Weight loss after an eating disorder?
SoulOfRusalka
Posts: 1,201 Member
To start with, please don't tell me to talk to a therapist/nutritionist/etc. because that's not really an option for financial reasons if nothing else. I also know that there probably aren't a lot of people here with eating disorders, but I'm going to bet that there are quite a few who have gone through stages of disordered eating or at least unhealthy relationships with food.
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
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I don't have experience and I commend you for recovering but this would be my advice: set your mind more on fitness vs weight. Set fitness goals rather than food goals. Ie: one day you do 5 full push ups, the next week try to hit 10. Body weight workouts are fantastic and free, YouTube and Pinterest have bunches of them.
My mom is moridly obese and I grew up watching unhealthy relationships with food. I have 10 lbs left to lose to be a 'healthy' bmi (once I have my baby, I'm 31 weeks prego right now). If I focus on those 10 lbs I will drive myself to failure, so I changed my focus to fitness and even though the scale has stayed the same, results of strength workouts were showing to others.
Also, I know eating disorders are linked to anxiety, maybe have a person for support if you start feeling an obsessiveness about weight or fitness.
Good luck, I wish you strength to continue the fight to stay healthy.0 -
LadyAbsynthe wrote: »To start with, please don't tell me to talk to a therapist/nutritionist/etc. because that's not really an option for financial reasons if nothing else. I also know that there probably aren't a lot of people here with eating disorders, but I'm going to bet that there are quite a few who have gone through stages of disordered eating or at least unhealthy relationships with food.
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
Some people find weighing and logging their food obsessive. I don't. I've worked in kitchens that use food scales - they are used for accuracy. No one would characterize a baker's "obsessiveness" as being a bad thing. I find logging my food brings mindfulness. I have a calorie goal, and don't like to be in the red, which helps me not eat when I'm not hungry. I think of it from a financial perspective - what can I afford, calorie wise?
Also, I exercise regularly, self-soothe with exercise, and am fine if I have displaced some disordered thinking about food onto exercise.
I'll respect your wishes to not recommend therapy so instead what about looking for some free Buddhism classes which may help you find the middle path? My church had a free eight week course.
“Eating Mindfully” by Susan Albers might be helpful, and was available in my library system, so maybe yours as well.0 -
I think finding a fitness challenge is the best thing while recovering from ED. I've had EDNOS for 18 years, and I will start to notice 'urges' happening every few months. I stopped using my food scale and guesstimate my food (I'll dice up carrots without weighing them and then guesstimate that it was about a cups worth when logging). I also only weigh myself once a week. I used to do it everytime I passed the bathroom. Take progress photos and measurements if you're one that gets derailed when you hit a plateau.
The thing that really helps me tone up, feel good, and keep staying healthy is exercise programs. I did Insanity last year and it keeps you from over exercising since the DVD eventually ends. And don't set your calories too low since that will tease your restrictive habits. Figure out your TDEE and go from there.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »LadyAbsynthe wrote: »To start with, please don't tell me to talk to a therapist/nutritionist/etc. because that's not really an option for financial reasons if nothing else. I also know that there probably aren't a lot of people here with eating disorders, but I'm going to bet that there are quite a few who have gone through stages of disordered eating or at least unhealthy relationships with food.
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
Some people find weighing and logging their food obsessive. I don't. I've worked in kitchens that use food scales - they are used for accuracy. No one would characterize a baker's "obsessiveness" as being a bad thing. I find logging my food brings mindfulness. I have a calorie goal, and don't like to be in the red, which helps me not eat when I'm not hungry. I think of it from a financial perspective - what can I afford, calorie wise?
Also, I exercise regularly, self-soothe with exercise, and am fine if I have displaced some disordered thinking about food onto exercise.
I'll respect your wishes to not recommend therapy so instead what about looking for some free Buddhism classes which may help you find the middle path? My church had a free eight week course.
“Eating Mindfully” by Susan Albers might be helpful, and was available in my library system, so maybe yours as well.
