I'm sure I'll get bashed for this, but..

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es0torok
es0torok Posts: 66 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Why is it people who are over weight think they have struggled with weight control more than I have?

It's obvious they haven't. I've "struggled" daily for my entire life. They, on the other hand, have obviously not. They chose to ignore weight control and not bother with it. Now they are trying to take a short cut through all the years I walked away from the fried foods and baked good and still think THEY have been struggling longer than me!

Sure, I know you've had spells when you THOUGHT about weight control, and times when you may have even given it a meager attempt. But in the end, YOU skip out and enjoy all the good food and *I* keep on struggling to say no to it.

Don't think less of me because I have never been 50 pounds over weight. I've been working at this harder and longer than you ever will.
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Edited to remove a redundancy not content.
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Replies

  • GraceEMyers
    GraceEMyers Posts: 12 Member
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    Whats the point in comparing yourself to other people..... This is your own weight loss/ management journey and i dont think it is fair to judge others. You have obviously done really well by making the right choices in your life. Not everyone makes the same choices and thats what makes us human.

    Try to be abit more accepting and focus on your own goals and not the goals of others. There are lots of reason why people are overweight, be it lazyness, over eating, mental and physical trauma or medically induced. You don't know everyones circumstances so it is best to just stay neutral and try to be kind to others.

    Hope this helps you.
  • Schraudt814
    Schraudt814 Posts: 496 Member
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    I just feel kind of bad for you that you consider it a competition...that's really good for you that you've worked on staying healthy- seriously Bravo! I'm sorry you feel like you're discriminated against for not being overweight- but I don't think that being so defensive is a good way to look at this. MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals. Good for you and keep up the good work, but maybe to get encouragement, you should think about giving some?
  • purplepollypops
    purplepollypops Posts: 323 Member
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    As previously stated it is not a competition so who really cares if you have or haven't struggled longer or less than me? I don't :laugh:
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    I just feel kind of bad for you that you consider it a competition...that's really good for you that you've worked on staying healthy- seriously Bravo! I'm sorry you feel like you're discriminated against for not being overweight- but I don't think that being so defensive is a good way to look at this. MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals. Good for you and keep up the good work, but maybe to get encouragement, you should think about giving some?

    I agree.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    You can't judge how much effort someone has put in to their struggle until you've walked in their shoes, the same as we can't judge how much effort you've put in. And I will tell you, that just because you were able to succeed in your struggle, and I failed in mine, doesn't make your struggle any more, or less, of value than mine.
  • dietfree2012
    dietfree2012 Posts: 868 Member
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    woooooahhhh!!!! I understand your feeling somewhat; we all have our own struggles. I think the problem is when one person feels that their struggle is harder than the others. Instead of debating that issue, we should use sites like this one to HELP each other with their struggle. Sometimes its hard for someone to understand your struggle because others are still trying to get to your size!! Its just one of those things. I need to lose 24 pounds and i hear from people EVERYDAY that im crazy and i dont need to lose. It usually comes from others that are a bigger size than me and i just talk to them and see why they think that and they usually inform me that they would love to be my size. My reply is to see if they want to workout with me; it doesnt make me angry it just lets me know that the person is having the same struggle as me: weight loss...talk about it and it usually gives you a different insight. Or at least look at it as a compliment :laugh: Its harder for others to practice self control so try not to be soooo hard on those that its harder for.
  • tjsusong
    tjsusong Posts: 195 Member
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    Whats the point in comparing yourself to other people..... This is your own weight loss/ management journey and i dont think it is fair to judge others. You have obviously done really well by making the right choices in your life. Not everyone makes the same choices and thats what makes us human.

    Try to be abit more accepting and focus on your own goals and not the goals of others. There are lots of reason why people are overweight, be it lazyness, over eating, mental and physical trauma or medically induced. You don't know everyones circumstances so it is best to just stay neutral and try to be kind to others.

    Hope this helps you.

    You said it SO much nicer than I could have!!! You never know the struggles some people have been through in their life, so you should never judge!!! For reasons that I dont need to explain, I HAVE struggled with weight control my whole life, whether I was at a good weight or I was overweight. Bottom line... don't judge others because you dont know their struggle, just as I dont know yours.
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
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    Yeah. OK. Kudos to you. Who cares who has struggled longest??? Is there some kind of prize for the winner?? :huh:
  • OLP76
    OLP76 Posts: 768 Member
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    You're 53 years old...

    I am very confused at the wordin' on this post???

    What is your point? You're aimin' to be 112? and you think that's overweight? ????

    Confused...! :grumble:
  • amberlee2011
    amberlee2011 Posts: 129
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    I think that you should focus on your personal goals and not let other people's thoughts/opinions bother you. I know it's easier said than done, but it is necessary in weight loss, and in other areas of life.

    I am overweight and yes it does bother me when someone who is 115 lbs comes to me and tells me how fat they are. I understand that everyone has body issues and that a lot of people will never be completely happy with how they look. For me, when someone who is close to being underweight tells me how big their thighs are, it makes me wonder if this struggle/journey is actually WORTH it. If I'm going to hate my body no matter what size I am, and that really scares me. I usually just try and smile and say I don't think you need to lose anymore weight or you look great, and then I spend the rest of they day in a funk thinking about the above.

