Love to pick someone thoughts who had bipolar

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michaelhornby365
michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
in Motivation and Support
Would love to learn more about bipolar 1st hand. have a met someone I like who had bipolar and finding it had to understand, so if anyone would be happy.(more the female side) too pm me so I could ask a few question that would be great.. Thank you
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  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Once bi-polar always bi-polar. It does not go away. It can managed with medications which unfortunately usually have side effects.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    Yeah it's more the being push away part I'm finding very hard to cope with. As not really understanding why I'm push away and the rest are kept close by...
  • pootle1972
    pootle1972 Posts: 579 Member
    edited December 2015
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    As a normal depressive I can say there's no logical reason at the time why suddenly you don't want to be with certain people....you just don't. Don't take it personally. And as above you don't ever stop being bi polar.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    pootle1972 wrote: »
    As a normal depressive I can say there's no logical reason at the time why suddenly you don't want to be with certain people....you just don't. Don't take it personally. And as above you don't ever stop being bi polar.

    Yeah I kind of fly off the handle when I push away and I know I should not as took it as an attack.. Which I know is the wrong way to react..
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I know about bipolar disorder second-hand. When in a manic phase, bipolars do tend to get annoyed with the people around them because frankly, they're not keeping up (manic speed). When depressed, bipolars may not have much interest in interacting at all.

    You're watching a roller-coaster in action. Your choice if you want to join in or stay grounded.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    I know about bipolar disorder second-hand. When in a manic phase, bipolars do tend to get annoyed with the people around them because frankly, they're not keeping up (manic speed). When depressed, bipolars may not have much interest in interacting at all.

    You're watching a roller-coaster in action. Your choice if you want to join in or stay grounded.

    So I got let them get on with it, if I want to keep myself together and be there when they fall. long they don't put themself in danger..
  • Zoltansbeard
    Zoltansbeard Posts: 27 Member
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    Like others said.. you dont "had" bi polar.. its not healable.. its controllable.. at best.

    A good friend of mine has it and it wrecks her life on a daily basis.. Its also not easy beeing a friend because the highs and lows are so brutal.. unlike anything i ever knew before.

    But dont let that discourage you. Bipolars are wonderfull people too(or as least as often as "normal" people" gosh.. whos normal^^) and if you stick with them as a loyal friend.. they will love you to death for it because they lose alot of friends all the time.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    Zoltansbeard wrote: »
    Like others said.. you dont "had" bi polar.. its not healable.. its controllable.. at best.

    A good friend of mine has it and it wrecks her life on a daily basis.. Its also not easy beeing a friend because the highs and lows are so brutal.. unlike anything i ever knew before.

    But dont let that discourage you. Bipolars are wonderfull people too(or as least as often as "normal" people" gosh.. whos normal^^) and if you stick with them as a loyal friend.. they will love you to death for it because they lose alot of friends all the time.
    I
    Thank you I don't plan to leave . I just hate the way I respond to her so far when she push me.. And want to understand better and act a way that does not upset me or her.
  • Zoltansbeard
    Zoltansbeard Posts: 27 Member
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    michaelhornby365 wrote: »
    Zoltansbeard wrote: »
    Like others said.. you dont "had" bi polar.. its not healable.. its controllable.. at best.

    A good friend of mine has it and it wrecks her life on a daily basis.. Its also not easy beeing a friend because the highs and lows are so brutal.. unlike anything i ever knew before.

    But dont let that discourage you. Bipolars are wonderfull people too(or as least as often as "normal" people" gosh.. whos normal^^) and if you stick with them as a loyal friend.. they will love you to death for it because they lose alot of friends all the time.
    I
    Thank you I don't plan to leave . I just hate the way I respond to her so far when she push me.. And want to understand better and act a way that does not upset me or her.

    You know what.. it really speaks for you.

    You also have to understand bipolar people often times cant exactly say what they feel and sometimes even know in the moment.

    When she pushes you away.. inside she fears nothing more then losing you and is kinda testing if you would leave. Its hard but thats at least my experience.

    My friend told me herself that when she pushes me away and even says she hates me inside she feels "please hold me tight because i am so scared of losing you.. i love you more then you know"

    If you want to add me as friend and if you want i can give you more insights.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I suggest reading up on boundaries. You want to keep your balance even when she can't.