I wasn't referring to the act of weighing/logging food as much as the mindset. Yeah, a pastry chef isn't "obsessive" for wanting the correct measurements so that her pastries come out right. That's because the pastry chef doesn't cry if she thinks that the label on a bag of chocolate chips might be wrong and there might be 5 more calories than she thought and that's the difference between being safe and being poisoned. That's what I mean by an obsessive mindset. See? The problem in ED recovery, for me at least, wasn't to become more mindful, it was to focus *less* on food. And, as stated, now I have no in-between.
But the point about Buddhism is a good one! I have an interest anyway, and I've been to meditation retreats before, and I mean to keep up my practice during the school year (which never works out, but I should really give it another try.) Thank you!0 -
I think finding a fitness challenge is the best thing while recovering from ED. I've had EDNOS for 18 years, and I will start to notice 'urges' happening every few months. I stopped using my food scale and guesstimate my food (I'll dice up carrots without weighing them and then guesstimate that it was about a cups worth when logging). I also only weigh myself once a week. I used to do it everytime I passed the bathroom. Take progress photos and measurements if you're one that gets derailed when you hit a plateau.
The thing that really helps me tone up, feel good, and keep staying healthy is exercise programs. I did Insanity last year and it keeps you from over exercising since the DVD eventually ends. And don't set your calories too low since that will tease your restrictive habits. Figure out your TDEE and go from there.
Thank you! I've been trying to weigh myself once a week too, and estimating foods instead of weighing them (I'm also at college so weighing food isn't really an option anyway, and I've never had a food scale or real measuring cups but that's another story.) Definitely going to take your advice about exercise programs! I really want to rebuild my strength anyway.0 -
LadyAbsynthe wrote: »I think finding a fitness challenge is the best thing while recovering from ED. I've had EDNOS for 18 years, and I will start to notice 'urges' happening every few months. I stopped using my food scale and guesstimate my food (I'll dice up carrots without weighing them and then guesstimate that it was about a cups worth when logging). I also only weigh myself once a week. I used to do it everytime I passed the bathroom. Take progress photos and measurements if you're one that gets derailed when you hit a plateau.
The thing that really helps me tone up, feel good, and keep staying healthy is exercise programs. I did Insanity last year and it keeps you from over exercising since the DVD eventually ends. And don't set your calories too low since that will tease your restrictive habits. Figure out your TDEE and go from there.
Thank you! I've been trying to weigh myself once a week too, and estimating foods instead of weighing them (I'm also at college so weighing food isn't really an option anyway, and I've never had a food scale or real measuring cups but that's another story.) Definitely going to take your advice about exercise programs! I really want to rebuild my strength anyway.
I like beach body programs like insanity, but they're expensive. Right now I am doing these downloadable apps that are just lovely. I'm doing 30 Day Abs, Squats, Push-ups, Arms, Butt, Thighs, and Cardio challenges. The 30 Day Plank Challenge doesn't work anymore. They're all free and day 1 only takes about 20 minutes to do all 7 challenges.
If you go to download them, the icon is a blue outline of a person with a black background.0 -
Finding a healthy mental balance between obsession and ignoring is the hardest part. Setting a realistic calorie goal based on your numbers can sometimes help. It's at least marginally healthier to obsess over getting 1600 calories in you than staying under 400 for instance. Ana is different in every brain it infects. It may take some trial and error to find what is going to work for you. Good luck. Health is always worth the fight.0
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Hey every body .i have an eating disorder i suffered from anorexia for 3 years then i started recovering in March 2015 i gained about 20 kilos until now (9 months) . i want to lose weight now ,but i don't know how i completely lost control .how can i do that .0
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Hey, I suffered from COED as a teen and child, then from EDNOS/bulimia for about a year and a half in my early 20's before pulling myself out of it. I didn't go to a therapist - I live in Japan, so that was out of the question.
