Weightloss changing your mind about getting pregnant?

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  • blkandwhite77
    blkandwhite77 Posts: 281 Member
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    kkaiser431 wrote: »
    I've been begging my husband for a 3rd baby for almost a year now. (My youngest is 1 haha) He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable. I had PSD and could hardly move. Right now I'm working to that goal and then some, but my question is..

    for those that were wanting a baby and lost the weight... did you change your mind on another one? Like--did you think "It took me so long to get where I am, I don't want to have to start all over again"?

    Anybody that would like to add me, too.. I'm going to need all the motivation I can get..baby or no baby haha.

    If you want a baby then have a baby. If you decide you don't then don't. You can continue taking care of your body while pregnant (making it much easier to lose pregnancy weight after) but in the end yes we sacrifice some of our body dreams when we have a baby. I don't ever hope to have my pre babies body. I've given birth to 6 children. I just want to be healthy. You can achieve healthy after kids.

  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
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    kailyw05 wrote: »
    I suppose I am not in the same position as you, because we are trying for our first. I assumed back in March when we decided to TTC that it wouldn't take very long, but I also kept on losing in case it did. 9 months later and it still hasn't happened for us. Yes, I feel better after losing 32 lbs, but I'm also excited because that's the amount a lot of people gain during a healthy pregnancy. I am the healthiest I've ever been and I can't wait to have the healthiest pregnancy possible. Lots of people have babies and get their pre-pregnancy bodies back. No, I know I won't have the SAME body, but it will be a body I can appreciate for the joy it brought me and my husband.

    No questions, I want a baby. Be thankful that you have the choice to make. Be thankful you have 2 beautiful children already. Some people are unable to have children regardless of what shape their body is in. I just hope that my weightloss didn't actually hinder my chances of getting pregnant.

    Just wanted to say I feel for you. It took me and hubby 3 years to conceive. At first we thought it was my former cervical/uterine cancer (had it when I was 18, major self-esteem murderer during that time, thinking it was me), but then it turned out he had a super super super like HULK SMASH level screwed-up thyroid and was shooting blanks because of it. Once they put him on drugs to kill his thyroid, we were pregnant within a month. So don't give up, it happens, and if it doesn't, it may be a significantly easy fix, and even if it ain't easy, you'll get there one way or another.
  • RiverMelSong
    RiverMelSong Posts: 456 Member
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    I'm so, so relieved that I'm not the only one who's having these thoughts.
    Having kids always seemed so far off. However, I'll be 28 when I reach goal, and my last relationship has made me realise that I do want a family, soon(ish). I do feel guilty for feeling this way so knowing I'm not the only one makes me happy :)
  • lianachu13
    lianachu13 Posts: 15 Member
    edited December 2015
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    It's kind of the opposite for me. I'm less worried than I've ever been about pregnancy "ruining" my body because, after losing 75bs, I now have plenty of stretchmarks, loose skin and sad breasts. I'm also not particularly worried about weight gain because I know have better eating habits and a more active lifestyle than I ever did.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    edited December 2015
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    I'm SO glad to see this topic!

    When I was overweight, I longed for a baby. I've been in my relationship for almost 8 years and despite being only 24 years old, I have this built in maternal instinct that never, ever seems to leave me. I wanted a baby so, so much. My boyfriend and I weren't 'trying' because we felt we still had a bit of time to still be 'selfish 20 somethings' but that didn't stop the longing! Now I've lost almost 40 pounds and I look so much better and feel amazing. Admittedly, I DO still want a baby and would be DELIGHTED if I fell pregnant - but I also feel a big part of me will be slightly gutted at the inevitable weight gain and it's definitely that reason alone that is making me think less of pregnancy right now. Shallow? Perhaps. Which is why it totally isn't the right time for me to have a baby despite my desire for one. I'd like to think my desire to become pregnant will outweigh my need to be 'thin' - so when that time comes, I know it's right :)
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
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    Just to chime in. I am not wanting more babies. Well, at one point I did but I realized that I wanted another baby but not another child in the end. So probably best to just snuggle other babies. Lol. Anyway, I wanted to add something for those feeling like spousal or personal weight loss demands are like dangling carrots. The day I gave birth to my third I weighed 235lbs. Heavy, but not morbidly obese. So about 20lbs of that is baby, placenta, extra fluid. Well for the last 4 months of my pregnancy I was in so much pain! SPD like the op, back spasms that lasted until he was 6 months old and prevented me from carrying him(he rode in a stroller in the house), knee pain, and plantar fasciitis. So not fun! The knee pain began at about 190lbs, the plantar fasciitis at about the same time. The SPD made sitting on the toilet feel like my hips were glass, rolling over in bed was a huge production and so painful, my gait was so altered that if I walked for more than 5 min I ended up with feet covered in blisters. My previous two pregnancies were not enjoyable but I suffered way less pain being lighter. I would advise everyone to try their best to be in a healthy BMI before pregnancy! So much less stress on your body, so much easier to get some exercise and maintain health throughout! I was lucky to have natural, relatively easy labours, something that does not always happen with the added complications of a heavy birth mother. I will never regret my choices. They have shaped who I am, but in hindsight I could have saved many, many months of misery.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    I was extremely heavy and starting losing weight about the time we decided to try for my one and only pregnancy. My ob/gyn recommended that I lose weight and start exercising before I got pregnant. I was getting healthier so I could have a healthy pregnancy so no the weightloss never changed my mind about wanting to get pregnant or even make me want to wait until I got to goal to do it either.
    I lost about 30 pounds before I got pregnant. I was still very heavy when I got pregnant, but because I had started eating healthier and exercising, I had a very easy pregnancy and even exercised until I was about 8 months pregnant. I felt great through the whole prenancy and after having my daughter was back to my pre-pregnancy weight (30 pounds less than my heaviest weight at that point in time) with very little effort.