    I'll give a practical example. When my mother was on a "high" she used to call me at 3:00 in the morning. It was highly disruptive. I had a good think about it and decided if she was calling me at inappropriate times, it was a call for help. So I got her admitted to get her medications adjusted. After that she never called me at 3:00 in the morning any more, and she never went off her medication again.

    Also on her "high" she did other highly inappropriate things like run in to traffic to slow down cars. It's called "danger to herself or others" and is the legal point where loved-ones can intervene.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    You know what.. it really speaks for you.

    You also have to understand bipolar people often times cant exactly say what they feel and sometimes even know in the moment.

    When she pushes you away.. inside she fears nothing more then losing you and is kinda testing if you would leave. Its hard but thats at least my experience.

    My friend told me herself that when she pushes me away and even says she hates me inside she feels "please hold me tight because i am so scared of losing you.. i love you more then you know"

    If you want to add me as friend and if you want i can give you more insights.[/quote]

    Thank you have added you. Some time the look I get off her when she pushes me away. And the rage I see in her when I ask is it me..
    I watch as she shakes in rage and then walks away..
    I will try just to be there and smile and know it's an illness.
  • Zoltansbeard
    Zoltansbeard Posts: 27 Member
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    michaelhornby365 wrote: »
    Thank you have added you. Some time the look I get off her when she pushes me away. And the rage I see in her when I ask is it me..
    I watch as she shakes in rage and then walks away..
    I will try just to be there and smile and know it's an illness.

    np, i wrote you a mail already

    Well the thing is.. propably it is you but in a totally different way you are propably used to. Such little and almost "silly" things can trigger a rage attack.. and other times it is not you but something completly different..many times something completly random.

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Mom was furious when people would not go along with her latest grand idea. She hung on to that resentment for along time, even after her episode was over. It was quite unfair to the loved-ones around her.

    It's a sign that the medications aren't sorted.
  • MsDaniG
    MsDaniG Posts: 17 Member
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    My mother has a severe case of bipolar and it just seems to get worse each year. I have experienced alot of the highs and lows as most of you have expressed. She has gotten to the point of not wanting to leave her house and every time we talk she tries to start arguments or fights. When Dealing with bipolar disorder it is important to have patience and to be able to not take things personal when it is said. One moment my mom will cuss me out like a dog for no reason and 5 minutes later call me back to say she loves me and is sorry.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
    But thanks all for helping me understand a little more
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
    edited December 2015
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    michaelhornby365 wrote: »
    Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
    But thanks all for helping me understand a little more

    If this is a new relationship, is she on treatment? Does she acknowledge she is ill and keep up with her appointments and meds, or do you have reasons to believe she is in denial? If it is the latter, distance yourself. You cannot help a mentally ill patient who is in a pattern of denial and refusing treatment or who believes she has been cured. I know it sounds cruel, but you really are in for a lot of misery otherwise, and not going to help her either, unless you are prepared for a life of relapses and involuntary commitments. Taking care of a non compliant mentally ill patient is not a situation I would wish to my worst enemy to be honest.

    If she is being treated, then discuss with her the possibility of accompanying her to her next appointment so you can get information material about the illness and a recommendation for a support group for relatives. You need to be prepared that this will be for life, that there is no cure, that she will need lots of support, that there will be good and bad periods, and that you too will need support in order to support her.

    Whatever you do, do not stay out of pity, or to save her. Neither of you deserves such a relationship.

    To add, be prepared to not fall into a pattern of letting the illness dictate how your relationship progresses. She might be overenthusiastic and about to become dependent on you, when you would normally feel ready for this. Do not for a second let the fact she is ill make you take the relationship to a level you would otherwise not feel ready for. I have seen mentally ill patients finding it hard to cope with taking things slowly, or with acknowledging that a relationship might start as more casual, and feeling betrayed from triggers someone else would nto even register. Do not let the illness force you to a level of commitment that feels overwhelming too soon.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    aggelikik wrote: »
    michaelhornby365 wrote: »
    Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
    But thanks all for helping me understand a little more

    If this is a new relationship, is she on treatment? Does she acknowledge she is ill and keep up with her appointments and meds, or do you have reasons to believe she is in denial? If it is the latter, distance yourself. You cannot help a mentally ill patient who is in a pattern of denial and refusing treatment or who believes she has been cured. I know it sounds cruel, but you really are in for a lot of misery otherwise, and not going to help her either, unless you are prepared for a life of relapses and involuntary commitments. Taking care of a non compliant mentally ill patient is not a situation I would wish to my worst enemy to be honest.