Anyway, first I did what you did and got myself into a healthier mindset about eating - recognizing that restricting was bad, etc. and letting myself eat foods I'd banned myself from.
I gained about 5~7kg during that time (it took about 2 and a half years) and this year I started calorie counting again. I learned from the last few times that anything under 1400 calories a day set me up for failure, and I figured a loss is a loss, no matter how slow, and set my calories for 1500. I try to eat between 1400~1500 every day, not below (sometimes I screw up and eat less, but it's to do with time and laziness). If I go over a little bit, by like 50 or so, I don't worry.
On AT LEAST one day of the weekend (sometimes both) I don't count calories or log my foods. I don't let myself worry about what I'm eating. I don't like the idea of "cheating" or "cheat days" and I'm not approaching the day with the intention of eating unhealthily, or purposefully having a massive calorie binge. It's just a day when I can eat whatever I fancy, in moderation, and enjoy it without worrying if I'm going over the 1500 limit. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes it's Starbucks and burgers lol.
I weigh myself from once a week to as little as twice a month just to make sure I'm either losing or maintaining. And I agree about focusing on fitness rather than weight. When I was at my worst, I got upset if I didn't lose at least a little weight every day. Now I can go for a month with hardly a shift on the scale and not care, because "GUYS I RAN MY FASTEST 10K *EVER* LAST WEEK!!"
Now I'm obsessed with running (not the calories, even! Just the times, distance, fitness. I still like my numbers). The great thing about it is that it forces me to strength train (to up my endurance and minimize injury). And it also forces me to REST, at least twice a week, and to make sure I don't push myself beyond my boundaries because, like I said, I don't want to get injured.
I'm in a really good place right now, on my way to the healthiest weight for me, at a slow and manageable pace, with a sport I love but am not overdoing, and the best relationship I've had with food since I was (I kid you) not 6 years old.
Of course, I can only tell you what worked for me. No doubt you will need to find the best route for you. I think for a lot of ED sufferers, strength training is apparently quite helpful though? Serious restriction eats at your muscles, so the two just can't exist well together. 0 -
Hi there! I second the posts above about only monitoring the cals very closely if you feel like it doesn't effect you badly. I recovered from a BED a few months ago (which followed bouts of restriction and exercise bulimia, so I understand how you feel). I'd also suggest writing up a large list of meals which you know the rough calorie count of and can just choose on the spot. So for example have a book with ideas/recipes of all the meals which you usually eat (if you're like me, that's not a large variety lol), so you don't have to obsess over each tiny veggie. It's not ideal for weight loss, since it doesn't monitor the numbers closely, but it can work. My other recommendation would be patience. It took me months to realise that what I was doing was helping me, and I was feeling better/looking better. It takes our brain a while to catch on. 'Trust the process' is a phrase I often repeat to myself.0
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maifareed26 wrote: »Hey every body .i have an eating disorder i suffered from anorexia for 3 years then i started recovering in March 2015 i gained about 20 kilos until now (9 months) . i want to lose weight now ,but i don't know how i completely lost control .how can i do that .
The fact that you want to continue taking a SCAMWOO pill that doesn't work and is hurting your stomach because you believe it does work is a red flag to me that you're not in recovery at all...0 -
Calorie counting has moved me to a much healthier perspective. I am honest with myself rather than bouncing between over the top observance (I was a fan of liquid diets) and total denial of the amount of food I was taking in, which led to mindless eating.
I log everything now because I am never ashamed of what I eat or the choices I make. Not logging makes me feel as though I am hiding from reality and I have no need to hide. Daily weigh in's are data points - I choose to longer make them emotionally charged points of success or failure.
I find it interesting how my body reacts to different foods and how my energy levels change. Planning helps me to relax. If I have an idea of what I am going to eat for the day it is all sorted and I feel calm.
The biggest change for me has been not punishing myself for bad days (over exercising or cutting calories to compensate). Punishing was what always started the cycle. I don't mind saving up calories for a few days for a big weekend as saving up before feels very different to punishment after.