  • hartmamp
    hartmamp Posts: 80 Member
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    I just keep reminding myself that establishing a stronger base now - logging habits and muscles - will only mean I'll be better off when it comes to pregnancy and post-pregnancy.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Ninkyou wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    elphie754 wrote: »
    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    Your husband is kind of a.

    Why? Because he has concerns about her weight and dealing with a pregnancy, and is worried about her health?


    Would you think the same way if the OP had high blood pressure and he was concerned about her being pregnant and having complications?

    No, because he's dangling her want of a child in front of her like a carrot. "You can have this only if you do what I say to do." I don't get motivated to change anything because someone else told me to. If you all do, great.

    Get healthy for you, OP. Not because your man told you to in order for him to participate in making a baby.

    Except she never said that is what he said. She said:
    He finally agreed to it if I lose at least 40 lbs because my last pregnancy was miserable.

    Basically he seems to be more concerned about health, which is a completely legitimate concern.

    that was my take away. overweight and pregnant often result in other complicating issues. i see doctors recommend weight loss before pregnancy to a lot of women as well...

    This was my take as well.

    Totally agree. I got that as well.

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    dalielahdawn wrote: »
    40 lbs. not "morbidly obese to just over weight" or a number that would cause big health concerns while pregnant. 40 lbs That's a carrot dangle, not health concerns.

    interesting...i lost 40 Lbs and it was the difference between a whole host of health issues and crappy blood work vs. a clean bill of health....

    maybe you should just stop talking.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    dalielahdawn wrote: »
    40 lbs. not "morbidly obese to just over weight" or a number that would cause big health concerns while pregnant. 40 lbs That's a carrot dangle, not health concerns.

    interesting...i lost 40 Lbs and it was the difference between a whole host of health issues and crappy blood work vs. a clean bill of health....

    maybe you should just stop talking.

    I got gestational diabetes at 40 lbs overweight while pregnant. I agree cwolfman....please just stop talking.
  • rsergeant79
    rsergeant79 Posts: 45 Member
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    I was big when I was pregnant with my first baby - I didn't really gain a lot (8 Ibs) as I was big anyway I knew I had to be really careful. 2 years on I lost 8.5 stone - I then fell pregnant (planned) 6 months after reaching my target weight. I did really struggle mentally putting on weight when I was pregnant but wouldn't have let it get in the way of my decision to have another :) second baby is now 9 months and after gaining 3 stone (!) I am 10 pounds away from target!
  • wearmi1
    wearmi1 Posts: 291 Member
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    I often think about weight gain with pregnancy, we're TTC next year and I'm in the military and they expect the weight to be right back off within 6 most of having the baby. It's very stressful because my career depends on my weight.
  • jessicarobinson00
    jessicarobinson00 Posts: 414 Member
    edited December 2015
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    kkaiser431 wrote: »
    Wow, first of all thank you for those who are supportive! Secondly.. my husband is not a dick and I am not losing weight on his terms. He is concerned for my health because he watched me cry, had to pick me up off couches, chairs, our bed and the floor and barely be able to move the last 4 months of my last pregnancy...because of Pubis Symphysis Disfunction(which is cause, in part, by being overweight). I am not just 40lbs overweight..that's the point where he would feel comfortable with starting to try again. I'm nearly 100lbs overweight. Morbidly obese, according to charts.

