Does your weight affect your relationships?

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  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    I started at 200.... got down to 138 (am back up to 152.5 now :grumble: )

    But really - I am more self conscious about my body now that it's smaller than when I was bigger. I didn't think about it before, I just went with what felt good (just like food!) now I think about it and it bothers me (just like food)

    Perhaps ignorance WAS bliss for me!! :laugh:

    In my situation - I have lots of body "issues" to work on, I think I could be a perfect 10 and not be happy with the way Iook. (yes, I'm workin' on 'em!)

    :wink:

    My boyfriend has been with me at all weights, and has never shown a preference either way... either he honestly doesn't care, or he's a smart man! :tongue:
  • tmbish82
    tmbish82 Posts: 43
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    i am so glad to see this message board!!! i thought it was just me too!! :embarassed: my fiancee knows that i have issue with my weight and that i feel fat, but he actually likes the extra pounds and says i could even use more in some places!!! :noway: we are an inter-racial couple and i am the first serious relationship he has had with a white girl so i guess he is used to having a little more booty!! :laugh: he tells me all the time that he loves the way i look and he doesn't want me to lose weight :noway: and he believes that girls want to lose weight and look good for themselves and other girls... and most guys don't care if you have a little extra weight! :huh: i don't know if i believe that entirely... i want to look nice and skinny for him, but he wants me plump!! :sad:
  • saryann79
    saryann79 Posts: 81 Member
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    As an answer to your official "question" does weight affect your relationships? I have to say it does. But mostly for the reasons that you mentioned - that I am not comfortable in my own skin. I see the actresses and what not that "turn his head," and I definitely don't look like them. So I feel like he is "faking it." My husband says he loves me and is attracted to me no matter what, but I don't really see how that could be true. I think this is a personal issue within us, and likely one that weight loss alone won't cure! (By the way, if you figure out the answer before me, let me know, k?!)
  • ChubbyBunny
    ChubbyBunny Posts: 3,523 Member
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    The thing we need to keep in mind.... we are usually our worst critics.
    I think I am fat, ugly, etc a lot of the time.
    The thing to remember is not EVERYONE sees us through our eyes.
    My fiance thinks I am beautiful... even though I am paranoid about stretch marks, sagging, etc.

    I do believe that a big reason why some people want to be "skinny" is due to media, peer pressure, expectations of others. timbish: I can totally believe your fiance when he says that women do it for themselves and other women. WHICH IS TRUE! Most of us are here because WE want to look/feel better/more attractive for ourselves (which isn't bad).

    I used to obsess about this issue.... will he like me even though I am fluffy....
    What it's boiled down to though is that I have to accept myself in WHATEVER skin I am in.
    I have struggled in a skinny body, in a pregnant body, in the one I have now.... it's MY INTERNAL struggle. Sure, I know guys who think Angelina Jolie is hot.... back in reality world.... they know they aren't EVER gonna get her.

    Make sense? You gotta love what you got.... or you'll end up hating yourself longer then you ought.
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
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    I certainly keep the lights off!!!
    But we're the opposite. I'm always after it and he's not interested. Of course I think it's because of my weight. Who wouldn't? But he swears he just doesn't have much of a drive.
    So, we'll see when I'm hot again...if he's all over me then, I'll know the truth.

    I'm with you. I always want it and he doesn't. He finally broke down and told me it's because of HIS weight. He feels uncomfortable and feel like he is about to have a heart attack. So we are losing weight together and he has promised me that we will be intimate again!
  • lenece
    lenece Posts: 389 Member
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    Ohh ladies I know what you all mean..I hate havin the lights on for funtime...I have a belly too and ugly butt legs..I want the light off he wants it on..I feel so sick when he touches my fat body but my BF says he loves me and trust me he always wants me for funtime..lol all I have to do is kiss him n its on but I'm not the sameway..One way we sloved our problem was we got a black light...lol That way hes happy n has a light n I still feel like I'm in the dark..But if I had it my way all the lights would be off....Hope this wasnt to much info...
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    I certainly keep the lights off!!!
    But we're the opposite. I'm always after it and he's not interested. Of course I think it's because of my weight. Who wouldn't? But he swears he just doesn't have much of a drive.
    So, we'll see when I'm hot again...if he's all over me then, I'll know the truth.

    I'm with you. I always want it and he doesn't. He finally broke down and told me it's because of HIS weight. He feels uncomfortable and feel like he is about to have a heart attack. So we are losing weight together and he has promised me that we will be intimate again!
    very cool! great communication that he finally shared that with you...maybe guys aren't so different than us girls?:bigsmile:
  • nellienell12
    nellienell12 Posts: 325 Member
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    Oh I totally know what you mean... When I met DF in 2005 I was about 160 and now (6 weeks after baby) at 215 lbs. I absolutely feel like I am carrying a whole new me but I understand the wanting to pull away because you feel gross and ugly... Now, I had a C-Section and I am so self concious of that as well. DF says he loves me but I cant help but feel disgusting... I am starting slowly to get back into shape but its really not easy when he gets to eat whatever he wants and always wants to eat out :ohwell:

    But just remember to keep your head up and remember you are beautiful, even if it is hard

    Same here. I had one natual and the second was 9' 14" and was c-section. So I had a lot of excess weight and skin since I was already a little heavy. But I think hubby loves me more now than before, because of what Skyguy said.
    But, my DH is the same as your DF, they don't need to lose and are of average size and eat junk all the time. They suck!!:laugh: :laugh:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
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    The thing we need to keep in mind.... we are usually our worst critics.
    I think I am fat, ugly, etc a lot of the time.
    The thing to remember is not EVERYONE sees us through our eyes.
    My fiance thinks I am beautiful... even though I am paranoid about stretch marks, sagging, etc.

    I do believe that a big reason why some people want to be "skinny" is due to media, peer pressure, expectations of others. timbish: I can totally believe your fiance when he says that women do it for themselves and other women. WHICH IS TRUE! Most of us are here because WE want to look/feel better/more attractive for ourselves (which isn't bad).

    I used to obsess about this issue.... will he like me even though I am fluffy....
    What it's boiled down to though is that I have to accept myself in WHATEVER skin I am in.
    I have struggled in a skinny body, in a pregnant body, in the one I have now.... it's MY INTERNAL struggle. Sure, I know guys who think Angelina Jolie is hot.... back in reality world.... they know they aren't EVER gonna get her.

    Make sense? You gotta love what you got.... or you'll end up hating yourself longer then you ought.
    What excellent wisdom you've shared Bunny:flowerforyou: :heart:

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