Advice for someone who hates exercise?
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nytoco
Posts: 18 Member
Hi all. I'm a newbie to this whole fitness thing, but not really. I've started, and stopped, many a workout routine. The longest time I've ever stuck with one was 4 months, maybe, if I'm being generous to myself. I know I need to work out regularly because I'm now slightly overweight and I hate it so much, and every time I start a routine the pounds start falling off my body so clearly they aren't supposed to be there. But my problem is - and I know it's stupid - I really, really hate working out.
Here's a list of what I dislike the most about exercise, in no particular order:
• Makes you sweaty and out of breath
• You have to prepare to go do it, which takes extra time
• Takes a while to see results
• Often boring
• Can be painful (I like running but I get terrible shin splints, even when buying shoes made for my feet)
But the biggest thing for me is:
• I feel "trapped" in my body when I do it.
When I work out, I feel fatter, lazier, and less accomplished than I did before. I know it's stupid, but the fact that I'm out of shape makes me feel less motivated. Sometimes I have to stop a workout to sit down and cry because I feel so disgusted with myself, especially now that I'm at an all-time high body weight. It's so counterproductive - shouldn't working out make me feel fit and proud? - but I just can't go on, and I end up crying in front of my mirror pinching at all my rolls.
I like dancing, but I feel so awkward in my body when I try. I like Pilates and yoga, but I feel fat and inflexible. I like swimming, but I feel ashamed of the way my body looks in a swimsuit.
Does anyone have advice on overcoming these hurdles and getting used to a routine?
(By the way - I'm a college student and I'm broke. I need something that doesn't cost money.)
Thanks.
Here's a list of what I dislike the most about exercise, in no particular order:
• Makes you sweaty and out of breath
• You have to prepare to go do it, which takes extra time
• Takes a while to see results
• Often boring
• Can be painful (I like running but I get terrible shin splints, even when buying shoes made for my feet)
But the biggest thing for me is:
• I feel "trapped" in my body when I do it.
When I work out, I feel fatter, lazier, and less accomplished than I did before. I know it's stupid, but the fact that I'm out of shape makes me feel less motivated. Sometimes I have to stop a workout to sit down and cry because I feel so disgusted with myself, especially now that I'm at an all-time high body weight. It's so counterproductive - shouldn't working out make me feel fit and proud? - but I just can't go on, and I end up crying in front of my mirror pinching at all my rolls.
I like dancing, but I feel so awkward in my body when I try. I like Pilates and yoga, but I feel fat and inflexible. I like swimming, but I feel ashamed of the way my body looks in a swimsuit.
Does anyone have advice on overcoming these hurdles and getting used to a routine?
(By the way - I'm a college student and I'm broke. I need something that doesn't cost money.)
Thanks.
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Replies
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Hi,
Just saw this. Its really interesting. I am adding you on MFP. You are so honest and I think that is so great. I am heartbroken that you are beating yourself up!
First piece of advice is:
"When I work out, I feel fatter, lazier, and less accomplished than I did before. I know it's stupid, but the fact that I'm out of shape makes me feel less motivated. Sometimes I have to stop a workout to sit down and cry because I feel so disgusted with myself, especially now that I'm at an all-time high body weight. It's so counterproductive - shouldn't working out make me feel fit and proud? - but I just can't go on, and I end up crying in front of my mirror pinching at all my rolls."
STOP THAT! ^
That is LETHAL to your success. You CAN stop doing that. You CAN. Next time you do that, look at your EYES in the mirror and speak sternly but lovingly to yourself that self-talk like that is the stuff of downward spirals.
Second piece:
Set a tiny fitness goal. A tiny one. AND DON"T MAKE FUN OF IT. GEEZE. Don't be looking in the mirror making fun of your goal. Who's side are you on?!
Third:
Try FitnessBlender.com - the "trainers" are sooo nice. They take off a lot of the pressure/intensity that so many Jillian Michaels and Shawn T characters (who are also great) put on people. Just make a fitness blender account and its all FREE. There are little $10 or $8 programs available but they have HUNDREDS of easy-medium-hard videos that you can do. They have 20 minute ones that are geared to making beginners succeed, etc.