    I have suffered for 12 years with this...stemming from starting my family at 16. Mine actually worsened after having my 3rd..mainly because my left hip would give out and yes partly due to my weight issues. The heavier you are, the more stress you put on your frame. Random stranger recommendation: see a physical therapist who can set you up with some pelvic/core strengthening exercises so that your muscles can help support this troublesome area...and also prepare you for when you are ready to expand your family again!
  • kellellie
    kellellie Posts: 109 Member
    edited December 2015
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    lianachu13 wrote: »
    It's kind of the opposite for me. I'm less worried than I've ever been about pregnancy "ruining" my body because, after losing 75bs, I now have plenty of stretchmarks, loose skin and sad breasts. I'm also not particularly worried about weight gain because I know have better eating habits and a more active lifestyle than I ever did.

    This. I began losing weight (this time) partially as a side effect of controlling my autoimmune disease with my diet, an experiment that worked surprisingly well! And also because I knew we wanted to start trying to have kids at the end of this year, and while my doctor at the time said my weight wasn't a huge issue in having kids (I was around 220 when that conversation happened in nov of last year), I made the goal of being in a healthy weight range before we started trying. It'd be NICE to get a little further into it before I actually get pregnant, which will probably happen as I doubt I'll get knocked up immediately, just to have some wiggle room. But I already have loose skin, so who cares about that. I Eat better, I know better, i'm healthier and happier physically and emotionally, I'm so much better prepared to carry some demon spawn than I was a year ago. Bring it on!
  • tpiazza428
    tpiazza428 Posts: 1 Member
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    I kinda understand all of this. I had our daughter 8 years ago. I had a very emotionally trying pregnancy (I was young (18), lost my mother, and a few other not so fun things happened) and had gained 55lbs. I struggled with this weight - yo-yoing for the past 6 years until I finally decided I had enough. I weigh less now than I did before we conceived in 2006, and it took me 1.5 years to get to where I am.

    I had a lot of people tell me to get pregnant (then) and worry about losing weight after because they didn't see the point in losing weight only to gain it back with getting pregnant. But I honestly think weight and safe, healthy pregnancies are very closely linked. So, I ignored those people and lost the weight anyway.

    My original motivation to lose the weight was be in a healthy weight range for our second baby. I wanted to have a healthier pregnancy (not that the first one was awful) and feel "cute" being pregnant and to only gain what was recommended (25-35lbs). Now that I am where I am, I do have second thoughts about having another. After the first though, I know what NOT to do (which was use my pregnancy as an excuse to eat anything and everything I wanted) so I'm not as concerned with gaining as much this time around. I have the healthy lifestyle down pat and I'm not concerned with maintaining it and continuing it during or after pregnancy. I also plan to continue lifting and working out during my pregnancy unless I am told otherwise by my doctor.

    On the other hand, I had my IUD taken out July 2014. We have been having unprotected sex since then and ACTIVELY TTC (tracking ovulation, etc.) since April and are having a difficult time for some reason despite both my husband and I being the healthiest we've been. Is it related to losing weight? I'm not sure. I personally think the IUD messed up my uterine lining, but we'll know more after the next appointment with the OBGYN.

    Good luck. And no matter what you decide, a healthier you is always worth the effort - before, during, after having another child, or if you decide to not have another one. :smile:
  • brb2008
    brb2008 Posts: 406 Member
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    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    Your husband is kind of a dick.

    The way this is worded, I agree! If it was more so "for MY health my husband and I decided that I should lose X pounds to try for another baby" hopefully that's how it actually happened!

    For me, I do not wish to have children. Weight loss is a part of it, but more so the after. Once Im through with this hard work and I get to maintenance I'm going to be investing in fixing myself up as best I can afford lol. I have always wanted breast implants and I know my skin will be low enough (at least on my tummy) that I will likely have rash issues so I might be able to get some skin removal covered. Arms and legs too if I can ever afford it.

    So becoming pregnant is not a part of my plan. That plus my partner and I both love the mental image of our lives together over time and Im so happy without the children. Sure they add to joy, but I think I'll already be overflowing. Especially if I get the fantastic rack I want!
  • bfanny
    bfanny Posts: 440 Member
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    I don't know but having a kid is a SERIOUS matter regardless of losing weight or not, and if u have to beg for it
  • bfanny
    bfanny Posts: 440 Member
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    Is it a good idea?
  • victoria_1024
    victoria_1024 Posts: 915 Member
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    Last year I started losing weight and I was 35 pounds down when I found out I was pregnant. It was baby #4 for me, and we had toyed around with the idea of another baby but weren't quite there yet. To be honest, I was upset at first because I had been doing sooo well with losing weight (and I'd been carrying that weight around for many many years) and I was worried I would never get back into it again. It didn't take long and I was excited about the pregnancy. Of course I gained back all that 35 pounds and then a bit more. But since baby was born in January, I've taken off 77 lbs! Even though it felt like starting over in some ways, it all worked out for the best.

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