Good luck.0 -
LadyAbsynthe wrote: »To start with, please don't tell me to talk to a therapist/nutritionist/etc. because that's not really an option for financial reasons if nothing else. I also know that there probably aren't a lot of people here with eating disorders, but I'm going to bet that there are quite a few who have gone through stages of disordered eating or at least unhealthy relationships with food.
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
Hi there! What pulled me out of my eating disorder was educating myself on what harm I was doing to my body long term. I was also dealing with some immediate unpleasant side effects.
When I started focusing on being healthy and not just being thin... Things changed for me. For a period of time I was actually thinner being healthy than I was in the throes of my disorder.
Then life changed. Activity level changed. Eating habits changed. And I gained weight. When I realized how heavy I had gotten I felt tempted to go back to old habits. But since I'm older. A mother now. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my health. Ended up falling into some "woo" traps but that's for a different thread. lol.
Not too long ago I found mfp and my weight loss journey has forever been changed. I learned and started practicing CICO without crazy restrictions or rules and have been successful.
It's so freeing to realize you don't need an eating disorder to lose weight. I am sure you will get to that point as well. I wish you the best!0 -
Many colleges have counseling for students which mitigates/eliminates the financial burden (the specific reason stated for not recommending to talk to a therapist) and makes talking to a professional about losing weight in a healthy manner the most logical option.0
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Colleges also frequently have lots of FREE resources for those in recovery!0
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maifareed26 wrote: »Hey every body .i have an eating disorder i suffered from anorexia for 3 years then i started recovering in March 2015 i gained about 20 kilos until now (9 months) . i want to lose weight now ,but i don't know how i completely lost control .how can i do that .
Check back in with your treatment team.0 -
prettysoul1908 wrote: »LadyAbsynthe wrote: »To start with, please don't tell me to talk to a therapist/nutritionist/etc. because that's not really an option for financial reasons if nothing else. I also know that there probably aren't a lot of people here with eating disorders, but I'm going to bet that there are quite a few who have gone through stages of disordered eating or at least unhealthy relationships with food.
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
Hi there! What pulled me out of my eating disorder was educating myself on what harm I was doing to my body long term. I was also dealing with some immediate unpleasant side effects.
When I started focusing on being healthy and not just being thin... Things changed for me. For a period of time I was actually thinner being healthy than I was in the throes of my disorder.
Then life changed. Activity level changed. Eating habits changed. And I gained weight. When I realized how heavy I had gotten I felt tempted to go back to old habits. But since I'm older. A mother now. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my health. Ended up falling into some "woo" traps but that's for a different thread. lol.
Not too long ago I found mfp and my weight loss journey has forever been changed. I learned and started practicing CICO without crazy restrictions or rules and have been successful.
It's so freeing to realize you don't need an eating disorder to lose weight. I am sure you will get to that point as well. I wish you the best!
I agree with this. I'm also older and I'm trying to set a good, healthy example for my 7 year old niece. It's not about that number on the scale, but what your body can do.0 -
Hey, I suffered from COED as a teen and child, then from EDNOS/bulimia for about a year and a half in my early 20's before pulling myself out of it. I didn't go to a therapist - I live in Japan, so that was out of the question.
Anyway, first I did what you did and got myself into a healthier mindset about eating - recognizing that restricting was bad, etc. and letting myself eat foods I'd banned myself from.
I gained about 5~7kg during that time (it took about 2 and a half years) and this year I started calorie counting again. I learned from the last few times that anything under 1400 calories a day set me up for failure, and I figured a loss is a loss, no matter how slow, and set my calories for 1500. I try to eat between 1400~1500 every day, not below (sometimes I screw up and eat less, but it's to do with time and laziness). If I go over a little bit, by like 50 or so, I don't worry.