Listen, are you sure you aren't getting frustrated because you're like going going going as fast as you can until you burn out after 4 minutes? Is that possible? I am imagining if that is the case than maybe you could slow down and take it at a medium pace, then get all the way through a 20 minute video or something.
Maybe your goal (ahem, see Second piece, above) could be doing one of those short Fitness blender videos 2 times this week. Like, don't make it a "lose two pounds" goal, make it a "finish the workout" goal. And then take it slow and work through the video at the pace you CAN. Even if you take 12 breaks! That is still accomplishing your goal. K?
Good.0 -
OP, I totally get what you you are saying. I have felt exactly as you described before (and sometimes still feel this way!).
First of all, do something you like. I always thought I should be a runner, but I hate running. However I find that I really enjoy walking, so I started walking a half mile a day. The best type of work out is a workout that you will do. I have Jillian Michaels DVDs and T25. I find them to be a bit too intense for my fitness level. However I enjoy the Leslie Sansone DVDs and look forward to doing them. Again, find an exercise you enjoy and that you will do.
With that start small. Weather permitting, I take a lot of walks and that is the form of exercise I choose to do. When it comes to bad weather, I set a goal to do a workout DVD once a week. After 4 weeks I then said I would do a workout DVD twice a week, etc, etc.
I'm not sure everyone will agree with me, but I truly believe that when you are first starting out you should be more focused on forming the habit of working out vs killing yourself with workouts you don't like or doing too much at once.
Good luck!0 -
Why not instead of looking at it as exercise find something you enjoy be that baseball basket ball karate or ball room dancing and then "I'm doing this for me and my enjoyment." Then it becomes something you look forward to each week instead of the downer that exercise is for you.0
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You said you liked dancing. Go do a zumba class. Those are fun and I promise you, no one is looking at you, everyone is more concerned about how they look.0
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I hate exercise and going to the gym too. So I walk, and walk and walk some more. It's easy, you can do it anywhere anytime and it's free.
Check out my diary if you want to see how many calories you can burn just by walking.0 -
It doesn't sound to me as if you really hate exercise. I see lots of likes of different activities within your post. Start slow, as you lose weight you will feel more confident, maybe more graceful, your shins may take less pounding and you will start to enjoy the things you like more. Once again, start slow, focus on diet.0
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But the biggest thing for me is:
• I feel "trapped" in my body when I do it.
When I work out, I feel fatter, lazier, and less accomplished than I did before. I know it's stupid, but the fact that I'm out of shape makes me feel less motivated. Sometimes I have to stop a workout to sit down and cry because I feel so disgusted with myself, especially now that I'm at an all-time high body weight. It's so counterproductive - shouldn't working out make me feel fit and proud? - but I just can't go on, and I end up crying in front of my mirror pinching at all my rolls.
I like dancing, but I feel so awkward in my body when I try. I like Pilates and yoga, but I feel fat and inflexible. I like swimming, but I feel ashamed of the way my body looks in a swimsuit.
You say you hate exercise, but that you like dancing, pilates, yoga, and swimming. What you hate is you beating yourself up!
When you do yoga, you feel fat an inflexible. Compared to what? the yogi? We're all fat and inflexible compared to the yogi. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is your self from yesterday. Whatever it is you want to do, you'll get better at with practice and consistency.
I agree with all @MaVieEntiere points. You must exercise without judgment and practice some self-compassion. The next time you're in front of the mirror, being a bully to yourself, pinching your rolls, turn it into a goal/affirmation. Add something positive about yourself. i.e. "I love that my body lets me practice yoga... AND I'm going to work on these rolls" Make sure you use "AND" and not "BUT".
