Social Anxiety

I actually have the same issue and feel the same way -- the weird thing for me though is that it's a relatively recent issue. I'm fine at work with people I know and with clients but in outside social situations where I don't know people I'm extremely uncomfortable and clam up. I never had that issue until a few years ago. I was always extremely social.

noobletmcnugget wrote: »

headofphat wrote: »

The real answer is to just get drunk. Say bye bye to inhibitions.

That's my current coping strategy for parties. But since I don't particularly want to go down the road of day time drinking, it's not a good solution for 90% of social interactions.

It may seem like it it'll work for some time as long as you don't get out of hand with it, but eventually you might. I'm not entirely against the use of medications but it can be a blessing once you find something that works for you. Be aware though that if it's a scheduled narcotic of any kind like benzodiazepines (Alprazolam/Clonazepam/etc.), the risk of mental/physical dependency and eventually abuse will be there, thus a strict regimen under great medical supervision/monitoring is a MUST.

Now with meds, it is imperative to know that TALK therapy and such are just as important, if not more, to your well-being in the long run. Whether it's CBT/DBT-based, psych-dynamics, or a combination of many other types of talk therapy/exercises you can explore out there with a great trained professional, I can't stress how important these things are towards reaching your specific goal(s) of overcoming your anxiety and whatever else you may be having trouble with at this time. You'll learn much, much more effective coping mechanisms you can always utilize, because again, that Grey Goose mixed inside your Minute Made orange juice bottle there only worsens things in the long run.

It's likely that you will have breakthroughs and you're going to discover things (triggers/events/etc.) and uncover past matters you may have forgotten (PTSD and such) and some of that is going to hurt a bit, or more than a bit, but look at it as a "necessary" hurt or pain or wound that you found out was never healed in the first place, and is now being properly treated.

I don't care how strong your walls are that you've put up for yourself after whatever it is you may have gone through, but you've got to realize that you're not exactly "protecting" yourself from the harm that's out there, rather you're more like keeping whatever talents and unique gifts you have from being discovered and shared with people out there -- people who will love you for you.

OP, you look really young so it's important to know that at your age, these things are far more common than many of us care to believe. As you age, it's highly likely that you'll feel more comfortable with yourself. You'll be ok with how things are and KNOW that that beast they call self-criticism with its hand and sharp fingernails always crawling up the back of your spine for seemingly every second out of the day you're out there in public, WILL eventually subside. That comes with age.

From a personal standpoint, my anxiety issues culminated from being too self-critical. Whenever I'd make mistakes, I'd keep beating myself up for it. It was (and still is) hard for me to let go of things and mistakes I've made in the past, but I'm learning to cope with these matters better -- to accept that hey, maybe these matters and those mistakes were things I was supposed to make to become me. A better version of myself. And I'm totally good with that. These days, I'm less self-critical. I honestly do NOT give a flying Martha Stewart confetti fart fawk about what others may say or believe or think about me these days anymore, unless it's something that's going to interfere with my profession/family/etc. I'll act like a fool and a dumba$$ as long as it's all in good fun. I'm no longer as angry as I used to be as well, and trust me it WAS horrible back in the day. I beat the F out a dude (one of these "internet tough guys/bullies" who hide behind computer screens and project themselves unto others) and nearly broke his spine and I lost so much and paid so much in life for it at the time. That was years ago though. I've more than "paid my dues" and redeemed/proven myself for well... not only only everyone that I love, but most importantly myself since then.

The alcoholism lingered on for years though, because even though I may have done well in other areas in my life, I still did not have the right tools to deal/cope with all of the guilt and anger and regret and all of these emotional entanglements I had within me from incidents that happened in the past. It was just too hard for me to stop thinking about that "what ifs" and the "could have been this or that" matters. But yeah, that's all water under the bridge now.

And oh yeah, having an awesome family/support system is most important.

OP, you'll start to learn to love yourself. It's sort of like untangling a knotted rope and tying it up a tree and instead of tying the bottom end of it it around your neck, why not just grab on to that rope with your bare hands and swing and go "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

That's life for me these days