failure

carthur7575
carthur7575 Posts: 15 Member
edited November 27 in Health and Weight Loss
When will I ever find the motivation to stick to my plan? How bad does it have to be? Why am I such a failure?
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Replies

  • ilex70
    ilex70 Posts: 727 Member
    Failure is always an option, but it isn't a destination.

    When the right motivation comes along it will kick you in the *kitten*. But if you haven't been smacked by the motivation fairy, then just take it one day at a time.

    Every day is a new opportunity to move in the right direction, to choose self-love over self loathing.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Create littler goals. Baby steps.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Motivation comes and goes. Find an activity you enjoy doing and you are more likely to want to do it. Failure at dieting is often due to setting strict or extreme goals, so try setting your goal to lose 1/2 pound per week the adjust it when you have stuck to it for a while.
  • gostumpy
    gostumpy Posts: 156 Member
    After failure we can find the journey to success :)
  • Jmgkamp
    Jmgkamp Posts: 278 Member
    I think I finally found "success" when I realized that success is every 24 hour period that I stick to my goals, whatever they were that day. Big deal if you had a rough day, week, month, etc. So what? You have tomorrow to do better. That's the best part!
  • Lovee_Dove7
    Lovee_Dove7 Posts: 742 Member
    It's a series of stops and starts. And regrouping and getting back to it. Persistence, progress, effort.
    You learn in the process, and giving up is not an option!
  • kissedbythesunshine
    kissedbythesunshine Posts: 416 Member
    This
    Lovee_Dove7 wrote: »
    It's a series of stops and starts. And regrouping and getting back to it. Persistence, progress, effort.
    You learn in the process, and giving up is not an option!

  • DaniCanadian
    DaniCanadian Posts: 261 Member
    edited December 2015
    I think you need to stop thinking of yourself as a failure. We all have setbacks on the road to a goal. Do your best to minimize the set back and you'll be ok. Obsessing over something such as weight loss will not help. Like everything in life, do it in moderation.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    I stumbled along this path for two years before realizing I could do this without being miserable. It takes time to find the right balance. It takes patience because the progress is never fast enough. It takes forgiveness of ourselves because we are human. Stop looking at yourself as a failure and reevaluate your goals and methods. Are you expecting too much too soon, are you being too hard on yourself, are you being too restrictive? Fix those things.

    If a friend said the same things you just did, would you tell them how horrible they are for not being able to follow the plan? Of course not. So why do you get to talk to/about yourself this way? You can do it, but I think you need to adjust your approach/expectations.
  • HippySkoppy
    HippySkoppy Posts: 725 Member
    carthur7575 wrote: »
    When will I ever find the motivation to stick to my plan? How bad does it have to be? Why am I such a failure?

    Rather than looking at yourself in such negative terms ie. "I''m a failure"........you can choose to regard your previous 'plan' as something you initially thought would work but now you realize it is actually NOT viable nor sustainable for you....so it makes sense to abandon that train of thought and look for a NEW way to achieve your goals.

    Early days my friend....Everyone has set backs. Everyone makes tweaks here and there....uses themselves as an experimental model to try different ways of eating, exercise, meal timing etc etc.

    The roads to attaining weight and fitness goals are many.

    Persistence, patience and commitment are going to be better allies to you than motivation.

    Is it normal to feel frustrated and discouraged at times but the way to success is to NEVER give up on yourself....take smaller bites perhaps.

    For example - Commit to logging as accurately and diligently as humanly possible. Make sure your deficit is reasonable and not to aggressive. Eat well for both nutrition and for mental well-being ie: Eat the foods you love and don't go trying to force some style of eating just because of latest trends. Get in some enjoyable exercise for health and fitness if you can/want. Use the wonderful resources of MFP and read as much as you can.....Success Stories is particularly inspiring if you feel a little down on yourself.

    Above all be kind to yourself...and never give up on yourself. I wish you all the best.

  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
    carthur7575 wrote: »
    When will I ever find the motivation to stick to my plan? How bad does it have to be? Why am I such a failure?

    What do you consider a failure? Having a bad day? A bad week? re-gaining 5 pounds? Regaining 50 pounds?

    What I would consider to be a failure is having a bad day, week or month, and using that as an excuse to quit. Had a bad day? Brush yourself off and continue on like it didn't happen. Ditto for had a bad week. Had a bad month? Maybe time to re-consider what you are doing (goals too aggressive, work out plan too hard, etc) and get back to it.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10257474/starting-out-restarting-basics-inside#latest
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    Listen up! Very good advice in here!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Set your plan up in a way that is 1) sustainable 2) suits your life. Creating a calorie deficit is the only way to lose weight, but there are a few different ways to go about that.
    Also, make sure that you're not trying to make too many drastic changes all at once. Look at what you id absolutely necessary and toss the rest.
  • melonaulait
    melonaulait Posts: 769 Member
    If your plan is kicking you in the behind, try adding back in foods you really, really love. Just have a smaller portion of something that's your absolute favorite thing, make it fit your calories for the day!! Do it every day if you want! That's a motivator.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    You are not a failure.