It's great that you already know what you like to do. Fitnessblender has a bunch of free pilates/yoga videos. Like others have said, exercise is phenomenal, but start with diet to lose weight.0 -
I think it took a lot of courage to say what you've said, and to ask for help.• Makes you sweaty and out of breath
• Can be painful (I like running but I get terrible shin splints, even when buying shoes made for my feet)I like dancing, but I feel so awkward in my body when I try. I like Pilates and yoga, but I feel fat and inflexible. I like swimming, but I feel ashamed of the way my body looks in a swimsuit.
If you have regular shin splints, get that looked at, first of all.
I am going to go against the grain and suggest that if your body shame is as intense as you're saying it is, maybe not bother with swim or dance for now - just for a couple of months. You can still make progress with other things that don't push six kinds of buttons at the same time.
I think that once you get more active, and more used to moving, doing anything, dancing etc. will feel less scary. Maybe you'll have made enough progress to reduce some of those shame feelings. One thing at a time, I think.
So +1 to walking. Outside would be good; on a treadmill in a gym, there's usually a fan (pick the treadmill by the fan). Get a water bottle that can hold ice, bring a little towel.
Do a graduated walking plan, don't mess around with your feet, that can throw you off for 1-2 years. Google "beginner's walking plan", pick one. Once your shins are dealt with.• Often boring
Music is the answer. Spotify radio & playlists. Podcasts (although talk programmes might slow you down some). Do other stuff on your phone while you're there (planning via to-do list, whatever). There are playlists that are programmed to particular walking intervals, too, to keep you going.• You have to prepare to go do it, which takes extra time
1. Gym - pick the one that's as close as possible + cheapest.Campus gym; community rec centre; cheap commercial gym - the $10 a month one, I forget; the Y. City/community gym & Y, maybe your campus gym will probably have means-tested subsidies. Ask the gym manager (email first if you want). Good thing: no one's judging at these places.
3. Clothes - put 5-7 gym outfits together to switch up day to day. Nothing bright or tight that will call attention to you. Loose pants and a loose T-shirt that let you breathe. Old Navy or thrift store. Once a week you wash your gym clothes,you have a drawer for gym clothes, then you have them ready to go for the week.
Keep your gym bag and lock right by the door so you can just cram your stuff in the bag and go.• Takes a while to see results
Yeah, it will just take a bit of time. I suggest you not think about results too much and try to just get into feeling good about what you're doing. Guaranteed that after 1-2 months, you are going to love how you feel after a session. At the very least, you should get a little mood boost and sleep better.But the biggest thing for me is:
• I feel "trapped" in my body when I do it.
When I work out, I feel fatter, lazier, and less accomplished than I did before. I know it's stupid, but the fact that I'm out of shape makes me feel less motivated. Sometimes I have to stop a workout to sit down and cry because I feel so disgusted with myself, especially now that I'm at an all-time high body weight. It's so counterproductive - shouldn't working out make me feel fit and proud? - but I just can't go on, and I end up crying in front of my mirror pinching at all my rolls.
If you go to a gym, notice how many other people also have bodies at high weights, who are also fighting, the same way you are. You wouldn't bash them, right? And you can see that you're not alone.
You don't look like how you feel you should look. You didn't grow up with a big body, and it feels alien. You're in dissonance - you're split from your body and and are investing it with a lot of hate.
So crazy answer: I think you should just try to not think about it. Sounds facile, right? Yeah. Don't think about it. Don't identify with your body, don't hate it. Try to forget it.
Dress in a way that makes you feel not TOO bad - in a way that helps you mask what you want masked while keeping you cool, so you don't have to think too much about it, and get to work. Consistent work will get you where you want to go.