On AT LEAST one day of the weekend (sometimes both) I don't count calories or log my foods. I don't let myself worry about what I'm eating. I don't like the idea of "cheating" or "cheat days" and I'm not approaching the day with the intention of eating unhealthily, or purposefully having a massive calorie binge. It's just a day when I can eat whatever I fancy, in moderation, and enjoy it without worrying if I'm going over the 1500 limit. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes it's Starbucks and burgers lol.
I weigh myself from once a week to as little as twice a month just to make sure I'm either losing or maintaining. And I agree about focusing on fitness rather than weight. When I was at my worst, I got upset if I didn't lose at least a little weight every day. Now I can go for a month with hardly a shift on the scale and not care, because "GUYS I RAN MY FASTEST 10K *EVER* LAST WEEK!!"
Now I'm obsessed with running (not the calories, even! Just the times, distance, fitness. I still like my numbers). The great thing about it is that it forces me to strength train (to up my endurance and minimize injury). And it also forces me to REST, at least twice a week, and to make sure I don't push myself beyond my boundaries because, like I said, I don't want to get injured.
I'm in a really good place right now, on my way to the healthiest weight for me, at a slow and manageable pace, with a sport I love but am not overdoing, and the best relationship I've had with food since I was (I kid you) not 6 years old. Of course, I can only tell you what worked for me. No doubt you will need to find the best route for you. I think for a lot of ED sufferers, strength training is apparently quite helpful though? Serious restriction eats at your muscles, so the two just can't exist well together.
Having fitness goals versus weightloss goals is much better. Work on trying to lift heavier weights, or run a faster mile, swim longer distances. I did the running too, but I'm gonna start lifting weights in January. Want to get stronger arms and core so I can perfect advanced yoga poses.0 -
Hey, I suffered from COED as a teen and child, then from EDNOS/bulimia for about a year and a half in my early 20's before pulling myself out of it. I didn't go to a therapist - I live in Japan, so that was out of the question.
Anyway, first I did what you did and got myself into a healthier mindset about eating - recognizing that restricting was bad, etc. and letting myself eat foods I'd banned myself from.
I gained about 5~7kg during that time (it took about 2 and a half years) and this year I started calorie counting again. I learned from the last few times that anything under 1400 calories a day set me up for failure, and I figured a loss is a loss, no matter how slow, and set my calories for 1500. I try to eat between 1400~1500 every day, not below (sometimes I screw up and eat less, but it's to do with time and laziness). If I go over a little bit, by like 50 or so, I don't worry.
On AT LEAST one day of the weekend (sometimes both) I don't count calories or log my foods. I don't let myself worry about what I'm eating. I don't like the idea of "cheating" or "cheat days" and I'm not approaching the day with the intention of eating unhealthily, or purposefully having a massive calorie binge. It's just a day when I can eat whatever I fancy, in moderation, and enjoy it without worrying if I'm going over the 1500 limit. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes it's Starbucks and burgers lol.
I weigh myself from once a week to as little as twice a month just to make sure I'm either losing or maintaining. And I agree about focusing on fitness rather than weight. When I was at my worst, I got upset if I didn't lose at least a little weight every day. Now I can go for a month with hardly a shift on the scale and not care, because "GUYS I RAN MY FASTEST 10K *EVER* LAST WEEK!!"
Now I'm obsessed with running (not the calories, even! Just the times, distance, fitness. I still like my numbers). The great thing about it is that it forces me to strength train (to up my endurance and minimize injury). And it also forces me to REST, at least twice a week, and to make sure I don't push myself beyond my boundaries because, like I said, I don't want to get injured.
I'm in a really good place right now, on my way to the healthiest weight for me, at a slow and manageable pace, with a sport I love but am not overdoing, and the best relationship I've had with food since I was (I kid you) not 6 years old. Of course, I can only tell you what worked for me. No doubt you will need to find the best route for you. I think for a lot of ED sufferers, strength training is apparently quite helpful though? Serious restriction eats at your muscles, so the two just can't exist well together.
Having fitness goals versus weightloss goals is much better. Work on trying to lift heavier weights, or run a faster mile, swim longer distances. I did the running too, but I'm gonna start lifting weights in January. Want to get stronger arms and core so I can perfect advanced yoga poses.
