Time to Grow Up

millerll
millerll Posts: 873 Member
edited September 28 in Health and Weight Loss
A lot of people come on here and post about their struggles with health. I read these, and shake my head sometimes. It’s one thing to ask for advice dealing with a tough situation, but it’s quite another to refuse to take any responsibility for your choices. It’s time to put on your big boy/girl pants and start practicing some accountability.

1. “I can’t stop eating ______.” Yes, you can. You are choosing NOT to. Big difference. Examine what may have influenced you to make the bad decision and work on changing that.

2. “My husband/kids won’t eat healthy food.” Well, if you’re the one cooking, they’ll eat what you make, or they can make their own meals. It won’t kill them to eat a healthy meal. You’re not a damn servant.

3. “I can’t get motivated to exercise/ eat well.” No one else can motivate you. Others can INSPIRE you, but only YOU can find the motivation within yourself to venture outside your comfort zone, be that with exercise or diet. You have to really want to make a change from within yourself.

4. “I don’t like vegetables.” Oh, please. Grow up. What are you, 5 years old? There are some people who could literally live on steamed broccoli, but most of us, not so much. Being an adult means sometimes doing things you’re not too keen on. I don’t like mopping floors and cleaning toilets, but you know what? It has to get done, do I just suck it up and do it. Same with veggies. You just gotta eat them if you want to be healthy. So experiment with different ways of preparing them until you find something you can tolerate. Even if it means you have to put some cheese on them or something, do it. You don’t have to love them, but you do have to eat them.

Yeah, we’re all here to support one another. But I can’t make you stop eating crap. I can’t make you stop feeding your family crap and then picking off their plates. I can’t make you find the motivation to exercise. I can’t make you eat your darn veggies.

What are your goals? Why are you here? Then do what it takes to achieve those goals, one step at a time. Learn from your set-backs and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And, yes, certainly learn from the mistakes and successes of others here, but take some control of your choices and learn responsibility and accountability. It’s called being an adult.

Keep up the good work and best of luck on your journey!
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Replies

  • kportelli70
    kportelli70 Posts: 67
    LOVE IT !!!!! ;)
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
    AMEN!!!
  • Kayceeg27
    Kayceeg27 Posts: 10 Member
    Thank you.
  • Countrymade
    Countrymade Posts: 183 Member
    Well said.
    Thumbs up with this post!!
  • chicpower1
    chicpower1 Posts: 169 Member
    AMEN sister! I hear you on that and agree 100%!
  • fmorpurgo
    fmorpurgo Posts: 32
    Well said that woman!
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member

    4. “I don’t like vegetables.” Oh, please. Grow up. What are you, 5 years old? There are some people who could literally live on steamed broccoli, but most of us, not so much. Being an adult means sometimes doing things you’re not too keen on. I don’t like mopping floors and cleaning toilets, but you know what? It has to get done, do I just suck it up and do it. Same with veggies. You just gotta eat them if you want to be healthy. So experiment with different ways of preparing them until you find something you can tolerate. Even if it means you have to put some cheese on them or something, do it. You don’t have to love them, but you do have to eat them.

    That is so funny-- exactly what I think every time I read that. How about there are thousands of veggies. You don't like carrots? Really? Raw, steamed, ground up in pasta sauce, etc? Thousands of veggies, thousands of ways to serve them. Start experimenting.
  • chantel111184
    chantel111184 Posts: 124 Member
    same as above i agree
  • justann
    justann Posts: 276 Member
    Two thumbs up!!!!!
  • SquishyVicki
    SquishyVicki Posts: 280 Member
    Well said! I think you've put into words what most of us have been thinking :smile: Vx
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    One I have seen quite few times on here...

    Someone being upset because a very young child has referred to them as fat, and everyone rallying round and telling them how rude the child's parents are to allow them to speak like that.

    Instead of getting dreadfully upset that someone else's four year old has not yet learned manners, which is not something you can change, take responsibility for your body, and how you feel about it - that is something you can change if you want to.

    Instead of reacting "How outrageous, what a rude kid" how about reacting - "That kid was right, I am fat and it upsets me, so I need to deal with it - nobody else is going to do it for me".
  • beckyobsm
    beckyobsm Posts: 44 Member
    LOVE THIS POST!
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
    Thanks for this. Sometimes we all need a slap down from reality. The truth may hurt or be hard to hear, but the truth is the truth. Something we all need to hear cause that is the only place to really start.
  • tinamina78
    tinamina78 Posts: 241 Member
    Well stated and spot on. Thank you!
  • doodlebug66
    doodlebug66 Posts: 3
    I so agree.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    Right on, OP! Even with the veggie thing -- I personally don't do raw veggies. Just can't, they make me sick. But I've been continually working at it, and now I can actually eat (and enjoy!) a salad if it has the right combination of protein and something dry like croutons or tortilla strips. It just takes practice.
    One I have seen quite few times on here...

    Someone being upset because a very young child has referred to them as fat, and everyone rallying round and telling them how rude the child's parents are to allow them to speak like that.

    Instead of getting dreadfully upset that someone else's four year old has not yet learned manners, which is not something you can change, take responsibility for your body, and how you feel about it - that is something you can change if you want to.

    Instead of reacting "How outrageous, what a rude kid" how about reacting - "That kid was right, I am fat and it upsets me, so I need to deal with it - nobody else is going to do it for me".