Avoid spending a lot of time in front of mirrors for now, other than for the time it takes to do your hair and see if your outfits make sense. Focus on what it feels like to walk and do things, not what your body looks like. Don't look at your rolls. Don't tug at them, for sure - use your arms to swing when you walk.
tl;dr
1. Loose clothes
2. Instead of thinking about your body, focus your attention on something else - the music, the podcast, the rhythm of your feet and your heart, the sound of birds and all that if you go outside. Not your body.0 -
I started with 30 day shred but wish I discovered fitnessblender first
I did my exercises at home In my under crackers so could start, pause, resume as I please
You will be surprised what you can accomplish if you just start with 20 mins of trying your best each day
I have cursed gillian for making me do a burpee whilst obese but now I am proud of myself
I agree that exercise is boring and sweat is nasty esp when drips into eyes and mouth, but the long term results are worth sticking with it. The pain does get better as you get fitter but if persistent speak to doctor
I wish you all the best and know you will suceed.0 -
You are only 18. Forget exercise for the sake of losing weight or getting fit, focus on activities that you actually like or you will never make a habit out of it: Find a sport you like, join a class (maybe zumba if you like dancing?), start a beginner's runner program, go to the pool.
As for not looking good, realistically, the average 18 year old (even with several extra pounds) looks better than the average middle-aged person, you have age on your side, even if you cannot see it right now. I know it is not obvious to you, because I have been once your age, and like most of teenagers I focused on the negative, but there is no way you look half as bad as you think. Get clothes that fit properly (including underwear that fit properly), and get moving and having fun.0 -
I actually like to exercise and would say don't force it. To lose weight, you just have to consume less calories than you burn overall. Exercise can help you burn more calories but is not needed for weight loss
That said, if you like to dance, do yoga or Pilates there are unlimited options on YouTube and you can try those things in the privacy of your own home, regardless of how you look or feel. I agree with fitness just for fitness' sakes at this point, turn off the pressure and just try to enjoy doing something that's good for yourself
As for boredom, I've actually preferred group fitness classes for the better part of the last several years, but I do have to pay a gym membership to take those. If you think they could help you have fun or be consistent, you may wish to review some options in your area that could fit within your budget, or otherwise find a way to fund those activities0 -
I am in the same boat and I used to exercise a lot more but ONLY linked to practical things like cycling to work or walking an extra bus stop when I need to go somewhere. I really hate how exercise makes me feel and I personally think it's a lot more important to keep moving all day than having 3 hardcore workout sessions a week. The only reason for workouts IMO is to build muscle and get more toned but I am happy to just lose the weight for now. I did HIT exercises, fitness classes and other hipster stuff and I hated, hated, hated it. Probably also because they push you to the limit which I think is ok for people who like that sort of stuff but I don't find it enjoyable and never have this exercise high that other people are talking about. So I walk a lot (We moved to a very hilly place and am note sure yet about cycling but I will take it up again in springtime)
Also, in the past there weren't gyms - People worked their calories off. Only office jobs turned us into little piglets. It's not unusual that you feel the way you feel cause I don't think we were designed to get sweating on a treadmill for 30 minutes, we are supposed to move ALL day. So I leave the house 15 minutes earlier to walk an extra 2 tram stops and I do the same thing when I come home. I try to walk around the office and walk during lunchtime. And of course I watch what I put into my mouth. Once that weight comes off, you might feel more comfortable about hitting the gym for muscle gain and toning.0 -
First off, what you’re feeling is perfectly natural. And you can overcome it if you put your mind to it.
You do not have to exercise to lose fat. Fat loss comes from what and how much you eat. We exercise to make other fitness improvements (strength, endurance, cardiovascular, balance, mobility, speed, agility, etc.). You can start out walking. Any movement is good movement. You can also workout at home until you feel more comfortable with a program.
In my podcast scheduled for tomorrow, I am profiling a guy that lost 300lbs without exercise (because he couldn’t). Yes, it is easier if you exercise, but exercise because you want to be stronger and be able to do the things you love longer. Look for a why and then you’ll have a reason to commit to a program and stick with it.
Allan Misner
NASM Certified Personal Trainer (Corrective Exercise Specialist, Fitness Nutrition Specialist)0 -
Wow, I really didn't expect this many responses when I posted this - thank you so much for all the advice and kind words.
