lack of support from loved ones

Can you describe your family a bit? Are you married? Kids?

Who lives with you?

I think it's really important that you get back on track. Ignore the comments and just do your own thing. Or, request that "if you can't say something nice, then say nothing". And get $20 a week to spend on yourself, and save it. That way you can buy things for yourself like, say, a workout DVD and dumb bells!

juliepaluscsak wrote: »

Married. One child. I'm a sahm, I have no vehicle, so I'm with my two year old all day, until my husband gets home, which is usually really late. I have no control of finances. So if i want something specific i have to ask for it, and if it's a no, then that is it. It was such a struggle that i just couldn't continue. So the healthy eating and exercise is really important to me. It seems that was the only thing I did for myself.

I don't want to alarm you, but the way you describe your finances is a form of financial abuse. You husband not supporting you loosing weight also feels like he is worried you may run off without him. People like that are insecure and controlling and it is unhealthy in many ways.

If you are up to it, please see the babycenter marriage and relationship board. Life should not be that difficult. Please consider getting some marriage counseling and individual counseling.

The good news is you can loose weight without money. As long as you control what goes in your mouth you have all the power to get healthy. As a pp mentioned, online videos, are a great way to exercise from home. Waking is also good and will get you out of the house.

I am a SAHM to 3 kids. My DH works. It is our money. I don't have to ask for permission so long as it fits into our budget which we agree together. If I need more money for extras he makes it happen. That now includes my protein shakes, gym membership, trainer, golf lessons...he is supportive of my goals. I'm not saying that our way is the only way, but just to illustrate the control he has on the money is a problem and not ok.

Pm me if you need to chat.

aggelikik wrote: »

juliepaluscsak wrote: »

Married. One child. I'm a sahm, I have no vehicle, so I'm with my two year old all day, until my husband gets home, which is usually really late. I have no control of finances. So if i want something specific i have to ask for it, and if it's a no, then that is it. It was such a struggle that i just couldn't continue. So the healthy eating and exercise is really important to me. It seems that was the only thing I did for myself.

Stop worrying about weight and exercise and start focusing on the big elephant in the living room. You being a SAHM is not working in your situation.

Agreed with this

Who in your family has made comments?

Sahm here as well. Husband is the only one working and he also gets home really late. I can relate to you on those things. As far as the budget goes... you should have some say so with that. I try not to touch on other's marriage issues because the truth is no one's marriage is perfect. We all have issues sometimes. The money situation shouldn't be one that only he makes decisions on though. I would have a sit down talk with him and see if room can be made for the items that you are wanting. If he is hell bent on you not having any say so than maybe it's time for you to look at other options. I don't mean a separation or divorce....I mean counseling (Google free marriage counseling), a part time job for you during the day while a family member watches the baby, etc. Good luck and feel free to add me or inbox me if you ever need to vent.

Why enable them to treat you like that? Stay away.

juliepaluscsak wrote: »

I'm not one to ask for help for anything, but lately I think I need to. I've been on a strict eating and exercise program for two years now. For the last three months I've slowly stopped doing anything at all and have completely sabotaged most of my progress. I feel as though I've only gotten negative comments from family and friends when I was on my healthy eating and exercise program. I have heard you are too skinny, you shouldn't do that, nothing positive. Just negative feed back. I have really been mentally beaten down by people in my life who are suppose to be the most supportive. Also no one in my life is dedicated to a healthy life style of exercise and healthy eating. Since I've stopped exercising and eating healthy noone had batted an eye about my weight gain. It's almost like people around me are more comfortable with me being unhealthy. Idk what to do. I'm just so mentally beaten down and confused by the lack of support. I want to start my health planagain, but don't know if i can handle the mental abuse and negativity I've received before. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you ahead of time!

First off - is there a chance they were right in some way? Some people being negative is not at all unusual, because some people can be jerks or insecure about themselves, but if everyone says it, particularly people who are otherwise reasonable and supportive, then it might be that they have concerns with your approach that you just don't see. Many people in their quest to get healthy end up taking a good thing too far, to the point that healthy living becomes a very unhealthy obsession.

What was your lowest BMI - was it within a healthy weight range? Were you successfully balancing diet and exercise with all the rest of your life, or were they taking over your life?

The choices also aren't between "strict" and "nothing" - that's a false dichotomy. There are all sorts of degrees to which you can manage your diet or exercise, and you can be a very healthy person without needing to be all that strict.