    And especially since kids at that age don't understand manners, even if you do teach them. They just talk. They say whatever they think, because they don't have a filter yet. But there's always this rush to blame the mom. I've been lucky in that my kids haven't ever said something like that about someone in public within that person's hearing. But they do point out my "squishy parts", and they ask me about people in wheelchairs and such. They're not rude. They're kids. And we talk about it, but I'm not going to punish them just because they're too young to understand why an observation can be hurtful.
  • makena78
    makena78 Posts: 162 Member
    I agree with most of this. But get real...if someone doesn't like vegetables and can't stand them then they are not acting like a 5 year old. You can't compare that to cleaning toilets. I'm actually pretty healthy and getting even healthier without eating veggies everyday. I eat the ones I like when I'm in the mood and yes supplements do help with the job. I don't eat crap and just because someone doesn't like vegetable does not mean they are eating crap. You are right about most everything as people do make excuses. There is no room for excuses when it comes to our health. However, don't confuse eating healthy with only one way of eating. As there is a great variety of healthy foods that can supplement for those that we hate.
  • RCKT82
    RCKT82 Posts: 409 Member
    Great point! Thanks for the post!

    If you want the results, you have to step up and take control. Deciding on excuses will never get you anywhere. Everyone needs to decide on what they deem acceptable for a standard of living. letting anyone dictate where you are is a decision you need to ultimately have to live with. Everyone needs to put on their game face and take control! suck it up, eat your veggies, don't use the excuse I'll start tomorrow. Now now now!
  • pmusholt
    pmusholt Posts: 22 Member
    That realley a good post. It's what we need to hear. thank you
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
    I think, esepcailly with the excerise, people don't set out realistic targets. So when they cant achieve them, they get upset, get put off and whine.

    I've not had proper regular excercise for five years, when I left school at 16, so setting myself a stupid target of doing an hour of constant pedling on my faithful stationary cycle would be terrible irresponsiable and pointless. Instead I'm setting myself a steady target, working my way up from stints of ten minutes to my eventual target of an hour.
  • shelcof
    shelcof Posts: 62 Member
    Brilliant
    Thank you
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
    Exactly.

    Also, Google is an awesome tool. Learn to use it.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    All true, i often think this when i hear or read these comments.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
    One I have seen quite few times on here...

    Someone being upset because a very young child has referred to them as fat, and everyone rallying round and telling them how rude the child's parents are to allow them to speak like that.

    Instead of getting dreadfully upset that someone else's four year old has not yet learned manners, which is not something you can change, take responsibility for your body, and how you feel about it - that is something you can change if you want to.

    Instead of reacting "How outrageous, what a rude kid" how about reacting - "That kid was right, I am fat and it upsets me, so I need to deal with it - nobody else is going to do it for me".

    What a great, positive, healthy attitude you have. You must have children or maybe just be empathetic enough to understand how a child's mind works.

    An older child / preteen, yes, rude.

    A kid my kid's age-- GREAT sample response.
  • velix
    velix Posts: 437 Member
    I would add only one other thing to the original... when people go into panic mode after one week of "doing everything right" ....

    I think the biggest part of making real change is learning to be realistic and taking the time to learn about how the whole weight loss / getting healthy thing works. The time, the effort, the energy required to make serious changes in nutrition and exercise habits.

    I understand getting discouraged after a while - we have all been there, took some time to brood about it, and then made the choice to make some changes and move on. I get so frustrated reading about how people expect big numbers every week right off the bat - or people who claim to do 'everything' right yet nothing's working.... I've learned that slow and steady wins the race (so far - and for me) - I have never seen a 2lbs loss in one week, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen changes in my body, energy level, disposition, etc. There is much more than the scale to measure progress.

    /rant off ;-)
  • katekrise
    katekrise Posts: 178 Member
    I completely agree!!!!!
  • jessradtke
    jessradtke Posts: 418 Member
    I can not tell you how many times people who "don't like vegetables" come to my house for dinner and end up saying "I don't like green beans (beets, spinach, or whatever), but I liked yours!" I don't think it's only my recipes, because they are different all the time. I think it's just that they haven't bothered to try vegetables in years because they've talked themselves into believing they "don't like them". They are also often afraid to try vegetable recipes at their homes because they're afraid they won't like them and will waste their money. So, if you think you don't like to veggies, try eating veggies at a veggie lover's house! You could also order one different vegetable every time you go out to eat. It's only one little serving. If you really don't like it you aren't throwing out a whole batch.
  • ladyjammie
    ladyjammie Posts: 12 Member
    I love it!!! Totally agree!
  • graysmom2005
    graysmom2005 Posts: 1,882 Member
    How many veggies are there? HUNDREDS! Must be some that are enjoyable! LOL! Good, hard hitting post. It is true. You can't motivate someone. I had a stress fracture from a half marathon I did a few months back, and decided to take my friend's water aerobics class for some light movement (as a spinning instructor this was torture. LOL!) But there was an overweight lady who talked to my friend/instructor and me after with about 1000 excuses as to why she doesn't do more..kids..blah.blah.blah. (there is free child care....this and that....and then my FAVORITE....wait for it...."I don't like to sweat." WELL, then I'm sorry. Not much else we can do. She will have a horrible weight struggle her entire life...unless of course a light bulb goes off which can ALWAYS happen. :-) I had to have my own moment of AHA...each to their own, you know?
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
    I'm sure many of us were full of excuses at one time or another (i know i was)... but you know what, the excuses didn't make me happy or satisfied with my body or my energy levels.

    It's very liberating to acknowledge that you were making excuses and stop with them, and get some accountability. amazing results ensue if you are 100% honest with yourself and others.

    Oh, i don't know why i put on weight, i eat healthy.... well, obviously not if you keep putting on weight. maybe you just eat far too much, even if some of it is fresh fruit and vegetables... that was mine, i used to eat a ridiculous quantity of food, and sure i do love vegies and fruit, but i also loved anything else i could ram into my mouth.
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