I do try to eat healthy and I don't need many calories or much food at all, seeing as I'm quite short. But what bothers me about diet is that it's so, so easy to lose track of how many chips you ate, or to get an extra slice of cake and set yourself 400 calories behind, etc. It's just not very forgiving and losing weight just through eating healthier moves at a snail's pace for me, I have a pretty slow metabolism so I've found I have to combine eating less with exercising or it'll take the weight 10 times as long to come off.
As for what I can do to exercise - campus gym is a possibility, but even with music, I really hate the gym and associate it with negative things. I could always go just once a week or something so I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to go every day.
I have done Zumba and it's really fun, my school offers some group fitness classes and I plan to do Zumba once a week next semester and beginner level ballet twice a week. I could also add running once a week, and that would be 5 days of exercise, it's just that I have the tendency to talk myself out of it because of my low self-esteem. I think part of my issue is that I'm a perfectionist, so I tell myself that working out isn't even worth it if I know I'm going to be bad at it.
I think if I can overcome my negative mindsets (which result from over a decade of beating myself up over being unathletic, even when I was the skinniest kid in my class) I can achieve new levels of fitness and the weight loss will be an added bonus.0 -
Wow, I really didn't expect this many responses when I posted this - thank you so much for all the advice and kind words.
I do try to eat healthy and I don't need many calories or much food at all, seeing as I'm quite short. But what bothers me about diet is that it's so, so easy to lose track of how many chips you ate, or to get an extra slice of cake and set yourself 400 calories behind, etc. It's just not very forgiving and losing weight just through eating healthier moves at a snail's pace for me, I have a pretty slow metabolism so I've found I have to combine eating less with exercising or it'll take the weight 10 times as long to come off.
As for what I can do to exercise - campus gym is a possibility, but even with music, I really hate the gym and associate it with negative things. I could always go just once a week or something so I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to go every day.
I have done Zumba and it's really fun, my school offers some group fitness classes and I plan to do Zumba once a week next semester and beginner level ballet twice a week. I could also add running once a week, and that would be 5 days of exercise, it's just that I have the tendency to talk myself out of it because of my low self-esteem. I think part of my issue is that I'm a perfectionist, so I tell myself that working out isn't even worth it if I know I'm going to be bad at it.
I think if I can overcome my negative mindsets (which result from over a decade of beating myself up over being unathletic, even when I was the skinniest kid in my class) I can achieve new levels of fitness and the weight loss will be an added bonus.
Unless you plan to have an overall far more active lifestyle, like walking or using a bike for a few hours per day, or you plan to spend hours on the gym daily, you will have to rely on diet changes for weight loss. It is impossible to outrun a bad diet, at least without changing completely your physical activity level (general "you", not you "you").
And, unless you are hypothyroid and untreated (in which case you need a dr appointment), you do not have a slow metabolism, there are no slow and fast metabolisms.0 -
Wow, I really didn't expect this many responses when I posted this - thank you so much for all the advice and kind words.
I do try to eat healthy and I don't need many calories or much food at all, seeing as I'm quite short. But what bothers me about diet is that it's so, so easy to lose track of how many chips you ate, or to get an extra slice of cake and set yourself 400 calories behind, etc. It's just not very forgiving and losing weight just through eating healthier moves at a snail's pace for me, I have a pretty slow metabolism so I've found I have to combine eating less with exercising or it'll take the weight 10 times as long to come off.
As for what I can do to exercise - campus gym is a possibility, but even with music, I really hate the gym and associate it with negative things. I could always go just once a week or something so I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to go every day.
I have done Zumba and it's really fun, my school offers some group fitness classes and I plan to do Zumba once a week next semester and beginner level ballet twice a week. I could also add running once a week, and that would be 5 days of exercise, it's just that I have the tendency to talk myself out of it because of my low self-esteem. I think part of my issue is that I'm a perfectionist, so I tell myself that working out isn't even worth it if I know I'm going to be bad at it.
I think if I can overcome my negative mindsets (which result from over a decade of beating myself up over being unathletic, even when I was the skinniest kid in my class) I can achieve new levels of fitness and the weight loss will be an added bonus.
