Love to pick someone thoughts who had bipolar
michaelhornby365
Posts: 39 Member
Would love to learn more about bipolar 1st hand. have a met someone I like who had bipolar and finding it had to understand, so if anyone would be happy.(more the female side) too pm me so I could ask a few question that would be great.. Thank you
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Once bi-polar always bi-polar. It does not go away. It can managed with medications which unfortunately usually have side effects.0
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Yeah it's more the being push away part I'm finding very hard to cope with. As not really understanding why I'm push away and the rest are kept close by...0
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As a normal depressive I can say there's no logical reason at the time why suddenly you don't want to be with certain people....you just don't. Don't take it personally. And as above you don't ever stop being bi polar.0
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pootle1972 wrote: »As a normal depressive I can say there's no logical reason at the time why suddenly you don't want to be with certain people....you just don't. Don't take it personally. And as above you don't ever stop being bi polar.
Yeah I kind of fly off the handle when I push away and I know I should not as took it as an attack.. Which I know is the wrong way to react..
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I know about bipolar disorder second-hand. When in a manic phase, bipolars do tend to get annoyed with the people around them because frankly, they're not keeping up (manic speed). When depressed, bipolars may not have much interest in interacting at all.
You're watching a roller-coaster in action. Your choice if you want to join in or stay grounded.0 -
I know about bipolar disorder second-hand. When in a manic phase, bipolars do tend to get annoyed with the people around them because frankly, they're not keeping up (manic speed). When depressed, bipolars may not have much interest in interacting at all.
You're watching a roller-coaster in action. Your choice if you want to join in or stay grounded.
So I got let them get on with it, if I want to keep myself together and be there when they fall. long they don't put themself in danger..
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Like others said.. you dont "had" bi polar.. its not healable.. its controllable.. at best.
A good friend of mine has it and it wrecks her life on a daily basis.. Its also not easy beeing a friend because the highs and lows are so brutal.. unlike anything i ever knew before.
But dont let that discourage you. Bipolars are wonderfull people too(or as least as often as "normal" people" gosh.. whos normal^^) and if you stick with them as a loyal friend.. they will love you to death for it because they lose alot of friends all the time.0 -
IZoltansbeard wrote: »Like others said.. you dont "had" bi polar.. its not healable.. its controllable.. at best.
A good friend of mine has it and it wrecks her life on a daily basis.. Its also not easy beeing a friend because the highs and lows are so brutal.. unlike anything i ever knew before.
But dont let that discourage you. Bipolars are wonderfull people too(or as least as often as "normal" people" gosh.. whos normal^^) and if you stick with them as a loyal friend.. they will love you to death for it because they lose alot of friends all the time.
Thank you I don't plan to leave . I just hate the way I respond to her so far when she push me.. And want to understand better and act a way that does not upset me or her.
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michaelhornby365 wrote: »
IZoltansbeard wrote: »Like others said.. you dont "had" bi polar.. its not healable.. its controllable.. at best.
A good friend of mine has it and it wrecks her life on a daily basis.. Its also not easy beeing a friend because the highs and lows are so brutal.. unlike anything i ever knew before.
But dont let that discourage you. Bipolars are wonderfull people too(or as least as often as "normal" people" gosh.. whos normal^^) and if you stick with them as a loyal friend.. they will love you to death for it because they lose alot of friends all the time.
Thank you I don't plan to leave . I just hate the way I respond to her so far when she push me.. And want to understand better and act a way that does not upset me or her.
You know what.. it really speaks for you.
You also have to understand bipolar people often times cant exactly say what they feel and sometimes even know in the moment.
When she pushes you away.. inside she fears nothing more then losing you and is kinda testing if you would leave. Its hard but thats at least my experience.
My friend told me herself that when she pushes me away and even says she hates me inside she feels "please hold me tight because i am so scared of losing you.. i love you more then you know"
If you want to add me as friend and if you want i can give you more insights.0 -
I suggest reading up on boundaries. You want to keep your balance even when she can't.
I'll give a practical example. When my mother was on a "high" she used to call me at 3:00 in the morning. It was highly disruptive. I had a good think about it and decided if she was calling me at inappropriate times, it was a call for help. So I got her admitted to get her medications adjusted. After that she never called me at 3:00 in the morning any more, and she never went off her medication again.
