How do you forgive bad people?

Options
2

Replies

  • Determined_ella_89
    Determined_ella_89 Posts: 1,710 Member
    Options
    violetjin123 wrote: »
    Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?

    Depends on what you meant by being mean? You should forgive others for their ignorance or their stupidity... Chances are one day they will suffer when they look back at all they have done.... That will be enough punishment for them to live with. But by the time they realise it.. It will be to late for you to forgive them... Because you would have forgotten.


    In my situation... My children's father acts like his kids don't exist... I hated him for that at first... I no longer feel hate.... I feel sadness.. Mainly for my children.. But for him... Sad to know that he is missing out on wonderful children. But also sad for my children, because I don't have the answers they need .. To understand why he isn't around. I forgave him (to myself) for my sake and the children's. If you hold something against someone or carry the hate or annoyance with you, you will become bitter... Not always, but chances are at one point you will change because of it. Until you forgive, you carry a heavy weight on your shoulders... The weight which the other person who hurt you should carry... And they will one day.

    But there are this in this world that are unforgivable... However holding it there will not let you move on in life. X
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    Options
    Forgiving means to wish for the best for the person who offended. It means ceasing to give the offense power over you.

    It doesn't mean forgetting or pretending the offense never happened. It also doesn't mean you have to make yourself vulnerable to the person again. For example, you can forgive an abuser, but that doesn't mean you should allow that person to come into contact with you again.
  • ShellyBell999
    ShellyBell999 Posts: 1,482 Member
    Options
    iyzw8z.jpg
    This helps me :wink:
  • striderb
    striderb Posts: 5,843 Member
    Options
    Have them write you a really big check.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Options
    violetjin123 wrote: »
    Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?

    Tough.

    Forgiveness is not excusing the other people for the way they are. It is about free up the energy you waste dwelling on it. Almost everyone will do something 'bad' in their lives, but that doesn't make them a bad person all the time. Most the time, it is just a bad choice.

    Now, if someone continually slights you, that is no accident and you just need to not have them around you anymore.
  • lilbitoftrouble
    lilbitoftrouble Posts: 2,052 Member
    Options
    Chaelaz wrote: »
    violetjin123 wrote: »
    Ok. This is just a random question. How do you forgive some people who are mean to you? What can you do to let it go and not be bother by it?

    Tough.

    Forgiveness is not excusing the other people for the way they are. It is about free up the energy you waste dwelling on it. Almost everyone will do something 'bad' in their lives, but that doesn't make them a bad person all the time. Most the time, it is just a bad choice.

    Now, if someone continually slights you, that is no accident and you just need to not have them around you anymore.

    Wow this is a great answer.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Options
    If someone is toxic in my life, I cut them loose.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Options
    If I can't harm/affect/destroy them right away (aggressive), I wait until they need me, then remind them to go to hell (passive-aggressive).
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    Options
    You just do. You figure it's not worth giving them real estate in your head. And you move on.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
    Options
    I forgive after a time once the pain has stopped. But never forget. I forgive for my own mind and happiness. As holding on to something will eat you up inside. But that me. everyone different
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    Options
    you have to define "Bad" it depends on who and what kind of meanness is happening


  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
    Options
    I do not forgive. see ya later!,,
  • musclesandmusic866
    musclesandmusic866 Posts: 1,396 Member
    Options
    Not sure you have to forgive anybody but when you let things bother you....they win. So don't let them win:)
  • henshemi
    henshemi Posts: 1,977 Member
    Options
    I usually don't...but..

    r6fx90jeys39.jpeg
  • sw33tp3a15
    sw33tp3a15 Posts: 1,674 Member
    Options
    I forgive everyone who has ever hurt me. Like the saying goes, what goes around comes back around.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Options
    Forgiving someone doesn't mean you condone what they did.
  • margaretlouise123
    margaretlouise123 Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    I used to hold a grudge but since spending a year here in Afghanistan I see that no one is promised tomorrow and to spend each day as if it were you're last and karma has it's way anyhow :)
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    Options
    "Characteristics of toxic people: They do not have the ability to feel guilt, they are irresponsible, they thrive on drama, they brag about the last person they outsmarted, they've got a bunch of short-term relationships and, lastly, they are delusional."

    Over 60+ years, there are only 2 people I've cut dead in my mind ..... I don't talk to them or about them. And a few other people I'll avoid like the plague (like a toxic sister-in-law) ..... but I will play nice tomorrow at Thanksgiving B)

    n7rl7tvg8vzv.gif
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    I prefer the Jewish concepts of repentance and forgiveness, which doesn't come with an automatic "get out of Sheol free" card.

    http://www.crosscurrents.org/blumenthal.htm

    There cannot be forgiveness if there hasn't been repentance and an attempt at restitution.

    So my short answer I guess is, "avoid bad people". Cross the street.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    Yeah, survivors of cruelty know. There is such a thing as bad people.

Categories