Then maybe it's time to change the voice in your head? Instead of saying "I'm bad at this so it's not worth it," try saying "I go to this class and I get better at __ while having fun."0 -
Wow, I really didn't expect this many responses when I posted this - thank you so much for all the advice and kind words.
I do try to eat healthy and I don't need many calories or much food at all, seeing as I'm quite short. But what bothers me about diet is that it's so, so easy to lose track of how many chips you ate, or to get an extra slice of cake and set yourself 400 calories behind, etc. It's just not very forgiving and losing weight just through eating healthier moves at a snail's pace for me, I have a pretty slow metabolism so I've found I have to combine eating less with exercising or it'll take the weight 10 times as long to come off.
As for what I can do to exercise - campus gym is a possibility, but even with music, I really hate the gym and associate it with negative things. I could always go just once a week or something so I don't feel like I'm forcing myself to go every day.
I have done Zumba and it's really fun, my school offers some group fitness classes and I plan to do Zumba once a week next semester and beginner level ballet twice a week. I could also add running once a week, and that would be 5 days of exercise, it's just that I have the tendency to talk myself out of it because of my low self-esteem. I think part of my issue is that I'm a perfectionist, so I tell myself that working out isn't even worth it if I know I'm going to be bad at it.
I think if I can overcome my negative mindsets (which result from over a decade of beating myself up over being unathletic, even when I was the skinniest kid in my class) I can achieve new levels of fitness and the weight loss will be an added bonus.
Five days is actually a lot! I do three (though there are usually two hour sessions in there). Sounds like a great plan - since you want to exercise, just get moving, do something!
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First, you need to stop beating yourself up. Think positive thoughts, instead of, I can't do this or I hate how I look think, I'm going to be so much better at this next month and I'm going to feel better, or look better. Once you've been going at it for a while you can think about how far you've come instead of how far you have to go.
Second, find an exercise you like. Go into things with an open mind and assume nobody is judging you (because frankly, they probably aren't as they're too busy focusing on their own workout). You don't like to sweat, ok, do yoga or lift weights. You'll sweat a bit in those things but you won't sweat like crazy. Though, you may learn to love getting sweaty. I like getting sweaty now...And you talk about not wanting to do stuff because you'd be bad at it...things like yoga and weight lifting are a competition against yourself. That's why those are my two favourite things to do for exercise. I'm HORRIBLE at team sports (I seriously cannot throw a ball to save my life) but when I'm doing those exercises I'm not worried about letting myself down or being bad at it. It's all about getting better. If you decide to go to the gym, lift weights in a progressive overload structured program, this will help you get better results and it allows you to track your progress better. I do stronglifts 5x5 and there's an app on my phone that tracks it all for me so I can actually see how far I've come.
Third, exercise is for FITNESS, a deficit is for weight loss. Remember that. So back to the second point...find an exercise you love because you want to get better at it and feel better, don't look at it from a weight loss perspective.
And finally, good luck on your journey. Sometimes it takes us a while to get into the swing of things and what works best for us. I hope you find that soon and I hope you learn to be kind to yourself on the journey.0 -
You don't NEED to exercise to lose weight, however if there is something you actually like to do for physical activity..................do it at YOUR LEVEL of capability and don't worry about what others are doing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Exercise gets much more tolerable the more you do it. It will still always suck in my book but it gets better. The self-loathing and uncomfortable feelings you experience now when you work out will start to go away and exercise starts to feel happier as it becomes second nature.
It doesn't contribute that much to weight loss, like others said, but you will feel so much better the more you do it that it is more than worth it. The biggest motivator for me to always do my workouts is that I know they will only be harder the next time if I get in the habit of skipping.
It does get easier. I used to barely be able to string together 2 workouts in the same week but eventually got into a good routine I've been able to stick to for the past 7 years. Find things you don't hate, but also accept that you may never love exercise either. I don't! But the after-feeling is worth it.0
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