Also on her "high" she did other highly inappropriate things like run in to traffic to slow down cars. It's called "danger to herself or others" and is the legal point where loved-ones can intervene.0 -
You know what.. it really speaks for you.
You also have to understand bipolar people often times cant exactly say what they feel and sometimes even know in the moment.
When she pushes you away.. inside she fears nothing more then losing you and is kinda testing if you would leave. Its hard but thats at least my experience.
My friend told me herself that when she pushes me away and even says she hates me inside she feels "please hold me tight because i am so scared of losing you.. i love you more then you know"
If you want to add me as friend and if you want i can give you more insights.[/quote]
Thank you have added you. Some time the look I get off her when she pushes me away. And the rage I see in her when I ask is it me..
I watch as she shakes in rage and then walks away..
I will try just to be there and smile and know it's an illness.
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michaelhornby365 wrote: »Thank you have added you. Some time the look I get off her when she pushes me away. And the rage I see in her when I ask is it me..
I watch as she shakes in rage and then walks away..
I will try just to be there and smile and know it's an illness.
np, i wrote you a mail already
Well the thing is.. propably it is you but in a totally different way you are propably used to. Such little and almost "silly" things can trigger a rage attack.. and other times it is not you but something completly different..many times something completly random.
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Mom was furious when people would not go along with her latest grand idea. She hung on to that resentment for along time, even after her episode was over. It was quite unfair to the loved-ones around her.
It's a sign that the medications aren't sorted.0 -
My mother has a severe case of bipolar and it just seems to get worse each year. I have experienced alot of the highs and lows as most of you have expressed. She has gotten to the point of not wanting to leave her house and every time we talk she tries to start arguments or fights. When Dealing with bipolar disorder it is important to have patience and to be able to not take things personal when it is said. One moment my mom will cuss me out like a dog for no reason and 5 minutes later call me back to say she loves me and is sorry.0
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Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
But thanks all for helping me understand a little more0 -
michaelhornby365 wrote: »Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
But thanks all for helping me understand a little more
If this is a new relationship, is she on treatment? Does she acknowledge she is ill and keep up with her appointments and meds, or do you have reasons to believe she is in denial? If it is the latter, distance yourself. You cannot help a mentally ill patient who is in a pattern of denial and refusing treatment or who believes she has been cured. I know it sounds cruel, but you really are in for a lot of misery otherwise, and not going to help her either, unless you are prepared for a life of relapses and involuntary commitments. Taking care of a non compliant mentally ill patient is not a situation I would wish to my worst enemy to be honest.
If she is being treated, then discuss with her the possibility of accompanying her to her next appointment so you can get information material about the illness and a recommendation for a support group for relatives. You need to be prepared that this will be for life, that there is no cure, that she will need lots of support, that there will be good and bad periods, and that you too will need support in order to support her.
Whatever you do, do not stay out of pity, or to save her. Neither of you deserves such a relationship.
To add, be prepared to not fall into a pattern of letting the illness dictate how your relationship progresses. She might be overenthusiastic and about to become dependent on you, when you would normally feel ready for this. Do not for a second let the fact she is ill make you take the relationship to a level you would otherwise not feel ready for. I have seen mentally ill patients finding it hard to cope with taking things slowly, or with acknowledging that a relationship might start as more casual, and feeling betrayed from triggers someone else would nto even register. Do not let the illness force you to a level of commitment that feels overwhelming too soon.0 -
michaelhornby365 wrote: »Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
But thanks all for helping me understand a little more
If this is a new relationship, is she on treatment? Does she acknowledge she is ill and keep up with her appointments and meds, or do you have reasons to believe she is in denial? If it is the latter, distance yourself. You cannot help a mentally ill patient who is in a pattern of denial and refusing treatment or who believes she has been cured. I know it sounds cruel, but you really are in for a lot of misery otherwise, and not going to help her either, unless you are prepared for a life of relapses and involuntary commitments. Taking care of a non compliant mentally ill patient is not a situation I would wish to my worst enemy to be honest.
If she is being treated, then discuss with her the possibility of accompanying her to her next appointment so you can get information material about the illness and a recommendation for a support group for relatives. You need to be prepared that this will be for life, that there is no cure, that she will need lots of support, that there will be good and bad periods, and that you too will need support in order to support her.
