got here doing baby steps.
    And yes, my business is doing as well as ever. The windows of my house may need a good cleaning, and the laundry is never caught up, but my health and happiness is more important.
    So is yours...


    Oops! Got censored! Should read...one day I looked at my hiney and said what the heck?LOL
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
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    Speaking of standing up ... Maybe a standing desk for sown of your work? I have a fancy one at the office and bought a cheap podium from Amazon for home. Standing makes me much more focused, for some reason than sitting and it's healthier for the body.
  • rustyquinn
    rustyquinn Posts: 41 Member
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    I'm starting over again too. But I gained way more than I lost.

    I can't remember this quote correctly but it goes something like this. "if you fall five times, get up six"
  • Linzon
    Linzon Posts: 294 Member
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    Psychgrrl wrote: »
    Speaking of standing up ... Maybe a standing desk for sown of your work? I have a fancy one at the office and bought a cheap podium from Amazon for home. Standing makes me much more focused, for some reason than sitting and it's healthier for the body.

    To build on this, I have a makeshift desk set up on my treadmill. Instead of being bored out of my mind while getting some exercise I can get work done instead and an hour or two passes like nothing,

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