    You know what.. It took me around 5 attempts for it to click into place. And that's okay. The point is, I got there.

    You will too. Have faith in yourself and know you do have it in you and it DOESN'T have to be difficult.
  • Spadesheart
    Spadesheart Posts: 479 Member
    Only a failure if you give up, right?
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    In addition to motivation, you need a plan: http://drphil.com/articles/article/89
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    Just say "I've started so I'll finish"
  • bioklutz
    bioklutz Posts: 1,365 Member
    The only people who don't fail are the ones who don't try.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    carthur7575 wrote: »
    When will I ever find the motivation to stick to my plan? How bad does it have to be? Why am I such a failure?

    Is your goal and plan reasonable and sustainable? You may not have the right plan for you.
    If you have less than 50 lbs to lose then 1 lb a week is more reasonable than 2 lbs. If you are a beginner at an exercise then working out for hours or doing the most intense program immediately is not going to be easy to continue.

    I didn't stick to plans where I gave up food I liked or my goal was too agressive. Moderate exercise and just sticking to my calorie goal while mostly eating my normal diet has been easiest for me.

    You are only a failure when you stop trying. Every day is a new day. You don't have to be perfect every day.

    Dial back your goals to simple things like weighing, measuring and logging anything you eat or drink.
    Next work on sticking to your calorie goal. Don't stress much over nutrition.
    Next work on getting enough protein, fat and fiber.
    Start reducing portion sizes of higher calorie items and increasing lower calorie foods. Put more vegetable on your plate.
    Try pre-logging your food for the whole day.
  • lgrix
    lgrix Posts: 160 Member
    Maybe you need to develop a plan that you can succeed at? Are you trying to take too big of a jump? Why not start with a small change this week, something that you can succeed at with some effort. Then take another small step next week. Pretty soon, you will see that you can succeed, you just need the right plan. Good luck
  • carthur7575
    carthur7575 Posts: 15 Member
    Thank you all for the positive feedback. It is so comforting to experience the kindness of strangers. I haven't logged my meals in a month. In that time I've gained four pounds. I'm going to try again tomorrow. All i can do is try. I get so hungry at night though- suggestions?
  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
    I'm always hungry at night so I save at least 25% of my calories for evening snacking.
  • suziecue20
    suziecue20 Posts: 567 Member
    carthur7575 wrote: »
    Thank you all for the positive feedback. It is so comforting to experience the kindness of strangers. I haven't logged my meals in a month. In that time I've gained four pounds. I'm going to try again tomorrow. All i can do is try. I get so hungry at night though- suggestions?
    [/b

    Unless I'm having a big Sunday lunch I always eat light during the day and save the majority of my calories for my evening meal, which is pre-planned. I make sure my dinner is satisfying enough to see me through to breakfast the next day. If I have some calories spare after dinner I will have a treat but only if I have the "spares".

    Good luck, you can do it!!
  • beemerphile1
    beemerphile1 Posts: 1,710 Member
    Oftentimes failure is a result of setting too strict of a plan and unrealistic goals.

    Anyone should be able to do the 1/2 pound per week plan without even exercising.

    Since you didn't tell us how you failed, my guess would be that you created a plan that was doomed to fail from the beginning. You need to make a plan that is sustainable for the rest of your life. All that is needed is to eat the same foods you always have but eat a bit less and keep accurate logs.

    Avoid fad diets and ridiculous plans that are marketed by hucksters that are only after your money. MFP works if you stick with it and take baby steps.
  • Lovee_Dove7
    Lovee_Dove7 Posts: 742 Member
    carthur7575 wrote: »
    Thank you all for the positive feedback. It is so comforting to experience the kindness of strangers. I haven't logged my meals in a month. In that time I've gained four pounds. I'm going to try again tomorrow. All i can do is try. I get so hungry at night though- suggestions?
    Eat enough protein, fat and fiber during the day.

  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    and thats the kind of thinking you have to nip in the bud - there is no such thing as failure!....you dust yourself off, you get back on that horse and try, try, try again :smile:
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
    The only way I can fail is to give up entirely.

    I take every day as a new chance. I try to do the best that I can do today. I don't think about what happened yesterday or worry about tomorrow. I have control over today, so that's where my focus lies.

    Doesn't mean I don't ever have a bad day, but they've become less frequent the longer I've been doing this.
  • dhimaan
    dhimaan Posts: 774 Member
    I have always looked at failure as a stepping stone towards success. If you don't take those steps you will never succeed.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Lovee_Dove7 wrote: »
    carthur7575 wrote: »
    Thank you all for the positive feedback. It is so comforting to experience the kindness of strangers. I haven't logged my meals in a month. In that time I've gained four pounds. I'm going to try again tomorrow. All i can do is try. I get so hungry at night though- suggestions?
    Eat enough protein, fat and fiber during the day.

    This ^ plus I budget a few hundred calories for a pre-bed snack.

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