Whatever you do, do not stay out of pity, or to save her. Neither of you deserves such a relationship.
To add, be prepared to not fall into a pattern of letting the illness dictate how your relationship progresses. She might be overenthusiastic and about to become dependent on you, when you would normally feel ready for this. Do not for a second let the fact she is ill make you take the relationship to a level you would otherwise not feel ready for. I have seen mentally ill patients finding it hard to cope with taking things slowly, or with acknowledging that a relationship might start as more casual, and feeling betrayed from triggers someone else would nto even register. Do not let the illness force you to a level of commitment that feels overwhelming too soon.
Yes on meds. Around 5 aday she has told me.
Have known her for 2 years and only just now we become close..
She had stop her meds now and then and I have help her to retake.
Have said I go with her to the doc and help her and so far she had refused..
Yes the pace has been a problem..
I have had to put the breaks on so many time and pull back to breath..
And dare I speak to any women at work... Ohhhh the green eye....
I don't fill pity for her.
She had inspired me so much..
Have got down to 18% body fat and dropping. Stop somking, and start running. And join the gym.. All Bec I see how hard she works to just face the world and I was just sat on my bum eatting rubbish.
So yes I have done some a lot of things to keep my mind from turning into mush0 -
It's a tricky thing, but human emotions are tricky even without any type of disorders as well. In a nutshell, for a bipolar struggling to control it, take your own emotions and exaggerate them, both the up and down swings. But I will also state that having known several, there are likely many people bipolar, or diagnosed with other things, that most people would have no clue, because they have found the ways to manage it.
I know a psychologist who openly stated his reasoning for going into a mental health field was after attending a conference and discovering that many of the prominent figures within the field were in recovery from their own mental health issues. And it helped him break the stereotype that all people with such diagnosis would be recognized by normal observation and human interaction.
The road might be harder to travel if you choose to have a relationship of any kind with people still struggling to control any issue. But I wouldn't walk away from an alcoholic, addict, or bipolar person because I was too weak to be a good human. I'd opt to help within the limits I set, and learn from someone traveling a harder road. But that's all personal choice.0 -
robertw486 wrote: »It's a tricky thing, but human emotions are tricky even without any type of disorders as well. In a nutshell, for a bipolar struggling to control it, take your own emotions and exaggerate them, both the up and down swings. But I will also state that having known several, there are likely many people bipolar, or diagnosed with other things, that most people would have no clue, because they have found the ways to manage it.
I know a psychologist who openly stated his reasoning for going into a mental health field was after attending a conference and discovering that many of the prominent figures within the field were in recovery from their own mental health issues. And it helped him break the stereotype that all people with such diagnosis would be recognized by normal observation and human interaction.
The road might be harder to travel if you choose to have a relationship of any kind with people still struggling to control any issue. But I wouldn't walk away from an alcoholic, addict, or bipolar person because I was too weak to be a good human. I'd opt to help within the limits I set, and learn from someone traveling a harder road. But that's all personal choice.
Think that where you hit the nail on the head..
Limits.
My own limits are being tested.
Maybe why on sat, I spent most of the day, wanting to run away, as far as I could as fast as I could.
I don't want to walk away. I want to be part of her life in one way or other...
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I have Bipolar 1.
Have.
It doesn't go away.
Don't think of the stigmas that go along with it. Were not omgyes happy and i *kitten* hate you upset the next. Were emotional people, and part of the problem is understanding, comprehending, and controlling these emotions. It's a sickness, but it's not us. We are not a sick person, we are just a person who HAS a sickness. Sometimes I can't control my emotions. Sometimes I can. Sometimes I get so happy I start to shake, sometimes I get so sad I want to kill myself. These can last hours, to days, to weeks. But it isn't a sudden "woosh" change you would think it to be. Medication and therapy helps me, but may not help your friend. It depends on the person, each case is different. You can talk to me or scour the internet, but it's always best to talk to the person yourself.0 -
My only thought is to realize this can be misdiagnosed... as it was in my case. I was depressed, no doubt. However, after years on medications that ended up making me feel like total crap, I finally found a really, really good family doctor who helped me to realize that I was not actually bi-polar. I got off all meds and started eating healthy and working out and my whole life changed. Now, I do suffer with mild depression still, off and on, for which I take a mild anti-depressant. However, a good psychologist has also been instrumental in helping me change the things that I can so that I'm 99% a happier, more stable person.
