I am so lost.

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  • AbsoluteTara79
    AbsoluteTara79 Posts: 266 Member
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    This stuff happens. What is the smallest step in the right direction that you can take? Skip an iced coffee? Log a day, a meal? Take a 10 minute walk? Do anything small that gets you moving in the right direction even if it feels insignificant. Small wins stack up and beget bigger wins.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Life happens.

    How do you start over? Start by simply logging everything you eat. everyday, no matter what. Things start falling into place after that point. But the start is logging.
  • roullmann
    roullmann Posts: 12 Member
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    First, go to your doctor and get a full physical and then have yourself evaluated for depression. I have been where you are and I have depression. I work with an excellent doctor and manage my depression with meds. Second, write everything down via MFP because it really does give you a good picture of what you are eating. Third, consider a program like HMR (Health Maintenance Resources) because you will learn a great deal about yourself and your eating and exercise habits. Fourth, keep moving even if you do short, 10-minute bouts at a time.
    Lastly, please, please stop beating yourself up for this because it does nothing to help you. Stay connected with all of us here on the boards and we'll help you get through this tough time. Hugs to you.
  • Beaupeep
    Beaupeep Posts: 11 Member
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    Just the fact that it bothers you means that you want to do something, just the fact that you are reaching out for encouragement and support means you most likely will do something. Skip the Dunkins though girlie! I am a New Englander now living in Europe so don't have my worst temptations around me daily (fried clams, fudge) but I somehow managed to put back 15 of the 35 lbs that I lost which is discouraging. But I still log in every single bite of food every day and have for the past four years and seeing that bottom line in red has been a real kick in the butt. You can start over again, just treat yourself to the DD iced coffee once a week. Once you start the day with a sugar rush, I think it is hard to stop. I am like you - pass the chocolate and sugar - hold the veg.
  • Jewels_Ka
    Jewels_Ka Posts: 67 Member
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    You are in the right place. These are the right people you surround yourself with. Most of us go through similar challenges. You are DEFINATELY not alone! That's why I Love MFP. When I loose my way I look at success stories and they motivate me. I do that almost on weekly bases. Whether you are ready to start again or not the success stories will get you there. I get inspired by them all. I also noticed that in the winter I get all sunshine deprived and because it gets really cold sometimes I go fake and bake (tan). I don't suggest you go and do it. Simple walk in the sun would work just as well. Get your mood up and get come calmness in your heart. You can do it. You know how to do it. So find time to put yourself first just for a little bit, and maybe 3,4 times a week.
  • JanetMMcC
    JanetMMcC Posts: 410 Member
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    What Elsinora said. :)

    And if you're not logging your food, start there.
    Find a free pedometer app for your phone (if you have an iPhone 5 or later, it has a built-in step counter). For your early goals, just go for more steps than the day before.

    For menu ideas, check out the blog here. I mean, you're here already, so you don't have to go far. :)
    A few recent postings:
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/16-must-make-recipes-for-2016-under-375-calories/
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/10-quick-dinner-stir-fry-recipes-under-280-calories/?native_client=1
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/15-most-popular-recipes-of-2015/?native_client=1

    when you see your primary, you might also ask if you're clinically depressed.

    You gained six pounds in a month? Maybe just losing those six pounds should be your first goal. Or losing three of them. In "Bird by Bird," a book about writing, Anne Lamott talks about a one-inch frame: You don't have to write an entire book at once. Instead, narrow your focus to what you can see in a one-inch frame, and write about that.

    You can do it. Me, I'm 63 and only now feel I've got my weight under control. You can do it sooner. <<hugs>>

  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    cwagar123 wrote: »
    One thing that may be helpful for the next few days is to stop beating yourself up... but use this week as a time just to look at it. Not act, not react... but collect data... start a new habit. Without restricting just get used to logging and logging EVERYTHING! and just look at it... without selfhate or shame.... just look at it and then start making little changes. That helped me.