Ya, I lift weights to have stronger arms for swimming and yoga.0 -
many support groups are free
there is a BED group and an Overeaters Anon group (which accepts anyone with food issues) and are not therapy. just like minded people striving to be their best selves.
colleges have great resources. community centers do as well.
contact your old team.0 -
hi everybody! i love this thread.
i had bulimia, followed by anorexia (binge-purge subtype), followed by bulimia, followed by anorexia (restricting subtype), from ages 17-24. after a few rounds of treatment, i've been in recovery for the last five years!
however, this past summer i was in treatment addressing a bunch of the underlying mental health issues that led to the ED, and ended up gaining 20 pounds... meds, sitting around all day in one big room, eating too much, etc. -- it got to me! once i finally realized and accepted just how much weight i had actually gained, i came back on MFP to lose the weight healthily. it's pretty hard though to find that balance.
there are quite a few of us on here though in recovery from various EDs. and i would love more friends here too, to support and be supported by! it's a tricky business, trying to lose weight but somehow not use behaviors or get insanely triggered.0 -
Pema Chodron is a popular western interpreter of Buddhist literature, her book "no time to lose" awakened me to realize that my self restriction and cyclical dieting was a form of selfishness, and "samsara" - or continuously doing the same things despite no change or end goal, and in focusing only on that samsara, losing my compassion for others. The book is not about food, its just about changing our "neurotic habits" to become more compassionate individuals.
Realizing that over restriction and obsession was not just damaging, but it was selfish, has been a really helpful way for me to rethink weight.0 -
I think you'll have to be careful even with fitness goals. For those with a past of ED, it becomes all to easy to veer into orthorexia and exercise bulimia. It's a very insidious side of the ED monster, because it masquerades as being health conscious, but takes on the same obsessive aspect. This is why therapy is such an important part of recovery, particularly if you're looking to lose; it's so easy to fall back into obsessive patterns.
If you live near a university, grad students in psych are often looking to make up counseling hours either for free or low cost. You might also see if there are community support centers or groups in your area where you can meet with others in recovery. Dial 2-1-1 (if you're in the US) and ask, or visit this website: http://www.211.org/0 -
LadyAbsynthe wrote: »To start with, please don't tell me to talk to a therapist/nutritionist/etc. because that's not really an option for financial reasons if nothing else. I also know that there probably aren't a lot of people here with eating disorders, but I'm going to bet that there are quite a few who have gone through stages of disordered eating or at least unhealthy relationships with food.
So, basically I was EDNOS for a year, bulimic for a couple of years, and anorexic for a year or so after that. I've been in recovery for a year and a half and gained about 50 pounds from my lowest weight. My relationship with food is pretty healthy right now, but I still sometimes eat too much when I'm not hungry or don't want it. Consequently, my weight is higher than I'd like it to be and some of my clothing doesn't fit properly. I'm not quite overweight, but my BMI is above average (which I know is *kitten*, but mine was always pretty low before my ED).
So, I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter now. But I have no experience of doing it the "healthy way", and it's... really hard. It's very hard to do it without obsessing and returning to my old patterns. It's almost impossible to find anything between restriction-purging-obsession and not-caring-at-all-and-totally-ignoring-it. Does anyone have any experience or advice?
My story is very similar to yours. I suffer from ednos and have for 15 years. I was very underweight for 10 years, finally gained weight but then wanted to loose a little to get to my ideal healthy weight. This was very hard to do without falling into old habits so my advice is to first make sure your mentally strong and prepared. Second i would try iifym. I found this helped alot. I found my macros needed to be at my desired weight and made sure to hit them everyday. By hit them i stress getting to the minimum or more, not going under.
My second peoce of advice is to focus more on how you feel and look than the number on the scale. I hardly ever step on the scale anymore. Its about how i feel in my cloths. Hope any of this helps0
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