How old is this person? Does she have access to a registered psychologist and would she be willing to go? Could she really just be struggling with a bad childhood? Sorry, I did not read all the posts above. And believe me, I am aware that there certainly are people with bi-polar disorder. Just want you to know there are also people who are misdiagnosed with it as well. I think for you the main thing should be: if she is willing to get and keep on with appropriate help, then it could be worth staying in a relationship. If not, it's time to cut losses and let her deal with it on her own. That's my 2 cents. You don't need a relationship that is being controlled by whether your significant other has decided to take her meds today or not.0 -
michaelhornby365 wrote: »michaelhornby365 wrote: »Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
But thanks all for helping me understand a little more
If this is a new relationship, is she on treatment? Does she acknowledge she is ill and keep up with her appointments and meds, or do you have reasons to believe she is in denial? If it is the latter, distance yourself. You cannot help a mentally ill patient who is in a pattern of denial and refusing treatment or who believes she has been cured. I know it sounds cruel, but you really are in for a lot of misery otherwise, and not going to help her either, unless you are prepared for a life of relapses and involuntary commitments. Taking care of a non compliant mentally ill patient is not a situation I would wish to my worst enemy to be honest.
If she is being treated, then discuss with her the possibility of accompanying her to her next appointment so you can get information material about the illness and a recommendation for a support group for relatives. You need to be prepared that this will be for life, that there is no cure, that she will need lots of support, that there will be good and bad periods, and that you too will need support in order to support her.
Whatever you do, do not stay out of pity, or to save her. Neither of you deserves such a relationship.
To add, be prepared to not fall into a pattern of letting the illness dictate how your relationship progresses. She might be overenthusiastic and about to become dependent on you, when you would normally feel ready for this. Do not for a second let the fact she is ill make you take the relationship to a level you would otherwise not feel ready for. I have seen mentally ill patients finding it hard to cope with taking things slowly, or with acknowledging that a relationship might start as more casual, and feeling betrayed from triggers someone else would nto even register. Do not let the illness force you to a level of commitment that feels overwhelming too soon.
Yes on meds. Around 5 aday she has told me.
Have known her for 2 years and only just now we become close..
She had stop her meds now and then and I have help her to retake.
Have said I go with her to the doc and help her and so far she had refused..
Yes the pace has been a problem..
I have had to put the breaks on so many time and pull back to breath..
And dare I speak to any women at work... Ohhhh the green eye....
I don't fill pity for her.
She had inspired me so much..
Have got down to 18% body fat and dropping. Stop somking, and start running. And join the gym.. All Bec I see how hard she works to just face the world and I was just sat on my bum eatting rubbish.
So yes I have done some a lot of things to keep my mind from turning into mush
You need to find time to think about your situation. Not about her needs, even if you love her. You need to figure out if you can do this or not. It might never get better. It is very probable there will be times it will get worse. Your life and your relationship will not be "normal", ever. Which is a hard decision to make, but you need to be aware of it and make the decision realising what it will be like. I know people who are leading "normal" lives and having families, stable marriages, successful careers. But as a partner in a relationship with a bipolar patient, you need to redefine your "normal".
Talk to a therapist. Most people in situations like yours need a good therapist for support. It might be on and off depeneding on how things are going, but it is better to look for one when things are not in the middle of a very bad phase. There are also places that offer therapy sessions for the patient and relatives, so this might help too long term.
If she has stopped meds, is refusing to see a dr and you suspect she is in the beginning of a manic phase, she might be facing the very unpleasant task of involuntary commitment in the not so far future if things get out of control. Does she have family living close or at least family you can get in touch with? You might not be able to even do anythign yourself. And if she has cut all ties with family, you need to know why. If the family was severely dysfunctional to begin with, this might be normal and a good thing. But, it might mean there is a history of episodes that even the most loving family found impossible to deal with.
Get an appointment with a psychiatrist yourself, you need to know what are the risks (to her and others), what are early signs of trouble and how to respond. Be prepared that tough love techniques will also be discussed.0 -
I have bipolar. I am newly diagnosed and on meds. I do have an instant switch in moods. Even while medicated. Medication doesnt completely fix the swings.