    If she is being treated, then discuss with her the possibility of accompanying her to her next appointment so you can get information material about the illness and a recommendation for a support group for relatives. You need to be prepared that this will be for life, that there is no cure, that she will need lots of support, that there will be good and bad periods, and that you too will need support in order to support her.

    Whatever you do, do not stay out of pity, or to save her. Neither of you deserves such a relationship.

    To add, be prepared to not fall into a pattern of letting the illness dictate how your relationship progresses. She might be overenthusiastic and about to become dependent on you, when you would normally feel ready for this. Do not for a second let the fact she is ill make you take the relationship to a level you would otherwise not feel ready for. I have seen mentally ill patients finding it hard to cope with taking things slowly, or with acknowledging that a relationship might start as more casual, and feeling betrayed from triggers someone else would nto even register. Do not let the illness force you to a level of commitment that feels overwhelming too soon.

    Yes on meds. Around 5 aday she has told me.
    Have known her for 2 years and only just now we become close..
    She had stop her meds now and then and I have help her to retake.
    Have said I go with her to the doc and help her and so far she had refused..

    Yes the pace has been a problem..
    I have had to put the breaks on so many time and pull back to breath..
    And dare I speak to any women at work... Ohhhh the green eye....
    I don't fill pity for her.
    She had inspired me so much..
    Have got down to 18% body fat and dropping. Stop somking, and start running. And join the gym.. All Bec I see how hard she works to just face the world and I was just sat on my bum eatting rubbish.
    So yes I have done some a lot of things to keep my mind from turning into mush
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,390 Member
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    It's a tricky thing, but human emotions are tricky even without any type of disorders as well. In a nutshell, for a bipolar struggling to control it, take your own emotions and exaggerate them, both the up and down swings. But I will also state that having known several, there are likely many people bipolar, or diagnosed with other things, that most people would have no clue, because they have found the ways to manage it.

    I know a psychologist who openly stated his reasoning for going into a mental health field was after attending a conference and discovering that many of the prominent figures within the field were in recovery from their own mental health issues. And it helped him break the stereotype that all people with such diagnosis would be recognized by normal observation and human interaction.

    The road might be harder to travel if you choose to have a relationship of any kind with people still struggling to control any issue. But I wouldn't walk away from an alcoholic, addict, or bipolar person because I was too weak to be a good human. I'd opt to help within the limits I set, and learn from someone traveling a harder road. But that's all personal choice.
  • michaelhornby365
    michaelhornby365 Posts: 39 Member
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    robertw486 wrote: »
    It's a tricky thing, but human emotions are tricky even without any type of disorders as well. In a nutshell, for a bipolar struggling to control it, take your own emotions and exaggerate them, both the up and down swings. But I will also state that having known several, there are likely many people bipolar, or diagnosed with other things, that most people would have no clue, because they have found the ways to manage it.

    I know a psychologist who openly stated his reasoning for going into a mental health field was after attending a conference and discovering that many of the prominent figures within the field were in recovery from their own mental health issues. And it helped him break the stereotype that all people with such diagnosis would be recognized by normal observation and human interaction.

    The road might be harder to travel if you choose to have a relationship of any kind with people still struggling to control any issue. But I wouldn't walk away from an alcoholic, addict, or bipolar person because I was too weak to be a good human. I'd opt to help within the limits I set, and learn from someone traveling a harder road. But that's all personal choice.

    Think that where you hit the nail on the head..
    Limits.
    My own limits are being tested.
    Maybe why on sat, I spent most of the day, wanting to run away, as far as I could as fast as I could.
    I don't want to walk away. I want to be part of her life in one way or other...


  • TCamardella
    TCamardella Posts: 13 Member
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    I have Bipolar 1.
    Have.
    It doesn't go away.
    Don't think of the stigmas that go along with it. Were not omgyes happy and i *kitten* hate you upset the next. Were emotional people, and part of the problem is understanding, comprehending, and controlling these emotions. It's a sickness, but it's not us. We are not a sick person, we are just a person who HAS a sickness. Sometimes I can't control my emotions. Sometimes I can. Sometimes I get so happy I start to shake, sometimes I get so sad I want to kill myself. These can last hours, to days, to weeks. But it isn't a sudden "woosh" change you would think it to be. Medication and therapy helps me, but may not help your friend. It depends on the person, each case is different. You can talk to me or scour the internet, but it's always best to talk to the person yourself.

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