    Weight loss is difficult no matter if you want to lose 200 lbs or 10 lbs. I think if we were all a little bit more supportive and understanding, these feelings wouldn't exist, but the world just doesn't work that way. Good luck on your weight loss journey!
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
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    Not sure I understand what you're sayin. How do you know how long I've been 'struggling'? Or anybody, for that matter?
    I learned a long time ago it is not a good idea to put everybody in one big group. Try to look at the individual.

    And who the heck cares how long a person's been 'struggling' anyway?!? As long as they're going in the right direction give them credit!

    Good luck to you.
  • mocklin
    mocklin Posts: 33 Member
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    Did someone on MFP say that you haven't struggled as much as them? It's interesting that your approached to feeling judged is to lump a group of people (who have never done anything to you) together and attack them for their meager attempts at weight loss. Everyone is fighting a battle, you don't know what's going on in their life. We are here to support each other. If someone said something that upset you, let us know, we'll support you. Try to refrain for the 'group attack' approach as it's not helpful. Good luck on your journey.
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
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    overweight people should not give you a hard time.

    however, two wrongs don't make a right. You have no idea what other peoples struggles have been or why they are over weight. (nor do that know yours) I don't judge the 135 pound woman for wanting to weigh 125. And you shouldn't judge me b/c once upon a time I let my weight become 255. I don't blame anyone but myself and that's why i'm hear doing somthign about it.

    Keep up the good work and stick to the friend on MFP they support nad inspire you.
  • tubbstattsyrup
    tubbstattsyrup Posts: 89 Member
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    This is a very good point and I understand what you mean.
  • ang16
    ang16 Posts: 91
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    Your post seemed full of anger... anger at yourself.... and rather than internalizing you are taking it out on others who are trying to lose weight.... Maybe dealing with those issues instead of directing it at those who are going through their own personal journeys, would be slightly more constructive.

    People are overweight/underweight for a variety of different reasons and the choices that are made are based in personal experience, feelings and emotions. For someone to come in here and be dismissive, isn't very fair....
  • Deva1026
    Deva1026 Posts: 29 Member
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    Opinions are like a@#holes.... everybody has one. So who cares what people say. This is not a competition here.
    The underlying message in your post sounds like it goes much more deeper then just the weight loss prolbem.
    Don't bash- give a little bit of support to get one back. That's what we do here on MFP. Best of luck!
  • es0torok
    es0torok Posts: 66 Member
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    This is a very good point and I understand what you mean.

    I was wondering if anyone would. :wink:
  • texastae1010
    texastae1010 Posts: 165
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    Wow everyone is being so nice and kind really…… YOU ARE WORKING HARDER AND LONGER THAN I EVER WILL REALLYY??????



    Ok yeah I am sure that us “heavier” people wonder why you are worried about those last few pounds and yes kudos to you for being so healthy as to never let yourself get as heavy as one of us by not eating fried foods, baked goods, and whatever other goodies we are apparently just devouring and enjoying eating so very much to let us get so heavy. You are putting us into a stereotype of eating buckets of fried chicken and dozens of cookies all the time.

    I am so happy that you feel so self-righteous to think that you are stronger and better than anyone that is heavier over 50lbs. You have no idea what someone that is heavy goes through walking and getting taunted, to be discriminated against, to feel that you are lazy, or the looks you get because you are eating something anything in public and you get those looks of why are eating that shouldn’t you be on a diet. So yes you have struggled so hard by avoiding all of those foods. Who are you to compare your struggles with people that you have no idea about? That is like comparing yourself to the struggles of a different economic demographic and saying that you understand their struggle and you have been fighting harder than they have even though you have a million dollars in the bank.

    I am not saying that you shouldn’t be proud for not getting heavy and that you were able to bypass the bad food. I do not understand at all how you think that you have struggled longer or harder than anyone else here. How dare you judge anyone here or to think of yourself so highly I do not compare how I live and how I struggle with anyone else. How I got fat and the reasons behind it does not make me weaker than you and that is what you are implying that I have not struggled.
    So for the people that you feel do not validate your struggles you just empowered them and made them correct by making yourself out to be the victim.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    OP basically what you just posted about others is what you are so upset about being done to you. People judging you...thinking they know your struggles and how long you've been struggling. Well not all obese people just one day put on weight. A lot of them have been dealing with obesity since childhood as well. Everything isn't all physical. Majority of overweight issues is mentally stimulated.

    There is no need to compare apples with apples on this site and if someone is trying to do that with you then maybe you should not have them as a friend. I don't think my journey out weighs anyone elses. I applauded someone who has only 10 lbs to lose for a vacation just as I would applaud someone having to lose 100 + pounds. No one is better or worse. I celebrate the effort being put in to make a healthy transformation physically and emotionally.

    I wish you the best in your efforts as well.
  • DanceYogaRun
    DanceYogaRun Posts: 373 Member
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    Great response Desirai.

    PS. You are looking HAWT! :love:
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