I am in a long term relationshipnwith two small children. i struggle daily to get out of bed and the whole day is spent managing how I am reacting. The meds have helped significantly. But the biggest things the meds do for me is allow me to rationalize (being irrational is a huge part of my disorder). The meds make my thoughts more organized and makes it easier to communicate what i need and how i am feeling. This past week has been bad for me and my boyfriend. It feels like the meds are not working BUT something as simple as a cold can throw off the meds (seriously anything that interfers with how you feel will mess with the meds).
Few points.
When someone with bipolar goes into a rage the very last thing they want is to be left alone. Even if we are screaming to go or that they hate you etc. Personally when I am in a rage this is how it is in my head. I am screaming. And usually pacing. Crying is typical. I am saying horribl hurtful things. But in my head i am also screaming at myself. I am screaming "Mindy STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? GET CONTROL" it almost feels like some one has taken over my body and i can watch myswlf going through the process of the rage.
Make it very clear that abusive behaviour such as bame calling and hitting will not be tolerated.
When I am raging the best thing my boyfriend can do is hug me and not say that i am being crazy irrational or ridiculous. I already know all this. I need support love and kindness.
I have broken things. I put a key board through our 50" flat screen. I have broken dishes and i once threw an open full 2L bottle of diet coke at my boyfriend and then told him it was his fault and he could clean it up. I have shut of breakers. One time was going to smash the window out of my car because he locked the second set of keys in it so i couldnt drive anywhere. I have gotten out of vehicles on highways and busy streets.
We dont act the way we do because we think it is funny or enjoyable. Most times we are screaming in our own heads to stop. It is exhausting and embarrassing. It is dangerous mostly for ourselves and sometimes for others.
There isnt a day that goes by where i think suicide would be best for myself and those around me. I struggle with being a well adjusted mom and future wife. My boyfriend is very calm and non reactive. Most of the time now when I feel a rage coming I put myself in time out lol i go to bed or the shower.
Honestly for people with BPD. Everyday is a struggle to do even the simplest of tasks. Things most take for granted becomes a very complicated task.0 -
By the way, my mom carved out for herself a happy and productive life, and her community deeply missed her when she was gone. She had spunk, a family trait I am happy to inherit from her.
I was relieved when dad separated from her and moved on. The dynamics between those two was poisonous and mom would have dragged him to the edge of insanity himself.0 -
mindierae1 wrote: »I have bipolar. I am newly diagnosed and on meds. I do have an instant switch in moods. Even while medicated. Medication doesnt completely fix the swings.
I am in a long term relationshipnwith two small children. i struggle daily to get out of bed and the whole day is spent managing how I am reacting. The meds have helped significantly. But the biggest things the meds do for me is allow me to rationalize (being irrational is a huge part of my disorder). The meds make my thoughts more organized and makes it easier to communicate what i need and how i am feeling. This past week has been bad for me and my boyfriend. It feels like the meds are not working BUT something as simple as a cold can throw off the meds (seriously anything that interfers with how you feel will mess with the meds).
Few points.
When someone with bipolar goes into a rage the very last thing they want is to be left alone. Even if we are screaming to go or that they hate you etc. Personally when I am in a rage this is how it is in my head. I am screaming. And usually pacing. Crying is typical. I am saying horribl hurtful things. But in my head i am also screaming at myself. I am screaming "Mindy STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? GET CONTROL" it almost feels like some one has taken over my body and i can watch myswlf going through the process of the rage.
Make it very clear that abusive behaviour such as bame calling and hitting will not be tolerated.
When I am raging the best thing my boyfriend can do is hug me and not say that i am being crazy irrational or ridiculous. I already know all this. I need support love and kindness.
I have broken things. I put a key board through our 50" flat screen. I have broken dishes and i once threw an open full 2L bottle of diet coke at my boyfriend and then told him it was his fault and he could clean it up. I have shut of breakers. One time was going to smash the window out of my car because he locked the second set of keys in it so i couldnt drive anywhere. I have gotten out of vehicles on highways and busy streets.
We dont act the way we do because we think it is funny or enjoyable. Most times we are screaming in our own heads to stop. It is exhausting and embarrassing. It is dangerous mostly for ourselves and sometimes for others.
There isnt a day that goes by where i think suicide would be best for myself and those around me. I struggle with being a well adjusted mom and future wife. My boyfriend is very calm and non reactive. Most of the time now when I feel a rage coming I put myself in time out lol i go to bed or the shower.