    This is good advice, I think.

    I lost 95 lbs, mostly in 2014, and this is basically what worked for me. Trying to get past the emotional response and just looking at it practically, and not beating myself up. Realizing that I wouldn't be perfect but that I could make choices that would help instill habits that would result in weight loss. Logging and adding in exercise gradually, without trying to do it in a punishing or extreme way. I started in Jan '14, when it was really cold where I live, and my initial goal for exercise was just to walk whenever possible (I am in a city which makes that easier) and to go to the gym and ride the stationary bike 3x/week for 30 minutes at a light setting. Not much, but something that I wouldn't burn out on. I started increasing that and adding in things and by the time the weather improved enough to run outside I was able to run 3 miles and kept going with that until exercise was something that I looked forward to and expected as part of my day. I thought through my diet and tracked and was able to make small changes that eliminated mindless calories without it feeling difficult or dealing with deprivation. For me getting in a habit of eating only at regular meals (no snacking) helped, but people will all have their own ways of dealing.

    I was feeling pretty down when I started, and one thing that shocked me was how much better I felt even before I'd lost much weight, just because I felt more in control of what I was doing and had a plan, and because I was focusing on my goals and not on beating myself up.
  • CatherineElizabeth13
    CatherineElizabeth13 Posts: 212 Member
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    I think most of us on here have felt that level of demotivation, hopelessness and cant-be-bothered-ness. It's almost impossible to be motivated when every ounce of yourself is fighting it. I'be been in an unbearable slump for a long time. Hating myself for how good I used to look and what ive let myself become.
    It was only when we decided to set a date for our wedding that I was hit with the reality of being a big bride. No way.

    You need to find something that makes you really fight. If you want a motivation buddy, feel free to add me :)
  • kimmie373
    kimmie373 Posts: 57 Member
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    JanetMMcC wrote: »
    What Elsinora said. :)

    And if you're not logging your food, start there.
    Find a free pedometer app for your phone (if you have an iPhone 5 or later, it has a built-in step counter). For your early goals, just go for more steps than the day before.

    For menu ideas, check out the blog here. I mean, you're here already, so you don't have to go far. :)
    A few recent postings:
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/16-must-make-recipes-for-2016-under-375-calories/
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/10-quick-dinner-stir-fry-recipes-under-280-calories/?native_client=1
    http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/15-most-popular-recipes-of-2015/?native_client=1

    when you see your primary, you might also ask if you're clinically depressed.

    You gained six pounds in a month? Maybe just losing those six pounds should be your first goal. Or losing three of them. In "Bird by Bird," a book about writing, Anne Lamott talks about a one-inch frame: You don't have to write an entire book at once. Instead, narrow your focus to what you can see in a one-inch frame, and write about that.

    You can do it. Me, I'm 63 and only now feel I've got my weight under control. You can do it sooner. <<hugs>>

  • wineroom
    wineroom Posts: 12 Member
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    Wow....you broke my heart with your post. We have all been where you are right now. Do not look at the whole entire battle....go for one little step at a time. I know it seems impossible but get through the morning, then the afternoon and finally the nite....one day or even one minute at a time. Try and keep trying weems like a lot of nice people here who can provide some support for you. Take care and God bless.
  • kimmie373
    kimmie373 Posts: 57 Member
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    Hi, I've been lost many times. Found myself again and got lost again. What a journey. There are times I'm so disappointed or even disgusted with bad choices I've made. Looking at photos is depressing when I see what I look like; but in my head I am still the skinny me. I have a different outlook on life now though. Life is too short to beat yourself up over failures. Find the joys. I have a terminal cancer and that will certainly make you reflect on what's important. I weigh 285 pounds now on a 5'4" tall body. I remember when I weighed 180 pounds (10 years ago) and worked hard and got down to 150. Oh, if only to be 180 again. I'll settle for 200, 220, 250 at this point. Looking at the whole picture is overwhelming so I say we should start with smaller goals. Be proud of what we do get accomplished. One step at a time. I'm starting my daily journal, drink more water, and walk more. These are my goals.

