How do you deal with norms?
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Replies
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The sociology of "other people".
Ideally I would like to eat whtever I decided for myself last sunday, or based on an eventual blood test. But because Life plays tricks I find myself eating whatever the neuromarketers put on the shelf. If my ex ate cookies four weeks ago, I bought one package yesterday out of nostalgia.
In a similiar way, I fear for my carrer and its inherent social politics.
If I wont drink alkohol, If I wont eat the cake or cndy, If I drink tea in stead of coffe, how do I avoid feeling frozen out? Will I be the first one on the fireing list?
Do you plan to not eat cookies, candy, cake, drink coffee or alcohol for the rest of your life or just while you are losing weight?
If you aren't giving up these things forever then work some into your goals now.
There are always choices.
Don't preach or be snotty about it if some offers you something. Just say no thanks or take a small portion. Bring food to share sometimes that you feel okay with eating.
Order a different drink and just hang out with people. I've never been a coffee or alcohol drinker and have never had anyone exclude me because of that.0 -
I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.0 -
OK, the nostalgia thing really threw me. Now I feel strange that EvgeniZyntx might've gotten that, but then again he is very smart!
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It must be Friday somewhere. <nods>0
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Rabbitjb: So I should have reminders in place that I shouldn't give in to subtle peer pressure? What shouldn't I do again? Sorry I am a bit confused.
Jenifer_417: While believing that theese descicions are mine I wish that was 100% correct. I guess I need to start training to dampen emotions of nostalgia. Neuromarketers claim they know something 12sec before you. You know, brown n bigelow putting eye and brain scanners on paid customers through malls. Then reverse- engineer the data.
Orphia: Then if a colleague asks "hey me and some guys are getting a drink after work, wanna come?" Do you then just say " Sorry it's not within my calorie limit" and then not expect them to just backstab you in their rationalization over how great it is to sit and have a beer? People talk about other people. Say you go with, do you just drink water? Even if you are 1 in 7? I am curious as I have felt uneasy in this.
CoffeeNcardio: I like your serious answer. Maybe it really is in my head and I just dont want to admit to myself that I am not as skilled as I had hoped in my education. I read schein's book about help. He says the beer after work allows colleagues to temporarily step out of rules, which is crucial for constructive criticism/feedback. Please look at my answer to orphia. And maybe give me your thoughts. Also: Nice workaround tip! Its the first I can use because it seems so well formulated. Its not perfect but in a pinch its good: future bosses wedding etc.
RodaRose: When you write "dont care" I take it as they dont care about other peoples health. I will add: unless they are trying to sell. Which everyone is. Be it keeping subordinates addicted with cofee and candy, be it the slim girl who keeps her firnds fat for a halo effect. .. I didn't quite get the convo sentence. Can you elaborate?
"Neuromarketers" can influence, they can't force behavior. If they could make behavior happen that wasn't there to begin with, there would be single men buying tampax.0 -
The sociology of "other people".
Ideally I would like to eat whtever I decided for myself last sunday, or based on an eventual blood test. But because Life plays tricks I find myself eating whatever the neuromarketers put on the shelf. If my ex ate cookies four weeks ago, I bought one package yesterday out of nostalgia.
In a similiar way, I fear for my carrer and its inherent social politics.
If I wont drink alkohol, If I wont eat the cake or cndy, If I drink tea in stead of coffe, how do I avoid feeling frozen out? Will I be the first one on the fireing list?
An employer that would fire someone who is a hard and productive worker because they do not drink coffee or eat the candy has their priorities seriously skewed. They would not deserve your services. As a supervisor I care much more about their ability to communicate (speaking and writing coherently and correctly) than what they choose to eat or not eat.
If people leave food out for their coworkers, you are always free to politely decline. I have never had a colleague take offense because I did not sample their cookies or eat of their Krispy Kremes. If they asked why, I let them know I was watching what I ate and no more was said of it. I recently had ice cream flown in from my old hometown to share with my colleagues, if anyone didn't care to try them I wasn't concerned with who or why. I would have been more concerned if I saw them throwing it away uneaten or were otherwise rude.
Rambling on in the office about marketers and how much power they have over your decisions may have a more significant effect on your career than your choices in food. If you feel you are overly concerned about the topic, it may be prudent to consult a professional to help you stay focused on your career.0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.
Is it a madeleine?0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.
Ooooooo.....I think I agree with this.....It makes more sense than the OP.....I.....think.....
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.
Wait a minute!!!! I just caught myself reaching for a cookie!!!! You must be one of those neuro-mark-a-teers I heard about on the interwebs! Sneaky. Very sneaky!0 -
He works for BigCookie.0
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EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.
Haiku fail - it's 5/7/5.
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If you are really worried about social drinking, order an orange juice or a diet coke in a small glass. Looks like a mixer with a lot less calories.0
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I don't read clinical level paranoia into his tone at all. It's possible that it's there, but it's an impossible call to make from text/ a few comments online.
You realise he's also referencing actual sociological theorists' work, right?
Societal norms are incredibly pervasive, and advertising is way more hooked in than many seem to realise. It's the things we don't question that perhaps we should. For example, when you think of farm animals, what do you picture? What is the reality? Marriage? Love? Beauty? A generation smoked, we drink, drugs are bad, low fat is good ...
So what mental illness am I displaying signs of?
Perhaps, Oliver Mol, you could use these for the drinking:
- You've been unwell and you're on antibiotics that can't be taken with alcohol
- You're having a 'dry' month.
- Drink lemonade or lemon lime and bitters but ask for it in a vodka glass.
People will get used to it and not ask any more.
I stole those off a 'how to hide you're preggers' thread on some maternity forum.
As for the rest, I don't know. I'd eat the cake if it's someone's birthday, and drink the tea all the time because I prefer it. I'd get the most exotic tea I could find and make a thing of it with a special mug and all, make for a conversation.
I like bpetrosky's answer, too.
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Life does not play tricks. If you eat a cookie it is because you decided to eat a cookie. If you eat the whole package. that's on you too. If you give in to peer pressure to drink or eat excessively... yep that was your choice.
It isn't society, it isn't marketing, it isn't per pressure. It is YOUR CHOICE. you have free will. Use it.
If your choices are different from other people, that's okay. What isn't okay is making other people feel uncomfortable about their choices because you think yours are better.
Joining co-workers for an after work drink is a good thing. No law says you have to drink alcohol or high calorie drinks. You could oder soda water with lemon or a diet soda. One shot of rum is only about 90 calories a 5 oz glass of white wine maybe 100. So really... one drink isn't going to end your diet and alcohol (in moderation) has known health benefits so it is even "healthy". If you really don't want to drink say, "I just don't enjoy the taste of alcohol".
Coffee also has known health benefits. But if you just don't like coffee have tea. If someone asks, which they likely won't, say, "I just don't like the taste of coffee".
You won't get fired for not liking those things. You might get fired for being a pompous *kitten* about it.0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.
Haiku fail - it's 5/7/5.
Only for norms.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »EvgeniZyntx wrote: »I'd take the cookie.
Really.
What would one cookie do?
I'm sure it is tasty.
Plus nostalgia.
The sweet pain of coming home.
Homecoming.
Is it a madeleine?
de Proust, evidently.0 -
im vegan im "frozen out" nearly every food related event i am forced to attend
but i dont care im use to having to defend my food /eating "lifestyle" to people , i also dont drink but thats because i hate it and genuinely have never liked how it makes me feel so i stopped completely
i guess i grew a big back bone about these kind of things a long time ago though , try not caring about other people and what they think it will help you a lot
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