Honestly for people with BPD. Everyday is a struggle to do even the simplest of tasks. Things most take for granted becomes a very complicated task.
Wow thank you.
Kind of help me understand a bit more.
Don't think I have reactive in a good way to start with. would all ways take it as an attack on me and reactive by walking away from the area or shouting back..
I all so, stand up for myself and let her know if I think she over step the mark.
But have never once walk from her life.. Strange how one person can make you see the world from a diff world..
Thank you xxxx
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mindierae1 wrote: »I have bipolar. I am newly diagnosed and on meds. I do have an instant switch in moods. Even while medicated. Medication doesnt completely fix the swings.
I am in a long term relationshipnwith two small children. i struggle daily to get out of bed and the whole day is spent managing how I am reacting. The meds have helped significantly. But the biggest things the meds do for me is allow me to rationalize (being irrational is a huge part of my disorder). The meds make my thoughts more organized and makes it easier to communicate what i need and how i am feeling. This past week has been bad for me and my boyfriend. It feels like the meds are not working BUT something as simple as a cold can throw off the meds (seriously anything that interfers with how you feel will mess with the meds).
Few points.
When someone with bipolar goes into a rage the very last thing they want is to be left alone. Even if we are screaming to go or that they hate you etc. Personally when I am in a rage this is how it is in my head. I am screaming. And usually pacing. Crying is typical. I am saying horribl hurtful things. But in my head i am also screaming at myself. I am screaming "Mindy STOP! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? GET CONTROL" it almost feels like some one has taken over my body and i can watch myswlf going through the process of the rage.
Make it very clear that abusive behaviour such as bame calling and hitting will not be tolerated.
When I am raging the best thing my boyfriend can do is hug me and not say that i am being crazy irrational or ridiculous. I already know all this. I need support love and kindness.
I have broken things. I put a key board through our 50" flat screen. I have broken dishes and i once threw an open full 2L bottle of diet coke at my boyfriend and then told him it was his fault and he could clean it up. I have shut of breakers. One time was going to smash the window out of my car because he locked the second set of keys in it so i couldnt drive anywhere. I have gotten out of vehicles on highways and busy streets.
We dont act the way we do because we think it is funny or enjoyable. Most times we are screaming in our own heads to stop. It is exhausting and embarrassing. It is dangerous mostly for ourselves and sometimes for others.
There isnt a day that goes by where i think suicide would be best for myself and those around me. I struggle with being a well adjusted mom and future wife. My boyfriend is very calm and non reactive. Most of the time now when I feel a rage coming I put myself in time out lol i go to bed or the shower.
Honestly for people with BPD. Everyday is a struggle to do even the simplest of tasks. Things most take for granted becomes a very complicated task.
I have to say you sound an incredibly strong woman!
I know this is a bit off topic, and there is no need to reply, but if you have not already done so, please do talk to a therapist about how to help your kids cope with what is happening. An adult understands, a child does not. Even if they get used to it, they do not really understand on their own. I know there is often the point of view that if we do not talk about what is happening, it will be forgotten and considered as a part of life by kids, but, honestly, it is not that simple.
As an adult, I could understand you are yelling because you just overwhelmed and not because you hate me. As a child, no. Unfortunately kids are self-centred creatures, they always think that what is happening is about them.
My parents were both in need of psychiatric help, although definitely did not have an attitude anywhere as good as yours. Probably your perception of what is happening to you, means that you are already doing a great job helping your kids cope. But even if they seem too young, a therapist might help you explain to them in age appropriate terms what is happening and that is just an illness.0 -
michaelhornby365 wrote: »michaelhornby365 wrote: »Starting to see the signs of a manic one coming on today as the story have started and when I offer to help it's a case of dose not matter.
But thanks all for helping me understand a little more
If this is a new relationship, is she on treatment? Does she acknowledge she is ill and keep up with her appointments and meds, or do you have reasons to believe she is in denial? If it is the latter, distance yourself. You cannot help a mentally ill patient who is in a pattern of denial and refusing treatment or who believes she has been cured. I know it sounds cruel, but you really are in for a lot of misery otherwise, and not going to help her either, unless you are prepared for a life of relapses and involuntary commitments. Taking care of a non compliant mentally ill patient is not a situation I would wish to my worst enemy to be honest.