    I have wanted to give up on weight loss many times but have come to the conclusion I can't give up. You can't give up. I will not give up on myself. I will pick myself up and try again. One day at a time.

    Good luck!!
    Kim
  • FabianMommy
    FabianMommy Posts: 78 Member
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    First, hugs to you! I have also been in your shoes and what I have learned is that sugar can be terribly addictive. If I have even a bit of added sugar, I can't stop craving and eating it, thus I kept failing. Once I cut it out altogether, the cravings stopped and I could manage my eating so much better. There is more than enough added sugar in many foods without adding more, it really isn't good for us. Now, I adore sugar, cakes, puddings, candy - you name it, but it was what was controlling me and I couldn't stop eating it or anything else carby. Try a week without adding sugar or having sugary drinks like your iced coffee or candy and see how you feel? It was a game changer for me. Plus keep logging everything you eat, you can do this but stay off your trigger - sugar - and give yourself a fighting chance!
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    FabianMommy wrote: »

    OP didn't say sugar was her trigger, she didn't even mention sugar I don't think. She already has a restricted diet due to Celiac's. Please don't turn this nice woman's post into a sugar argument.
  • mish26
    mish26 Posts: 60 Member
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    I just want to address the walking ladies and what you said about them not losing weight. Maybe they aren't trying to. Maybe it's social for them. Maybe it's their chance for time away from their lives, just chatting with each other. Good for them. Even if they aren't thinner, I'm certain they're healthier, both mentally and physically.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    join the club, we have all felt like that. Yep those ladies are probably just being social. Like the others have said log your calories. I just keep reminding myself I want to fit in my clothes so I say Stop It!
  • KathyApplebaum
    KathyApplebaum Posts: 188 Member
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    It's absolutely fine to start back on your journey with baby steps. As others have said, one half a**ed walk is better than none. My motto is I only need to beat two people when I run -- the person who stayed at home on the couch, and the person I was a month ago.

    And that half a**ed walk will help SO much with the depression (btdt). And stress -- that's what got me back on track. I work full time and am working on my Master's. The stress was so bad I was crying myself to sleep, and it was either start back with cardio or quit school. Luckily I made the right choice, and eating healthy soon followed. I realized I worked too hard to run off 300 calories, and I sure wasn't going to blow that on something that was gone in a couple of bites.

    You can definitely do it. It's taken me three sprints, but I've lost 90 pounds from my heaviest, with only 18 more to go. I've gone from the half a**ed walk once every few weeks to training for a half marathon and riding a century. (And even with a year of consistent running under my belt, the hardest part every day is putting my shoes on and getting my b*tt out the door). It's just one day, one hour at a time.
  • WKenL
    WKenL Posts: 64 Member
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    I hear you. Ups and downs happen. Life gets hectic with the kids (I have five), it's tough to log things. Miss a day, have a bad week ... yep. Been there, done that. Currently getting back on track from Relapse #5 or so ... .

    Not sure what to offer for help. It sounds like you already know the issues. Do the best you can. Get some people around who appreciate you and want to support you. It is really tough to start back at the beginning after making so much progress, but you can do it.

    I was close to 300 pounds when I decided to begin losing weight. Through ups and downs, I'm at about 250 right now (and not happy that it's that high ... I was in striking distance of 200 a couple of years ago).

    But it can be done. Start logging. Walk. Do what you can. There's not much else to it ... Even if I could send you strength, I'm not sure that I could afford to.

    Blessings.
  • ShashayLee
    ShashayLee Posts: 178 Member
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    a lot of great advice has been said. Please hang in there for you & for your family. I can relate to much of your post & the posts of others. If you need a buddy, feel free to add me. Currently in the middle of falling off track & struggling to get back on track ...

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