If she is being treated, then discuss with her the possibility of accompanying her to her next appointment so you can get information material about the illness and a recommendation for a support group for relatives. You need to be prepared that this will be for life, that there is no cure, that she will need lots of support, that there will be good and bad periods, and that you too will need support in order to support her.
Whatever you do, do not stay out of pity, or to save her. Neither of you deserves such a relationship.
To add, be prepared to not fall into a pattern of letting the illness dictate how your relationship progresses. She might be overenthusiastic and about to become dependent on you, when you would normally feel ready for this. Do not for a second let the fact she is ill make you take the relationship to a level you would otherwise not feel ready for. I have seen mentally ill patients finding it hard to cope with taking things slowly, or with acknowledging that a relationship might start as more casual, and feeling betrayed from triggers someone else would nto even register. Do not let the illness force you to a level of commitment that feels overwhelming too soon.
Yes on meds. Around 5 aday she has told me.
Have known her for 2 years and only just now we become close..
She had stop her meds now and then and I have help her to retake.
Have said I go with her to the doc and help her and so far she had refused..
Yes the pace has been a problem..
I have had to put the breaks on so many time and pull back to breath..
And dare I speak to any women at work... Ohhhh the green eye....
I don't fill pity for her.
She had inspired me so much..
Have got down to 18% body fat and dropping. Stop somking, and start running. And join the gym.. All Bec I see how hard she works to just face the world and I was just sat on my bum eatting rubbish.
So yes I have done some a lot of things to keep my mind from turning into mush
People with bipolar who are in a manic phase can be interesting and attractive and charming. The number of pills and medication is not important -- as a person could be taking one major medication that does the job while another person needs several different ones.
She needs to be responsible about keeping in close contact with her psychiatrist and following her plan.0 -
People with bipolar who are in a manic phase can be interesting and attractive and charming. The number of pills and medication is not important -- as a person could be taking one major medication that does the job while another person needs several different ones.
She needs to be responsible about keeping in close contact with her psychiatrist and following her plan.[/quote]
Starting to see a pattern now when she low or down. I tend to get push away.
Ask her last night and was told I only push you away Bec its Easyier to push the ones I love away and bring the one I don't mind hurting in close..
Ask her how she like me to be, and was told just smile...
So finger cross I can take it on board X0 -
As people have said, it doesn't go away. it's a lifetime disorder. I am friends with a person I believe an undiagnosed BPD or at least a borderline personality disorder.
boundaries are necessary. or they and their emotions and whims will destroy your life whether they mean it or not in my experience.
I've found not engaging when an extreme emotion happens can help deescalate an occurrence. Sometimes, I'll just leave if i think the episode won't change while I am present. They can say downright horrible things and then come to you crying five minutes later. I do my best not to take it personally because it's the disease and not the person. but i'm not perfect either. It's a learning experience for both of us and it takes commitment that both parties have to participate in. my friend can be very much like @mindierae1 and it takes a toll but our friendship is worth it.0 -
If she's only on day 5, the meds won't be working very well yet, either. It takes a while for them to kick in. If you two are close, you might be her safe person, and bear the brunt of whatever is going on. For your own mental health, it would be very good for you to find a therapist to talk about this with, to ensure that you're performing your own self care, and that you don't become co-dependent with her.
My boyfriend is bipolar and is an alcoholic. He recently tried to kill himself. It was a terrifying and tragic episode, however it has allowed him the space to get sober, and start back on meds. It's taking a little while for the meds to really fully start working, but I am seeing a much smaller swing between the manic and depressive. In fact - he's only had one day where he has refused to get out of bed in the past three weeks (huge improvement). I love him and want him to get better, but I have to be very careful, as we both have codependent tendencies. I need to remember to go out by myself (specifically without him) and do things that I enjoy (without him). I daily remind myself that I am not in charge of his recovery. I can help him remember things, but it is not my job to monitor him. He will allow himself to be so dependent on me that he will blame me for not following through on things, although will take ownership once I started to refuse to take responsibility for his decisions.
Be careful. People with mental health issues deserve love, and are worthy of love and time. But you need to make sure that you're also taking care of yourself so you don't end up unhealthy. You need to remember that healthy, for you, might mean not being together, and if that comes to pass... you will both be ok.0
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